How to distinguish politeness from courtship, or how men flirt

Male behavior often remains a mystery to women. Understanding what’s going on in a man’s head is a fixation for most women. It is not difficult to understand a man’s feelings; they are expressed in his internal state, behavior, and manner of speaking. In more than half of the cases, a woman begins to intuitively feel that a man is interested in her. How to deal with the other half of men and understand whether there is love and sincere interest? More on this later in the article.

The path from interest to love

Understanding that you like you and have sincere interest or love is pleasant for any woman, regardless of age and marital status. Girls from a very early age understand that a boy likes them, not to mention older girls and experienced women. Before the first signs of a man in love appear, time and certain stages of development of interest in a girl must pass:

External assessment of the partner as a sexual object, the attractiveness of her figure and face.
Interest in communication, desire to learn more about the girl you like.
The first attraction and desire to show sympathy, action and expectation of a reaction.
Impression from communication with the object.
Confidence that there are the first signs of falling in love and an unconscious infatuation with a girl.

If everything goes correctly and the girl responds to the manifestation of feelings adequately, demonstrating interest in return, the next stage will be the emergence of strong sympathy and love. This is still a long way off and you first need to understand whether there is love or just playful behavior that is situational and associated with a good mood or certain victories in a man’s life.

How to flirt with a girl? You have a question, and we have the answers.

Still from the film “This Stupid Love”

Before you become the boyfriend or even the husband of the girl you like, the dating and courtship stage is most likely inevitable - sorry for the brutal truth.

Another thing is flirting, which, on the one hand, does not oblige you to anything, and on the other, can always develop into something more.

And we believe that being able to flirt with ladies is as necessary a skill for a man as the ability to build a career. And if you want to improve this skill, then we have 14 useful tips for this case.

Signs of falling in love depending on a man’s age2

It is very naive to hope that an adult and accomplished man will behave like a boy and blush at every glance of his passion. It all depends on the man’s temperament and the characteristics of his behavior, but common signs in the main age groups can be identified.

Youth. At this time, boys pay more attention to the fullness of feelings, emotions and platonic love for the object. The desire to see a girl and be in her company constantly prevails. Feelings of sympathy, delight, passion mixed with jealousy, if someone approaches the adored girl, are overwhelming. Pure delight and a kaleidoscope of emotions!
A guy from 20 to 30 years old is still a boy at heart in the body of a young man. The desire to surprise and amaze, to show that he is a prince on a white horse, to shower him with gifts and to pull a star from the sky prevails. A big boy can behave both inappropriately and constrained, hiding everything inside.

From 30 to 40 years old, feelings shift more towards physical interest and the desire to be intimate in bed. A man’s actions can also be reckless, bold, with a desire to amaze in scale, attract a partner and have sex with her as quickly as possible.

From 35-40 to 45-50 years old, the actions of a man in love are dominated by reason, thoughtfulness, and interest in a woman as an individual. The desire to surprise and interest still does not disappear, but it becomes more meaningful. Falling in love no longer carries the desire to get you into bed; walks and long conversations are unlikely to interest a mature man. Every expression of love is now done with the expectation of a long-term relationship.
After 45-50 years, a man focuses on starting a family, behaves with restraint, may not open up for a long time and from the outside appears closed and withdrawn. Everything is connected with accumulated experience, partly negative.

Everything you need to know about why a guy behaves like a girl is already in our article at the link.

Body language can be telling too

Gestures and behavior can be the best indicators of flirting (or lack thereof). Friendly hugs don't last as long as flirty hugs. Someone who is just being nice is much less likely to actively touch your hand. The desire to extend tactile contact with you indicates that the person is clearly interested in continuing the relationship.

There are actually several body language clues that can indicate flirting. Some of them are more obvious, for example, approaching the face, eye-to-eye contact, seemingly “accidental” touches. Other signs are a little more subtle but can be just as convincing. Be alert if the person crosses their legs and leans toward you, or if their eyes widen when they look at you.

