Fifty Shades of VKontakte dating for a girl

If you miss me, call me!

I said and hung a bell around his neck.

Greetings, O beautiful lady. How are you? I hope it’s positive, since you’re here, and we’re never bored. Today in our gazebo, I will touch on a topic about which I am often asked questions. “Volodya, you should know how to meet a guy on VKontakte? After all, you yourself have met good and sweet ladies more than once through the Internet!”

I know, I met you. But... Okay, let's go in order. Dating from a woman and a man on the Internet does not differ much in tactics and originality. But it is easier for women to initiate contact and have a higher success rate.

I suggest starting in order. Let's build our communication in the following way - I'll tell you point by point what you need to do and write, and at the end of all the advice, I'll tell you about my experience and what conclusion I came to regarding virtual searches. Agreed? That is great.

In the pictures

The main task at the first stage is to design your page so that it creates the desired presentation. You want to be perceived “correctly”, so you need to work on this. Let's start with pictures of ourselves.

• We delete photos with former boys.
• There with cigarettes, booze, syringes (a glass of champagne in a restaurant or on New Year's Eve has an amnesty under this article).
• We remove pictures where you are far away and hard to see. Also those where you are in the company of who knows who.
• If you are not alone in the pictures, a friend or girlfriend is present, then they should look adequate and match you. I'm not talking about pawing you at them. Although I already said it.
• No Photoshop. What if only a little? No, I said.
• No show-offs in the photo: with domestic currency or coins, in other people’s cars, in tons of gold, and so on.
• God forbid you forget to annihilate pictures with duck lips and posing on your i-dialer in front of the mirror. And such intellectual compositions. -87 points to the reconnaissance exit. +104 to “we’re passing by.” Let's be baptized"

• The avatar is personal only. You are in full height from a favorable angle, or with a clearly visible face up to your shoulders or waist. Pictures with cats and “depraved swan-eaters” in the same trolley with ducks and stubs.
• If you have studio filming, their presentation should be in moderation. The only exception is if you are a real model, and each photo brings a new slice of ciabatta with caviar to your regular breakfast.
• Photos must have clues. In the background on the table is a book on nuclear physics, a poster with military equipment, and a monitor with trading on the currency exchange. These things should fit harmoniously into the style of the composition. Do you get the idea?

Why it’s important to write first: the benefits of initiative

Writing first on dating sites, contrary to the stereotype “the man should make the first step,” is a commercially profitable event. Firstly, there are few girls who “write first”, and the attitude towards them is appropriate - the same reverent attitude as towards rare precious metals. Secondly, you gain the opportunity to choose among EVERYONE, and not among those who wrote to you (admit it, more than 90% of those who wrote are guys of low social demand). Thirdly, this is a useful skill in every sense - to take, and not wait. Once you become skilled at dating sites, you can use them everywhere.

Your image in his eyes

Let's move on to the general view of the page:

• The tape and the wall should be active for you. The more really attractive information there is, the better.
• Intriguing status. No snot about unhappy love. That you feel bad and lonely. “A cat with delicate paws and sharp claws, looking for someone to rub against and sharpen its nails” - it doesn’t work. “And yet something is changing...” as an example.
• A set of activities should be performed on your personal page, the result of which will demonstrate you as an independent, sought-after, elegant, feminine person.
• The overall image should be attractive to men.

• Hobbies are age appropriate. At the age of 40, you are addicted to anime... Can you imagine the type of man who would fall for such a hobby? I do. But you are definitely not on the same path with him.
• Books, music and films are classics. Both domestic and foreign. Three or five pieces. Don't do a census of the regional library. Nobody reads everything.
• No religiosity or excessive intelligence.

How to communicate to be liked?

To get a young man to like you, you should ask open-ended questions - men love to talk about themselves. You also need to adhere to the pace of communication of the interlocutor: if he responds to messages for a long time, you should not write to him without stopping.

You cannot be available for dialogue at any time of the day or night. A girl should have her own personal space, which a guy should take into account. Then he will treat his interlocutor with respect from the very beginning.

