Development of communication skills

Social networks, computer games, interactive chats and a variety of instant messengers that allow people to communicate simply by clicking on the sensors of their gadgets - just a few decades ago, all this might have seemed like science fiction. But today this is our reality, and such things will no longer surprise anyone. Undoubtedly, the development of technology significantly and many times improves human life, making it more comfortable, convenient, and simpler. But at the same time, this medal also has a downside.

All our acquaintances, friends and colleagues can easily be placed in a small contact window, dialogues, business and intimate conversations take the form of chats, and emotions are expressed with colorful emoticons. And at the same time, for us, and especially for the younger generation, the problem of socialization is becoming increasingly relevant, and more specifically, the problem of developing communication skills, i.e. developing communication skills - real interaction with other people.

Stool syndrome

A person is included in communication with his own kind from the moment of birth. Therefore, all our basic communication skills are formed at a “preconscious” age. Our usual methods of communication are very quickly automated and become stereotyped. And over the years, it may turn out that the skills formed in childhood “lag behind” and do not correspond to new communicative tasks and situations of adult life.

Here's a simple example. One of the basic communication skills is self-presentation - introducing yourself to your communication partner(s). Self-presentation involves measured and selective self-disclosure

That is, it is important not to dump all the shocking details about “your loved one” on your interlocutors, but to provide exactly as much information as is necessary to form a positive impression of you and (most importantly!) to achieve the goal of communication

Now imagine, say, the boy Vasya, who grew up with “stool syndrome.” “Stool syndrome” (this is a comic name, not a scientific term) occurs in children whose parents in every possible way cultivate their giftedness (even if it is actually absent) and demonstrate it to others. If guests come to such a family, the parents immediately loudly announce: “And now our Vasenka will read a poem / play the violin / sing!” After which Vasenka finds herself in the center of everyone’s attention (she stands on a real or hypothetical stool) and demonstrates her talents to everyone.

Gradually, the child develops the following attitude: “I must begin communication by demonstrating my talents, I must delight everyone and be the center of everyone’s attention.” How useful do you think such a communication skill would be during, say, important business negotiations? Surely you are familiar with similar characters who, instead of focusing on the matter at hand, “pull the blanket over themselves”

They are ready to do anything, even disrupt negotiations, just to draw attention to their person. Such people do not possess the skill of self-presentation at a conscious level, stereotypically reproducing the “stool syndrome” formed in childhood.

8 Basic Communication Skills:

Orientation in a communication situation (including understanding of goals, roles, motivation of participants).
Establishing contact, starting communication (and a symmetrical skill - ending communication).
Self-presentation.
Receiving information from the interlocutor (active and passive listening, using questions, reading “body language”, etc.).
Providing information (presentation).
Emotional regulation and self-regulation.
Psychological influence (persuasion, suggestion) and resistance to influence.
Providing feedback.

Of course, there are also more complex communication skills, such as those related to negotiations or public speaking in front of a large audience. But without sufficient mastery of basic communication skills, mastering higher-level skills/abilities will be problematic.

Listening skills

What makes up successful communication? In my opinion, the most important thing is the ability to listen. The key to the success of any customer service project is to understand the customer's original need. Your interlocutor does not always know exactly what he wants. Moreover, he can clearly articulate something completely different. And if you don't get to the bottom of it by asking the right questions, your brilliant solution may end up answering a need that isn't what the customer really cares about.

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You need to listen and hear. I learned this lesson very well early in my career. A senior partner took me to my first meeting with the CEO of a large company. I was very nervous as I prepared to show our beautiful slides to a potential client and hear their opinion. But a colleague on the road flipped my script: now we are going not to talk, but to listen. When you are young, this is more difficult - pauses during a meeting seem too uncomfortable, you want to fill the information space, immediately express some smart ideas, and make an impression. The ability to naturally create an opportunity for your interlocutor to speak freely comes with experience. I have noticed more than once that more self-confident people are ready to listen, to dialogue based on monologues.

Improving your communication skills

If you previously thought that becoming one of those with brilliant communication skills was difficult, then you were very, very wrong. In fact, any problem has its own solution, often quite simple, if only you had the desire to look for it.

Know how to set specific communication tasks in relation to your partners

Are you striving for conscious and effective communication? Choose suitable emotionally motivating tasks. The fact is that it is much easier to influence any person through his emotional sphere.

Of course, you shouldn’t show your emotions too violently, it may not show you from the best side, but the ability to establish emotional contact has always been the main characteristic of the best communicators. Therefore, determine what kind of result you want to get from the conversation and decide on the right emotions.

