How to be an easy woman? And in general, how to be an easy person in communication, life, in relationships with the opposite sex is a question that worries a lot of people. This question arises due to the fact that difficulties have arisen in communication and relationships. Misunderstandings and resentments arose. Maybe you've already ended your relationship... Maybe you're going through a divorce. Or, you feel intense loneliness. That is why you asked the question “How to be an easy person, an easy woman in communication and life?
What is human character
Translated from Greek, character is translated as “seal”, “minting”, that is, on the one hand, it is a distinctive sign, and on the other, something stable and inherent in a specific subject or object.
In psychology, character
is a set of persistent individual personality characteristics that determines the type of behavior and the form of relationships with other people.
Character traits, as personality traits, are as follows:
:
- its components have a long-term effect, stability, and do not change quickly and easily;
- character has practical significance; it determines a person’s actions in all spheres of life.
A person can show heroism, cowardice, be anxious, aggressive or soft, weak-willed. If such manifestations occur frequently and are clearly expressed externally, then they will say about the person: “He has such a character.”
When a kind-hearted and gentle person flares up under certain conditions and shows aggression, then those around him will not call it character; rather, they will attribute it to specific circumstances.
Knowledge of a person’s character allows one to predict his behavior and actions in various situations, as well as correct them if necessary. We always know in advance who we can turn to for help, with whom we are not afraid to enter into risky ventures: “He can’t do anything differently, that’s his character.”
Good morning magic
Have you asked those people who like to get up early what helps them to be so easy to get up early in the morning? For some it’s morning exercises, and for others it’s dousing with cold water. But whatever it is, the main thing is that early rises charge a person with energy for the whole day. And what fresh nature and clean air it is in the morning!
In conclusion, to summarize, we note that an easy-going person is someone who can easily and without much effort or requests go or go somewhere.
Character Traits: General Information
Not every feature of a person can be attributed to his stable, permanent character trait. We have already said that a good-natured person can lose his temper, and, for example, an optimist can fall into melancholy. But we will not describe the first as an aggressor, and the second as a whiner.
In psychology, there are three leading groups of character traits, which together constitute it.
1 group of traits - attitude towards oneself
This group includes both positive and negative characteristics that show the individual’s attitude towards himself and his self-awareness.
Character traits with a plus sign
- inner dignity, honor, pride, self-criticism, appropriate modesty, adequate self-esteem.
Traits with a minus sign
- vanity, inflated self-esteem and self-esteem, pride (not to be confused with pride), touchiness, shyness (not to be confused with modesty).
Group 2 – attitude towards others
Characteristics that show the basis of a person’s relationships with other people - in the family, in a team, in a circle of friends.
Character traits with a plus sign
- responsiveness, respect, communication, sensitivity, willingness to help, ability to work in a team, decency.
Traits with a minus sign
- callousness, contempt for others, snobbery, rudeness, neglect, isolation, callousness, individualism.
3rd group of traits – attitude to activity
This group combines character traits related to their business, profession, and work in general.
Character traits with a plus sign
- hard work, activity, responsibility, creativity, a penchant for creativity, initiative.
Traits with a minus sign
- laziness, procrastination, irresponsible attitude to business, lack of initiative, passivity.
Based on a sample of these characteristics, you can create a portrait of a person.
Features of human character formation
For a long time, philosophers believed that character is an innate human trait. That is, he is born with a certain set of qualities that do not change during the formation process. Today this view is not supported. It has been proven that character is formed throughout life and depends on upbringing, environment, entry into a certain social group, professional activity, etc.
For the first time, the idea of a significant influence on the character of external factors was expressed by the scientist D. Locke, who argued that psychophysical properties and upbringing influence the formation of character equally.
Modern science (last century) supports this hypothesis.
According to researchers, personality formation is influenced by
:
- labor education;
- personal example;
- physical education;
- self-development;
- moral and ethical education;
- correct formation of habits.
Regardless of age, the process of character formation is exposed to the influence of the information field, including the perception of the individual
:
- cultural values, ideology cultivated in society;
- personal example of people respected for a particular person;
- public opinion and common judgments in society;
- literature, television, cinema, theater.