Fill out the form with a sparkle

• Items: work, study, etc. We also fill in with intrigue. If the university is prestigious, then we write directly. When you work as a personnel manager, you write: “I decide people’s fates.” Accountant: “I conjure the numbers. I marvel at the result." Did you catch the thread?
• Favorite quotes. Without going into details, I will say that it is better to use quotes from your favorite films, books or songs than quotes copied a million times from social networks
• Section about yourself. One of the most difficult. You need to interest, but not provide unnecessary information. Most of the “applicants” here complain about life or write what they want from it. You shouldn’t look here for your soul mate, destiny, be frank and blah blah. You are already self-sufficient. Smileys in the firebox. The purpose of this point is that a man should see an obstacle here and want to overcome it. Nothing specific, but provocation and mystery, humor are appropriate.

“I easily gain trust. Charming fox. 90-60-90. Adventurer for the second 90. Complete yin yang. A fair executioner. I feel comfortable with scuba gear on my back and in the kitchen with a large and sharp knife, cooking ribs with honey sauce. I sing in the bath in Spanish with an Asturian dialect. Not predictable. I achieve everything, really, hunting. There is hunting and hunting. I bite with a smile."

Is your train of thought clear? What is not clear, you are welcome to comment.

Results: 5 important rules for interesting and effective correspondence

In the meantime, while you are here and not there, download into the unconscious the basic rules (without rules, nowhere) of interesting and effective correspondence.

Rule 1. The main thing is to start

The first rule of communication on a dating site is to start a conversation. We found out that the problem of what to write to a guy first does not exist. You can indicate your interest with a banal “Hello”, testing the waters to see if your partner makes contact or only likes blondes (when you are a brunette). Or go to a higher level - compliments and immersion.

Rule 2. Be meaningful

Literary talent is an advantage, but without the right stuff, a sense of language is meaningless. Men are a different audience. They don't like beautiful quotes. The important thing is not how, but what to write to a guy to interest him. Be a brilliant communicator. Here's a recipe from Lisa Kirk: "A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is someone who talks to you about you."

Rule 3. Be correct

His ins and outs don't concern you yet. Hold back questions about your financial situation, the number of divorces, and a history of hemorrhoids. At this stage of dating, skeletons in the closet are not considered. You can arrange an interrogation with passion later. For example, before setting off to Mendelssohn's march into a brighter future.

Rule 4. Do not include “half”

As soon as you turn on your “other half”, who is bored, suffers and otherwise demonstrates their inferiority without him - well, it’s gone. Word forms that emphasize your inferiority against the background of its significance, forget like a bad dream (“I miss you,” “I miss you,” “You have become the meaning of my life”). And without esotericism (“Fate itself brought us together”).

First we think, then we knock on the buttons

Correspondence at the first stage is like walking through a minefield. But if you follow the rules and safety precautions, you can end up in the dumps.

• The first message is light, unobtrusive, without grammatical errors.
• If you started a conversation, you should also be the initiator at the first stage.
• It is advisable to write when the “victim” is online.
• If he doesn't answer right away. No need to spam. You return to the dialogue in a couple of days.
• The conversation should be exciting.
• The guy should feel good with you.
• Leave out the tricky sentences. In other words, no transcendental scholasticism.
• Stop any conversations about exes immediately. You are not a vest for snot.

How to continue communication?

When the foundation of communication has already been laid, it is necessary to ensure that the first dialogue does not become the last. To do this you need to follow these rules:

• First, maintain the conversation within the framework of the topic at hand, gradually expanding the range of interests;
• ask open-ended questions to which the guy will not give “yes” or “no” answers;
• after receiving a message from him, you don’t need to respond immediately, it’s better to wait a couple of minutes;
• a good psychological technique for approaching a real date is to write messages 2 times shorter than he sends;
• Don't overdo it with emoticons.

You shouldn't attack a guy with a lot of messages. He will consider the girl annoying, annoying, and will simply stop responding.

First words

Here you need to understand the psychology of men. Let me say briefly - it is important for us to give an answer or a solution, it is important for you to reason and worry. We start from this.

1. "Hello. I saw you on the Internet, you seemed like a smart guy. I need a man's advice. My good friend was dumped by her boyfriend via text message. Do you think this is a manly act? So, as a representative of the stronger sex, what advice would you give her?”