Learn to ignore psychological barriers

Internal barriers arise in the process of communication quite often, and everything would be fine, but they are one of the main obstacles to fruitful communication

But so that nothing bothers you, concentrate on what is important to you during the communication process

Know how to manage the communication process

Forget for a while about logical steps in communication - if you are constantly busy calculating the need for this or that action, then you simply will not have time left to achieve the goal that you have set for yourself.

Of course, you are unlikely to be able to “feel” the communication the first time; at first you simply cannot do without training. But then you will be able to understand the mood of your interlocutor without any problems and figure out whether he is making contact with you.

Know how to be charming

Of course, you have more than once encountered people who, without any problems, get everything they need from communication, and all thanks to charisma. You don’t need to think that charisma is an exclusively innate quality, it is quite possible to develop it, for this you should allow your imagination to take flight and free your inner life.

Know how to remove psychophysical clamps

Constrained or overly loose body movements will immediately signal to your interlocutor that you also have psychophysical constraints. He may not be able to clearly identify the nature of your condition, but he will immediately understand that something is wrong with you. Accordingly, the success of your communication will be in big question. So relax and, of course, train.

Tips for Improving Your Nonverbal Cues

Use those nonverbal cues that reflect the essence of your words.
Nonverbal communication should support verbal communication without contradicting it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you are being deceitful. For example, you may not be able to say “yes” while shaking your head in denial. Tailor your nonverbal cues based on the context of the conversation and the setting. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when speaking to a child than when speaking to a group of adults. Also, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you are communicating with.

Use body language to express positive emotions, even if you don't actually feel them. If you're nervous about a situation—a job interview, an important presentation, or a first date, for example—you can show confidence, even if you don't actually feel that way, through positive body language. Instead of hesitantly walking into a room with your head down, looking away and squeezing into your chair, try straightening your shoulders and standing with your head held high, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and giving the person you're talking with a firm handshake. This will make you more confident and help put the other person at ease.

Books on developing communication skills

Patrick King “How to Improve Your Communication Skills” is a best-selling book from an American director and screenwriter that will help you improve your communication skills and change toxic destructive attitudes and habits when communicating with other people. Other useful books on developing communication skills:

“How to Talk to Anyone” by M. Rhodes. Many people have difficulties when communicating: fear of starting a conversation, lack of confidence and low self-esteem. The author pays great attention to overcoming all these psychological barriers in oneself. “I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation techniques" M Goulston. Speaking beautifully and convincingly in order to attract the attention of your interlocutor is an art, and the ability to listen is aerobatics. People love to be listened to and are grateful when their interlocutor listens to them sincerely and with interest, and in return they will listen to you with great pleasure. “Secrets of communication. The magic of words" J. Borg. Very often a person in his speech uses words that “stick” to him and wander from conversation to conversation; by these words you can determine what kind of person is in front of you

It is important to start monitoring your speech and choosing the right words to communicate. The book contains many practical exercises. "Substantive conversation

The art of communication for those who want to get their way” S. Scott. The author teaches constructive communication skills and encourages you to give up empty chatter, during which time and energy are lost. “Never eat alone. And other rules of networking” K. Ferrazzi, T. Rez. The book was written for businessmen, but will be useful for reading by the general public. The author teaches how to develop an adult's communication skills and build constructive relationships with people around him using a proven step-by-step strategy.

Simple rules

Good communication skills can be developed even without any exercise or training. To do this, it is enough to adopt a few simple rules regarding communication with other people. However, everything is not so simple. You can achieve results only with willpower and strong endurance. If they are not there, then improving skills in this way will be extremely difficult.

The following rules must be followed:

Don't shy away from communication. Many unsociable people try to avoid conversations, but this should not be done under any circumstances. We need to overcome this desire.
Take the initiative. The attempts to avoid communication mentioned above should be replaced with the complete opposite and take the initiative to talk.
Avoid formal responses. There is no need to respond to questions formally or dryly. It would be much more correct to answer in detail and with interest.
Be an artistic person. Showing artistry evokes pleasant emotions in others and helps you communicate more openly with people.
Get a positive attitude. With a negative perception of the world, there is nothing surprising in the lack of communication. A positive attitude can change everything.
Enjoy the conversation. You need to learn to find the good in any conversation and get pleasant emotions from it, which will directly affect your skills.
Express friendliness. During a conversation, it is important to monitor your facial expressions and gestures so that they show an exclusively positive attitude towards the person.
Put away your mobile phone. Using a mobile device during a conversation for many will seem disrespectful and an indicative gesture against communication.
Always listen. If you listen well to your interlocutor, you will be able to fully understand the essence of the conversation, forget about your lack of communication skills, and also become more pleasant.
Show confidence. Developing self-confidence is an important part of communication skills. Without it, you won't be able to achieve any results.
Maintain sincerity. You should not invent fictitious stories and get confused in your own words. It is better to honestly admit ignorance of this or that fact.
Look into your eyes. During a conversation, it is very important to look into the eyes of your interlocutor. This will not only increase your connection, but will also boost your confidence.
Eliminate filler words. You need to remove absolutely all parasitic words and curse words from your vocabulary. Both attractiveness and communication skills depend on this.