A mature, thinking person can also correct his character. Thus, character formation occurs throughout life.
Three main factors influence its changes
:
- physiological (gender, temperament);
- social (education, culture, family, school, team);
- personal (self-development, self-education).
The first stage of character development is early infancy. At this level, it is very important to give the child love, care, and a lot of attention, since it is here that the emotional component is formed for the rest of his life.
Further personality development occurs in early preschool age. The child studies and copies the behavior patterns of adults nearby. Direct teaching with appropriate emotional reinforcement (praise) is important. It is at this age that such traits as kindness, responsiveness, and hard work are formed.
At primary school age, the main role is played by the assessment of the child’s actions and actions by adults, the concepts of “good” and “bad” are instilled. Character traits related to work appear: responsibility, punctuality.
Adolescents are actively developing moral and ethical standards and their volitional sphere. By the end of school, the character, as a rule, has already been formed; then it is only corrected.
The relationship between temperament and character
Character and temperament are often identified, but they are different concepts.
In psychology, different points of view have been expressed on this matter.
:
- both concepts are identical;
- temperament is a part, the core of character;
- two concepts are antagonists;
- temperament is the natural basis of character.
Temperament is more closely related to the properties of the human nervous system and is directly determined by them. Character is greatly influenced by society and upbringing. If character is subject to correction, then temperament is an innate property that remains with the individual for life.
The social environment in which an individual grew up and lives has a strong influence on character, while temperament remains unchanged. The content of a person’s actions depends on character, but only their manner and style depend on temperament.
Important: temperament cannot be assessed as “good” or “bad”, but character consists of those traits that can be regarded as positive or negative.
The type of temperament and character are connected and interact with each other in a single appearance of a person, forming an inseparable alloy - a characteristic of his individuality.
Be as easy as possible to live
To live comfortably, in peace, it is advisable to be as light as possible.
Regina Brett's famous conclusions:
- When it comes to chocolate, there is no point in resisting.
- Make peace with your past so that it does not spoil your present.
- It's never too late to have a happy childhood. However, a second childhood depends entirely on you.
- Don't save anything for a special occasion. This special occasion is today.
- In case of any so-called catastrophe, ask yourself the question: will it be so important in five years?
- It doesn’t matter whether the situation is good or bad – it will change.
- Don't take yourself seriously - a wise person doesn't do that.
If you look closely at these tips from Regina Brett, they all boil down to keeping it as light as possible. Not to suffer and torment that life is not fair, but to see it mostly as good.
What are the character types?
In psychology, there are several classifications of character types. One of the most famous is the typology proposed by the American psychoanalyst Alexander Lowen.
Character type | Its characteristics |
Oral | A person experiences a sharp change in mood and is highly dependent on others. Infantility, tendency to melancholy and depression, fear of rejection, low self-esteem. |
Masochistic | A person who loves to suffer has a very high sensitivity. There is intuition. They are not confident in themselves, they are closed. |
Hysterical | High level of ambition, ability to control behavior and actions. Arrogance, rational thinking. Developed emotions with the ability to contain them. |
Schizoid | Very low self-esteem, lack of control over emotions and their inadequacy. Affective disorders. |
Psychopathic | Desire to dominate, increased anxiety. The predominance of image issues over internal content. Preoccupation with control over circumstances. |
Narcissistic | Self-confidence, high ambitions. Aggressiveness, assertiveness, arrogance, tenacity. |
Also in psychology, individuals are divided into introverts (closed) and extroverts (sociable).
One more typology of characters can be identified
.
Character type | Its characteristics |
Hyperthymic | The person is very sociable, “talkative”, with pronounced facial expressions. Lots of initiative and energy, but loses his temper easily. |
Disthymic | Pessimists are introverts. They have a keen sense of justice and a very limited circle of friends. They make decisions hard and are slow. |
Excitable | They are power-hungry and love conflict situations. Very unpleasant to communicate with. When calm, they are attentive and pedantic; when excited, they are aggressive and irritable. |
Stuck | An arrogant person, loves to teach others, considers himself smart. Excessive demands on both yourself and other people |
Anxious | The personality is extremely insecure, afraid of disputes and conflicts. Looks for support everywhere. |
Demonstrative | Sociable, adaptable. Schemer. They can cause irritation due to their self-confidence. Born artists, boastful, hypocritical. |
Light woman - what is she like?