2. "Hello. I saw you on the Internet and thought that you could give me some good advice. I’m planning a man’s gift for my brother’s eighteenth birthday, there are tons of options, but I want something very masculine. Your girlfriends are offering to call a stripper, do you think this is a good present?”

3. "Hello. I saw you among mutual friends and decided that you were the one who could help me. My beloved cat, Julbars, dropped my dad's screwdriver. The last one is in pieces, the first one is in a pre-trial detention center. The court ordered compensation for the loss. Please provide me with all possible assistance in choosing and purchasing this light industry product. Don’t leave Murzik on planer and milk and sprat.”

The above is just the general gist of the approach. The phrases must be tested by you. But the essence is male help, advice, action. Look for specific things to write in their profiles.

What to write to the guy you like: set goals

While you're wondering what you can write to a guy, I'll ask you this question: is goal setting an important condition for success? And I’ll answer right away: yes. The destination is the point of arrival. A goal is a clearly formulated desire. Having decided on a goal, you look for (and usually find) means (words) to achieve it. Without a goal, you go somewhere and end up somewhere. Like in the fairy tale about Alice.

- Tell me, please, where should I go from here?

-Where do you want to go? – answered the Cat.

“I don’t care...” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter where you go,” said the Cat.

Don't be Alice. Set transparent goals. Be aware of why you are wasting precious time on dating sites. Are you looking for a partner for what? For example, go to galleries, engage in tantric sex, create a social unit. Each goal has its own style of communication. By the way, what a manner it is to write first. I've probably asked this question a hundred times already.

Dialogue will begin

Once the dialogue begins, the first task is to become interesting to him. But don't go too far with comfort. Don't forget about emotions.

• Don't answer immediately. You should also spend time with the Internet turned off. The constant online status suggests that she lives here. We don't need this.
• Humor, erudition, tact, friendliness, femininity are lifesavers in any situation.
• Express your thoughts directly, where there is an exact meaning.
• If you really like him, you need to make sure that he invites you on a date in real life himself. This is ideal. He is a man, he decides. Plus, if something goes wrong, all the responsibility is on him.
• Dialogue, when it fades, say goodbye until next time. Dull correspondence spoils the mood and impression.

How to meet a guy on VK if he doesn’t know you?

It is not necessary to immediately start a dialogue with the young man you like; you can first attract attention to yourself using other methods:

1. Just add as a friend. It is unlikely that any guy will ignore the mysterious beauty. At a minimum, he will ask a question about the purpose of adding as a friend. After this, you can act more actively. The main thing is to immediately interest them in a fascinating conversation.
2. Like or comment on posts on the guy’s wall. Even if the girl has not yet decided to start communicating or at least add her as a friend, you can intrigue her by liking posts on the wall of the young man you like or making relevant comments. But there is no need to overdo it - mindlessly like every post, especially immediately after publication. It’s better to respond to what you really like.
3. Join the same groups. This method is less effective than the others. Here you need to figure out what he likes. You should find common ground and try to start commenting in the group. If you show yourself on the positive side, you can gradually move into private communication.

Best conversation topics

After meeting, you need to choose the right direction in the conversation. The topic may concern his hobbies and interests, travel or professional activities. The main condition is that the first conversation should gradually move on to the proposal of a face-to-face meeting. Live communication will help you get to know each other and get closer.

About interests and hobbies

The best way to start communication is to talk about the guy's hobbies. Like a boy, he can rejoice at a new assembled model of an airplane or loyally root for CSKA. If a guy is active on a social network, you can determine his interests by his own published posts and reposts.

If your crush prefers a football theme, you can start by asking him about the score of the last match his favorite team played. It’s worth finding out the result first so as not to take the guy by surprise. When the team lost, the girl's interest will be perceived negatively. It is advisable to formulate the initial message with an indirect question. Example: “Hello! I see you support Manchester United. Yesterday the guys just tore Chelsea apart, did you see? Congratulations!".

If you ask for the score, the interlocutor will dryly write back, reporting the result, and the correspondence will not develop in the desired direction. A reminder of the victory of his favorite club will give positive emotions. The guy will be flattered that the girl shares his interests, and the phrase will be an excellent start to a promising correspondence.

