The air around you literally rings with tension when you realize that something needs to be done urgently. Usually this state does not arise immediately, it is generated for a long time from small pieces, filling with power, and then collapses on you, generating a shock wave of anxiety and fear. Everything suddenly slips through your fingers. And when you decide to truthfully assess your financial situation, the results will shake you to your core.
The only way to swim out of these murky waters is to get your panic under control.
Example.
I’ll take an example from correspondence with a site reader. The topic of money is usually on everyone's mind, so this example can be useful to many.
The “closing” question sounded like this: “Who can I borrow from, who can I borrow from, because the day after tomorrow I have to go to work...”.
I immediately suggested not limiting ourselves to the topic of “borrowing”, because you can also find, win, accidentally discover, or receive as a gift. Money can also materialize - on a shelf or in a pocket, etc.
So, options for developing the plot... I won’t take the usual ones - you already know them. Let's go straight to the unusual ones.
A neighbor came and brought a pie. You cut the pie, and there is a wad of money. The neighbor says: “No, I didn’t, it’s not mine.” You and your neighbor split the pack in half. To celebrate, she started baking pies all the time and bringing them to you. And in each one, a wad of money materialized from somewhere.
Suddenly the sole of the old shoe came off - and between the insole and the sole several five-thousand dollar bills were found.
You decide to dig up the balcony box, and there is another wad of money.
And then in the old robe - in the right pocket - a large bill was discovered.
And a relative came to visit - and said - let me give you some money, I obviously have some extra money.
And also - the Minister of Finance happened to be passing through your city, he was informed that you were suffering, he personally came and gave out a couple of million in cash...
Plus, suddenly you have the ability to pull money out of thin air.
Or - as in Max Fry - from the “gap between worlds”.
And also the ability to materialize money in a dream. Every morning you wake up and find a certain amount under your pillow.
Well, there's something strange on the street. Money under your feet. I have to lift it. I’m already tired of even bending down after them!
And money began to multiply on its own in your pocket or wallet. You put a ten in your pocket, you take out a hundred. You put in a hundred, you take out a thousand. You put in a thousand, you take out a five-thousandth.
And if you put two pieces of paper in your pocket, then a third appears - a newborn. It’s scary to think what the money is doing there - in your pocket - at night!
And for some reason the cactus on the windowsill bloomed. But instead of petals, his flowers have dollar bills. Or euros - euros make prettier flowers.
And now it’s autumn. And it’s very strange, but in the yard, right under the windows, leaves from the trees are falling ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss with them. And while such a leaf falls, it turns into a bill.
And also. The battery suddenly became clogged. The plumber came and it turned out that a small wad of money, rolled up in a tube, was stuck in the pipe. The plumber, of course, gave it to you.
And there’s also an unknown well-wisher who drops a certain amount into the mailbox every day.
Also, the bank card behaves strangely. Several thousand are added to the account every day. By itself. From nowhere. And it is written that this is a translation from the country of Chifuarlia.
I think the idea from this example becomes clear.
A crisis. How to survive in difficult conditions? Round table of professional psychologists
Crisis is one of the most frequently used words today. Almost each of us has already faced its consequences. Someone lost their job, someone had their money frozen in the bank, someone didn’t receive a bonus... And someone sits anxiously and waits: “when is it my turn?” As always, what is scary is not the crisis itself, but the fact that people do not know how to cope with difficult situations. For example, having lost their job, they become despondent and depressed, and as a result lose their health, family, and friends. How to cope with the anxiety that has gripped us all during this difficult time? What can you do to avoid running into even bigger problems? How to learn to overcome the difficulties of life and learn to win in the most difficult situations? Can psychology help with this? We addressed these questions to our wonderful professional psychologists
.