Additionally, you can read various books to improve your communication skills. For example, “How to win friends and influence people” (D. Carnegie), “Never eat alone” (C. Ferrazzi) or “How to talk to anyone” (M. Rhodes).

Games that develop sociability.

joint games of children You can start developing communication skills in children from a very early age, when the baby is already able to express a response to what is happening. The simplest games can help with this, and favorite toys: bears, bunnies will be excellent helpers in developing a child’s communication skills. The simplest thing is to talk with the child on behalf of the doll. Having gotten used to such conversations, the baby will not shy away from communication. If there is an opportunity to play group games, then this will be an excellent incentive to develop liberation and, as a result, sociability. In such classes, children have the opportunity to communicate with each other in a playful way. Game “Getting Acquainted” Participants sit in a circle and take turns introducing themselves, with each next first repeating what the previous one said, adding their own introduction afterwards. For example: – I’m Katya, I have a favorite cat Musya, I like to play with her .– Katya has a favorite cat, Musya, she loves to play with her. My name is Dima, I like cars and transformers, my dad and I play together. – Katya has a cat, Musya, and she plays with her. Dima loves to play with cars and with dad. I'm Anya, my mother and I went to the zoo, and I liked the hippopotamus the most. This game not only helps develop communication skills, but also trains memory.

games with a child

Ability to remain calm

Do not hurry. If you speak quickly, you won't have time to say more. It’s better to slow down - this will give you the opportunity to find the right words and look more confident. Often, by the way, young employees who are quickly advancing in their careers at some point run into the fact that they are not taken seriously. They think it’s because of age, but it’s more likely a matter of behavior. When you twitch, fuss, and feel insecure, it all gives the impression of inexperience.

Of course, it is important to find the key to your interlocutor so that he trusts you. But people are very different. No matter how professional you are, purely by temperament it will be easier to communicate with some clients, and not so much with others. You may not be cheerful in a meeting, but it is important to be attentive to your interlocutor.

How to improve your skills

Completing specialized training will help you develop your communication skills, where practicing models of life situations, even in the event of an error, will not entail irreparable consequences, as happens in life. Professional mentors will help you learn how to resolve conflicts, develop persuasive speech, acquire effective self-presentation skills, and increase the credibility of your words.

In a group of like-minded people, there is an opportunity to creatively approach solving communication problems, test different ways of influencing the interlocutor, use different roles and play out necessary situations. The training course provides a range of techniques and exercises that can be applied in specific situations.

Once you get the first results from the methods in real life, move on to more complex and sophisticated communication options. To achieve greater efficiency, you can practice your communication skills in the company of friends and family.

What will the man of the future be like?

Photo: People photo created by rawpixel.com - www.freepik.com
In 2021, the President of the World Economic Forum in Davos, Klaus Schwab, announced the beginning of the Fourth Technological Revolution. Its result will be total robotization. To remain a sought-after specialist, a person of the future must:

solve complex problems;
think critically;
think creatively;
manage people;
work in a team;
recognize the emotions of colleagues and your own, control them;
form judgments and make decisions;
focus on the client and partner;
negotiate;
quickly switch from one task to another.

“The 4K System is now gaining popularity. Its concepts include critical thinking, creativity, communication and coordination. The last two points are closely related. The ability to negotiate, determine a common goal and ways to achieve it, distribute roles and evaluate the result is needed now. If you fail to find an approach to your interlocutor, you can easily lose a key partner.”

Healthy lifestyle

Everyone wants to be healthy. Right? For me, for example, the goal is not just to be healthy, but also to have enough energy. Plus look good.

Example. I played football for 11 years and then gave it up. My weight went from 65 to 86 kilograms in less than 9 months. I became fat. For anyone who once boasted great abs, this is frustrating. So I decided to do two things:

find a suitable diet that would help me return to a normal weight, and stick to it;
In addition to nutrition, exercise regularly.

It took me about a couple of years to find a suitable diet and sports activities to my liking. But now I am happy with my body, healthy and energetic during the day.

