Every man has at least once committed a serious offense, because of which his beloved was offended by him. In such a situation, it is urgent to look for an answer to the question of how best to apologize to your wife? Otherwise, the quarrel may drag on for several days or even result in separation.
An apology should always be thoughtful and at the same time correspond to the cause of the scandal. In such cases, the woman expects a sincere admission of her guilt, and the man’s task is to correct his wrongdoings. Below we will discuss the main causes of marital conflicts and ways to overcome them.
Apologies after a scandal or after drinking
If the day before a man initiated a quarrel, his task is to admit that he was wrong. What actions will definitely lead to reconciliation?
- You need to have a serious conversation, tell about the true reason for your temper.
- The man should note that he will no longer show his reaction so emotionally, or lose his temper so zealously.
- You can give your wife a small gift, buy her a bouquet of flowers, in order to prove your repentance with all your appearance.
- It is necessary to eliminate the reason for which the scandal occurred, and then the woman herself will forgive her lover.
Often quarrels occur purely on domestic grounds. Each person is accustomed to living in certain conditions, and coexistence with someone else can cause discomfort. This is why it is so important to make concessions, talk, and discuss family problems.
If the husband returns home very drunk, it is usually also impossible to avoid a scandal. In such a situation, the spouse must admit his guilt and promise not to do this again. If the situation repeats itself repeatedly, then it is necessary to move from empty promises to action. By not drinking alcohol next weekend, a man will best prove that his beloved is more important to him than alcoholic beverages, which means that reconciliation will be achieved.
Validate your wife's feelings and don't invalidate them
It is very important to learn to acknowledge the feelings of another - this does not mean giving up your position and agreeing with your partner in everything. You can still disagree, but at the same time acknowledge that her feelings and reaction to what happened are real, and you don’t doubt them. Agree, it’s not up to you to decide how exactly she should have been upset (or not upset) because of your action.
“When we quarreled and I went to see friends in the middle of the night, you felt abandoned and unwanted. I understand that it was very offensive and difficult.”
You are not saying that your reaction was wrong, but you are acknowledging the reality of your spouse, showing that you heard her and understand how scared and hurt she was.
Still from the movie "Pretty Little Liars"
Apologies after cheating
This is perhaps one of the most common causes of quarrels among married couples. It is extremely difficult to avoid betrayal if there are regular temptations. If a man was unable to maintain monogamy, and his wife found out about this, you need to act as follows:
- you need to explain to your wife why the betrayal occurred, and that the mistress means nothing to the man;
- you should show fidelity to your wife with all your appearance, not paying attention to other women;
- in the coming weeks you need to turn into the main romantic, give flowers, arrange vacations, making amends in every way;
- It is recommended not to press your beloved, not to demand immediate forgiveness from her, since the offense is too serious;
- you should be persistent in your apologies and not back down, even if the woman says that she will never forgive.
Cheating is a very serious mistake that can result in divorce. The wife will be able to forgive her other half only if she feels sincerity on the part of her chosen one.
Listen to your wife with an open heart
After your monologue, it’s her turn, and there may be two most likely scenarios. The first - the beloved will also open up, talk about her feelings, resentment, fears, pain and concerns. Listen and don’t interrupt, try to understand her feelings.
The second scenario is similar to the first, but more emotional. Be prepared for a wave of criticism and accusations to hit you after your apology. In this case, if you are serious about making peace, be patient. Don't argue, don't downplay guilt, admit your real mistakes. Try to move the conversation in a constructive direction. If this is difficult, you can respond with a slight delay so as not to accidentally say something offensive. Here it is important not to internalize negative emotions and pay attention exclusively to the feelings of your spouse - pain, fear and resentment.
Unspoken rules for asking for forgiveness
Psychologists emphasize that there are unspoken rules that will allow you to make your apologies as sincere as possible. Regardless of the offense, it is better to apologize in person and not via SMS. Words spoken with full repentance will always be more important than even the most incredible written messages.
Psychologists also advise not to delay apologies. If a man has done something wrong, then he should forget about pride for a while and say his cherished words. If reconciliation is postponed until better times, the conflict will turn out to be much more serious.
The remaining rules may vary depending on the characteristics of the quarrel. Let's try to sort out the main ones.
