How to apologize to a friend: methods and advice from psychologists

***

You and I quarreled over a trifle, We said stupid things to each other in vain, I ask you for an apology, friend, And I hold absolutely no grudge against you. We are always a mountain for each other, And I call our quarrel a real misfortune, Let's make peace with you forever, And we will never quarrel.

***

My most faithful, best friend, I ask you to forgive me for everything. Scatter your sorrows and grievances to the wind, let them go.

I don’t wish you harm, I’m always rooting for you. You are a sympathetic and kind friend, I am proud of you as a brother.

You have become a dear person to me, I want to be friends with you all my life. Forgive me for everything I was wrong about, Let's continue to live peacefully!

***

My friend, don’t be angry, understand me, Life can be very stormy at times, It easily manipulates people, And makes us do stupid things.

And I, entangled in the web of fate, inflicted a serious offense on you. Please hear my prayers now, Because I value our friendship very much.

I know our friendship is stronger than quarrels! It may be difficult to let go of a grudge, But living without friendship is a death sentence. Please, be able to forgive me.

***

Don't hold grudges, my friend. There's no use for her: You can't see the white light, There's no appetite at lunchtime.

Your complexion suffers greatly, your mood is at zero, you are preoccupied with a vendetta, you are lost in a sad darkness.

Everyone, forget our discord, let go of the bitterness in your heart. Let there be no place for falsehood. Friend, forgive me for everything.

***

Forgive me, please, I beg. I feel guilty that this happened. I'm ashamed. I apologize for the fact that everything turned out so stupid.

I still admit my mistakes. Let's make peace, I feel bad without you. My friend, forgive me! I'm sorry! I won't do this again!

***

Life is full of unexpected events, Only you have always been faithful to me. Our friendship was inseparable. I ruined it through my own fault.

I don’t know if you will forget the rudeness that I uttered out of despair. It was not out of malice, but only out of stupidity, that I dealt this blow to our friendship.

***

My friend, I’m writing poetry for you, I ask you to forgive me from the bottom of my heart. Spare me from this shame, After all, our quarrels are muddy lakes.

They are like the threads of a spider's web, Like the dark trace of a bad painting. Forgive me, I value you, And I ask for forgiveness.

***

My friend, please forgive me, I should have done this. I will never do this again, I want to be friends with you as before and always. Forgive me, my friend, forgive me, I’m the only one screaming all day today. I think only about you all the time, Please believe me today. And I will never do that again, because I love my childhood friend.

***

How often do we not notice that we offend someone, hurt someone, then pour salt on the wounds. I’m ashamed to admit that among people I am not without sin, because you suffer because of me, you worry because of insults. I regret everything. I ask you one thing: Please forgive me, Let go of your grievances!

***

You and I did not see eye to eye, And opinions diverged on different sides, And a quarrel suddenly came like thunder, But before, everything was decided amicably by the two of us.

Apparently a black cat ran between us, And my soul became so sad, After all, a quarrel is not worth a damn, Forgive me for everything, my friend.

About guilt

It’s worth saying right away that many people, at the moment of apology, are driven by a feeling of guilt. I want to justify myself to my friend for my wrongdoings, to change what I did. Of course, there is nothing wrong with such an impulse. Moreover, psychologists say that people who have a special tendency to awaken feelings of guilt turn out to be kinder and more loyal in life.

However, the guilty person must repent sincerely, while realizing what exactly his mistake was. If this does not happen, the friend will definitely sense the catch and the long-awaited reconciliation will not take place.

How to apologize at work

When you spend a lot of time at work, unpleasant situations can happen to you. After you've made a mistake, it can be helpful to admit your guilt. Here are the basic principles of apology in a professional environment:

Take responsibility for the mistake you made and apologize;
Explain how you plan to avoid a recurrence of the incident;
Ask for forgiveness;
Express your gratitude to your colleagues and anyone you have offended.

Example of an apology at work

Dear colleagues, I should not have submitted the wrong report. I wanted you to apologize to the team for my mistake.

In the future, I will do a better job of checking my work and asking people to double-check it for me. I hope that you can forgive me for the negligence I have shown. I appreciate you and don't want to let anyone down anymore.

What do you need to apologize for?

Also, an extremely important question concerns the reason that prompted a person to take this step. Which of them are peremptory and always entail an apology?

