How to stop crying over trifles - detailed instructions for all occasions

Why do people cry

Crying is the body's reaction to feelings. The reason for tears can be both positive emotions (joy, tenderness) and negative ones (resentment, fatigue). Tears appear involuntarily and from pain.

Let's take a closer look at the reasons that cause crying.

1. A sad incident. The death of a loved one or pet, or a suddenly discovered disease cannot leave you indifferent. Against the backdrop of severe emotional shock, many cry; this is a completely understandable reaction in a difficult situation.
2. Fatigue, nervous exhaustion. When the body is working hard, any harmless situation can unsettle it. Therefore, people often break down and cry over trifles during periods of high emotional or physical stress, under the influence of stress factors.
3. Sad moments. People cry not only because of events that happen directly to them. A movie, a book read, a sad song, or, for example, a report about an abandoned child can cause tears. This empathy is typical for sensitive and emotional individuals.
4. Joy. With the help of tears, people throw out not only negative emotions, but also positive ones. This is why parents wipe away a stingy tear at their children’s graduation, and girls cry when a guy confesses his love.

Some people are easily influenced by provoking factors, others control themselves until the last moment. Excessively whiny individuals are also called whiners. Agree, it's an offensive nickname. We wrote earlier about how to stop whining.

Reasons for tears

Tears are a clear physical signal that others can perceive and which can often help improve human relationships.

Why do people cry

• By crying, a person demonstrates his vulnerability to others, and this is very important for building human relationships, since the sight of tears makes you sympathize with the person crying.
• There is also an opinion that tears for a crying person are a way of manipulating others. This tactic is learned almost from childhood: those around you will certainly react to tears.
• Crying is a good way to neutralize someone's anger and anger, and therefore a person, if he needs to beg for forgiveness, rushes into tears.

Interesting! Researchers have discovered that tears have different chemical compositions. Thus, tears caused by chopping onions differ from tears of an emotional nature, in which there was a higher percentage of protein, which gives them greater viscosity. Such tears flow more slowly down the cheeks, leaving trails that are noticeable to other people.

Tears in serious cases

There is no doubt that most often tears are caused by a feeling of pain from losses, injustice, and generally from various negative emotions.

The reasons for this may be:

• jealousy,
• resentment,
• fear,
• stress.

In fairness, it should be noted that tears can also be caused by an excess of emotions with a plus sign: remember at least the expression “to laugh until you cry” from some jokes or tears of tenderness at solemn moments, say, the baptism of a baby or the wedding of newlyweds.

On a note! The causes of tears are physiological and pathological. The former can be caused by weather conditions, stress, fatigue, colds, and vitamin deficiency.

Also, the cause of tearing can be visual strain or incorrectly selected optics. There are several pathological processes that cause lacrimation.

Photophobia

Doctors call this phenomenon photophobia, and it consists of increased sensitivity of the eye to bright light. Symptoms include pain in the eyes, a burning sensation, a desire to close the eyes or at least squint, and profuse lacrimation.

When are tears useful?

Don’t be afraid to be branded as a crybaby and don’t reproach yourself for a sudden tear. Sometimes it’s good to cry, the main thing is not to do it often and for any reason.

Tears help fight stress. After crying, the emotional state stabilizes, and the person quickly finds the strength to overcome an unfavorable situation.

After a hard day, it’s also not a sin to cry. Emotional and physical tension comes out through tears. Remember, you are not a robot and have every right to feel sorry for yourself. Of course, you shouldn’t cry every day out of despair, but sometimes it’s simply necessary.

Children's tears: how to deal with them?

Children's tears cause stress for parents. Adults do not know how to behave when their baby cries and very often behave incorrectly. This negatively affects the child’s mental health in the future.

We need to understand the reason for a child's crying. Parents often claim that this is how the child manipulates them.

In some cases, manipulation is indeed possible.

A child can manipulate his parents by crying if he knows:

• that they will take him in their arms;
• he will be allowed to do what was previously prohibited;
• that they will provide him with what he wants (they will buy a toy, give him some thing).

This is how spoiled children behave. A child needs to be raised and taught.

You shouldn’t overreact to the usual whims of your children, but turning away and leaving is also not an option. Tears can be a protective reaction of the child's body. Perhaps the baby is in pain or is experiencing fear or tension.