Alekseeva Marina Anatolyevna -
analytical psychologist: How to survive in a crisis? A question that worries everyone. The very word crisis suggests some kind of disruption of something established, and therefore changes are coming, followed by adaptation to these changes and again another stress... Surviving in a crisis is very difficult for people with firmly fixed social roles and scenarios. This is the most at-risk part of the population, which “cannot live otherwise.” If a person from the management level is fired or laid off, it is very difficult, if not impossible, for him to find himself in the role of a salesman, hairdresser or handyman. In such a situation, it is much easier to drink or become depressed, but at the same time “save face”, rather than “fall” to the level of a street flower or fruit seller. It’s good if the savings in a cucumber jar allow you to lie on the couch at home and suffer. But what to do if this is not the case? We'll have to rebuild at full speed. How can you help yourself in such a situation? First of all, do not confuse respect for yourself as a person with respect for your social status. People often equate these concepts and consider their position in society to be a measure of self-respect. Respecting yourself simply because you are a person becomes insufficient. We become so fused with our social roles that they replace our true essence. Perhaps the crisis is your chance? Maybe life gives you the opportunity to see yourself in a different way? Or understand that you can also survive as a hairdresser. What if you like it? Crises have this property - they end sooner or later. And if an economic crisis is superimposed on a personal crisis, then the result will be some kind of new formation, such as, for example, the ability to be more flexible, or the ability to be active instead of suffering. You are not alone in the world and the crisis will affect hundreds and thousands of people. What will we end up with? Time will tell whether we will return to natural exchange, but only one thing is certain: the more we can, the more free we are in complex and rapidly changing conditions. And many of the limitations are our own attitudes about what we can and cannot do. I think that flexibility can help you survive in a crisis. And this, in turn, involves relying on those internal parts of yourself that have hitherto been inactive or unclaimed. If you can influence the course of the economic crisis, then you can do something to improve the situation. If this is not within your power, then do not waste your energy fighting windmills. Let your efforts be better spent on forming your new Self with its new capabilities and prospects. After all, in fact, you never know where the path of life will take you and what and why you come across along it. This can only be appreciated by looking back at your past experiences. I wish all of us to survive the economic crisis and survive it without losing our human face.
Nikolaeva Irina – practical psychologist, full member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League of the Russian Federation,
runs a private practice: Nowadays it is often heard from the screen and newspapers: “It’s even good that there’s a crisis. Finally he will put everything in its place.” I also agree that people cannot live long according to the standards imposed by glamor magazines. And it's time to hit the ground. I have to work a lot with young people whose demands are very high. Girls aged 25-30 want to have their own business, an oligarch husband and a bunch of charming children. Guys also dream of making millions by the age of 20. It is clear that only a few succeed in this. Therefore, the rest come to a psychologist with depression, because billions or billionaires cannot be found. Or maybe the goals should be more realistic? I remember the 1998 crisis. I had to work with people who had lost almost everything, and some had lost themselves. Of course, that crisis affected quite a few wealthy people. I am still tracking the fate of a family of millionaires. They had to fall from a great height. Plans collapsed, which affected all family members (for example, the children are now studying almost in a regular school, but they were supposed to study abroad). In this family, the husband was the earner of millions. After 1998, he lost all his multi-million dollar projects. Depression set in and the family collapsed. At the time, his wife came to the reception, who, having grieved, did not break down. Now she’s spinning around, dragging two children, and there have been many such cases. Therefore, what can be advised in this crisis, which is unclear who will affect anyone else? Stick to each other! Don't break families. In the crisis of the early 90s, many socialist marriages broke up, which now very elderly people greatly regret. And I would like to appeal to women: social cataclysms hit men the hardest. A huge load falls on them, which is very often difficult for them to withstand. Take care of them! In us, women, in such extreme situations, the hidden forces given to us by nature are activated so that we preserve our offspring. Sorry for the example, but in besieged Leningrad, some men died not from hunger (often they worked and received additional rations), but precisely from the horror of the situation. So, my relative just lay down, refused to eat and died. But his wife and children survived and were sent to evacuation. And lastly: even before the crisis, a survey was conducted in Germany and to the question “What is religion for you,” people answered “Family.”