READ

How to find a caring man for a serious relationship after 40

About travel

People visiting other cities and countries post photos on social networks. This will help you start a conversation with the guy. So, if he has a lot of photos from Berlin on his profile, you should ask him about his impressions of the trip and praise the photos.

You can start with the phrase: “Cool photos. A familiar place, but I can’t pinpoint it. Where is it?". The guy will begin to explain, and a positive correspondence will begin, conducive to further communication. You can talk about your travel experiences and send some photos during the conversation.

About his profession

Another good start for correspondence with the guy you like is a question about his professional or educational activities. From it you can develop a full-fledged conversation: discuss working conditions, earnings, joke about this topic.

A good initiative is to ask how your day was. This will be perceived as a sign of concern.

Getting ready to virtually meet a young man

You shouldn’t think that if the acquaintance is virtual, then you don’t need to prepare for it at all. This is, in principle, the same date, and everything should look no less worthy than at the moment of real contact with the chosen one. Before you find a guy on VK, improve such points as:

1. Moral attitude. Feel confident. Dating on the Internet is now the norm, and the first step is often taken by the fair sex. Therefore, be sure to believe that everything will work out for you and you will find your soulmate. This may not happen right away, and you will need to talk to several candidates first. But when you meet the one, you will immediately understand it - your heart will tell you.
2. VKontakte page. Before you write to the guy you like, you need to be sure that your profile looks perfect. If it's not, edit it as much as possible.

First, review all your albums and delete those photos that could somehow compromise you. For example, where you sit in an embrace with a young man or hold a cigarette or a bottle of beer in your hands. Such moments will repel the chosen one. Even if he agrees to acquaintance and communication, it will be superficial, without serious intentions. Also, photographs in which you are half-naked (and even more so completely naked) will be unnecessary. It is very important for a man that a woman always has a secret that she wants to gradually reveal. This also applies to the external image. It is better that his imagination has the opportunity to draw pictures of what is under your clothes than to see everything at once and soon become fed up with what he sees.

Secondly, put on your avatar a photo of ideal quality that maximally emphasizes your individuality. After all, it is precisely this that should first of all attract the attention of the chosen one. And if you hope for real meetings in the future, don’t overdo it with Photoshop. Otherwise, the gentleman may be disappointed.

Thirdly, edit all points of the questionnaire. It must be well composed and attract interest. In some places, details can be omitted to leave this field unexplored and desirable for future discovery of details.

Fourthly, the film should arouse keen interest. To do this, add fascinating posts, smart thoughts with a bit of humor and irony, funny pictures and photographs. The more subscribers and commentators you have, the more confident and interesting you will appear in the eyes of page visitors.

Your entire profile will serve as a starting point for a guy to create relationships of a different nature with you. After all, from the profile and photographs he will find information about you as a person, your habits, hobbies and passions, your contingent of friends and acquaintances, as well as some elements of your biography.

1. External image. Considering that your main goal is to find a life partner, you need to constantly take care of your appearance and keep your face and figure in order. After all, you won’t hide on a virtual page forever and avoid real meetings.

Now that you have prepared yourself and put your page in order, it’s time to start looking for your soulmate.

Women's mistakes

In an effort to please a guy and look cooler, many girls go too far and make serious mistakes:

1. Instead of short and succinct messages, entire letters are written. There is no need to present the text as a continuous canvas, otherwise the guy will not want to read it and determine the essence of what was written.
2. They swear. Such vocabulary does not make a girl look good in the eyes of a new acquaintance.
3. They impose themselves. There is no need to try to fill all the space in a guy’s head. It’s worth taking breaks and giving the right to take the initiative to your interlocutor.
4. They flatter. You shouldn’t waste your time and praise everything. Men are sensitive to falsehood.
5. They write illiterately. Spelling and punctuation errors do not show the girl in the best light; what is written is difficult to perceive, so the guy will not continue the conversation.
6. They go overboard with emojis. Some girls are able to encrypt huge texts with emoticons. When meeting a guy, it is better to limit yourself to 2-3 emoji in one message.

It’s easy to meet a guy on VKontakte if you prepare your profile and start correspondence with the right topic. Observing the boundaries of communication and personal space will help develop communication and not frighten off the object of sympathy.