Ability to end a meeting

Every meeting should have a sense of progress, moving forward. Then you realize that there is a reason to continue communicating. It is always necessary to give meeting participants a clear understanding of what has been achieved, what will happen next, when, and who will take responsibility. There must be a clear understanding not only of the space where we are now, but also of how this stage relates to the whole, where the horizon for the end of further discussion is. As soon as there is uncertainty about the progress of your collaborative process, a feeling of dissatisfaction sets in after the meeting.

Finally, a valid tip for the success of any negotiation is to leave your phone alone. Otherwise, the interlocutor will never feel that the conversation is important to you and that you are serious.

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Maintain eye contact

Communication with our eyes is written deep into our genes. Two-day-old newborns prefer to look at faces rather than at toys or the ceiling. The brains of 4-month-old babies are more active if the baby looks into someone's eyes.

When the other person avoids eye contact, people think that he is insincere and less conscientious. And vice versa, we trust more the one who looks into the eyes.

But don't go too far. People consider staring too long a sign of aggressiveness and even psychopathy. Scientists have determined that you need to look into your eyes for no more than three seconds.

Trust is also influenced by the degree of pupil dilation - the wider they are, the more closeness you feel with your interlocutor. You are unable to consciously control your eye muscles. But you can make an appointment in a darkened room, and then the pupils will dilate automatically.

Ability to establish contact

There are people who like to talk about life before talking about business. Others, on the contrary, will consider you a frivolous partner for lyrical digressions. Some people immediately need an answer from you, and then the whole line of reasoning, while others will consider this a manifestation of arrogance. It is important at the first meeting not to get into trouble by guessing what type your interlocutor is. There is only one piece of advice - try to study its ecosystem. Some conclusions can definitely be drawn by noticing how he behaves, what kind of office he has - laconic or filled with gizmos. Your job is to understand how this person prefers to communicate. And adapt to his style (the younger one adapts to the older one, not vice versa, but in the case of a service business, the client is always the older one). This does not mean at all that you have to agree with him on everything, but in any case it is important for you to understand the point of view of your interlocutor and try to convincingly convey yours to him.

If the interlocutor insists on his point of view and does not hear yours, asking why he still thinks so helps - you give the person the opportunity, in the process of searching for arguments, to realize that there are other options. Such dialogue can be very effective.

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Category: Communication

In other languages:

English: Develop Good Communication Skills, Français: développer de bonnes aptitudes de communication, Italiano: Sviluppare Buone Capacità di Comunicazione, Español: desarrollar buenas habilidades de comunicación, Deutsch: Gute Kommunikationsfähigkeiten entwickeln, Português: Desenvolver Boas Habilidades de Comunica ção, Nederlands: Goede communicatievaardigheden ontwikkelen, 中文: 培养良好的沟通技巧, Bahasa Indonesia: Mengembangkan Kemampuan Komunikasi yang Baik, Čeština: Jak získat dobré komunikační dovednosti, Tiếng Việt: Phát triển K ỹ năng Giao tiếp Tốt, 한국어: 커뮤니케이션 잘하는 방법, हिन्दी: कम्युनिकेशन Communication Skills) by: by: by: by: by Name: コミュニケーション能力を高める, T ürkçe: İletişim Becerileri Nasıl Geliştirilir

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Examples of tests to assess communication skills

Below we provide 3 examples of situational tests to assess communication skills with an explanation of the answers.

The first example is a test for managers.

The second example is a test for office staff.

The third example is a test for a sales manager.

You can learn more about situational tests for all professional competencies in our special articles:

Psychological tests for employment and the qualities they test

Tests and assessments for sales managers

Psychological tests for managers

Psychometric testing for call center and customer service specialists

Emotional intelligence tests - what are they, examples, recommendations for solutions

Three Tools for Developing Communication Skills

Reflection

This is the ability to look at how you communicate, as if from the outside, and analyze it. Develop the habit of asking yourself questions (before, during and after communication): “Is it appropriate to start this conversation now? Is now a good time/place to talk? What mood/state is my interlocutor in? Is he emotionally/morally ready for this conversation? Who is my interlocutor? What does he want from this conversation with me?” (and so on.). Here are reflective questions for the skill of orientation in a communication situation, but they can be formulated in a similar way to improve other communication skills.

Feedback

Popular wisdom rightly says: “You can see a straw in someone else’s eye, but you cannot see a log in your own.” There may indeed be “blind spots” in our reflection; we may not notice some weaknesses in our communication. Therefore, a good solution may be help from external observers, who can be asked: “Which of my remarks/actions/behavior in this communication situation were unsuccessful? What did I do wrong? If you trust the observer, then you can ask him for advice on how to improve your communication skills in such situations.

