First, remember how often you find yourself in the position of being late? If this does not happen to you and you are always on time, then accept my congratulations and stop reading this article - it is not for you. But something tells me that there are very few people who are always on time.
Of course, everyone has circumstances and reasons, no one is late for no reason, but here’s the mystery: some almost always arrive on time to a meeting, while others are almost always late. But the circumstances are the same for everyone!
This means that the reason is not the person’s employment, nor his workload. Rather, on the contrary, busier people try to arrive at exactly the appointed time. And the reason for this is simple - they value their time and the time of the people with whom they work.
Now remember another situation: you come to a meeting, and there is no one there. You spend half an hour carefully examining people leaving the subway, but the person with whom you have an appointment is still not there. How are you feeling? I don't think so. If you want your meeting to start in a positive way, be on time.
There is another extreme that I myself suffered from at one time. When I had an appointment, I was almost never late, but in order to appear punctual, I arrived at the place about 20 minutes before the start.
So, punctuality is the art of arriving on time. Not later and not earlier, but exactly at the appointed time.
Can this be learned? Certainly. And the first stage should be the realization that there is a problem with punctuality. The very understanding that being late is not good is already a big step towards punctuality.
To more clearly imagine the negative consequences of being late, put yourself in the shoes of the person waiting. Not only is waiting very unpleasant, but also think about what kind of attitude is formed in the person who is waiting for you. Confidence instantly drops - if you cannot guarantee your appearance at the meeting on time, let alone the rest! The waiter begins to transfer the circumstances onto himself: if a person is late, it means he does not respect my time. My mood drops. All this does not add points to you, but only spoils the first impression.
Conversely, if you arrive at exactly the appointed time, you instantly receive a significant bonus. Now you are treated as a person who values his own and other people’s time, keeps his promises, and whom you can rely on.
Once you have realized the need to develop the skill of punctuality in yourself, you can begin this very development.
I will give a number of useful habits that helped me develop the skill of always being on time, I think these methods will work for you too.
Learn to estimate how long you will be traveling.
By the way, this is very easy to do. You just need to break down all the time you spend on the journey and getting ready into several parts, the duration of each of which you know exactly.
For example, in order to get dressed, you need 13 minutes, 2 minutes to lock the apartment and go down the elevator, 15 minutes to walk to the metro. In total, it will take you 30 minutes to get to the metro. On the metro, you most likely often visit only a few stations: where you study, work, where relatives live, whom you often visit. You know exactly how long it takes to get to these stations. These will be your guidelines. If I always get to Sennaya Square in 10 minutes, then it takes three minutes longer to get to the Technological Institute. It’s more difficult when you have to travel by minibuses and buses. It is not known exactly how long they will have to wait and how long they will travel. In this case, the next point.
Diagnosis of persecution mania
Dream Interpretation of a dear (close) person: why does a woman or a man dream about a dear (close) person?
Having noticed signs of this disorder in a loved one, you should not even try to convince him: the patient is so convinced of the general hostility towards him that any evidence will be “in the air.” Therefore, you should not waste time on empty shaking of air, but it is better to immediately consult a doctor for psychiatric help. You cannot miss precious days: strengthening delusional ideas in the patient’s mind only aggravates the situation.
Only a psychiatrist can accurately determine persecution mania by conducting psychological and instrumental procedures.
The doctor will carefully examine the patient’s symptoms and medical history and communicate with his relatives
Particular attention is paid to the presence of a genetic predisposition to diseases of the brain and mental health, bad habits
It is important to find out the nature of the delirium and how the patient himself relates to his problem.
Testing is used as additional information to determine the patient’s current state of mind: characteristics of his emotional sphere, memory, mental activity, etc.
Instrumental studies imply:
- CT or MRI of the brain (will reveal a tumor or vascular pathology);
- electroencephalography - it will allow you to assess the functioning of the brain by the degree of its activity.
Control time when you can control it.
