How to become a brave and more determined person: useful tips

At all times, courage was considered a positive quality, one of the main virtues, as well as a sign of a spiritually developed personality. There is not a single timid person who, at least once in his life, has not thought about how to become brave and learn to control the feeling of fear. Developing this strong-willed character trait is not an easy task; it requires titanic work and constant work on oneself.

Psychological portrait of a brave man

To become bold and courageous, you need to know what characteristics are inherent in a decisive and self-confident person. A person can be called brave only if he meets the following requirements:

• Knows how to keep emotions under control, adequately assesses the situation and is able to make the right decision, relying solely on the voice of reason.
• He knows what he wants and does not give up on his goal, even if he has to make certain sacrifices to achieve it.
• Responsible for his words and actions.
• Ready to fight for the honor and dignity of loved ones.
• He soberly assesses his capabilities, but never gives in to difficulties.

A daredevil differs from a coward in that in any situation he does not lose face and does not cave in under the pressure of public opinion. Courage allows you to believe in a bright future, because a courageous person realizes that fate is entirely in his hands.

Find inspiration.

Psychologists are sure that a good result can only be achieved when there is support. For example, it is better to run in the morning with a company, and to do yoga with a trainer. It is possible to climb the peaks alone, but it is much more difficult.

So it is with self-development. You need to find a brave and determined person who knows exactly how to become brave and can inspire or encourage.

Some people draw strength from watching the Die Hard film series with Bruce Willis, while for others, a role model is a person who has overcome a terrible disease.

It doesn’t matter who becomes the inspiration, the main thing is that he is there, and you want to look up to him.

The Nature of Fear

To develop courage, you first need to conquer your fears, many of which originate in childhood. Severe fear and fear are a response of the nervous system to a situation that forces a person to flee or capitulate to danger. At the same time, the adrenal glands begin to actively produce the hormone cortisol, which provokes severe stress.

Thus, fear is a natural reaction of the body , based on chemical processes in the body and reinforced by the environment, which teaches a person to always be on guard. The ability not to be afraid of anything and not to panic is developed through proper training of consciousness.

Any attempt to hide from a real or perceived threat by burying your head in the sand makes fear stronger. The longer a person searches for an excuse for his cowardice, the more time he will spend panicking about the possible undesirable consequences of a particular situation.

Only by looking into the face of your fear can you find an effective weapon against it.

Causes of insecure behavior

Psychologists advise looking for the root causes of insecurity in childhood memories. The family does not necessarily have to have an authoritarian mother or father who intimidates, punishes or demands a lot from the child. Sometimes it’s enough just to scold him in front of his peers.

Common causes of self-doubt in children:

• parents do not support or praise for successes, but they always scold for mistakes;
• mom and dad say: “you won’t succeed,” “don’t even try,” “it’s pointless”;
• ignore the child's needs and desires;
• compared with other children;
• a child experiences bullying at school.

Childhood insecurity and low self-esteem often carry over into adulthood, where the already formed personality behaves indecisively and weak-willed. New sources of loss of self-confidence may include:

• obsessive anxiety that cannot be controlled;
• lack of willpower and motivation;
• non-compliance with the invented ideal;
• increased emotional sensitivity;
• flaws in appearance;
• lack of work, doing something you don’t like, or low wages;
• unrealized dreams and plans;
• lack of talents and abilities;
• fixation on past failures;
• stress;
• absence of a partner or recent separation from him;
• fear in any variations;
• self-dislike.

Let's look at one of the reasons using a specific example.

In my third year, I found the strength in myself and enrolled in a theater club. At the rehearsal, it seemed to me that everyone was mocking me, images of monsters and monstrosities loomed in my head.

When it was time to join groups, I hid in a corner and thought that none of the guys would offer to join them. My thoughts became darker and darker, I considered myself an ugly person who had no talents or abilities. And in less than a minute I concluded that I hated myself.

And when self-dislike had already eaten me up from the inside, two girls approached with an offer to join them. And then I burst into tears... I just couldn’t stand the internal pressure. After that, I no longer came to rehearsals, quit the activity that I really liked, for which I began to hate myself even more.

Developing self-confidence

In a good way, an arrogant and self-confident person who is not afraid to take responsibility and realizes that he is stronger than circumstances has a much easier life than someone who is captive of fear. Confidence allows you to do bold things . Its development will require a lot of effort, time and self-discipline, but the game is worth the candle.

Modern books on psychology contain many recommendations that allow you to become a fearless person, capable of moving forward in spite of difficulties. In particular, they talk about the importance of faking confidence until it becomes an integral part of character. You can try to deceive your mind by pretending to be a brave daredevil. For example, invite the girl you like on a date, promising yourself not to worry if she refuses.

As soon as you manage to cope with fear, you should consolidate your success with encouragement. It can be expressed both in a material reward (a favorite dish, a bottle of expensive alcohol) and intangible (a visit to the cinema, a country holiday).

Under no circumstances should you allow failures and internal limitations to dictate your terms. Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. It is unlikely that you will be able to become a courageous person without hitting the big time, so you should not be afraid of failures on the path to gaining courage.