It is very important to understand the reasons for children’s tears and not make mistakes in your own behavior.

What to do if your baby cries?

1. Determine the cause. Try to ask the child, have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
2. Be near. When a baby cries, he needs adults. He needs to know that he is loved. Perhaps, after a couple of kind words and hugs, the child himself will share with mom or dad.
3. Maintain composure. There is an expression: “Children are a reflection of their parents.” If adults begin to panic at the slightest problem, then the child can adopt such emotions.
4. Don't punish. The baby began to cry, and in response they shouted at him or, even worse, “spanked him.” The child will begin to be afraid to express his emotions and stop trusting his parents.
5. Don't be intimidated. Parents should not develop phobias in their child.
6. Calm. Before they can begin to calm their child, parents must be calm themselves.
7. Joint problem solving. Offer to think about the current situation together. When calming your baby, you can try to switch his attention to something positive.

The main thing that can help parents in the fight against children's crying is their shared experience, support, and understanding. The child should feel supported by adults and know that tears are a natural reaction.

Are sedatives needed to control tears?

When a person experiences stress or some minor mental disorder, he may use sedatives. This will really distract him and help in some way. But it is not recommended to abuse them, and here's why:

1. Sedatives have side effects such as drowsiness, slow reaction, and distracted attention.
2. While using sedatives, you should not drive or operate complex machinery.
3. Pills do not bring peace of mind, they only dull emotions and put you into a state of lethargy. People who have used such drugs note that the condition is similar to moderate alcohol intoxication.
4. Sedatives can be addictive.

You should not use sedatives all the time. It is better to deal with stress and crying with the help of a specialist.

When is crying not recommended?

We can conclude that there is nothing wrong with tears, and emotional people do not need to restrain themselves. But that's not true. If it’s hard for you to calm down quickly and you often start crying, then you need to fight this. Be sure to read the article How to calm down.

Sobbing causes increased heart rate and increased blood pressure. Regular and frequent tears lead to the development of depression.

In some situations, tears are inappropriate; they can seriously damage your reputation and become an obstacle to your goal. Here are some of these events:

1. Interview. Few people will hire someone who has demonstrated emotional instability before taking office. Neither women nor men are forgiven for this. Experience, skills, reputation are unlikely to help save the situation. If you are going for an interview, I recommend watching a video with practical tips.
2. Exam. Any test, examination or thesis defense is a stressful situation for each of us. Nerves are on edge, and any uncomfortable question can provoke tears. But under no circumstances should you cry. Many teachers believe that in this way you demonstrate your helplessness due to unlearned material or are worried about grades.
3. Public place. A person crying on the street or on a bus evokes one desire - to help. There's nothing wrong with that. But excessive emotionality also attracts scammers. Masquerading with good motives, they easily ingratiate themselves into trust at a moment of moral weakness. As you know, a crying person's concentration decreases, and he easily becomes a victim of attackers. Believe me, such people have no moral values, and they deeply do not care about your tears.

Factors causing crying

You need to think about the source of the crying. If a person notices the systematic manifestation of tears, then this may signal deep problems. It is worth finding the reasons that contribute to crying:

• you can capture this on the paper of a personal diary: a person can record and then analyze his negative thoughts;
• some people start crying because of music, photographs - in this case it is rational to remove these things out of sight;
• It is worth doing an analysis of your personal reaction to quarrels and bickering: if you boycott scandals and discord, you will be able to avoid the moment of resentment and tears;
• You need to keep your emotions under control: you should behave more energetically and be the master of your life.

A person makes someone guilty: he becomes angry with a teacher for a bad grade, he is offended by his parents or a friend for misunderstanding, and negativity appears after breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. You shouldn’t shift responsibility, then you won’t have to shed tears. Emotions and thoughts can influence actions and actions.

Negative emotions and thoughts destroy a person’s inner world. Systematic irritation contributes to the development of fears and nervous breakdowns, stress and uncertainty in loved ones. Have you ever wondered whether crying is good for you when you're stressed? This is often necessary because low mood and crying can lead to prolonged depression. If a person is forced to cry by some situations from the past, it is necessary to realize that the past is unchanged, it is better to think about real events.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with friends

In order to stop crying for any reason, you should have a heart-to-heart talk with a loved one. This helps to rethink the worldview. There are also psychological help services. You can seek the help of a specialist who will help you stop crying every day and prevent mental anguish. If the situation is critical, you can seek help from a knowledgeable specialist in the field of psychology.