Let's say you firmly decided for yourself: to become and be an easy woman. But first, let's define it: an easy woman - what she is like in general.
The first and most important thing that distinguishes a light woman from a heavy one is that it is easy to communicate with her. You know this yourself.
But what is behind her ability to be easy to communicate with?
After all, it’s only at first glance that it seems that by chance she’s all so cheerful, everyone likes her. In fact, there is a peculiarity there. This feature lies in complete self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is the basic, most important characteristic of a girl, which can be easy. Can afford to be unloaded.
Self-acceptance means that the girl accepts herself:
1. Externally, with all its features. Overweight, if any. With what nature gave.
2. In addition, a woman is easy - she accepts her internal processes. Your feelings, emotions. She is, as they say, in contact with her inner world. This means that she knows how to distinguish between them, knows how to respect them.
In addition, she even knows how to stop, sit down, listen to herself, and allow herself to experience her feelings - what is happening inside her.
And, this is the difference between an easy and difficult woman - it is not visible from the outside just like the presence/absence of a good manicure. But the presence of this acceptance of oneself, one’s inner experiences, the ability to interact with them, one’s appearance plays a key role in the fact that a woman is light.
This is what makes her outwardly and behaviorally calm, imperturbable, and comfortable. And this is what helps her react easily to other people. React easily to life events and situations.
Psychological character of a person
Character is one of the components of the psychological portrait of a person. But it alone is not enough to form a full-fledged opinion about a person, which is necessary, for example, for hiring a responsible job or making an informed choice in your personal life.
At the same time, you need to determine the person’s temperament.
There are four in total
:
- sanguine
_ A person with a stable nervous system is quite mobile and balanced. The processes of excitation and inhibition of the nervous system quickly appear and also quickly decline. Optimistic, sociable. The downside is that they are capable of irresponsibility and frivolity. - choleric
_ A very mobile nervous system. It gets excited quickly, but cools down slowly. Extremely restless, always having to do something, energetic. Disadvantages: conflict-ridden, aggressive, hot-tempered. - phlegmatic
. The nervous system is very stable and balanced, but not dynamic. Cannot switch from one topic to another, does not work at “high speeds”. But the result will be impressive - everything is thought out to the smallest detail. Reliable, responsible. Disadvantages - clumsy, rather dry in communication. - melancholic
. The nervous system is very weak, vulnerable, impressionable. Soft, sensitive people. Cons: low performance, suspiciousness, isolation.
Individual abilities are considered as the third component within the psychological portrait
:
- general, formed under the influence of intelligence. This is mental flexibility, hard work, and the ability to adapt.
- special, appealing to a certain direction: to oneself personally, to communication, to completing a task.
To compile a psychological portrait, the following are also taken into account: intelligence, emotionality, feelings, communication skills, stress resistance, self-esteem.
Secrets of centenarians
How do centenarians differ from other people? What is their secret? All their lives they move a lot, walk a lot, they are said to be easy-going. This constant movement is their secret. Life is a continuous movement. Moreover, this is not only the work of the muscular system, it is the work of the whole organism. And the body is a single whole.
For experimental purposes, scientists kept rats in a sedentary state; as a result, they lived seven to eight months less than those that moved a lot. The simplest and most accessible method is walking: from work, to the store, up the stairs, walking before bed in the park area. But older people should remember that the loads should not be heavy for them. You need to be extremely careful about running at this age. You should remember the simplest things.
The best rest when tired is sleep. During active rest, the nature of the loads should be changed. But the most undesirable thing is overwork, which is the most unfavorable factor for longevity.
Social character of personality
The concept of social character was introduced into science by E. Fromm.