Serious betrayal of any nature.
You should apologize if the offender seriously hurt your friend with a word or deed.
Also, words of guilt would be appropriate if, due to the actions of the offender, the property or financial situation of a friend was damaged.
Apologies are always made after fights.
It is also necessary to apologize if the offender let a friend down.

Anyone can mess up or offend, but only a morally strong person can apologize for it, and even sincerely. Next, we will look at the most effective ways to admit your own guilt.

Quarrel with a friend: a psychologist analyzes the problem

In any relationship, including friendly ones, there is a follower and a leader. To understand what to do if a friend is offended, try to analyze your friendship. Act based on which one of you is in charge. Psychologists suggest two ways of reconciliation depending on your role in the friendship:

You are a leader and must take the first step forward. Take control of the situation. As a leader, you simply must find a way out of the situation, apologize and have a heart-to-heart talk. Only a wise person who is able to use his brain and make an informed decision can behave this way. You will have to step on your own throat and ask for forgiveness if you are at fault. Otherwise, an indecisive friend is unlikely to undertake to establish peace between you.
You are a follower - wait and analyze the problem. You shouldn’t run ahead of the locomotive if you are used to giving up the palm to your friend. You have time to realize your guilt and let your friend know it, or, conversely, become convinced that your friendship is ruined. There is no need to squeeze words of forgiveness out of yourself; if you are not ready, wait for action from your leader. Let everything take its course.

Friendship is not always easy. Two different people with dissimilar characters will sooner or later find something to start a conflict about. Behave as your heart tells you. You shouldn’t break yourself if you don’t feel guilty, but it’s not a good idea to immediately run and ask for forgiveness. Before any decisive action, especially after a quarrel, it is worth thinking and drawing conclusions.

Write a letter or ask for forgiveness by phone

These are perhaps the simplest ways to make amends, because they do not involve personal contact with the person. It is important to follow the following rules:

be sincere;
apologize in this way only in case of a minor disagreement;
try to be creative;
try to make a friend laugh or touch him.

You can apologize in this way only in cases where the offense was minor.
For example, if a girl called her friend an offensive word during an argument. But if we are talking about a serious quarrel, for example, over a man, no letters will help. Psychologists advise that in the event of a serious quarrel, always make personal contact. Yes, it is more difficult, but the likelihood of resolving the conflict in the end will be higher.

Reconciliation after a strong quarrel

Sometimes the conflict is indirect, does not represent anything serious, and occurs out of stupidity. But there are also situations when two best friends fight for a serious reason. It is important to understand that after a serious scandal, the path to reconciliation can be very long. It is possible that this will take even a month. But if you are truly best friends, then reconciliation will come.

First of all, you need to understand whether it is worth putting up with at all. If the scandal was so strong, and the reason was significant, perhaps it’s time to put an end to it and not put up with it at all.
If it has been decided that reconciliation is still necessary, remember that you are adults, so you need to talk seriously and be responsible for your words. You shouldn’t resort to phrases like “you’re always quarreling,” “you always behave like this,” “but you...”, “what about yourself?”
It is extremely important to keep your conflict personal. No matter what happens to you, no matter what the quarrel was dictated by, it is unacceptable for third parties to appear between you and your best friend at the moment of reconciliation. You always need to make peace one-on-one, especially if the quarrel was serious.

It is possible that as you grow older, you or your friend has changed so much that communication has become very difficult, and conflict situations are becoming more common. Then you should take everything for granted, transfer the relationship to the category of friendships, and do not strive for closer contact.

Apologies “face-to-face” or “in absentia”

Let's try to understand in more detail who should apologize to a friend face to face. This should be done in the following cases:

if the quarrel was very large;
if a person has committed treason;
if friends have not communicated for several months, or even years;
if the method of absentee reconciliation did not help.

Sending an SMS is very simple, but not everyone can say the word “sorry” in person, looking into your eyes. This is why the courage to admit your mistakes is so valued. It is necessary to apologize in absentia if the offender was not actually to blame for the conflict, but his friend is distinguished by his temper.

Quite often, in relationships between long-time friends, someone has to make concessions because of the other person’s character traits. This is not bad at all, and the main thing is to reconcile in such a situation in time so as not to lose a reliable comrade.

SMS with an apology to a friend

Forgive me, please, I beg. I feel guilty that this happened. I'm ashamed. I apologize for the fact that everything turned out so stupid. I still admit my mistakes. Let's make peace, I feel bad without you. My friend, forget my guilt! I'm sorry! I won't do this again!

