How to be a happy person and enjoy life?

how to be a happy person, photo: pixabay.com “How to be happy?” - every second person on the planet asks himself this question. But happiness is not just one happy day or hour, it is measured in the length of a whole life. This conclusion was reached by the famous American psychologist Robert Waldinger. A scientist and psychiatrist conducted an interesting study, taking almost 800 people into an experiment. We will tell you in the article what the essence was and what results Robert achieved.

Most people think that in order to be happy they need money, but even they are not able to make a person happy. In the pursuit of money, people stop noticing the small details that actually lift their spirits and make them happy throughout the day. Everything happens as in the saying “The rich also cry.” Having everything, we cease to feel the measure and pleasure of small acquisitions, achievements, successes in different directions. But when achieving a goal occurs in stages, every step is appreciated and seems incredibly big. Moreover, Robert believes that no material values can replace a person’s true love, relationships with friends and warm relationships with family.

Of course, psychologists, doctors and scientists have their own concepts and conclusions about the “ability to be happy” factor, but, as real stories and stories show, man remains a social creature. Success, status, need, career are based on the moral state of the individual. If you are unhappy, are not in the “best” social circle, are subject to constant pressure from loved ones, no amount of money or psychologists will be able to help you. Until you find your company and begin to notice the happiness that exists in every second of life, you don’t even have to search for “How to become a happy person, tips” on the Internet. You must understand this for yourself and find the answer to the question yourself. Well, for those who are a little lost or stumbled. If you want to return a positive attitude and happy fragments on a permanent basis, it’s time to read our article. Today we will not only give 12 detailed tips on the question “what to do to live happily?”, but also introduce readers to incredible stories, experiments and scientific information. After reading the text, you will find a win-win option about what you need to do to be happy every second.

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According to the standard, read a number of basic questions that will help reveal and voice the details of happiness:

How to become happy, advice, psychology.
What do you need to do to be happy every day?
How to be happy and enjoy life if now is a very difficult period?
To be happy you need...
How to become happy, 12 simple and short ways.

We suggest starting the article on a good note, and strengthening your knowledge about happiness with the help of 6 interesting facts:

Fact No. 1
Passed on by inheritance. Researchers from the University of Minnesota, using a survey, suggested that happiness may be inherited. It is laid down in the genes. Therefore, they recommend choosing your soulmate based on character and cheerful disposition. Positive people will find a way out of any situation, see happiness in the little things and teach this to their children.
Fact No. 2
The British Medical Journal has proven... Sad people, when they find themselves in the company of cheerful and happy people, take on their mood. That is, happiness can infect and spread like a beneficial virus. Also, the publishing house conducted a whole “vicious circle” experiment. Happy people shared their happiness and delighted their colleagues with pleasant wishes, gifts, and communication. Those who received feedback intuitively did the same with others - they pleased and made them happy.
Fact No. 3
Strong immune system. An unexpected medical statement for the topic of today's article, however, happiness directly affects human health. Scientists conducted another experiment and proved that happy people get sick much less often thanks to positive thinking.
Fact No. 4
Getting paid once an hour is happiness for you. Employees who work with an hourly salary are better able to sense and appreciate time. Revenue every hour lifts the spirit and encourages the employee to work even harder. The result: quality work done, a satisfied employee and timely payment. Some advantages, right?
Fact No. 5
Situation. Surrounding yourself with a pleasant atmosphere wherever you are is very important. Even the shades of the walls in your apartment can influence your mood every day. Therefore, it would be better to make the walls in warm, pastel colors, and decorate children's and playrooms in light blue and yellow colors.

How to always be happy, deciphering the concept of happiness in psychology

Elena Mitina, a famous psychologist who works with people of different ages, deciphers the concept of “happiness” in this way, we quote:

“Feelings of happiness are a number of different emotions within a person. It can be caused by experiences, successes, joy, love. At the moment of happiness, a person experiences satisfaction and meaning, and becomes a component of life, and not just an existing one. But this process involves not only our psychological state, but also physiological processes. When people feel happy, their levels of endorphin hormones increase. A bright surge of positive emotions and a slight release of adrenaline into the blood are produced. Also, I agree with the opinion of Gestalt psychology. The main point of view of Gestalt psychology is that happiness can come only if a person “lives here and now” and does not wait for a happy moment. Such people are able to live every moment, be filled and positive every second. They realize that they live life, passing through themselves the joy of the world around them and personal actions. Happiness is not a simple phenomenon, but a whole skill and even a science.”