Experiments

Try to at least slightly change your usual (pattern) behavior in communication and see what happens. Don't try to change everything at once, try at least one simple change. For example, in the above example with the “running by” manager, we agreed that he would make at least three stops, during which he would communicate with employees.

Teenagers (who, as we remember, find it difficult to navigate communication situations due to their little experience) were greatly helped by learning one simple technique: “question plus announcement.” Its essence is that before starting any conversation, you just need to ask your interlocutor: “Is it convenient for you to discuss here and now?” – then briefly outline (announce) the topic and purpose of the conversation.

If you are sure that your skills are not sufficiently developed, attending a training session, which is usually called that way (“basic communication skills”, “development of communication skills”, etc.), will help. But even if it is not possible to attend such a training, approach any conversation consciously, use the three tools described above (reflection, feedback, experiments), and you will certainly be able to communicate better.

This will help you get a job and earn more

The ability to communicate is one of the most important skills in the job market. It is necessary for mutual understanding in the team, so employers pay special attention to it.

In one study, T. G. Weldy, M. L. Icenogle. A managerial perspective: Oral communication competency is most important for business students in the workplace Jeanne D. Maes / The Journal of Business Communication managers were asked to evaluate the shortcomings of candidates during an interview. Poor communication skills came first. By developing them, you will increase your chances of getting a good job with a high salary. This is especially important for university graduates who do not yet have enough other skills.

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How to develop organizational skills

Since anyone can become an organizer, the question of how to do this is relevant. I suggest a few simple rules:

Organization begins with oneself (self-organization). Learn to organize your own activities, everyday life and your whole life. Make it a rule to make a daily plan, keep a diary, allocate time, set goals, tasks and always fulfill them. Do something right now that you haven’t gotten around to.
Develop empathy, the ability to understand another person, respect for the interests of other people, healthy altruism.
Master and practice positive thinking.
Improve yourself regularly. Adjust your self-esteem, get rid of uncertainty, fear of communication and other problems that you have. All internal barriers must be destroyed.
Develop your creativity.
Expand your horizons.
Train practical thinking, that is, look at the world realistically. Set realistic goals, don't get carried away by dreams.
Be ambitious.

It is important to know well not only your own characteristics, but also to understand the psychology of other people. Correctly distributing responsibilities, taking into account the needs, interests, temperament, character and other characteristics of the participants is the main task of the organizer

Tips to help you better interpret nonverbal communication

Keep in mind that everyone has their own individual characteristics.
People from different countries and cultures tend to use different non-verbal communication gestures, so when analyzing body language it is very important to take into account the person's age, cultural background, religion, gender and emotional state. An American teenager, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, may use nonverbal cues differently. Analyze nonverbal signals comprehensively. Don't look for too much meaning in one gesture or nonverbal signal. Consider all nonverbal cues you receive, from eye contact to tone of communication and body movement. Anyone can sometimes make a mistake and look away, for example, and let the eye contact slide, for example, or briefly cross their arms, without implying anything negative. To better understand a person's true thoughts, analyze his nonverbal signals comprehensively.

Causes of communication difficulties in a child:

child's isolation

Restriction of freedom, control and hypertrophied assistance deprives the child of individuality and determination to find communication on his own. Frequent changes of environment and moving force the child to re-establish contacts each time. A somewhat stressful situation is created, which can also reduce the level of communication skills. Children model the behavior of adults, and it is likely that among their circle of friends there will be those who will negatively influence the child’s behavior

In such a situation, it is important to be correct and gently convey to the child what is good and what is bad. A large number of prohibitions is also not good for communication skills and the relationship between parent and child in general; if possible, it is necessary to reduce the level of prohibitions and expand the child’s boundaries of freedom. Being isolated on one's own shortcomings makes the child closed to communication; it is worth helping him to relate to himself more easily.

What is the difference between sociability and communication skills?

Often confusion in meaning turns the terms themselves into a mystery. Communication skills are one of the components of sociability and contact as such. This is not an innate, but an acquired skill that can not only be developed, but also improved throughout life.

Communication is the ability to convey information, feelings, emotions, conclusions in an accessible, correct form. It is also the ability to perceive information, experience empathy for the interlocutor, the ability to understand and empathize.

The concept itself is not always a human skill. Communicativeness as a quality can characterize any tool that transmits and receives information.