Nesvitsky Anton Mikhailovich - psychologist, psychotherapist
, consultant for the “Mirror of the Soul” project: In society there have always been and are professions without which a person cannot survive, “eternal” professions - a person will always need to eat, dress, have some kind of roof over his head, organize his life, move to space, as well as to teach children (after all, people are unlikely to stop reproducing even in a crisis!), and, in addition, they will always at all times need help in treating physical and mental ailments. If, due to your education, you are not related to any of these professions, then you should at least think about approaching them. Yes, becoming a doctor or teacher in a month is unrealistic. As well as mastering running trains or building houses. But some vital goods will be delivered and sold in any crisis - the organization of transportation or trade will still be in demand, as well as consumer services. And here at least some kind of field for activity is already formed - it is already easier to master these professions. What prevents a person from rising to a (seemingly) lower social level? The idea of status and its importance in the eyes of society. The magic word “prestige” sometimes prevents you from even changing your field of activity even a little, because it will be “ashamed” to look into the eyes of acquaintances and friends whom this cup has so far passed. And won’t you be ashamed to look your children in the eye if you can’t feed them? I think it's much worse. Actually, status is just an illusion of one’s own importance, dust thrown into the eyes of others for the sake of self-affirmation. But not everyone is ready to part with this illusion. And some are playing for time, waiting for some mythical projects in which “such and such an acquaintance” or “former general director” promised to place them. As a psychologist, I suggest that a person who finds himself in a “hopeless” situation think about real values and build his own hierarchy of them. What is more important – social significance or the health of your own children? Peace of mind for parents and spouses? And if a person has common sense, he can calmly sacrifice prestige for the sake of peace of mind and at least some stability of his loved ones. In addition, any work, by definition, creates internal discipline, but waiting is demoralizing and can cause prolonged depression, especially if the person had previously worked quite intensively. The most undesirable thing in a crisis situation is to succumb to panic and begin to influence others with pessimistic forecasts and complaints; in addition to job instability, you can also acquire a reputation as a whiner and lose support in the form of friends and relatives. In general, a crisis is a positive moment in its own way: it can force a person to look for hidden resources and those values that are eternal in him and that cannot be taken away from him along with his work or status, and behind social screens a person often forgets about them. So for many, a crisis situation can be painful, but at the same time healthy for the psyche. The main thing is to remember these values in time and act in accordance with them.
Karyagina Natalya Vladimirovna -
psychoanalytic therapist, coach: I would like to suggest looking at the new crisis from the point of view of experiences characteristic of family, or rather child-parent, relationships. The global economic crisis, if viewed as an external circumstance, can be perceived as punishment, injustice, as a heavy dictate from authoritarian parents who suddenly decide to limit the number of freedoms and joys of their child. What will the “childhood” experiences be like? Resentment, bewilderment, anger, powerlessness. Fear about what to expect in the future. And the more rigid and authoritarian and unpredictable our real parents were with us in childhood, the more difficult it will be to realize and process this set of emotions. As is known, during previous serious changes and crises, some people, in whose character the leading role was played by “obedience,” loyalty, and diligence, were unable to cope with their experiences, adapt, find themselves in a new way, and as a result turned into unemployed, sick , disabled people and alcoholics. In order not to fall into the ranks of such losers, you need the strength and ability to “digest” resentment and disappointment and really look at the problems and resources that are available. The time of change is an opportunity to use those resources that you have not dared to use until now, to try to realize desires that you have denied yourself for fear of shaking the smooth flow of an established life. Perhaps it is a desire to seek help and assistance, or a desire to tap into untapped talents. Maybe these are the capabilities of your children or spouses that have not needed to be used until now, etc. A crisis is not only the time of the death of the old, but it is also the time of the birth of the new. Good luck to those who decide to transform, and if you need help with this, you are welcome to a coaching session.
Marchevskaya Elena Borisovna - consulting psychologist, member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League and the European Association of Transactional Analysis (EATA)
), consultant of the Psychological Navigator portal: The socio-economic crisis negatively affects not only the budget, but also people’s health. Irritability, insomnia, fatigue, overeating and chest pain are symptoms of an unstable psychological state. It is believed that the economic crisis affects women more than men. This situation is explained by the fact that women are especially worried about the future of their family and children and feel more defenseless in the face of difficulties. The very concept of crisis means a really acute situation in which an important decision must be made. This is the turning point, the most important moment. We feel internal discord, confusion, anxiety. And in this difficult situation, it is important for us not to forget that the crisis carries not only danger and instability, but also a chance to change our lives and create something new. To get through this test with the least loss, you need to take care of yourself: 1. give care to your physical body. Do for yourself what you like best - take a walk for at least 30 minutes, take a contrast shower, a warm bath with the addition of soothing aromatic oils. If possible, take a massage course. Don't forget also about proper nutrition and vitamins. And don't skimp on sleep. 2. think about your personal resources - your strengths, professional skills, values on which you rely in life. Write them down on a piece of paper and keep it in front of your eyes, reading it periodically. In a crisis, when we feel internal instability, it is easy to forget about what we really have, what we have invested in and what will never disappear from our lives. 3. And it is also important for us that during this difficult period our family, loved ones, and friends are with us. Spend more time with those who support and encourage you, who will remind you that you can overcome these difficulties, get through this crisis, no matter how difficult it may be. And I also want to remind you that everything new and positive often comes into our lives through a crisis. I am confident that we will be able to get through this crisis with dignity, learn important lessons from it and grow personally.