The doctor will determine the factors behind crying and recommend how to quickly calm down and keep emotions under control.

How to stop crying

I only talked about a few situations where tears are inappropriate. But in reality there are many more. Every person should know how to prevent crying and calm down if tears have already begun to treacherously drip from the eyes. I also recommend reading the article How to Stop Being a Victim, some tips will help you stabilize your emotional state.

Physical methods

I have prepared a list of physical and psychological recommendations on how to stop crying, even if you want to. Let's start with the physical ones.

1. Smile. Laughter will help you not only not to cry, but also switch to a positive wave. Try to remember a funny life story or a banal joke. Of course, when they shout at you, it’s hard to navigate and come up with something fun. Therefore, make a kind of “preparation”: keep a funny story in your head that you just need to remember at the right moment.
2. Water. When you are ready to cry from resentment or for any other reason, drink a glass of water. Just don’t rush, drink slowly, in small sips. Your heart rate will stabilize and your attention will shift.
3. Breathing exercise. Try to breathe deeply, open a window to let in fresh air. This should prevent inappropriate sobbing.
4. Pain. You will be surprised, but crying is perfectly controlled by pain. Just pinch yourself or lightly pull your hair. The secret lies in distraction.
5. Exercises for the eyes. If you feel tears coming, just close your eyes and count to ten. Other people, on the contrary, benefit from frequent blinking. Determine which option is right for you, and experiment alone so that in critical moments you can use the most effective method.

Psychological methods

Sometimes physical methods are not entirely relevant. Agree, it will look a little strange when you start blinking sharply or pulling your hair at an important event. I'll tell you what to do to stop yourself from crying without drawing too much attention to yourself.

1. Gratitude. Often problems on the personal front interfere with normal life and work. And you are ready to cry at a crucial moment because of the guy who meanly abandoned you. But you need to let go of any situation. Mentally or in writing thank the offender for everything that happened and let him go. This advice even applies to an angry boss, a mean girlfriend, or toxic parents.
2. Meditation. Regular meditation helps you become calmer and not waste energy without reason. This is especially important for emotional, sensitive people.
3. Abstraction. They shift attention not only physically, but also psychologically. For example, you might start reading a poem in your head or reciting the multiplication tables.
4. Self-discipline. A person is able to control his emotions. To do this, you need to constantly say in your head that you are strong and know how to restrain yourself. Promise yourself to cry later, in an appropriate environment.

How to learn to hold back tears: advice from psychologists

2. Switching attention. If tears are already welling up in your eyes and you definitely need to hold them back, you can mentally ask yourself one of the following questions: “Did I turn off the iron?”, “Did my neighbors flood me?” Psychologists call these questions “adrenaline questions.” A sharp release of adrenaline into the blood will change your emotions, and you will not cry.
3. Turning on the imagination. Imagine your offender in a funny and absurd way.

1. Or try the “replacement method” - you are the boss, and the boss is you. How many kind words would you say to him? The main thing here is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.

Will pills help reduce tearfulness?

You may think: why torture yourself with different methods if sedative pills perfectly help stabilize your emotional state. I agree, they really help. But there are also negative consequences of using drugs.

1. Sedatives slow down the reaction and cause drowsiness. You should not drive while taking them.
2. Pills don't help you overcome emotions, they simply dull their severity. The effect of sedatives is even compared to the effect of alcohol.
3. Anti-anxiety medications are addictive. Sometimes people have to seek medical help to overcome their addiction to sedatives.

Why do my eyes water?