Can you speed up the train in the subway? I doubt. So don’t worry. If you are traveling on the subway, in a car, on an airplane - no matter how late you are, there is nothing you can do. So relax, your nerves will come in handy. But you can speed up your pace when walking down the street, jog a little if you see a green traffic light or a vehicle approaching a stop, or, as a last resort, you can run along the escalator. Whenever you find yourself in a situation where your speed of movement depends on you, look at your watch and decide whether you need to rush.
Personal qualities of perfectionists
Like any personality type, perfectionists have their positive and negative sides. The following are the most common signs:
the desire to do everything perfectly; meticulousness; increased attention to detail; painful perception of criticism; excessive demands on oneself and others
Positive traits
The main positive trait of a perfectionist is hard work and self-improvement. Such people painstakingly hone their skills in their chosen field and do not stop until they achieve the best results.
Many famous people have achieved success precisely because of this quality. For example, Steve Jobs. He was demanding of his employees and the quality of work performed. According to his instructions, even hidden microcircuits were given an aesthetic appearance. This list also includes Leo Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Kant, Alexander the Great, etc.
Perfectionists are good workers. If you entrust him with a task, you can be sure that it will be completed efficiently. But you should not give him work that needs to be done urgently, since due to excessive care, the completion may take a long time.
Perfectionists are neat and clean. Their desk is always perfectly tidy; you won’t see creative chaos on it, like many workers. Their home is always in impeccable order, everything is in its place and arranged on shelves.
Negative qualities
Perfectionists have a very difficult time in family life. In their subconscious there is an unattainable ideal of family, and if suddenly something does not correspond to this image, then attempts begin to remake their household members. This is where the problems begin, since it is practically impossible to re-educate people, they become frustrated and irritable.
Another negative impact of perfectionism is the fear of not being able to cope with the work or doing it poorly. A person who is overcome by such fear is called a procrastinator. The life credo of such people is: “Either everything or nothing.” As a rule, perfectionist procrastinators do not even start work if they know that they cannot do it flawlessly.
Due to the constant desire to achieve the highest success, such people stop enjoying even good results. They always feel like they need to do even better. This causes emotional exhaustion and often leads to stress and depression.
Don't allow yourself to be late.
There are situations when you know perfectly well that you can be late and nothing will happen to you for it. So, do not allow yourself to be late even in these cases. While studying in my fourth year, I knew for sure that my lateness to the institute for classes would not be noticed by anyone, I would just quietly go into the classroom, and no one would reprimand me for it. When I began to allow myself to be late for college, I noticed that, in principle, it became much more difficult for me to arrive on time. I started being late for other meetings because I had slacked off in college. If you decide to be punctual, then it should be forever.
Prerequisites for the formation of an obsessive state
The causes of the disease mania of purity, the names of which are mysophobia and germophobia, can be the following:
- Regular stress - according to the observations of psychotherapists, an irresistible urge to restore order makes itself felt if there are constant troubles in your personal life and problems at work. Some people perceive cleaning as an effective tool that helps reduce anxiety and get unnecessary thoughts out of their heads.
- Lack of confidence in their own strengths and capabilities - maintaining ideal cleanliness helps shy and emotionally closed people temporarily feel like they are the master of life. The feeling is achieved while admiring the results of one’s own cleanliness and openly demonstrating personal qualities to others.
- Perfectionism - a person is convinced that while performing any work it is necessary to achieve perfection. With a pathological form of mental disorder, there is an aggressive rejection of everything that is not ideal. The destruction of the results of work by people around him leads to an open demonstration of negative emotions on the part of the perfectionist.
- The desire to remain good in any situation - the foundation of an obsessive state is laid in childhood. The blame usually lies with the parents, who are trying to raise the most honest, kind, fair and decent child. Bowing before the unshakable authority of his father and mother, the baby tries to do any task as diligently as possible, hoping to avoid punishment or receive a reward.
Think positively.