How to apologize if it's my fault
It is very easy to offend a woman. Sometimes all it takes is one word or gesture. If a man has committed a crime, he needs to act as follows:
- you should fully admit your guilt, without trying to blame your beloved for something;
- it is necessary to emphasize your repentance;
- the chances of reconciliation will be higher if the man gives some kind of romantic gift;
- if the offense was not serious, you can solve the problem with a joke;
- Often women forget about any grievances if a man takes a big step. For example, if a lover gives a girl an expensive piece of jewelry or fulfills her cherished dream, the girl will most likely forget about any quarrel.
Money often becomes a helper in such a situation, but this does not mean that with its help you can eliminate any conflict. If a man allows himself to hit his significant other, he will not be able to pay off. This is a serious reason for divorce, which means you will have to apologize for a very long time, resorting to romantic gestures and loud promises.
Possible mistakes
- If you are planning a meeting with a young lady in order to reconcile, but at the same time some event occurs that throws you off balance, then it is better to postpone the date. Otherwise, the quarrel will only get worse.
- If the girl is not ready to see you yet and is very offended, then you don’t need to follow her, be too intrusive, or call often. Let her be alone for some time, there is no need to remind her of yourself and irritate her even more.
- If a girl calls first or somehow hints that she is ready to communicate, there is no need to pause. It’s better to immediately make contact, offer to meet and go for a walk.
- It is unacceptable to immediately insist on sex after reconciliation. At such a moment, the girl will be touched, there is no need to vulgarize everything. The exception is if the beloved begins to act on her own.
How to apologize if she's at fault
Quarrels may well occur through the fault of the girl herself, but this does not mean that she will want to reconcile. Many ladies believe that a man must take decisive steps, which means that after a silent boycott lasting several days, he will still have to apologize.
What advice can you give in such a situation?
- A man should have a serious conversation with his other half, emphasizing that they are both wrong.
- It is necessary not only to apologize yourself, but also to obtain an apology from her.
- You can arrange a romantic dinner as a sign of reconciliation.
- It is best to consolidate reconciliation with love caresses.
In such a situation, you need to put up with it not immediately, but after a few days. During this time, the spouse either herself will come to the need to apologize, or will reach such a state of moral remorse that she will quickly agree to reconciliation.
Psychologists advise never to reproach your partner or demand that he immediately admit his guilt. Careful and democratic actions are the key to strong relationships. Moreover, in most quarrels both are always to blame.
What to do if she doesn't want to talk
“Playing the silent game” is a fairly common strategy for offended women. In such a situation, psychologists advise asking your wife questions about simple, everyday topics. You need to find out if she will have dinner, ask about her day at work, and so on.
There is another way to defuse the situation. To do this, you need to start chatting incessantly, and say a variety of funny nonsense. Sooner or later the wife will not stand it and will laugh. As a result, the atmosphere in the house will turn from sharply negative to positive, and the conflict can be resolved quite quickly.
What you shouldn’t do is be like your spouse and continue to remain silent. If a man does this, reconciliation is definitely not operational. One of the parties must take the first step in order to ultimately achieve a mutual apology.
Wrong actions
According to family psychologists, most men, sincerely wanting to get their wife back, make a number of mistakes, aggravating the situation.
What not to do, top mistakes:
- Involving relatives and friends in your family problems will turn against you.
- Compare your spouse with other women, give examples of a friend’s wife, a neighbor, etc.
- Attacking while defending yourself is fundamentally wrong. If you are guilty, apologize, but throwing reproaches or accusations in the face of an offended woman is unworthy of a man.
Beg with tears.
Women a priori do not like weaklings; you need to apologize sincerely, but while maintaining your dignity. Harass and threaten. Firstly, it will push you away even more; an inadequate man in the house is a threat to the child. Threats of suicide are disgusting and disgusting, a kind of shifting your own guilt onto the shoulders of the woman you insulted. Binge drinking is a manifestation of weakness and incompetence. Drunken tears cause disgust, and rowdy behavior or the threat of violence causes fear. In addition, this is a sure path to degradation and self-destruction. Important! Do not manipulate children under any circumstances, this will not harm your wife, but the psyche of your own child.
What to write to make peace after a quarrel
Many men are not used to making excuses in person, and for them it turns out to be too difficult. This is why they prefer to apologize through letters or social media posts. What should such a message contain in order to achieve reconciliation?
- A declaration of love and a lot of romantic words.
- Unquestioning admission of one's own guilt.
- Memories of happy moments together that can touch a woman.
- If a man gave a girl nicknames, then they should also be used to break through the armor of resentment.
- It is also recommended not to blame your significant other for anything, taking responsibility for the quarrel upon yourself.