Accept Possible Defeat

This has nothing to do with phobias, but rather with martial arts. The one who does nothing makes no mistakes. The one who doesn't play doesn't lose. The one who sits at home under the covers is not afraid. But these are all erroneous conclusions.

1. In the first case, a person makes the main mistake - he does not live, but exists.
2. In the second, the person initially loses to everyone.
3. In the third, cowardice will find you even under the blanket. The first and sixth points seem to contradict each other, but they are in one bundle.

You set yourself up to be positive and said that tomorrow you will win the fight/competition/tournament. Then they imagined defeat. What after that? Nothing, actually. There will be another tournament, you will gain experience and will definitely tear everyone apart.

After defeat, your life will remain the same as it was: family, friends, work, hobbies, and much more. You will not lose anything, in the worst case, you will not receive a bonus.

Leaving your comfort zone

Giving up your usual lifestyle may be anxiety-provoking at first, but it will give you the opportunity to rise above your fears. Performing new actions teaches you to be calmer about surprises, which, in fact, give rise to doubts and fear. Learning how to overcome fear in a specific situation will enable you to demonstrate courage when faced with unexpected circumstances.

A reasonable move beyond the comfort zone into the territory of risk is a necessary condition for personal growth. You need to learn to remove fear when meeting something new. It's worth starting small . For example, approach a stranger on the street with a request.

Everyone has things they just can't do. One is unable to overcome himself and object to a leader whose radical demands run counter to his personal beliefs, the other is afraid to jump with a parachute, although he has long dreamed of it. Sometimes you can get rid of these fears, but sometimes you can’t.

There is clearly no point in over-reflecting on this matter. It happens that the reluctance to be bold is a manifestation of an adaptive model of behavior, when a person simply does not see the point in doing something that causes him fear. You should focus on developing courage in other situations. So, you can first discuss your views with a close friend, and only then express everything to your boss.

What is courage for?

It will be easier for you to work on becoming fearless if you are clear about why it is needed. I have compiled a list of positive changes that will happen in your life as you develop courage.

1. You will become the rightful master of your life and will make decisions without regard to the opinions of others.
2. You will be able to increase your self-esteem and gain confidence.
3. Life options that were previously prohibited will become available to you. For example, express a point of view that is different from the generally accepted one, or wear an extravagant hairstyle.
4. Your goals will become more daring and ambitious. Excessive caution will disappear, and a tendency to take healthy risks will appear.
5. People around you will respect you and stop treating you with disdain. The sympathy of the opposite sex will increase.
6. You will become calmer, balanced and energetic. As you know, fear takes a lot of energy.
7. You will be able to confidently defend your interests and stop being afraid of conflicts.

And these are not all the benefits that courage gives its owner. I suggest you become my co-authors for a moment and add a few more points in the comments. Let's help each other find motivation for change.

Useful advice from psychologists

Courage is a quality that needs to be developed and constantly maintained, no matter how hard it may be. To go through this difficult path, you should adhere to the following recommendations:

1. Get ready to work productively on yourself. Achieving the final goal without the right psychological attitude will be very problematic.
2. Believe in yourself. You need to stop paying attention to other people's opinions and listen to the advice of strangers. You need to learn a lesson from past mistakes and no longer dwell on past failures.
3. Don't avoid your fears. If a person is afraid to fly on an airplane, one should not ignore flights, but, on the contrary, one should strive to use the services of air carriers as often as possible. After some time, the fear will begin to weaken and then disappear altogether.
4. Learn to lose. There is nothing wrong with a person admitting and accepting his defeat. This time he was out of work, but next time fortune will definitely smile on him.
5. Expand your social circle. Establishing contacts with other people eliminates complexes and fears. A sociable person is always associated with courage.
6. Don't be afraid to take risks. A person who never takes risks, as a rule, lives a boring and monotonous life. Strengthening character and courage often occurs when actions associated with increased production of adrenaline are performed. Extreme activities such as rock climbing and surfing are suitable for this purpose.
7. Don't put things off for a long time. Nothing kills motivation more than endless promises of doing something next time. You need to act here and now, otherwise there may not be another chance to realize what you have planned in life. A brave person realizes his desires as soon as the opportunity looms before him.
8. Praise yourself. Any action that results in victory over fear should be rewarded.
9. Change your image. Confident people are not afraid of change. This applies not only to appearance, but also to life views.

It must be remembered that fear is a normal reaction to the surrounding reality, without which the human race could not survive. Being a daredevil who is not afraid to find himself in the midst of danger may be exciting, but it is extremely risky. Courage that does not go beyond common sense will help you become better and fill gray everyday life with bright colors.

What to avoid

To gain courage and self-confidence, follow three simple rules:

1. Don't allow yourself to think about a bad outcome. This is not the case, such thoughts are unproductive.
2. Don't think about past failures. These are the steps that will take you higher. Remember about 801 failed attempts. Failures are steps towards your dreams. One of the following steps will be successful.
3. Don't listen to those who say you won't succeed. It's worth listening to the person. Ask why he thinks this way. If the arguments are valid, accept the information with gratitude and analyze it to avoid mistakes. You can do it.