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Behavioral signs of a man in love3

If you need to find out about feelings and possible sympathy, you need to take a closer look at the man’s behavior. The change in relationships and manner of communication is immediately felt. Here are the top 12 signs that a man is in love:

Willingness to listen to a woman. Non-standard behavior for a typical representative of the stronger sex. Without interest in a girl, no one will agree to listen to endless stories about her problems and experiences.
At work or in everyday life, he agrees to accompany you to the most boring events, share tastes and new strange hobbies.
Interested in opinions. The simplest sign of falling in love is a sincere interest in opinions and thoughts on various topics.

Helps solve problems. Often, a man in love is the one who rushes through storms and thunderstorms at any time of the day to help the girl. Even if it seems that she is the most reliable and loyal friend, the reason for this is sincere feelings and genuine sympathy.
He becomes compliant and allows himself not to engage in long arguments, but to accept the girl’s point of view, even if he previously zealously defended his opinion.
Communication extends not only to the girl, but also to her relatives. Everyone notices the willingness to help and help out in difficult life circumstances.
She admires and compliments, even when the girl doesn’t look very attractive. In the eyes of a man, the object of adoration always looks good, and all defects or swelling are temporary.
He is ready to change plans and hobbies if his beloved does not share them.
In conversations, a man becomes focused on the future, talking about children, family, and travel.
Shy and modest becomes open to the struggle for the attention and sympathy of the object of adoration. A man is not shy to show himself, emphasizes his superiority.
A girl's successes are always assessed with praise. Even if they are work colleagues, there is no hostility or spirit of competition.
The man emphasizes his reliability, is always the first to come to the rescue, protects and protects the girl from aggression and attacks.

The described qualities characterize a man’s behavior, no matter at work or in a friendly company. He strives to show his best qualities and does most of his actions unconsciously, intuitively. Here it is worth paying attention to nonverbal communication. It is not difficult for an astute woman to notice gifts, flowers and a desire to help. But what if in a common company or at work there is a guy for whom it is not clear whether there is sympathy or not? Non-verbal signs of a man in love will help you decipher feelings.

How to understand that a guy likes you in the most difficult situation? The answer follows.

Reasons for male flirting

Male flirting is behavior aimed at attracting the attention of the woman he likes. Men are quite straightforward by nature and certainly never do anything without obvious reasons. If they start flirting, it means they have a specific goal that they want to achieve.

Important

Often, male flirting is completely innocent and does not involve dragging a woman into bed, but it is still worth considering all the possible outcomes of such games.

If we consider the most common reasons for male flirting, then it is definitely worth mentioning such as:

The hunter's instinct can rightfully be considered the most popular reason for male flirting. In this case, the inability to determine one’s desires can be expressed in uncontrolled attention. In simple words, hypersexual “males” begin to flirt left and right, simply collecting potential lovers. Most often, this behavior is characteristic of morally weak individuals.
Revenge on the “cunning ladies.” If a man is faced with betrayal by his beloved, then he may be visited by the thought of revenge on the entire female race. He can begin to conquer women's hearts and take emotional advantage of them. The negative experience of past love can develop into such a destructive form.
Thirst for self-affirmation. Often a man wants to impress his friends and finds no better way than to brag about his heartfelt victories. By and large, here we are talking about a certain sense of herdism, which does not paint a man as a potential life partner.
Intoxication is also a common cause of male flirting. Experiencing a certain inner uplift inspired by alcohol, a man wants the affection and attention of a beautiful lady, which he tries to achieve with unobtrusive advances. Moreover, while under the influence of alcohol, a man most often does not care who he flirts with, which may well have unpleasant consequences for both him and his possible partner.

In rare cases, the reason that pushes a man to flirt may also be his sexual preoccupation. But in this case we are talking about erotomania as a deviation and with excessive activity the question of the need for therapy will arise.