The message must be extremely touching and sincere. Most women are extremely sentimental, and if they see a touching declaration of love, they will probably not be able to resist the temptation to accept an apology.
Reason for action
If the situation is much more serious, then the first thing I suggest you do is think carefully about why you did what you did.
Let's start with alcohol. If you want to apologize for drinking, then answer a few questions: this is the first quarrel due to alcohol; why do you drink; do you have problems with alcohol?
The matter may be much more serious than just a quarrel over another trip to the bar. If you really have problems with alcohol, then ask your wife for help, admit your mistakes, and try to resolve this issue together.
Deception. It can be on any topic, for any reason. Why are you hiding something from your wife? What makes you lie to her? Behind any deception lies something more than just the desire to lie. Maybe you're lying because your wife is too suspicious, bossy, or doesn't trust you? I have two articles that will help you understand how to live with a domineering woman: "" and "".
If you hit your woman, then I have bad news for you - you did something terrible. Of course, situations are different. There are men who constantly beat their wives. And there are situations when a man simply gave a weak slap in the face in an attempt to calm the hysteria.
But that doesn't change the matter. You can't hit women. Walk away, yell at her, take her out of the room, break a cup or phone. But never lay your hands on a girl. This only shows your weakness.
Romantic Apology
It will be much easier to forgive a man if a woman receives visual confirmation of his feelings. A romantic gesture is perhaps the easiest way to achieve the desired reconciliation.
Here, not only gentle words, but also actions should be used. You can fill your beloved’s apartment with flowers or balloons. You can also write a romantic message on the asphalt, compose a poem or even a song for your other half.
A man can have a romantic date in an unusual place. All these gestures will allow the girl, if not to forget about the insult, then at least to take her mind off it. Thus, the chances of reconciliation will increase significantly.
The easy way
When you have a minor disagreement, asking for forgiveness is quite easy and simple. There is such a method in your arsenal as gifts. This could be flowers, jewelry, a trip to a restaurant, a song written in your own words, a romantic evening, and so on.
You can also arrange a surprise at home. While she is at work, fill the bathtub, pour salt or foam into it, light candles throughout the house (please remember about safety precautions), buy delicious wine or champagne. When she comes, take her to the bath, let her relax, calm down. Then give her a relaxing massage, which can gradually develop into an erotic one.
But what if the quarrel is much more serious and even a romantic evening cannot make up for your guilt? For example, after betrayal. I think there’s no need to even explain here that a bouquet is absolutely not the step that your spouse expects from you.
What to do if it comes to divorce: advice from psychologists
Sometimes all the efforts of the stronger sex are powerless, and the woman ends up filing for divorce. You must act very carefully in this situation.
Usually psychologists advise awakening nostalgic feelings in your beloved. Surely, over the years spent together, the lovers have accumulated a lot of common memories and memorable dates. So, when meeting a woman, it is better to wear the items that she gave the man for memorable dates.
You can also make appointments in cafes and restaurants that are important to the couple.
It is recommended to influence your beloved through friends and relatives. If everything around her tells her that divorce is not a good idea, she will eventually start to think so too.
And, of course, we must not forget about apologies. A man needs to admit his guilt again and again, showing with all his appearance the changes that have happened to him. In this case, it will be easier for the woman to reconcile.
Psychologists note that many couples are going through a crisis and are on the verge of divorce due to quarrels. However, if spouses love each other, they will be able to forget even the most serious offenses, finding long-awaited peace in the family.
Elena, Novopavlovsk
Frankly about painful issues: a wife wrote a poignant letter to her husband
In everyday life, men rely more on dry logic, as then the importance of the world of emotions for the fair sex is difficult to overestimate. Much is individual and depends on the type of temperament and character of a particular person, but representatives of the same sex still have common characteristics.
Comrade, I think this is bullshit. In such matters, pity and doubt are the last thing. Women love to put pressure on this. You have to cut it off in one fell swoop - ravod-suitcase-close-the-door-on-the-other-side. Dot.
By knowing how to apologize to his wife and receive forgiveness, a man can learn to repair the relationship in case of quarrels. Women are receptive, but are able to quickly forget grievances if you ask them about it correctly. Sincerity and knowledge of psychological subtleties is all a man needs to make amends. WHAT? This is the main leitmotif pulsating in my head after reading this letter. WHY did I read this? WHY did you post this here? WHY didn’t you resolve the issue after the first betrayal - discussion/psychologist/divorce/BBPE (must be emphasized)? WHAT?