You may ask: what does this have to do with it? And I will answer you that this is perhaps the most important point. Believe me, if you leave the house with the thought “Don’t be late!”, then your subconscious will perceive this phrase without the “not” particle. And he will try in every possible way to fulfill your request, or rather what is left of it, namely: “Be late!” Moreover, when you think in a positive way (“I’ll make it!”), then transport arrives surprisingly faster, you spend less time in traffic jams... Or so it will seem to you... In any case, your mood will be much better if you Confidently tell yourself that you will succeed in everything.
Symptoms of workaholism
If you dream about a person you like
Even if he finds himself in a hospital bed, he will not stop working
- The person continues to talk about the work process outside of work. When everyday topics are raised, he is uninterested in them and causes boredom, but when the conversation turns to topics about work, he begins to communicate with inspiration, great energy, and experiences pleasure.
- If you ask a person about plans for the future, they will all relate exclusively to the work process.
- If he is taken out on vacation, he will feel unhappy, begin to get nervous, and will not be at ease.
- All thoughts are occupied with problems at work, which makes it difficult to relax.
- Such a person does not see the need for rest, and considers everyone who dreams of a vacation to be lazy.
- When he completes a project, he does not feel satisfied with the work done, but only sad that it is over.
- Such a person is too self-critical and constantly sets high goals for himself.
- Constantly needs approval and praise.
- Very afraid of making failures.
- A workaholic leader will take on most of the responsibilities because he believes that he can better cope with the task.
- He is characterized by increased activity. Often does more than is required of him. He is a perfectionist and tries to do everything perfectly. Often he gets the impression that all the work rests on him alone, and everyone around him is lazy.
You are responsible for your time.
Don't blame others for your lateness. There are situations when you objectively cannot do anything, but they do not occur too often (if you think otherwise, I advise you to read this article again). In most situations, you are the culprit for being late, so I advise you to give yourself feedback in cases of lateness so as not to repeat mistakes next time.
If you follow these 10 points, then most likely you will not have problems with being late. Learn to be on time, practice and your punctuality will be envied and respected.
Tags: discipline, personal psychology, time, psychology of communication, tardiness, punctuality
Scientists: People who are constantly late are more successful and live longer
If you were late again and even got criticized for it, don't worry too much. It turns out that being late isn't such a bad thing. Experts have found that people who are often late have many positive traits. One of them is constant lateness.
They tend to be optimistic and suffer less from stress
You, of course, know such a person. Perhaps it is your best friend who is simply unable to get anywhere on time, or perhaps you yourself. Anyway, we have good news for everyone who has problems with time management.
People who are late are less stressed, which is undoubtedly good for their health, but they are also able to see the big picture and think outside the box. All these factors help latecomers achieve great success in their careers and prolong their lives.
Being late turns you into an optimist
According to Diane De Lonzor, author of The Easy Way to Stop Being Late: “Many late people tend to be both optimistic and unrealistic. This also applies to their perception of time: they truly believe that they can go for a run, pick up clothes from the dry cleaner, buy groceries and take the kids to school in an hour.
They remember that one bright day 10 years ago when they actually got all those things done in 60 minutes, and they forget about all the other times when those same things took much, much longer.”
A positive approach increases your chances of success
Metropolitan Life Insurance conducted a study in which salespeople participated. It found that “the most optimistic 10 percent of consultants sold 88 percent more products than their most pessimistic 10 percent.” They did better because their approach was better.
People who are consistently late are more enthusiastic
People who are disorganized or often late tend to be enthusiastic. According to the Enneagram Institute, enthusiasts' weaknesses include being "overindulgent, unfocused, and undisciplined," but their strengths include being "extroverted, spontaneous, energetic, and playful."
They actually experience the passage of time differently.
Jeff Conte, an associate professor of psychology at the University of San Diego, came up with interesting results in his research. His team conducted an experiment with Type A (competitive, impatient) and Type B (relaxed, creative) personalities. Late arrivals fell into category B.
The researchers asked participants in both groups to guess, after exactly one minute, how much time had passed. Members of Group A, on average, said that 58 seconds had passed, while people in Group B thought that 77 seconds had passed. Obviously, these people literally feel that there is more time than there actually is.