Nonverbal communication as a method to decipher feelings4

Body language, gestures, facial expressions will tell about a man’s true feelings just as well as gifts and compliments. It's no secret that lovers' eyes give them away. A man’s energy changes and one feels an inner glow and warmth, peace of mind, and a light half-smile hints to others that he is far in the clouds and is not worried about pressing problems.

When communicating with a man, the first thing you need to pay attention to is posture and body language. When the object of sympathy appears on the horizon, vanity and slight excitement begin, hands do not find a place and often, in order to hide this, a man hides them in his pockets, touches his belt or puts his hands on his waist in order to unconsciously look more confident. Then the man will definitely become dignified, turn his chest and shoulders towards the object of his love.

The body demonstrates confidence and the desire to show itself as an advantageous partner compared to other men. This is not consciously controlled, behavior changes automatically, nature has provided men with mechanisms of unconscious behavior to attract a partner.

Psychologists say that a person transmits about 50% of information using non-verbal signals. And the face reflects all the emotions that the man carefully tries to hide. The eyes always glide over the woman's body, without focusing on the chest. The gaze of a man in love wanders during her conversation with someone, appraising. When a conversation is being conducted with him, the pupils are dilated, and he practically does not take his eyes off his face, looking at his interlocutor for a long time and warmly. The eyebrows rise slightly, the nostrils flare, the breathing becomes deeper.

A gentle smile constantly wanders on his face; the most stern and reserved man smiles with his eyes. The emotions when communicating with the person you are in love with are genuine. A gaze is replaced by constant visual control of the object of love, the desire to be close and to prevent rivals from approaching always takes over.

In addition to facial expressions and body language, you need to pay attention to speech. All signs of a man in love, one way or another, with good self-control can be hidden or disguised. It will take years of practice to mask your speech and completely control your trembling voice. During a conversation, a man tries to make his potential partner laugh; at the first words, his voice trembles treacherously and he wants to clear his throat and slightly lower the timbre of his voice. Smooth and beautiful speech becomes confused, more emotional coloring, details, jokes, and metaphors appear.

At the same time, there is active gesticulation and slight swaying of the body. It is very important that when telling jokes and stories, a man looks at the object of his love and tries to capture her emotions and mood. Nonverbal communication gives strength and desire to behave more relaxed, to take risks and return again to the time when he was a boy and his voice trembled from his first confessions, his palms sweated, and his face constantly changed all shades from snow-white to crimson.

Married and in love5

A man free from a permanent relationship is always open to communication, is not afraid to show emotions, is open and frank in his feelings.

It happens that a married man begins to feel sympathy and love. Naturally, he behaves closed and in the presence of his other half tries to completely control himself. Holding on constantly and not showing interest even with the slightest gesture or glance will not work. Married men also have signs of falling in love:

shows interest in personal problems and concerns, offers help, contacts with specialists, or is ready to solve the problem with his own hands;
tries to do business together, gives rides after work, helps carry heavy things, offers to have lunch together;
gives small surprises, gifts or other signs of attention;
does not hesitate to lie to his wife in front of the object of his sympathy;
when the person of interest appears, he becomes poised, twirls a key or a ring on his finger in his hands, his hands are free to move or hold on to the belt;
tries to be closer and reduce the distance.

Psychology of male flirting

Flirting can be compared to one of the forms of communication between representatives of different sexes. This is nothing more than one way to get pleasure, and it does not imply sexual activity. With the help of signs of attention, a person can satisfy his needs without special expenses.

You are not confident in yourself and with the help of flirting you have a chance to increase your self-esteem. All your adult life you have felt deprived of affection and tenderness, and now you can compensate for the lack of warm feelings and emotions. Every person wants to receive attention and give warmth in return, and it is with the help of flirting that this need can be realized.

Important

It is worth mentioning that flirting is not considered as a method of manipulation, although some may use it for similar purposes.