Probably every person wants to be better than he really is, but not everyone wants to do something and make efforts for this. And as real life and news and information channels and articles show, one must make an effort, one must try and work on self-development and self-improvement. Otherwise, your life will be boring and meaningless. As practice shows, interesting, intelligent and highly developed people are much more interesting than those who cannot string together two phrases without the words of parasites.
Therefore, if you are thinking that you need to somehow develop and improve yourself, you can take note of the following tips. Remember that self-development is complex actions based on your desire, independent studies and exercises aimed at improving your life.
What is self-development and why is it needed?
Self-development is, first of all, a purposeful and conscious process undertaken by a person for his own personal growth. This is working on yourself to improve the quality of life, its spiritual and intellectual fulfillment.
There are a great many directions for self-improvement, or more precisely, you can choose absolutely any direction:
- healthy lifestyle;
- special knowledge, skills, practices;
- new professions, career growth, improvement of financial situation;
- vivid impressions, travel, cinema, theaters, books;
- relationships, participation, helping those who need it.
Even a small act that takes you out of your comfort zone is self-development.
Without movement there is no life. Routine, fatigue, fear of change, and just plain laziness turns back the flow of time. Development is being replaced by degradation. It leads to apathy, lack of meaning in life, bad mood, and health problems. And most importantly, to the reluctance to change anything.
Why there is no desire for self-improvement
What prevents us from changing? First of all, these are fears, fear of change. Nobody wants to take on extra responsibility, face criticism, or suffer failure. Therefore, going beyond the limits of a comfortable existence requires serious efforts and actions. The longer a person stays in his cocoon, the harder it is for him to get out of there.
The second reason is motivation. It is she who motivates a person to action, makes him move towards his intended goal. The motivational essence of an individual itself reacts to external and internal stimuli and determines the source of motivation. And if an active person has enough of his own attitudes for constant development, then an inert and weak person definitely needs an example from the outside.
The third reason can be called lack of willpower. Inability to control one’s reactions to external temptations, inability to defend personal long-term interests for the sake of momentary weakness. What you should learn first of all is strengthening your spirit, which in essence will be the beginning of self-improvement.
Lesson 8. Don't waste time and energy on trifles
After telling you not to complain unnecessarily, today I want to talk to you about another valuable suggestion to improve yourself. The ability to distinguish between what is worthy of your commitment and things that are a waste of time.
You probably know people who are always busy, people who have more and more projects, meetings, errands than possible, and who are desperately running back and forth. These people try to be able to do everything, and it is precisely because they devote themselves to everything, exercising both mentally and physically, that they can no longer recognize the only opportunities that can lead them to success. They are so blinded by the many obligations in which they are involved that, although they are faced with those rare and precious situations that can change their condition for the better, they cannot see them.
Or, even if they see them, they refuse to accept them because they are really too busy with what they are doing to devote themselves to anything else. To fail requires the same energy as to succeed, and this is the reason why there are so many active people in whose lives, however, nothing extraordinary ever happens, and where routine is the rule. These are, of course, purposeful people, but they will not go anywhere and are incapable of development. In fact, it's as if they are hiding from success and doing everything to fail and they don't even realize it.
Therefore, I suggest not pursuing useless and unimportant goals that lead you to fossilization. This applies to both work and leisure. You are not here on Earth to waste precious hours.
Believe me when I tell you that small daily changes are enough to achieve much better results. And one of the most productive changes is being able to focus on the things that matter most to your personal development, so that you have time to face the real problem when we encounter it.
A helpful strategy for allowing you to dedicate yourself to important goals without allowing yourself to be distracted by wasting time is to delegate tasks that you feel are less likely to prepare you for success. The “don't do” attitude can be summed up in the following words: “I can do it faster and better on my own anyway.” But can you really do it? Are you sure about that? Hardly. So break the habit of doing everything yourself, delegate when you can, and stop hiding behind useless goals. There is a better way to live: it takes time to grow. Now, not tomorrow, but now!
How to approach working on yourself correctly
By getting rid of fears, gathering willpower into a fist and finding a motivating motive, you can begin to change for the better. Not every person is able to “get blown up” overnight and radically change their life. This is not necessary. Let's consider the first 3 steps for a smooth and harmonious transition to the path of personal self-development.
Get your head in order
Listen to yourself. Analyze your life. Try to answer the following questions: “What is important to me?”, “What do I really want?”, “What would I like to do?”, “What brings me joy?” Without deep self-knowledge it is impossible to develop yourself.