The psychologist uses a standard but effective approach in his practice and work. It divides happiness into a pyramid of human needs that make us happier.

Let's take a closer look at it, starting from the bottom rank:

Physiological needs. Sex, sleep, nutrition, thirst are basic functions in everyone’s life. This is the easiest to obtain and these facts, however, can make people happy.
Security and stability. A sense of security, calm, comfort and confidence are important. Factors depend on place of residence, profession, income.
Friendship and love. Loving and being loved is what really matters. True support from friends and true love from loved ones makes a person much happier.
Meaning and respect. It is important for people to be significant and needed in any area of their activity. The achieved result is approval and admiration from loved ones and superiors.
Create and create. The opportunity to develop, learn something new and explore makes life interesting and filled with positive emotions.
Aesthetics and appearance. Occupies the penultimate step in the pyramid. People consider themselves happy if they are completely in harmony with their inner and outer world.
Implementation. Closes the pyramid of happiness. The ability to achieve goals, realize dreams, develop mentally, psychologically and physically is considered the highest level of development of happiness.

But we believe that the steps are not distributed entirely correctly. And support, friendship, relationships must be put at the highest level. Because, in isolated cases, a person achieves success without the help of at least one participant in any process. Judge for yourself, the ability to build relationships is very important. It will lead the individual to the desired aesthetics of appearance and realization. It will make a person significant and respected, inspire action and creation. That is, happiness is formed not thanks to external factors, but to the ways in which we arrive at them. One of them is building relationships in society.

Euphoria: life without pain

Euphoria is similar to a feeling of boundless happiness or delight in everything that is happening around. This state is associated with high levels of endorphin - our “internal drug”. Endorphin relieves us of pain and rewards us with a feeling of bliss. It also normalizes blood pressure, pulse and breathing rate.

Euphoria is not related to past achievements, unlike satisfaction. You will receive “free endorphin” in large quantities only during an attack of pain or after overcoming a stressful situation. In a healthy body, the effect of endorphin stops after 30 minutes. Many scientists believe that it is dangerous for a person to remain in a state of euphoria for a long time. He becomes vulnerable as self-control weakens.

Interesting fact!

Endorphin is the only happiness hormone that can be obtained from the outside. All known drugs, including alcohol and even nicotine, act as endorphins. But as soon as a person begins to inject drugs, the brain stops releasing “internal endorphin.” Therefore, drug addicts without a dose feel any touch as pain and suffer from a lack of painkiller “hormone of bliss”.

What do you need to do to learn to be happy even in difficult periods of life?

Did you know that of the entire population of Russia, only 1% turns to a psychotherapist for help? If not, then it's true. Moreover:

78% of people try to hide their experiences, forgetting about the main question: “how to learn to be happy?” They get lost in complexes and suffering. They make unsuccessful attempts to get out of severe depression.
57% believe that they have everything on their own and no psychologist will help correct situations from the present or past, making them happy and dotting all the I’s.
23% are confident that they will get out of a bad period on their own, and the psychotherapist can only pump money out of them.
14% are interested in psychological and emotional states. They watch various programs and study literature on psychology.

Let’s not hide the fact that when a difficult or very difficult period comes in life, a person utters the phrase: “I want to die.” This means that the person is completely burnt out emotionally. Such a person no longer sees happiness in the morning dawn, in a wonderful breakfast, in a kiss from a loved one. Simply put, there is no strength left for anything other than being upset and whining. In this case, psychologists recommend pulling yourself together and starting the week, day, minute with a new leaf. You shouldn’t forget about the problems that have accumulated, but sometimes it’s better to put them aside so that you can come up with an idea on how to resolve the situation that has happened.

Falling in love: “there’s chemistry between us!”

The brain in love feels simultaneously in a state of pleasant stress and euphoria. Modern knowledge of neurophysiology proves that love potions or love potions may indeed exist.

Falling in love begins long before you meet someone you like. Just like in all animals, as spring approaches, hormones “awaken” in the female and male bodies. They lower our critical assessment somewhat, and when a person appears that your brain considers as a suitable candidate, phenylethylamine is released. It is a natural aphrodisiac. It is present in small amounts in chocolate, cheese and red wine. It is these foods that the romantic and loving French eat in large quantities. But there is very little of it in products, so the most powerful effect is phenylethylamine, which is released in our brain.