Konorov Fedor - psychotherapist (certificate of the EAGT standard (European Association of Gestalt Therapists)), employee of the Moscow Gestalt Institute, supervisor
, leader of psychotherapeutic groups and long-term training programs in Gestalt therapy: “Will I get paid tomorrow?
Will I be fired? Will my husband/wife be fired? Will prices rise tomorrow? Will my savings burn out? A situation in which a person loses the ability to predict his future gives rise to a strong and unpleasant experience - anxiety. This feeling, in my opinion, now most of all interferes with people’s lives, deprives them of everyday simple pleasures and joys, which, by the way, no one took away from them. Anxiety becomes a “screen” behind which other feelings are no longer visible. Anxiety causes people to stop relying on the resources they have. In order to survive in a crisis, it is worth understanding what you can do to worry less and what mechanisms are embedded within this difficult experience. First, be specific. Sit at the kitchen table, pour yourself some tea, call the family (adults) and have a family round table in the style of “what happens if...”. Analyze what exactly will happen in the event of certain unpleasant events. Try to be as accurate as possible in your analysis and calculations. Avoid yourself and ask your loved ones to avoid statements like “we will become poor”, “there will be nothing to eat”, “we will lose everything”. Anxiety exists only until a specific source of danger is detected. Anxiety is a modified fear, but only a fear in which we ourselves do not know what exactly we are afraid of. And that is why anxiety is not constructive. It is much better to be afraid of something specific than to worry with your whole soul, “entirely.” Secondly, don’t skimp on your nerves. If you are forced to cut your budget, think about what you can give up with minimal emotional loss. Let me give you an example. Now I hear from many people phrases like “there’s no time for pleasure now”, “this is a whim, a whim and we won’t buy it anymore” or even “we won’t celebrate the New Year” Of course, when it comes to a new beautiful car or the latest model of a supercomputer One can agree with this statement, but the fact is that very often we are talking about very cheap things! Yes, perhaps this thing is a whim and self-indulgence for you or someone close to you, but if you do not want to create panic in your family and in your own soul, allow it to yourself and your loved ones. By limiting yourself in simple, familiar pleasures, you increase the level of your dissatisfaction, and after this, anxiety increases. Third, ask for help. Very often in conversations with clients I come across a deep inner conviction that a person must cope with all difficulties on his own. Why? What's wrong with asking for help? Anxiety increases sharply when a person relies only on himself, that is, he voluntarily limits the area of possible resources necessary to solve the problem. At the same family round table, think about who could help you and how, and who you could help. The more such opportunities you discover, the less you will worry, which means you will become more resilient in the new economic conditions. Khazhilina Irina Ivanovna - clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, member of the professional Psychotherapeutic League
, specialist in short-term systemic therapy in families and organizations: The economic crisis occupies the front pages of newspapers, and makes us worry about the future... Russians joke: “We don’t have a crisis, we only have it consequences". The joke contains notes of fear, memories of 1998... “What can depend on me in such a situation?” - my clients complain during consultations. Of course, we are unable to change the situation on global financial markets. But the opportunity to preserve the “fixed capital” - health, remains in our hands! We live in an ever-changing world, to survive we must be able to adapt. The process of adaptation to new social conditions creates new stresses and is experienced by the individual as a crisis. "Crisis" from the Greek. “krinein” means “decision”, “turning point”, a daily state that requires choice, adoption, decisions... The danger of economic instability is that the nervous system of some people ceases to cope with overloads, and gets stuck on the “impossibility” of finding a way out. An economic crisis becomes a personal crisis when a person has a problem that he cannot get away from and which he cannot solve using familiar, familiar methods. Accordingly, a choice arises: wait for a “bad” ending or return calm at the cost of serious changes in life. Any crisis has two sides: negative - possible losses; positive - activation of internal capabilities, allowing you to gain new life experiences and a new outlook on the world. What to do to use the positive moments of the crisis: 1. Remain calm and sober in thought. 2. Rely on the realities of your own life. 3. Think through insurance options (what can I do differently if I get fired; in case of financial difficulties). 4. Save wisely. 5. Give due rest 6. Conduct an audit of your skills that can be used in new conditions 7. Start rebuilding your life, taking into account new conditions. (new areas of activity, redistribution of responsibilities in the family, redistribution of resources - physical, material) 8. In case of hopelessness, anxiety, depression, seek the help of a psychologist. Translated from Chinese, “crisis” is both danger and chance. Depending on what meaning is given to what is happening, you can get different results. A crisis is the beginning of change, let's make these changes positive!