Try to formulate the main meaning of your life, why you live, what mark you want to leave. What is your value system? Decide on personal goals in different areas of activity and realistic ways to achieve them.
Start doing something new
Thinking about the meaning of life can take a long time. Therefore, when thinking about understanding yourself, start developing with actions that are unusual for your everyday life. Visit an event that has never attracted your attention before, meet new people, take an unusual trip, and finally sign up for a volleyball club. Why not? It's very exciting.
New events and impressions lift your spirits, broaden your horizons, and help you identify your hidden abilities. Positive emotions liberate, attract good luck, and make it easier to cope with fears.
Select a target
Set a realistic goal for yourself and take at least one small step a day towards it. It is important not to take on an exorbitant burden and not to force things. Break your main goal into subgoals and raise the bar each time. Move little by little, but constantly. The result will not be long in coming. The successes achieved will increase your motivation to continue working on yourself.
“The chicken pecks at the grain, but is full.”
Russian proverb.
And don't put it off until tomorrow. “Tomorrow” means “never.”
Take care of yourself physically
Physical capabilities undoubtedly play a very important role in order to feel happy and to experience a better quality of life.
When we feel bad or hurt, we can’t help but be upset about it, feel sorry for ourselves and justify our idleness.
To get rid of this problem, your physical condition must be at such a level that you do not even think about it . You do this by exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep.
Without suitable oil, water, fuel and systematic maintenance, a car cannot drive normally. Its parts begin to fail one by one until the car completely falls apart.
The same happens with our body. Take care of your body. Give him the opportunity to act in your interests, and not vice versa.
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Where to start: step-by-step instructions
An action plan will help you begin to develop as a person. My detailed guide consists of practical recommendations. Take into account those that suit you, and take note of the rest.
Step 1. Decide what you want to do
You've already gained enough experience when you tried something new. Based on your feelings, decide in which direction you will start moving. Will it be a change of profession, career growth or modeling your own figure. What area of your life do you most want to develop?
Write down the task in a special diary. Make a substantive, not abstract, plan to solve it. Specify a time frame. Check the boxes for successful completions. Celebrate small victories too. Complete and complicate the tasks.
Step 2: Plan your day
It is impossible to work on yourself without having time for this. Use it effectively. Write down your to-do list in your diary and rank them by importance. Think over your daily routine, find a suitable place in it for self-realization.
Don't burden yourself with unnecessary things; they don't give you productivity, but they take up time. In addition, an artificial lack of time can become an excuse for relaxation in achieving results.
Step 3: Find time to relax
“Whoever does not know how to rest cannot work well,” “The best rest is active.” Remember these statements? Rest is necessary for each of us. Contemplating the landscapes and breathing in the fresh air, a person relaxes and is charged with positive energy.
After a busy day at work, it’s not a sin to lie on the couch and watch your favorite TV series. Do not deny yourself the usual pleasures, but do not abuse them - it is unlikely that you will be able to develop in this way. Don't go to bed late, try to wake up at the same time. Healthy sleep is necessary to restore strength.
Step 4. Overcome laziness
Laziness is the body’s resistance, refusal to perform unnecessary and meaningless actions from its point of view. It is necessary for a person to survive and helps preserve physical or mental energy. Indeed, why cook dinner yourself, if you can order pizza at home, change your life, if you are already happy with everything.
The less energy a person has, the more laziness manifests itself. Conversely, excess energy makes the accumulation of energy resources pointless. You can overcome laziness only with activity. Don’t immediately take on large tasks, don’t frighten your body, break them down into small parts. Act constantly, turning the process into a habit, a system. Enjoy the experience.
Step 5. Start acquiring new knowledge
Reading books, visiting exhibitions, theaters enriches life and opens up prospects for self-development. Choose a genre you like, plunge into the magical world of creativity, gain knowledge, and recharge your batteries.
Surround yourself with interesting people. You don't have to communicate with them one-on-one. Listen to radio or television programs with smart, educated, motivated participants. Filling with deep, diverse information is conducive to spiritual and physical growth.
Get rid of bad habits
Habits shape your lifestyle, so it’s worth thinking about them. To feel a surge of strength and activity, psychologist Evgenia Streletskaya recommends:
- stop drinking alcohol and smoking;
- review your diet and make it up of healthy foods;
- drink enough water;
- get full sleep.