Under the influence of phenylethylamine, the following happiness hormones are released:

Dopamine
. It increases libido, creates a pleasant emotional background and you feel motivated. Dopamine helps create new neural pathways to happiness. Every time you see the one you are in love with, hear his voice and remember him, the new “dopamine path” becomes smoother, which means the path to happiness is achieved faster. Thanks to dopamine, lovers promise to do everything possible, and then impossible for their loved one, just to trigger the release of the pleasure hormone dopamine.
Norepinephrine
. Provides you with energy and increases performance. When you see your lover, norepinephrine is released, you get worried, your knees tremble, your heart rate accelerates and your breath takes away.
Serotonin
. It is considered the hormone of happiness, but in fact controls our mood and behavior by inhibiting the destruction of norepinephrine. When you fall in love, serotonin makes you fearless and impulsive, relieves anxiety and adds flexibility. This hormone makes you not even want to eat, and you can stay awake without feeling tired.

A short description of the experiment of the scientist Robert, what should you do to be happy?

2 groups were taken in 1938 from Harvard University. The first group of guys who went to World War II, the second group were young boys from low-income families, disadvantaged areas of Boston. Each participant underwent an interview and medical examination. During their lives, they managed to become: doctors, athletes, builders. Architects, workers, alcoholics, one of the guys became President of the States. Someone got sick and died, someone became a millionaire. The tracking project lasted 75 years. Over the years, the project management sent participants questionnaires with questions about life.

The truth and the result turned out to be simple and unsurprising, but very significant.

“Close relationships influence well-being, the generally accepted concept of happiness. Betting on your career and remaining a proud loner is not an option, as many years of surveys have shown. People who constantly spoke up for their friends, for good relationships at work, turned out to be much happier and were many times more successful in life.”

Motherly feeling

Women's happiness is unthinkable without the feeling of motherhood, which is provided by the hormone oxytocin. Previously, it was believed that it was intended only to stimulate labor, which is why its name, which literally sounds like “quick labor.” After a woman gives birth, oxytocin creates a whole range of emotions that we call maternal feeling.

In an animal experiment, it was proven that if the release of oxytocin is suppressed in female sheep after giving birth, the maternal instinct will not appear in them. Conversely, females who have not given birth experience maternal feelings towards other lambs if oxytocin is injected into their cerebrospinal fluid. This is also proven by the well-known expression that there are no other people’s children if the level of oxytocin is high. Read more about the study in the literature sources and bibliographic references section.

But let's not forget that there is also fatherly love, which manifests itself in exactly the same way as motherly love. Even the most brutal man with a very high level of testosterone, the moment he picks up a child, releases attachment hormones - oxytocin and vasopressin. Vasopressin is similar to oxytocin, but its levels are more dependent on genetic predisposition. As oxytocin competes with testosterone, the level of the latter drops sharply, and the man becomes more sentimental.

How to become a happy person, brief tips:

Don't wait for approval from others - do what you think is necessary and useful.
Stop being angry with those who are offended. Anger destroys a person from the inside.
Accept yourself and your body. Only conscious love will truly make you happy.
Find a good environment. Loyal, cheerful, successful friends – that’s what’s valuable.
Don't look for a perfect life, but do everything to improve it.
Don’t rely on anyone, but trust the advice of your loved ones.
Find a note of positivity in every day and learn to sincerely enjoy it.

“Live here and now” - is there anything else worth adding?

Don’t bring back bad memories from the past, but think more often about the good ones.
Avoid negativity and whining people, do not give in to their whining.
Stop being jealous and set yourself up to achieve personal success in your endeavors.
Get rid of uncertainty. Every day, set your life on a positive wave, ride it, imagining that this is the best surfing and moment of the day.

Is it difficult to be happy and easy to be unhappy? - not at all. Paths, solutions, happiness - there are in every situation, in every day. You just have to become more attentive and notice the little concerns from loved ones, pleasant words addressed to you. The world is very diverse and multifaceted. Know yourself, learn from your mistakes, taste life every second, enjoy the moment, and you will certainly become the happiest on this planet.

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Trust – loyalty and security

Someone will say that happiness is the ability to count on someone’s support, to feel the embrace of a loved one and to know that he is faithful to you. If this description fits your definition of happiness, then know that you need someone with high levels of oxytocin. This hormone gives a feeling of security. People gather in fan clubs, do things together and want to belong to a group when oxytocin plays a paramount role in happiness.

American scientist Paul Zack, known as “Doctor Love,” conducted a series of studies on field mice. The male rodents, who prefer “free love” with females, became completely monogamous when they were injected with oxytocin in the laboratory. Thanks to this action, the hormone was called the “morality molecule.” Paul Zak repeated his experiment on humans. 80% of people who were injected with oxytocin through an inhaler showed more generosity and trust in their business partner in the money experiment. Donations increased by 50% under the influence of oxytocin. Dr. Zack concluded that oxytocin increases our capacity for compassion, which makes us happier. You can read more about the study by clicking on the link at the end of the article.