Do not allow yourself to remain within the same framework where fears and anxieties drove you. Feel free to go beyond the limits. Break your own inhibitions to become different from within.

Changing your social circle

Every day a person interacts with dozens of other members of society. Even if someone thinks about how to become more decisive, his intentions will clash with the intentions of other people. You need to be prepared for this. Everyone’s behavior forms the habit of those around him to perceive him that way. Changing habitual behavior disrupts other people's expectations. Some will like the new status, others will not.

As you change yourself, you will have to change your social circle. This happens naturally when people diverge in goals and cease to understand each other.

When consciously adjusting your personality, it is useful to change your environment yourself. Communication with successful, active, positive and courageous people is the strongest motivating factor. In addition, people you want to be like are great examples. You should not resort to imitation, but in patterns of behavior and forms of thinking you can find useful ideas for implementation on your development path.

It is worth paying attention to the quality component of communication. Speaking your own opinion builds self-confidence

A clearly and loudly voiced opinion makes it clear to others that in front of them is a confident person who is able to defend his point of view.

Change your look

According to psychologists, brave people are not afraid of any changes. Being conservative today is not accepted. Therefore, those who are interested in how to become bold can be recommended to change their image. You can start with your hairstyle and clothing style. If you feel comfortable in your new look, then you are on the right track. It is possible that you will encounter rejection of the new by those around you. However, these are not your problems, but the people who are accustomed to your old image. Do what you think is right and don’t follow the lead of others. Over time, they will get used to it, and you will notice that their attitude towards you will most likely improve for the better.

Know how to say “no”

Remember that you don't owe anything to anyone. Let's say if someone asks you to do something that is contrary to your wishes and morals, refuse. Learn to say a firm “no”, this will prove your individuality and courage. And the best answer to the question is: “Why?” - answer truthfully, without resorting to lies, but also without making excuses. You must teach others to respect your desires and feelings, and then you will achieve a lot. Often, such requests are exactly what brave people are afraid of. After all, sometimes it can be very difficult to refuse a loved one, even if his desire contradicts all accepted norms.

Persistence and determination

Willpower is completely connected with the ability to decisively accept life's shocks. To improve your situation, you must develop persistence. To do this, you need to consider a number of tips.

If you want your child to grow up with good qualities and a strong character, it is necessary to give your child the opportunity to take initiative from early childhood. In the future, he will persistently solve problems, without a burden on his shoulders.

Learn to find a way out on your own. By adopting certain methods to achieve a goal, determination and perseverance are generated automatically. As a result, your character will be strengthened, and these qualities will make your life much easier.

It is very important to be successful in the decisions you make. Therefore, you should first set yourself simple tasks.

The right attitude

What's the first thing you need to do to become brave? According to experts, first you need to get the right mindset. According to research results, it turned out that 90 percent of a positive result depends on our expectations and attitude, and everything else depends on skills and abilities. Judging by the reviews, this work is not for one day. It will take several months, or even years, to gain courage. Focus on what is important to you. When doubts and fears arise, it will be easier for you to cope with them. The main thing is to believe in yourself and your strength.

Answer

And remember, son, if you are not a universal laughing stock, overgrown with legends and a bad reputation, then no one will send you. Do you think that virgins are so self-confident that they will laugh in the face of everyone who dares to meet them? If you don't babble something incoherent and talk like a child in a junior nursery, then no one will laugh. At most, he will answer coldly. To do this, you need, of course, to interest the girl. Again, click on those red words and a magical tab will open with detailed instructions on how to do this.

And in order not to be afraid, remember the words of the brilliant sage who said that our whole life is a game. But we live in a high-tech world, and we have games on computers and consoles. And these games have one great feature - the ability to replay a failed mission. Therefore, treat life the same way: if you fail, there is always a second chance. I refused, I couldn’t interest you - work on your mistakes, on your speech and try again. Not necessarily with the same girl, there are others. Being a virgin at 20 is not shameful. The main thing is don’t turn your life into Bloodborne, that is, don’t complicate it. Treat it more simply, like when playing Call of Duty. According to our observations, life is always on the side of those who don’t particularly care - when you meet, your tension will only repel you.

It is precisely this relaxed attitude that will make you more confident and courageous. By the way, there are red letters again, click on it - there is an excellent article there. If you treat life like a dream that can always be interrupted by waking up, then life becomes less scary. Besides, understand that no one will laugh at you if things don’t work out. This was done only in kindergartens. If you follow our instructions and show your best side, then there will be no problems.

What it is

Decisiveness is a natural state. It is necessary every second to get out of different situations, as well as to make decisions. Fear and uncertainty often block this quality. A person is lost, worried, and cannot gather his thoughts together. After which panic and disturbance of the nervous system appear.

A decisive person is always self-confident, able to show perseverance, and the ability to make decisions. Such people have no fear. Anyone can have determination. You need to learn to trust your intuition, be independent and responsible.