In addition, work through the addictions that all people in the 21st century are susceptible to:
- “hanging out” on social networks;
- sitting in front of the TV in the evenings, etc.
Take a few days to observe yourself, record how you spend your time, and decide what is really important to you.
Useful materials for self-development
In this block I want to recommend two things to you. Firstly, the Vikium service, which I personally use. Secondly, our selections with self-development courses.
Free simulators and webinars from Vikium
So, let's get acquainted with Wikium. This is a very cool site because it is almost completely free. There are a lot of useful things there that I highly recommend.
First of all - training equipment. There are now more than a hundred of them, and the project continues to create more and more new ones. A simulator is a simple online program for improving a skill. Most of them improve memory and attention, but there are also trainers for working with text, associative thinking, speech, quick counting and other skills.
Advice
Make yourself a training program on Wikium. To create it, you must first glance at all the simulators and select the ones that are suitable for yourself. Then try to work out on them and distribute them all by day of the week. You can even set the time for each individual exercise machine.
A training plan will help you remember to do them and not get lazy.
The second usefulness is webinars. Previously there was only one webinar, but now two more have been added. They are also completely free, but you must register for them in advance. Here are the links:
- Secrets that weren't told to you. About how to achieve your goals and increase productivity at work or in school. After the webinar, experts give each participant a gift - a selection of exercises that will help improve concentration on the tasks at hand, concentrate and “not lose focus.”
- The brain is a superpower that you don't use. Teachers talk about the peculiarities of the functioning of the human brain, how to make your head work in order to achieve a “breakthrough” in life, in interpersonal relationships, in your career, etc.
- The world is changing, are you keeping up with it? About how not to get lost in the modern world, how to quickly memorize information of any kind, build associative connections in memory, how to correctly search for information and work with it. The materials are applicable to people in all fields of activity.
From my own experience I will say the following. At these webinars, Vikium usually advertises some of its paid products, but the webinars do not focus specifically on advertising. They are informative and interesting, they provide material that you can actually apply in your life. Plus, everything is free. I recommend.
Vikium courses
Let's move on to the courses. They are already paid, but quite cheap. I will list the best of them and briefly describe them.
Brain detoxification - it seems to me that this is the most popular and in demand course. Have you ever been in a situation where something unpleasant happens and you constantly think about it? It’s like you’re chewing the cud of negativity and just can’t spit it out? This is a disgusting condition and “Brain Detoxification” teaches you how to deal with it. You will learn how to stop this kind of dialogue within yourself and quickly switch to the positive.
Goal setting is not only about how to set goals, but also how to create a step-by-step plan for achieving them, and how not to lose motivation on the way to your goals. In addition to theory, the course contains many exercises and simulators that will help you consolidate goal-setting skills in practice and become a more purposeful person.
Emotional intelligence - how to learn to better understand your own emotions and the emotions of others, respond to them correctly in order to maintain interpersonal communication. The program is designed to improve different aspects of your life, to help you create a positive atmosphere around you both at home and at work, in communicating with people of your age, as well as with parents and children.
Effective communication - how to communicate correctly with a person in difficult situations, how to behave when conflicts arise, and not allow these conflicts to grow. The course also includes material on reading body language, analyzing facial expressions and gestures.
Thinking is more practice than theory. You will work with different exercises to learn to think outside the box. Experts will teach you to analyze different types of information, quickly highlight the main points, and see relationships.
Profiling is about how to “read a person.” How to understand whether he is lying to you or telling the truth. How to understand just by looking at what feelings a person has for you, whether he enjoys being around you.
Mnemonics – experts teach the most popular mnemonics that will help you remember information quickly. You will better remember important dates, names, phone numbers, bank card numbers and PIN codes. Another plus of the program is that it is ideal for those who want to learn languages.
100 names in 30 minutes is about the same as mnemonics. This program is narrower and is aimed only at names.
Speed reading is how not just to quickly read texts, but how to be able to grasp information, remember and analyze everything. Once you have mastered this course, you will be able to work much more effectively with text materials.
Polyglot - here are techniques that help you learn any foreign language. These are like “keys” to languages. You will learn how to remember words correctly so that they don’t fly out of your head literally the next day, how to work with grammatical rules, how to quickly start speaking a foreign language, and so on.
Our selections of courses for self-development
Now about our courses. A couple of months ago we published a selection of psychology courses. It is very popular among readers, probably because we have collected a lot of high-quality free courses and intensive courses there. Even those that are held on the largest online platforms such as Skillbox and Netology.