Smile

Photo source: pxhere.com

A smile is the main component of happiness. When we smile, the body produces endorphins, which dilate blood vessels and help fight stress.

Enjoy every second of life. Rejoice not only in your successes, but also in others. Focus on the positive side of the situation and try to take troubles more easily.

Dependence on public opinion

The opinions of others are detrimental to obtaining joy and achieving a state called happiness. You cannot become a slave to the public. There is no need to go to the gym or play sports just because it is fashionable and everyone does it. Quiet walks can bring no less pleasure than membership in an elite fitness club.

You need to do only what really brings you pleasure. Such activities can be combined with achieving goals. For example, increase the distance traveled by a couple of hundred meters every day. The body will not feel the difference, but the numbers on a pedometer or smartphone with this function will please the eye. Achieving even small goals can give a person a feeling of euphoria and pride in themselves. Happy and feels good, because happiness is in your thoughts.

Andrey Sharonov, Skolkovo school

Is it possible to recharge yourself with happiness from others? It seems to me that this is a very personal feeling, until you find it within yourself, it is better not to count on the help of others. But the people around me - friends, colleagues, fellow students - gave me the opportunity to understand what is in me, to begin to appreciate certain things more, to worry less in some places, to come to terms with something. They became catalysts for a lot of inner work.

When you learn to treat yourself more calmly, without high expectations, you begin to experience a state of happiness more often. For example, I managed to overcome the constant dissatisfaction with myself that all people from the Soviet past suffer from: the desire to whip and whip myself for the slightest mistake, to spur myself to unattainable heights. Here you need to find a middle ground - and lower these expectations, and understand what will motivate you not to sit still. Don't compare. Just as different people perceive the same color differently, two different people perceive this state differently. For me, the closest concepts to happiness are joy and satisfaction, but for others it may be a different set. We very often make ourselves unhappy because we set the wrong goals. Of course, you can decide that our mission is to become the best, champions in our field, but what if this doesn’t happen? This is based on an initial false goal setting. It seems to you that this place, the position that you should occupy, is the peak of your career, the meaning of life, but in reality it turns out to be a set of formal criteria imposed by society or upbringing. Life is weird and ironic: you can be miserable on a podium and you can feel better without a medal at all because you know how to find joy in the process. You can get it into your head that the notorious first place is the ultimate goal, but for the sake of this you have to make compromises that poison your life - and now you slowly begin to confuse the goal with the means, and so on. And at the foundation of everything there may be ordinary vanity, which, of course, is the most difficult and embarrassing to admit.

A selection of useful materials for those who want to become happy

So, I return to the review of materials from the Vikium website, which I mentioned at the beginning of the article. Below I will describe four courses that, in my opinion, anyone who lacks happiness in life should take.

Brain Detoxification

Description : The course is small, includes only ten lessons. It will help you get rid of all negative thoughts. Negativity can be associated with fear, anger, resentment, the feeling that you are a failure, etc. Usually, when such thoughts are spinning in your head, it is difficult for you to switch to something else and, of course, you still cannot become happy. it turns out.

When you complete the training, you will immediately notice how easy it is for you to concentrate on work, relationships, or everything that fills your life with joy. You will also see that you have begun to sleep much better at night, restless dreams and, especially, nightmares, have completely stopped bothering you.

The bulk of the material here consists of practical exercises. Theory is kept to a minimum. There are videos and audio recordings that you can listen to several times. They motivate well for success in all areas of life.

Author : Victor Shiryaev.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Brain fitness

Description : This course is aimed simultaneously at getting rid of all sorts of negativity that interferes with your happiness and well-being, and at developing the brain. You will learn to concentrate, develop attention, push away stress and any bad thoughts, and motivate yourself.

Brain fitness is expensive due to the special device that comes with the materials. It's called a neural interface. It was created by developers from Vikium; you will not find any analogues in RuNet.

The neural interface will analyze the functioning of your brain and compare the frequency of electromagnetic waves with your condition. You will be interested to see how the electromagnetic field changes when you are depressed, scared or, conversely, happy. All data is uploaded to the service website, and in response it provides a list of recommendations.

You can purchase the neural interface separately; it costs 11,990 rubles. The device works smoothly.

Authors : developers of the Vikium project.