Friend, I want to apologize, Forgive me for everything, I ask you, my friend, Let go of all the insults, I promise that I won’t offend you anymore, Well, you promise me not to hold a grudge against me!

I want to offer my sincere apologies and ask for forgiveness. Life is a very complicated thing and I am lucky to have found such a good friend like you. It pains me to realize that I failed to justify the trust placed in me. Now my main desire is not to make mistakes and not bring you pain. I hope you find the strength to forgive me.

More congratulations in prose →

Forgive me, it's my fault, Believe me, I'm very sorry. I can hardly find the words, And I will be able to convince you. I didn't want to offend you, and I can say one thing. I am your friend, everyone sees this, Friends are supposed to forgive.

My friend, I was wrong! Sorry it turned out ugly. I almost broke the friendship, I'm sorry, let's forget how it all happened.

Forgive me, my dear friend, I didn’t offend you on purpose, It all turned out stupidly, all of a sudden, I regret this, for sure. Forgive me, I have changed, Now, I won’t make mistakes in the future. I sincerely apologized, I will sign every word.

Hey, that's enough, stop it, You can't be angry with me forever, My friend got lost for a while, And I need to put up with him as soon as possible. Sorry, let's forget about everything, After all, it's very lousy without you, I don't know what to do with myself, I need to talk to you urgently. After all, you are the best friend in the world, Who understands with a look, You can’t find anything like it around, And I don’t need another. So today I offer peace, I desperately need you, I ask you to forgive me, in the name of our friendship!

Well, okay, I lost my temper, which doesn’t happen to anyone, Please forgive me for this, You’re the only one who understands me, And it’s not for nothing that I call you a friend. I'm sorry, not on purpose, it happened by accident, Bad words came out absurdly, I miss you more than anyone, Forgive this stupidity, forgive me. Let us, as in childhood, remember, on our fingers, Let us now make peace with you, Don’t you dare doubt our friendship, I suggest you forget the whole incident.

You are positive, kind, nice, You make me very easy, You are positive, very bright, You are my friend, and I am lucky to have you. Although while you and I are at odds, And you are offended by me, I will not find peace for myself, Forgive me, please, I didn’t want to offend you!

Let's make peace, please. You are my friend and you are dear to me. I value our friendship, This makes it even more difficult. I can't forget, leave. I want everything back. Please forgive me for everything. I admit my guilt!

Sorry, no need to be offended, no need to sulk just like that, start smiling sweetly at me, after all, it was such a trifle. We don’t need to ruin our great friendship because of this, I’m sorry, please be there, I miss our jokes.

How to deal with apologies and how to create the right environment

After any insult, you can reconcile if we are talking about truly true friendship. However, it is very important to create the right environment. It is best to organize a meeting in a place that has meaning for both friends. For example, this could be a cafe where they always met before.

It is also important to allow enough time for the meeting. An offended friend should not think that you are in a hurry. The atmosphere should be extremely relaxed and calm. That is why it is better to choose a well-known place for a meeting without loud music, where you can have a normal conversation.

It is also important to behave correctly during the apology process. What nuances are important to take into account here?

You can't get too nervous.
You should think through your speech in advance, but not memorize it, so that the words seem more sincere.
We need to forget about arrogance and arrogance. An apology, like a handout, is unlikely to work in this case.
You can put pressure on sympathy, for example, shed a stingy tear. But bursting into sobs is not recommended.
The person should be sociable, but not overly cheerful.

Analyze the situation

Now stop and think about what happened just now. Remember what offensive words you said to your friend in the heat of a quarrel. You can’t figure out how to apologize to a friend if you’ve seriously offended him, when you can’t remember exactly how you offended him before. And in general, it’s worth making sure whether you need to apologize... There are situations when both are to blame. Accordingly, you both will have to forgive each other. The only question is who will take that all-important first step. But judging by the fact that you are still reading this article, you are wondering how to apologize to a friend. This means that you have already decided to take the first step. Before you make a plan for how to apologize to your friend, it is worth remembering the entire quarrel from the very beginning. Often people remember many unpleasant things that were already mentioned during a quarrel, but friends may forget about the very reason for it. If you managed to remember the reason for the quarrel, do not think that you should only apologize for this... This is your friend. You know better than anyone what might hurt your friend. If you were upset with him, then, most likely, you pressed on weak points without even realizing it.