All courses are sorted into groups - take a look through them and choose what you like best.
Here are a few more selections, check them out:
- Courses for managers - materials for managers of any level. Lots of life hacks and instructions for those who want to lead people, resolve conflicts, and lead their organization to prosperity.
- Speed reading - here we have collected a variety of speed reading programs so that you can choose the one that suits you.
- Personnel management - in addition to psychological courses, there are also “applied” ones. For example, how to properly report to your superiors, how to convey your superiors’ ideas to your subordinates.
- Public Speaking - Basically courses on how to speak in front of an audience, answer questions, and handle objections.
- Courses on relationships - this refers to the relationship between a man and a woman, a guy and a girl. We tried to collect materials there for people of absolutely all ages.
And lastly, check out our selection of self-development books. The selection was made by a professional psychologist; she collected books that are really worth reading for every person. Don't neglect.
Lesson 7: Avoid Complaining and Upsetting Yourself Unnecessarily
In the last lesson we saw that improving your life shouldn't be too complacent at the risk of resting on your laurels. In this lesson, food for thought concerns the opposite attitude. Unhelpful compassion, risking breaking down to the point where you no longer have the skills or even the enthusiasm needed to overcome the challenges of excellence.
We all know from the events that affect us first-hand, or from what we simply observe from the outside as spectators, that life is not always fair. You are likely to encounter unfair situations where, despite the fact that you did most of the work, someone else managed to get credit for it.
Maybe you put in a lot more effort than your colleague (or someone you know), you know you're much better, capable or prepared, but you only get half of what he gets. That's why there are times when life doesn't seem to reach out to us.
Instead of rewarding us, it punishes us. But we must admit that this is completely normal. The dynamics of life are unpredictable, and certain circumstances are beyond our control. It is true that we must always try, within the limits that we are allowed, to be masters of our destiny, but it is also true that complete control is impossible because life is a fascinating mystery.
The only alternative we have in those moments when something goes wrong is to resist, to refuse to give up, even if there is no guarantee of what we can achieve with our persistence. Avoid complaining and mourning yourself, because your troubles and problems are not much worse than the failures of others.
Never let the pain, obstacles and obstacles of the moment ruin your attitude and your plans for the future. Know that if you put on the terrible cloak of self-pity, you will never be able to win. The unpleasant sound of screaming will surely destroy any opportunity for success, and it will inevitably lead you to the slaughterhouse of misfortune.
When something goes wrong, never utter words of complaint or reproach, such as: “Why should I put up with this?”, “How unfair life is!”, “Everything is going wrong for me.” Instead, ask yourself constructive questions: How did I create this? What was I thinking? What were my ideas? What did I say or didn't say? What did I do or didn't do to get this result? How did I get another person to act this way? What will I need to do differently next time to get the results I want?
Finally, consider that an effective strategy for overcoming the temptation to complain is to remind yourself that you have every opportunity to succeed, and that any complaint would be truly unkind to those who have less than you.
Then move on with your life with gratitude for the potential you have, trying to do something constructive and stop complaining. On the other hand, you already have everything you need to become the person you want to be.
How to improve yourself as a woman
For the fair half of humanity there are no restrictions in choosing directions for self-improvement. Family, career, beauty, education, charity - you can develop in any of these directions, if only you have the desire.
Lead a healthy lifestyle, watch your diet - this prolongs your youth. Add physical activity to your schedule and tighten your muscles. Visit a cosmetologist, go shopping. Don't forget about intellectual development. An intelligent and beautiful woman can achieve a lot in life.
How to realize yourself as a man
Nature has assigned the role of protector and breadwinner to men. Get serious about sports, train your body and spirit. Change your job to a new one with the prospect of career and financial growth. Spend more time raising your children, take responsibility for their future, pass on your experience to them. Help your parents, provide them with a decent life, be a support for them, give them a reason to be proud of themselves.
Develop erudition, a man should know a lot. Read books. Don't forget that the sexiest organ in males is the brain.
Organize your finances
How to improve your financial condition? To do this, it is important to learn how to manage funds correctly. A scheme for efficient distribution of money is described by entrepreneur Robert Kiyosaki. In the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, the famous investor recommends saving 10% of your total income to achieve your desired goals. This simple rule helps solve money problems and give up the habit of spending everything at once.
When allocating your finances, remember that investing in yourself is the best investment in the future. Allocate funds for self-education, books, trainings. You can later turn the acquired knowledge into sources of new income.