Way out of the crisis: elaboration of goals and objectives for the future
Let's say you survived the emotional storm that followed the onset of the crisis and were able to determine for yourself the general direction of your future life path - you have intentions regarding building your own life. However, intentions alone are not enough, because life does not tolerate uncertainty. Therefore, the next step to successfully survive the crisis is a detailed study of goals and objectives for the future, building a life plan for yourself.
First you need to define global goals - what you want to get from life. However, global goals can be intimidating in their scale, so they should be broken down into smaller life tasks - this will make it much easier to start moving towards the final goal and celebrate your successes along the way.
Methods that help restore resources to overcome difficulties
1.Creativity
With the help of creativity it is possible to release accumulated and unconscious energy. Sometimes an ordinary drawing gives the answer to the most difficult question, because you know the saying: “everything ingenious is simple”? Therefore, take a sheet of paper, pencils or paints, and try to depict your hopeless situation. You don’t have to be able to draw beautifully, even if it’s just lines, spots, dots, whatever, but it symbolizes your condition. Let your hand move, do not control the accuracy and clarity.
Then, when you feel that the drawing is ready, listen to yourself, what feelings do you feel towards it? What thoughts come to mind? What do you want to do with it? Save it, hang it in a frame, or vice versa, tear it up, crush it and burn it? Do what you want, these manipulations will help you go a little beyond your usual view of the situation and free yourself from accumulated feelings.
2.Sport
Or active physical activity. When your body can release all the tension and you feel tired, your thoughts will become much clearer. Sometimes it’s important to just distract yourself and direct your energy in a different direction.
3. Practice meditation
It will help you relax and hear your true desires, listen to yourself, allow yourself to just be in the moment. And if you establish contact with yourself, it is likely that you will find a solution to the problem quite easily and unexpectedly. If you don’t know proper relaxation techniques, you can familiarize yourself with them in the article “The easiest to learn and effective way to meditate.”
Point six: plan for self-help
It is also called a crisis plan. There are methods on this topic, although this plan does not have to be drawn up according to any method. It could be just an idea or a bunch of ideas about what you should do if you get into trouble, and what will help you both when you get out of the current crisis, and if something similar happens to you again.
In general, at the exit from each crisis, notes should be formed: if this happens again, I will do this and that, but now I need this and that.
What you need to realize
- There are people with worse problems than you. For example, children with fatal diseases, parents who lost their young family in an accident, a boy who was killed in an unnecessary war. The world has not agreed on your situation, so you should not give up after the first defeat.
- Failure can be a happy turning point. This idea can be found on the pages of the book “The Law of Success” by Napoleon Hill. And it’s true: a sudden illness, failure in business or a broken relationship can sometimes save your head from even greater misfortunes.
- Advice to give up everything is advice from weak people. Before you listen to someone, look at their standard of living. If it is lower than what you want, you should not waste time listening to yet another opinion.
- Whatever happens, no matter who is to blame, it’s all in the past. Now we are facing a fact and we need to shift our attention to the present.
- Taking the initiative is a good quality of a successful person, but in our case, too decisive actions can cause harm.