“So if you have an 18-second gap ... over time, that difference will make itself felt,” Conte explained in an interview with The Wall Street Journal.
Multitasking people also perceive time slower
Jeff Conte also conducted an experiment involving 181 New York City subway operators. His research showed that those operators who frequently multitasked were more likely to be late than their colleagues.
They often become completely immersed in what they are doing and forget about time.
Think about that friend of yours who is always late. Does he or she have a wide social circle and too many hobbies? According to Lifehack.org, people often become late because they are “absorbed in another exciting or extremely interesting activity” that puts them in “another zone.”
They don't make a fuss about other people being late because they see the big picture
Being a minute late doesn't bother Type B people (those who are relaxed and creative, from Jeff Conte's experiment). In such cases, they think that if they are not bothered by others being late, there is nothing wrong with them being a few minutes late (which is probably not the case).
They are more spontaneous
Because of the laid-back nature of Type B, latecomers don't worry too much about flights, trains, or hotel bookings. They “simply throw things into a suitcase and go out, deciding along the way where to eat and spend the night, because it’s much more interesting,” writes Lifehack.org.
And they have more problems with money
“People who are late but genuinely want to call it quits tend to want to be more mindful, but they live in the moment and find it difficult to save money for the future,” says Alfie Kohn, author of books on education, parenting and human behavior, in Interview with the American magazine Psychology Today.
Some people "can't bring themselves to be on time," which means they may "have trouble getting themselves to behave in other areas, such as saving money or avoiding junk food."
They enjoy breaking rules and achieving goals.
Latecomers never follow instructions, behave like everyone else, and don't fully trust Google Map's calculations. This means they think outside the box, which makes them capable of solving problems using unusual—and often better—ways.
According to De Lonzor, there are two types of people: deadliners and producers. Deadliners “unconsciously crave the adrenaline rush of racing to the finish line,” while “producers gain self-esteem from being able to get as much done as possible in as little time as possible.”
They are less likely to become patients of cardiologists
A study published in the International Journal of Clinical and Health Psychology in 2003 found that Type A people have a higher risk of developing coronary heart disease. The reason for this is the higher level of stress they face. People who worry less about getting everything done on time are more likely to avoid stress-related illnesses.
Telegram channel of the author about time planning and delays
(This is a translation. Original)
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After the Listvyazhnaya disaster, Gratein residents carried carnations to the monument to those killed in another accident - at the Komsomolets mine in 2000. This mine is assigned to Leninsk-Kuznetsky. In the 1990s, the city became known throughout the country due to rampant crime, which even Yeltsin drew attention to, as well as for the Zarya football team, in which the future captain of the Russian national team Alexei Smertin began his career.
Today Leninsk-Kuznetsky is included in the list of cities with a risk of deterioration in the socio-economic situation. People are running away from everywhere. Compared to 1987-1989, the population of Leninsk-Kuznetsky decreased by almost 100 thousand people. The information board on the local Miners' Walk of Fame has not kept pace with the mass exodus. The population indicated there - 108,798 people - is relevant for 2005. And in 2021, according to official statistics, only 93,288 people live here.
After the accident at Listvyazhnaya, 30 miners were taken to the local miners’ health center. The eldest of them are already over 50, the youngest is not even 25. Lists of victims hang in the hall near the cloakroom, but they are not allowed to see the miners themselves. Order. The center’s employees just sigh tiredly: “We lost fifty healthy adults at once!”
Monument to Nicholas II in Leninsk-Kuznetsky
Photo: Vil Ravilov
Once upon a time, this city became the first in the RSFSR to change its name in honor of Vladimir Lenin - Lenin himself was still alive. Today, the paradoxical situation in Leninsk-Kuznetsky is emphasized by the monument to Nicholas II. It is installed on Lenin Avenue and is very reminiscent of a local police officer. They say that the initiator of the appearance of the monument was the Russian Orthodox Church - they wanted to commemorate the contribution of the last emperor to the beginning of industrial coal mining in Kuzbass.