Social character of personality
is a set of traits that arises in people belonging to the same social group. Moreover, these special features appeared under the influence of common experiences and an identical lifestyle.
The psychologist has developed two types of social characters: unfruitful and fruitful.
Unfruitful
Type of social character | Its signs |
Receptive | Characterized by weakness of will, servility, low activity, cowardice. |
Operational | Ambition, a high level of aggression, egocentrism, and arrogance are inherent. |
Cumulative | Dominant signs: lack of creativity, causticity, stubbornness, possessive instinct, suspiciousness, |
Market | Characterized by such features as: lack of integrity, unprincipledness, low sense of purpose |
These types are called unfruitful because they are “takers”, believing that they can only receive benefits from the outside.
Fruitful type
This is a kind of humanistic ideal to which we need to strive. It is characterized by: reliance on one’s own strengths and their use both to receive benefits and to give to other people. A fruitful social character gives and does not receive; it is based on love, the highest degree of which is maternal love, which does not know selfishness.
Hidden and obvious accentuation of personality
Accentuation refers to the dominant personality traits, that is, some characteristics are moderately developed in us, while others are excessively developed.
As a result of accentuation (from the word “accent”, i.e. strengthening), the personality becomes disharmonious.
Strengthening individual traits
:
- cause a person’s vulnerability, are his weak point, “Achilles’ heel”;
- limits a person’s abilities in certain areas of activity.
For example, a personality with an accentuation of weak will can be used by people and is completely unsuitable for working in leadership positions.
Accentuation is not a psychological or mental deviation, but an extreme variant of the norm.
There are several reasons for this
:
- dominance of one trait is formed only at certain stages of development, and can be minimized with age;
- accentuation does not always appear, but only under certain circumstances;
- accentuation does not in any way prevent a person from adapting to society, with the exception of a number of restrictions that we mentioned above.
Depending on the dominance of one of the character traits, the following types are distinguished:
:
Type of accentuation | Characteristic |
Demonstrative | The desire to be in . Deliberate behavior, boasting. |
Pedantic | Caution, fear of change, thoroughness, thoughtfulness. |
Excitable | Very impulsive behavior. Lives by impulses, instincts, drives. |
Hypertemic | Always cheerful, active, thirsty for life. Sociable, optimistic, easily overcomes difficulties. |
Stuck | Remembers insults and troubles for a long time, is vengeful, petty |
Dysthymic | Pessimist, always sad and despondent. Concentrated on the dark sides of life. |
Cyclothymic | Changes from thirst for life to pessimism occur frequently and regularly. |
Exalted | A violent reaction to any event, a state from delight to universal sadness. |
Emotive | High sensitivity, empathy, sincerity, tearfulness. |
Anxious | Anxiety for any reason and for no reason. Wariness, timidity, uncertainty. |
Accentuation is considered obvious in cases where it accompanies a person most of the time, almost always.
If the dominance of any trait appears in stressful or critical situations, then the accentuation is called hidden.
How to approach life more simply?
Do you know what most often gnaws at many of us from the inside? No, this is not envy, not resentment or fear. We poison our lives by underestimating our capabilities, and as a result, we reduce the value of our victories.
Your family has been saving money for a long time and finally bought a small apartment. How long have you been happy? No, because my friend has a house by the sea and a yacht. You have been promoted at work - now you are a senior manager. Ha, just think, your friend is already running a restaurant. And so on all the time. The secret is that we never compare in our favor. We strive for what is better, more expensive, more interesting. Hence, the neighbors' grass is always greener. And who would envy, we think, a small apartment or a senior manager position? Answer: millions.
A person focused on negativity always says the killer phrase: “I look at things realistically,” but in the end he creates a reality around himself in which things are worse for him than for any inhabitant of the Earth. And this is not surprising: while you are looking at how things are going with your neighbors, everything in your house is covered with cobwebs. Someone tells you: “Keep it simple.” Advice from an outsider is extremely infuriating, isn’t it? What if you told yourself: “Take it easier.” Are you ready to listen to yourself? Following this rule is easier than you think. How can it help?