Tearing may be due to certain reasons. Common causes of watery eyes include the following:

1. Damage or debris in the eyes.
   In case of uncontrolled lacrimation, it is worth carefully examining the condition of the mucous membranes. They may be damaged. Sometimes the problem is caused by a foreign object getting into the eyes. To cope with this symptom, you should thoroughly rinse your eyes with water. If this does not help, it is recommended to consult an ophthalmologist.
2. Inflammatory process.
   Watery eyes often result from inflammation in the eyes. It is caused by bacteria, viruses, and fungi. In such a situation, you should immediately consult a doctor who will prescribe eye drops.
3. Allergic reactions.
   If allergy symptoms appear, you should consult a doctor and take an antihistamine.
4. Onion cutting.
   To avoid tears, it is recommended to wet the knife and vegetable with cool water. The substance that causes tears is mixed with water and does not enter the air. This will help prevent tearing.
5. Tired eyes.
   A tea compress will help cope with this symptom. To do this, you need to boil sponges in tea leaves and apply them to your eyes for 15 minutes. It is recommended to do this at night.
6. Emotional overload.
   Stopping tears in this case is quite difficult. If something serious happens, don't hold back. In this case, you need to cry to release negative emotions. If the cause is conflict or resentment, it is better to switch thoughts and try to remember something good. This will help you take your mind off what is happening and contain your emotions.

How to hold back tears when you want to cry from resentment during a conversation?

Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back tears, and there are even situations when it seems that it is simply impossible to do so. In this case, psychologists have several ways that you can use to take control of the situation.

Psychologists recommend:

• Switch attention

To do this, you can use some questions that will definitely make you take your mind off crying. These are questions like “is my stove turned off?”, or “is my apartment locked?”

You can remember the multiplication table, the lyrics of your favorite song, or the password for something important to you.

You can also switch your attention in another way, by turning your gaze to some object. It is advisable that the object of your attention has many small details that should be closely examined, counted, etc.

The girl looks into the distance

• Use your imagination

To do this, you can imagine the person who offended you in a bizarre image. The most important thing here is not to laugh, otherwise you can harm yourself even more in an already tense situation.

• Pinch yourself or bite your lip

Physical sensations that you will definitely focus on, for example, while pinching your wrist, can also help your emotions recede.

• Focus on breathing or hold it altogether

To do this, you need to slowly and deeply inhale through your nose and exhale for a long time through your mouth, concentrating on the process itself. Also, during an emergency, the human body itself is capable of getting rid of unimportant matters, so you can simply hold your breath.

Deep breathing helps relieve tension during times of stress and avoid tears

• Drink water

If possible, you should drink water, concentrating on the process itself. You need to drink slowly, in small sips.

• Make sudden movements

Sudden movements always help relieve tension, so you can try to stand up quickly, sit down quickly, open a window, push in a chair, etc. If it is not possible to make sudden movements, then you can simply try to suddenly change your position, straighten your shoulders, raise your head, while concentrating on your breathing.

• Avoid direct views of third parties

Any, even a small glance of sympathy in your direction can cause a rapid flow of tears, so you should avoid such glances in every possible way. There is no need to look at anyone, it is better to look out the window, at a picture, etc.

• Use a pen or phone

If the situation and conditions allow, then in a critical situation you can start writing something pleasant on a piece of paper. This will give you the opportunity to take your mind off a stressful situation.

You can also use, for example, a mobile phone or tablet. If tears start to come, you can simply distract yourself and look on the Internet.

• Leave the premises when passions are heating up

If the situation has escalated to the limit, then, avoiding tears, you should leave the room where the unpleasant situation overtook you as quickly as possible. This decision will help you avoid tears, let go of the situation, and calm down.

After the tension has subsided, you can try to continue the conversation.

After the situation that could have caused you tears is left behind, you should do the following:

• Blot your face, neck, and arms up to the elbows with cool water. You can use an ice cube by placing it on your wrist

Wash your face - avoid tears

• Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. Tell yourself everything is fine
• Think about something pleasant, if you wish, you can read a prayer
• Drink sweet tea
• Talk out, tell someone close about your worrying issue who can support you

Offer physical support if appropriate

Sometimes people don’t want to talk at all, they just need to feel that there is a loved one nearby. In such cases, it is not always easy to decide how to behave.

Your actions should correspond to your usual behavior with a particular person. If you are not too close, putting your hand on your shoulder or giving him a light hug will suffice. Also look at the behavior of the other person, perhaps he himself will make it clear what he needs.

Remember that you should not be too zealous when consoling your significant other: your partner may take this for flirting and be offended.

Help a loved one understand the problem

Even if a person is looking for ways to resolve a difficult situation, first he just needs to talk it out. This especially applies to women.