The role of the individual in history is revealed by the inscription on the trolley: it turns out that the Nikolaevskaya mine was named in 1896 in honor of the accession of Nicholas II. There is a version that the decision to execute the royal family was made by the Ural Council on July 16, 1918, with the sanction of Lenin. Now, at least in Leninsk-Kuznetsky separately, the autocrat is taking revenge from the Bolshevik leader - at least in terms of the number of mentions. Aman Tuleyev, a member of the CPSU since 1968 and an honorary citizen of Leninsk-Kuznetsky since 2015, looks at the struggle in absentia of the last emperor and the first chairman of the Soviet government, smiling radiantly from his portrait.
Election poster of Aman Tuleyev in a private house
Photo: Vil Ravilov
Phobia of getting your hands dirty
The passion for cleanliness can also be dictated by a disorder such as mysophobia - the fear of getting dirty, soiling clothes, or becoming an object of infection. This kind of illness, and there is no other way to call it, significantly complicates the life of a person obsessed with cleanliness. It cannot be said that it pushes him into conflicts with society, but is it difficult to do business with a potential partner who constantly sprays everything with antiseptic after contact with the door handle? Unfortunately, this type of disorder is becoming more and more common. They make people twitchy, irritable, and sometimes even angry. In such a manifestation, a passion for cleanliness can hardly be called a good message. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a moderate desire to maintain order. Especially if a person needs it to keep himself in good shape.
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“The explosion almost reached where dad was. They only felt cotton,” Ksenia, the daughter of Gennady Beloshkursky, who died in the mine, tells Lenta.ru. “Some were thrown aside, others lost consciousness. My dad remained sane and clearly understood what was happening. He began to raise people and bring them to their senses. He could have gotten out himself, but he preferred to stay with those who could not get up.
As he began to lead people out, he realized that one thing was missing. It was a young guy Alexander Petrov. Dad started shouting: “Sashka, come after us!” and saw that he could not turn on his self-rescuer. Dad’s self-rescuer was already turned on. And he directly began to forcefully shove him. Dad wanted to save the guy, but he himself was breathing without a self-rescuer...
He was found in a group of five people, they were lying closer to the exit. This means that dad tried to get them out until the last moment.”
Personal qualities of perfectionists
Like any personality type, perfectionists have their positive and negative sides. The following are the most common signs:
the desire to do everything perfectly; meticulousness; increased attention to detail; painful perception of criticism; excessive demands on oneself and others
Positive traits
The main positive trait of a perfectionist is hard work and self-improvement. Such people painstakingly hone their skills in their chosen field and do not stop until they achieve the best results.
Many famous people have achieved success precisely because of this quality. For example, Steve Jobs. He was demanding of his employees and the quality of work performed. According to his instructions, even hidden microcircuits were given an aesthetic appearance. This list also includes Leo Tolstoy, Nietzsche, Kant, Alexander the Great, etc.
Perfectionists are good workers. If you entrust him with a task, you can be sure that it will be completed efficiently. But you should not give him work that needs to be done urgently, since due to excessive care, the completion may take a long time.
Perfectionists are neat and clean. Their desk is always perfectly tidy; you won’t see creative chaos on it, like many workers. Their home is always in impeccable order, everything is in its place and arranged on shelves.
Negative qualities
Perfectionists have a very difficult time in family life. In their subconscious there is an unattainable ideal of family, and if suddenly something does not correspond to this image, then attempts begin to remake their household members. This is where the problems begin, since it is practically impossible to re-educate people, they become frustrated and irritable.
Another negative impact of perfectionism is the fear of not being able to cope with the work or doing it poorly. A person who is overcome by such fear is called a procrastinator. The life credo of such people is: “Either everything or nothing.” As a rule, perfectionist procrastinators do not even start work if they know that they cannot do it flawlessly.
Due to the constant desire to achieve the highest success, such people stop enjoying even good results. They always feel like they need to do even better. This causes emotional exhaustion and often leads to stress and depression.