Cost : 12,990 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Emotional intellect

Description : I recommend that you take this course because it helps you understand emotions. Sometimes you ask a person: “Are you happy?” He says: “No.” "Why?" - “I don’t know myself.” To prevent this from happening, you will need “Emotional Intelligence”.

After twenty lessons of the course, you will easily notice the emotions that are trying to unsettle you and upset your mental balance. You will notice that you have become much calmer, more confident, and that you pay more attention to yourself rather than to the negativity around you.

Author : Oleg Kalinichev.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Goal setting

Description : I recommend this course to anyone who feels unhappy. Perhaps the fact is that you simply do not have a goal to which you are going, or you cannot properly plan its achievement or allocate your time.

The course will teach you goal setting and help you not lose motivation midway. It is very small, only 6 lessons, but they are 90 percent practical. The materials remain with you forever, and you can return to them even after several years.

Authors : Vikium project specialists.

Cost : 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

Alexander Asmolov, Doctor of Psychology, Academician of the Russian Academy of Education

By talking about happiness, we demonstrate our unhappiness. And conversations about happiness are always just dreams about it. The remarkable psychologist and philosopher of the century before last, John Stuart Mill, gave advice that I follow. He said, “The cunning strategy for happiness (I emphasize the word ‘cunning’) is to never strive for happiness, but to set goals and achieve them.” Happiness comes from tackling tantalizing, enticing, challenging problems. The second point: when we, as analysts, turn to happiness, we do not confuse it with euphoria, high, saturation. Happiness in my semantic field is associated with love. Loving is happiness. How is sex different from love? Sex is always satiable and finite, but love is insatiable and endless. And in this sense, the unique characteristic of both happiness and love is their unattainability.

“There is happiness beyond well-being. Just like misfortune"

I always feel happy when I have Beatrice in my life. I imagine a situation where Dante goes to bed with Beatrice and wakes up in the morning, alas, not entirely happy. The unattainability of Laura, the unattainability of Beatrice is a symbolism of unattainability and movement towards happiness. And in this situation, happiness is closely connected with an ordinary miracle. When my favorite bard (and philosopher, in fact) Alexander Galich writes: “How strange it is to me that you are a wife, how strange it is to me that you are alive! But I thought that I just imagined you,” then this discovery, it seems to me, represents the essence of happiness. And that’s why for me happiness and love are in an indissoluble symbiosis with each other. For me, happiness does not come down to well-being. There is happiness beyond well-being. As is misfortune. Hence the well-known phenomenon in psychology by Martin Eden “Death on the crest of success”, which proves that models of happiness and models of success, models of well-being are different models. Don't be confused! As they say in Odessa: “These are two big differences!” I can be successful, but not happy. This is the paradox of life. I know a lot of successful and prosperous people who are unhappy.

And happiness is synergistic with understanding: “Happiness is when you are understood,” as they say in the movie “We’ll Live Until Monday.” Unhappy is the country that does not understand its children and does not feel the greatness of its teachers. I’ll end my impromptu with the favorite quote of my friend, the creator of the concept of maladaptation, Vadim Petrovsky: “Happiness is when you are understood, and unhappiness is when you are figured out.”

Add more color to your life

This doesn't mean that only trips to different exotic places can add more color to your life. There are many other great things that can improve your mood.

Bright colors can have a unique effect on your mind. You can repaint your bedroom walls in your favorite bright color. Every morning you will open your eyes and enjoy the beauty and magic of these walls.

It should also be remembered that color therapy is a good treatment for sleep and mood disorders.

Confidence

Ask any person who wants career growth, and he will tell you that what makes him happy is achieving success, and for this you need self-confidence.

Testosterone, oxytocin and estradiol are responsible for confidence.

As a rule, people with different personalities may have different levels of these substances. If you enjoy and feel confident when you beat all your competitors and dominate in any aspect, then you have a lot of testosterone and dopamine.

But testosterone should not be considered the key to self-confidence. With its excess, a person becomes greedy and domineering. If you like to consult, work in a team and find compromise solutions, you have a lot of estradiol and oxytocin.

Although female or male sex hormones play a key role, both conditions can occur periodically in both men and women. It all depends on the sphere of life and the positive experience that is formed in the limbic system and is called “happy memory”.

Interesting fact!

If you succeeded at something once, in the future you will be sure that you will succeed again. This is what our brain thinks, creating neural connections based on successful experiences in the past. This same experience influences your expectations for the future. When we don't get what we want, the brain doesn't release serotonin and we feel unappreciated.