Show that you are upset

Another surefire way to achieve forgiveness is to show your sadness. Girls, who can cry if necessary, use this especially skillfully. It is very important not to go too far here. Still, if a girl starts crying over a trivial quarrel, she will look ridiculous, and her apology will be insincere.

You can show your sadness using social networks, for example, by posting a photo with a friend. You can also tell them in person how the life of the offender has changed in a negative way without a friend. All this will help you find a common language faster.

Methods of reconciliation

Making a phone call is a way to reconcile with your best friend
. Let's look at exactly how you can ask for forgiveness:

send an SMS to a friend's phone;
write on a social network or messenger;
write an email or a regular one by hand;
call a friend on the phone;
video chat with a friend;
asking for forgiveness live on the radio is appropriate if you are sure that your friend is listening to this radio station at that moment;
talk in person.

When choosing the method that suits you, keep in mind that a lot depends on the specific situation. In one case, it is enough to ask for forgiveness by writing a message on the phone, in another you will have to write a whole poem explaining your behavior.

You can also read about ways to reconcile with a friend.

Psychologist's advice

Experts note that apologies will have an effect faster if a person presses on a shared past. You can come to a meeting in a dress that a friend gave to the girl. As mentioned above, it is better to schedule a meeting in a familiar and familiar place.

It is also very important to behave frankly, to say only those words that your friend wants to hear. If the quarrel was trivial, you can reduce it all to a joke. However, if a person has really done something wrong, he must speak extremely seriously in order to touch his friend.

In the event of a serious quarrel, you should not put pressure on your friend. It is unlikely that he will be able to forgive you right away, but over time, awareness of the strength of the spiritual connection will certainly come, and the conflict will be forgotten.

Choose the right time and place!

If the time and place for an apology are chosen poorly, then all your efforts will fall to dust. No one should interfere with your conversation. And your friend should definitely watch your video. Or read the letter. As for the second, you can simply “force” him to watch a video or read a letter when he comes to your friend’s house. This choice has its advantages. You will see your friend's reaction to the video or letter. If you decide to make do with a conversation, then call a friend somewhere or come to his house.

The most common mistakes when making an apology

The first and perhaps most common mistake is arrogant behavior. A person deliberately does everything to show his superiority. He apologizes reluctantly, and therefore has no desire to accept them.

Here are a few more mistakes that will doom your apologetic mission to complete failure:

apologies are made hastily, without a pre-planned plan;
during the conversation, the offender tries with all his might to prove that he is right;
an apology for a serious offense is limited to the phrase “well, sorry”;
a person tries to extract forgiveness with the help of gifts;
he throws off the blame, blaming everyone.

Psychologists advise to partially forget about pride during the conversation. Even if a guy or girl doesn’t consider themselves guilty, they should sacrifice their principles for the sake of friendship.

If the apology is made sincerely, and most importantly, in a timely manner, reconciliation will certainly be achieved.

Irina, Nevinnomysk

Original

♥ ♥ ♥

I'm a fool. I realized this. I’m ready to buy you all the Kinders in the world so that you can forgive me.

♥ ♥ ♥

We are responsible for those we have tamed. I feel like a small, abandoned puppy, left alone. I sit and just beg for forgiveness. Return me to the owner!

♥ ♥ ♥

Hello. There won't be a long text here about how I regret the quarrel. I'm used to proving everything with actions. And I am also ready to atone for my guilt by deed. Therefore, I’m waiting for you at: ….

Beautiful apologies to a girl

My lies may have been the dark clouds, but your forgiveness will be the stars and the sun in our relationship. I beg your pardon.
If you don’t see the tears in my eyes, then I beg you to at least feel the pain in my heart. I am sorry. It's sad that your love so kind was spoiled by my selfish mind.
It's sad that your so selfless love had to deal with all this mess. And now, ironically, my regret and grief are seen as fake. Tell me, what do I need to do to make you believe in the sincerity of my apology? I'm ready to do it.
My dishonest mind made the mistake of lying to you. But my heart and soul are forever devoted to love only for you. Therefore, I ask for your forgiveness.
Before you forgive me, I want you to hug me and put your hand on my heart. Maybe you'll feel it tearing apart. Because my actions caused you pain. But with every blow you will hear the words “excuse me.”
I'm sorry! Let's move from anger or resentment to love and communication, if you are ready to accept my apology. (We recommend reading ways on how you can successfully manage your anger and irritation).
I am ready to apologize to you in front of all my friends and family. And even publish your apology on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Vkontakte. So that everyone knows how sorry I am for offending you.