Communication is a set of qualities such as:

Non-verbal communication;
Managing emotions, anger;
Active listening;
Understanding your opponent's emotions;
Ability to express and defend your point of view.

Communication as a personality quality cannot be perceived only as a set of skills; this skill is directly related to the segment of needs and motivation.

Situational blindness

The author of these lines relatively recently conducted a seminar for school psychologists, where he asked specialists to assess which communication skills are worst developed in modern teenagers. The range of assessments turned out to be quite large, but psychologists agreed that the skill of orientation in a communication situation was the worst developed. The deficiency of this skill manifests itself in the inability to choose the appropriate time and place of communication. The conversation turns out to be inappropriate, ineffective (the goals of the participants are not achieved) and unpleasant (provokes negative emotions).

The inability of adolescents to navigate a communication situation is primarily due to their limited social experience. They really do not have enough knowledge to understand the motives and goals of other participants in communication, predict the duration of the conversation, and assess the relevance of the topic being discussed at a given time and place. But such “situational blindness” is not limited to teenagers.

I had the opportunity to advise a manager who was faced with stubborn resistance from the team (“I give them instructions, set tasks, but they constantly disrupt their implementation!”). He had a habit of running quickly around the office, shouting orders as he went. It seemed to him that this was enough and that employees should literally “catch on the fly” his instructions.

In fact, he simply perceived the situation incorrectly

Many employees simply did not have time to switch their attention from their work to the fast pace of the boss, and literally did not hear what he was telling them. Secondly, many employees simply did not understand to whom exactly the phrase thrown into the air was addressed

Thirdly, people already had previously assigned work tasks, and the priority of the new “introduction” was unclear to them (and there was no opportunity to ask a clarifying question in the back of the fleeing boss).

Setting a task is not just a phrase thrown out on the run; it is a rather complex management and communication skill. And the first rule for this skill: create or select a situation suitable for setting the task.

An “appropriate” situation is one where nothing distracts the participants’ attention from discussing the task and they can fully focus their attention on the dialogue. The situation should create an opportunity for high-quality contact between participants in communication

In addition, in order for a task to be accepted for execution (and not just set), the situation must provide an opportunity to receive feedback from the performer. How can you focus attention, discuss something, give feedback (etc.), if the manager flies by like a bullet?

The ability to be sincere

I am a supporter of the theory that a person cannot be strong in everything and you should not go against your nature by trying to develop everything at once. It is important to know your natural strengths, which can compensate for your inherent weaknesses. If a person is an introvert, he should not try to be a “lighter”. It may be worth choosing a different conversation format - for example, one on one. You need to determine what you naturally do best and build the foundation of your communication with the client on this.

Development of communication skills, socialization and cognition of preschoolers

From an early age, socialization and communication skills are developed through play activities. This is due to the fact that play is the main method of children's cognition.

The simplest game for developing communication skills is a conversation on behalf of a doll or toy, or maybe a pet. This technique allows you to get used to conversations, which in the future will contribute to freer communication with people. You can include a pet in the dialogue. You can start the game by asking a question, for example, what age are the kittens, puppy or parrot.

Collective games also contribute to the development of communication skills. In the process of such collective activity, the little ones have the opportunity to communicate lively with each other in play activities.

The development of communication skills can occur in conjunction with training other abilities, such as memory. The game “Getting Acquainted” was developed for this purpose. To organize such a gaming activity, all participants must be seated in a circle. Then each person takes turns introducing themselves and briefly talking about their interests. Each subsequent player must first repeat the speech of the previous baby, and then pronounce his own. Such games develop communication skills by organizing a space in which everyone can talk about themselves in a calm atmosphere, as well as listen to other children.

Children's communication skills: how to determine?

At a certain age, the baby must have certain communication skills. Therefore, to determine the degree of sociability, parents need to compare their child and the generalized characteristics presented below. At the age of 2 to 3 years, sociability signs appear in the following:

the ability to attract people's attention;
initiating social interaction with peers verbally and physically;
the ability to listen to another person's speech;
conducting a conversation when it is your turn;
reacting with laughter to absurd objects or phenomena.
3-4 year olds should:
strictly observe the order during the game;
perceive toys or dolls as living beings;
Be the initiator of verbal interaction.
At the age of 4-5 years, babies most often:
know how to communicate with other children;
apply direct demands in communication, for example, “Stop it”;
present themselves as parents during play activities;
They start gossiping and sneaking around.

Signs of communication skills in children over 5 years old

At the age of 5-6 years, sociable personalities are manifested through:

ability to develop a strategic approach to conversations;
participation in competitive games based on competition;
introducing the concept of “fair play” into gaming activities;
awareness of one’s own behavior, the use of words “sorry”, “thank you”, “please”;
bringing joy to your own friends.