We often blow small worries into disaster proportions. Being late for work, extra pounds, lack of money, impending renovations in the house - thoughts are constantly swarming inside us, we exaggerate, nurture, feed, groom and cherish every problem. But in fact, we are raising monsters for ourselves that eat us up from the inside. Tell me, if we think about how to move a stone with the power of thought, will it move? I guess not. But energy will be wasted, and a lot of it. You will say that moving stones with the power of thought is not your goal. That’s right, and in response I will say: “Going crazy if your plan doesn’t work out is also not your goal.”
As long as you worry that something is wrong in your life, you are not living. Treat easier. Why do those who have a simpler attitude towards life and the events in it find it easy to live? They don't waste their energy. This is not a gift from above: they passed the exams and received their lessons from life. Worry will not make your salary higher. Children will not learn better from nervous breakdowns and scandals. An excess of anger will not bring about a new stage in life.
You may ask: are they completely emotionless, these “easy people”? In no case! It’s just that we often use our emotions for other purposes; we give them free rein in those moments when they should dig in behind the front line. You won’t come to an interview with the intention of crying on the employer’s shoulder and preparing a poem about the injustice of the world? And won't you say on the first date that if you fail, your heart will be forever broken? Then why are you saying these words inside yourself? These thoughts are instantly reflected in everything: in the voice, eyes, facial expressions and movements.
You don’t need to know body language to immediately understand that you are preparing for defeat in advance. You may be able to keep your face stony, but the nervous tapping of your nails or the desire to blend into the chair will never hide from your interlocutor. Yes, you need this job. But is this the only place where you can apply your abilities? And why not go on a date with the feeling that it will be an interesting meeting in any case, even if a long-term relationship does not begin? Why paint a dark future you know nothing about? And if you know, then open a fortune telling salon with a “magic ball”.
You shouldn’t fight emotions, you just need to understand: just as you can’t open a tin can by screaming, you won’t be able to solve any problem with tachycardia and sweaty palms. A person who lives easily understands not only how to expend energy and where to put effort, he also knows why he is doing things. And he knows that the goal is achievable, if only you don’t run after it with your tongue on your shoulder. Haven't you noticed that what we chase always runs away from us? This applies to animals, loved ones... and even money! Remember, this has probably happened to you more than once.
For example, you meet a damn attractive guy at a party and he says, “I’ll call you next week!” You don’t leave your apartment for seven whole days! You sit near the phone... and wait. You flinch at every call. Maybe it's finally him?! But every time the wrong voice comes through the phone. Anyone calls you, but not your new friend! Or another example: you might have a need to urgently sell something - a car, an apartment, a dacha. Are buyers lining up? No matter how it is! You started to get nervous and lowered the price. Has anyone shown interest in your proposal? Again, no. What conclusion suggests itself? If you are desperate, nothing will work out for you! Let's take any quarrel as an example. What happens when we try to convince someone? How often do we succeed in this? Almost never! But once you stop putting pressure on your partner, he will eventually agree with your point of view. Desperately wanting something - for your children to become obedient, for your husband to quit smoking, for your career to take off - you create a strong energy field around yourself that repels what you want to attract.
The question is probably on your tongue: aren’t these “easy people” too superficial if they do not pursue their goal, control their emotions, and know how to spend their strength. I will answer: no. What distinguishes them from superficial people is that they are not indifferent. A superficial person is not interested in the aspirations of other people, he goes through life easily, but his goal is like a mirage; he more often convinces others of its existence than he does actions that bring him closer to this goal.
A person who lives easily will always find time to pay attention to others. After all, what constitutes his happiness is the world, the universe. And if a person understands that the world is harmonious, he strives for harmony within himself and in relationships with people. His thoughts are not chaotic, he understands that his life depends not only on his attitude towards himself, it depends on the ability to empathize and participate. Want to check how positive your thinking is? Analyze your life. Well-being and financial crises, successes and failures, relationships with people, health - all this is a reflection of our thoughts. A persistent desire to change something in life will lead to a different order of thoughts. And then you will be closer to living easily!