So wait to offer solutions to the problem and listen. This will help the person you are comforting understand their feelings. After all, sometimes it is easier to understand your own experiences by telling others about them. By answering your questions, the interlocutor can find some solutions himself, understand that everything is not as bad as it seems, and simply feel relieved.

Here are some phrases and questions that can be used in this case:

• Tell me what happened.
• Tell me what's bothering you.
• What led to this?
• Help me understand how you feel.
• What scares you the most?

At the same time, try to avoid questions with the word “why”; they are too similar to judgment and will only anger the interlocutor.

Harm and benefit

Tears are a fluid secreted by the lacrimal glands.

Psychologists call for changing the habitual attitude towards tears. Crying is what makes each of us human.

There is a direct connection between the lacrimal gland and the areas of the brain that are responsible for human emotions. Tears serve many interesting functions. Scientists note that it is much more harmful to restrain emotions.

Experts agree that most people are victims of psychological trauma and childhood emotions. Need to relive their feelings in a safe relationship or environment.

Such people often cry when watching movies or listening to music. They need to be understood and loved, they must learn to express their needs and translate them into the world around them.

Benefit

The benefit is that the tear fluid washes the tear ducts. This provides nutrition and hydration to the conjunctiva.

There are no blood vessels on the corneas of the eyes, so tears provide essential nutrients and cleanse the surface of the eyeballs.

The benefits of crying also include physical health and stress reduction. Many people don’t think: what if people who cry can ease their state of mind. This is a normal manifestation that brings relief at the level of the physical body.

Let's summarize what the main benefits of tears are:

• reduction of psychological tension and stress;
• removal of toxic substances from the body;
• moisturizing the eyeballs, protecting against damage;
• reduction of psychological and physical pain - in the process of crying, the body produces natural painkillers;
• normalization of blood pressure.

Experts note that a person who has cried does not solve his problem; however, he can look at the situation more calmly and objectively.

Harm

Crying is harmful for people who are not aware of the causes of their problems and are able to independently drive themselves into severe stress and depression.

They conducted tests in which they examined people who cried at a sad film. 80% of them confirmed that after finishing the picture they felt worse than people who did not cry.

If regular crying is constant self-flagellation or streams of self-pity, then this has a destructive effect on a person’s psychological state. The most unfavorable prognosis is for people with severe depression who are not aware of the causes of their experiences.

Why can't you cry a lot?

With frequent emotional crying, a hormonal imbalance is possible. Is it normal to cry all the time?

According to the study, more than half of respondents do not feel relief after crying. 7% of people feel much worse.

It's important to look for other ways to cope with stress without resorting to frequent crying. This depletes the nervous system and is unfavorable for the immune system and general condition of a person.

In some cases, crying brings people together. However, many note that the constant crying of the interlocutor causes irritation and alienation. Most people are not ready to see the tears of others, even if they themselves are the cause of grief.

What will happen to the eyes?

If you cry almost every day, the functioning of the sebaceous glands is disrupted. A chronic inflammatory process at the edges of the eyelids is possible. Such a violation is accompanied by a slowly growing formation - a hailstone. This is a common condition that affects the upper and lower eyelids. It should not be confused with stye, a condition when an infectious pathogen gets into the eyes.

The eyes become swollen, red, and constantly irritated. In addition to physiological discomfort, this does not have the most favorable effect on appearance.

Many people prefer to communicate with calm, joyful, self-sufficient individuals and not see other people's tears.

Is it possible to lose weight

The Loss Altos Medical Group conducted research on the connection between tears and weight loss. We came to the conclusion that, along with tears, some toxic substances are removed from the body, which helps restore metabolism and lose weight.

When crying due to emotions or stress, the body produces the hormone cortisol. It performs several functions:

• mobilization of the body's forces;
• dulling of hunger;
• decreased appetite.

The body burns and converts fat reserves, providing additional energy. Ultimately, this does lead to weight loss.

“Witness” your interlocutor’s feelings

We all know how difficult it is to find yourself in a situation where you need to console someone, but you can’t find the right words.
Fortunately, most often people do not expect specific advice from us. It is important for them to feel that someone understands them, that they are not alone. So first, just describe how you feel. For example, using the following phrases: “I know that it’s very difficult for you now,” “I’m sorry that it’s so difficult for you.” This way you will make it clear that you really see what it’s like for your loved one right now.