Guys aged 6 to 7 years:

learn to sympathize and empathize with the people around them;
more often share their experiences with others, while they use not only words, but also gestures and postures;
clearly expect their turn;
listen to other people's opinions and then analyze their solidarity with them;
know how to end a conversation;
They joke more, learn to lose and be happy for the winner.

It is worth considering that up to the age of 7 years, children have difficulty distinguishing the difference between good and bad, as a result of which they are often unable to independently determine the right direction or make the right decision. Therefore, parents are obliged not only to develop communication skills in their child, but also to explain to him how to act well and how to act badly. Only with such an integrated approach will a child be able to grow into a socialized, communicative personality.

This video contains discussions about how to develop a child from birth and is it necessary? Be sure to leave your questions, suggestions and comments on the article.

Communication skills in children

The period of childhood is of greatest importance for a person in terms of the development of mental abilities and communication skills. In the first years of life, a child acquires his first distinctive features, his character begins to form, and his own tastes appear. In kindergarten and junior grades, communication skills develop especially actively, after which they become fully formed.

In order for a child to fully communicate, parents must adhere to a number of recommendations aimed at developing communication skills. They are quite simple, but are overlooked by many adults. What exactly needs to be done:

Set the right example, communicate in front of the child;
Ask your child questions more often, which is especially important for elementary school students;
Discuss all your actions with your child, explain their essence;
Encourage the preschooler to communicate with peers;
Teach your child to express thoughts verbally and in writing;
Ask the baby to show desires verbally and not non-verbally;
Teach the child politeness, understanding, empathy;
React calmly to conflicts;
Do not scold a student in public, because the teenager may feel humiliated;
Explain to the child that all people have their own interests that should be taken into account;
Try to maintain your child’s high self-esteem and avoid harsh criticism.

Additionally, it is recommended to play different games with your child. For example, “The sea is agitated once.” You can also ask him to portray his favorite character from fairy tales or to get used to the role of the savior of the Princess Nesmeyana, trying to make her laugh.

Sometimes children who do not have sufficient communication skills end up being retarded or suffering from certain diseases.

Games

A good way to achieve high communication skills is through game-based training. They help each participant to open up to other people, feel free and completely relax. In such conditions, it is easiest to develop communication skills. Some games can even be used at home for joint training between parents and children.

How to play:

Repetitions. The game involves at least 5 people. One of them becomes the leader and shows the others certain movements (claps of palms, hand movements, etc.), voicing each of them. Everyone must repeat. To make it more difficult, the presenter can name something other than the action he is performing, and the participants must correctly orient themselves and repeat exactly what was said.
Guessing emotions. To play you need to split into 2 teams. All participants in the first group take turns showing different emotions that need to be drawn from a deck of special cards, and the second group must guess them. Then the teams change roles.
Theatrical scenes. You can play together, and the goal will be to role-play a situation. You can come up with absolutely any events, but they must suit both participants. It is advisable to act out scenes of various conflicts until they are completely resolved.
Origami. The game requires the presence of several participants. They all close their eyes, holding an A4 sheet of paper in their hands. The presenter gives instructions on exactly how to fold the sheet, and he should ask several times to tear it. At the end, you need to compare the results of everyone present.

Such simple games will perfectly help you achieve your goal. However, you should not expect that their use alone will be sufficient. They are best used as an additional measure or the first stage of skill development.

Exercises

You can also develop your communication skills with the help of special exercises. Most of them require the presence of one or more interlocutors, which is very important when improving communication skills. It is recommended to perform them every day. It may seem difficult at first, because... It is extremely difficult to develop communication skills. This is especially true for adults who have long accepted their unsociability.

What exercises should you use:

Visualization. The essence of the exercise will be to mentally imagine communicating with another person. The interlocutor should be a real acquaintance, and not a fictional character, which is important to consider. During the presented dialogue, you need to carefully monitor your movements, highlight the features of timbre and speed of speech at different moments, and also identify for yourself the strengths and weaknesses of this conversation.
Communication with the mirror. A very simple technique for developing communication skills with charm, which is used by many successful people. After several weeks of training, you will be able to convey your emotions and thoughts more correctly, as well as speak beautifully. To perform the exercise, you just need to stand in front of the mirror and alternately show different emotions, as well as talk to yourself.
Fulfillment of desires. This exercise can only be performed in pairs with another person, and it is advisable to do it in both directions. One person writes his desire on a piece of paper and, without talking about it, tries to explain to the second participant what exactly he wants. It is recommended to choose a desire so that some active action is required from the partner to fulfill it.
Conversation in songs. For training you will need to divide into 2 equal teams of 1 to 5 people. The essence of the exercise is that the first group asks a question, which is a line from a song, and the second answers it, also part of any musical composition. This must be done one at a time, and no more than 30 seconds are given to think about the answer.
Exit from the circle. One person stands in the center of a circle consisting of other participants. He must remain there, and the goal of other people will be to lure him out by any means of persuasion. It is recommended to film everything on video in order to then analyze the behavior of the main participant.
Let's talk cleanly. You can perform the exercise within a whole group of participants. It is desirable that they all have undeveloped communication skills. The essence of the method is to write your portrait on a piece of paper. You need to indicate your pros and cons regarding sociability, and then do the same analysis of other participants. When all the portraits are ready, you will need to compare your personal view of yourself with the opinion of all other participants.
Completing sentences. Classes of this type can be held regularly and only require the presence of a few people. Four people should stand next to each other, and their goal will be to create a story. The first participant begins each sentence, cutting off after a couple of words, and the other three alternately add several phrases to it, completing it. The result should be an interesting story, which is recommended to be discussed together.

There are other exercises that can help improve your communication skills. They are very often used in groups, which are created so that strangers can meet and practice in a pleasant atmosphere, improving their abilities. Sometimes a couple of such activities are enough to open yourself up and get rid of stiffness.

The famous orator Demosthenes spoke with his mouth full of stones. He considered this the best way to develop communication skills, speech quality and self-confidence.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken and signed speech developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding more difficult, and effective communication is becoming a separate object of study.

The communication process includes five elements:

A communicator is someone who conveys information.
Contents of the message.
The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).
The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.
The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Habit 3: Stay in control

To communicate effectively, you need to be aware of your emotions and control them.
And this means learning to cope with stress. When you are nervous or unable to cope with your emotions, you are likely to misperceive other people, send confusing or intimidating nonverbal signals, and begin to act like an unstable, mentally ill person. How many times have you experienced a disagreement with your spouse, children, boss, friends or co-workers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly de-stress and calm down, not only will you not have to regret it later, but in many cases you will help the other person cool down as well. Only when you are in a calm, relaxed state will you be able to understand whether you need to respond in this situation or whether it is better to remain silent, as indicated by the behavior of the other person.

In situations such as a job interview, a business presentation, a stressful meeting, or introducing a loved one to family, for example, it is important to manage your emotions, think on your feet, and communicate effectively under pressure. These tips may help:

Effective Communication Techniques

Any person lives in society and is dependent on it. Even the most desperate homebodies, perhaps not directly, but enter into interpersonal relationships. Effective communication will be useful both for work and for everyday social connections. Communication techniques and skills can be developed and improved - this will make anyone's life much easier.

Do you want to receive positivity in the process of communication? It will be useful for you to learn some techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication:

Learn to listen carefully to what they say. You should not just look at the interlocutor during a conversation, but also bend slightly, nod your head, and ask appropriate leading questions. This technique will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s point of view as accurately as possible.
Be clear, concise and to the point. The more clearly a thought is formulated, the more likely it is that it will be understood and perceived correctly.
Include in your arsenal not only verbal, but also non-verbal communication. Take the same position as the interlocutor, try to use only open gestures, and do not touch your face during the conversation.
Watch for the emotional coloring of speech. It should be moderate, but so much so that the interlocutor understands your interest in the issue.
Master the techniques of oratory. The ability to master your voice allows you to accelerate the development of effective communication. Clear articulation, correct timbre and adjusted volume will make any message positive.
Master technical means of communication. Any adult must be able to use the telephone, fax, Skype, and email. Written communication skills should be developed regularly.

These are just basic techniques designed to facilitate and improve interpersonal communication.

Habit 4: Be Confident

Openness and self-confidence help build clear rapport, as well as improve self-esteem and make decision-making easier for you.
Being confident means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly while being able to stand up for yourself and respect others. This does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or picky. Effective communication is about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or pushing your opinion on others. To increase self-confidence:

Value yourself and your abilities. They are just as important as someone else's.
Know your needs and desires. Learn to express them without violating the rights of others.
Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It's okay to be angry, but you also need to show respect for others.
Take comments towards you positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes, ask for help when you need it.
Learn to say no. Know the limits of your patience and don't let others take advantage of you. Look for a way out of the situation so that everyone is happy as a result.

It is much better not to believe in a person, but to be confident in him. Stanislav Jerzy Lec