A man wrote that he loves: is it worth believing? ⇒ Blog of Yaroslav Samoilov

When a girl confesses her love to a guy, she is expressing her true sympathy. But for representatives of the stronger sex, everything is different. A man can calmly confess his love, although his feelings will be far from real. Why do they do this? And how should a woman behave if a man wrote that he loves him, but did not say anything like that out loud? This will be discussed in our article.
From this article you will learn:

Why do men even confess their love?
How to properly respond to a declaration of love
How to understand a man's feelings if you communicate on the Internet
What declarations of love should not be trusted

Why do men confess their love?

Representatives of the stronger sex do not always talk about their feelings just like that. As a rule, if a man wrote that he loves, it means that he is pursuing some goals.

The desire to get a girl into bed. No matter how cynical it may sound, it is true. Many guys see nothing wrong with using a love confession in order to get the coveted prize - sex. For them this is a kind of ritual. When men write that they love, they often forget to clarify that we are talking about a woman’s body, and not about her soul or personality. Although it is difficult to accuse them of lying. After all, there are feelings, albeit not as noble as the girl hopes for. If a man wrote that he loves, then he himself believes in the sincerity of his confession. But only until the moment when real feelings come to him. Then the guy begins to understand the difference between physical desire and sincere, high emotions.
Because it’s necessary. Most ladies (sometimes at the most inopportune times) have a way of asking their partner: “How do you feel about me?” Naturally, it’s easier for a man to write that he loves him than to go into lengthy explanations of why he doesn’t. After all, this is how it is supposed to be: if two people are together, then they must experience real sympathy for each other.
Affection. If a man wrote that he loves, it is likely that he just likes his partner. Most likely, the young man enjoys spending time with this woman, he is delighted with her appearance, and in general, he feels good in her company. That's why he admits his feelings. After all, when a man wrote that he loves his girlfriend, he is not lying. There really are feelings, but as for a friend or family member. And it’s not scary that machos have a lot of such “close people”. The main thing is that he doesn’t lie to anyone, but feels sincere emotions towards everyone.
The feeling of being in love. You should not scold representatives of the stronger sex for being excessively passionate. If a man wrote that he loves, he actually believes in his words. At this moment in time, he is truly passionate about his passion. Unfortunately, a guy's crush can evaporate in one day. As soon as another woman appears in the womanizer’s field of vision, he immediately forgets about his sublime feelings and begins to court his new victim.
To get the girl back.

When a woman gets tired of a hopeless relationship that, in her opinion, will never lead to anything serious, she decides to leave the guy. The girl no longer intends to take responsibility for her couple instead of the young man. She sharply and without a drop of doubt says to her sweetheart: “I’m sorry, but we can’t be together anymore! You and I are not on the same path.” The partner, who never expected such a trick, is speechless. He cannot understand why the lady of his heart is not satisfied with the relationship. A man can write that he loves him because he does not want to lose the comfort and tranquility to which he is so accustomed. He knows perfectly well what strings need to be pulled to melt a woman’s heart. The young man uses a declaration of love as the final argument in favor of the return of his chosen one. For a guy, it's like pulling the parachute ring at the last moment. Well, gullible ladies, as a rule, melt from such unfounded confessions, and everything starts anew. The man will again continue to drag his feet and not take any steps to create a future together. This will last until the girl again decides that it’s time to call it a day.

Maybe he's just using

Women's naivety sometimes gives men a chance to benefit from relationships.
How can you tell if he loves you or is just using you? The easiest way to figure out the gigolo. Particularly arrogant examples ask for money directly, while those who are more cunning complain about financial difficulties. Compassionate girls part with their blood, and the guy successfully retreats to the next victim. You should not borrow money from a man, regularly pay for his purchases and restaurant bills. Another reason for a selfish attitude towards a girl is intimacy. To get him, the guys are ready to sing serenades and hang noodles. If after sex a man loses interest, if he tells everyone he knows about his next victory, then, alas. His feelings are probably fiction. When a guy truly loves, he keeps his mouth shut.

Is it worth believing if a man wrote that he loves

Online dating is a fairly common way of communication. Thanks to social networks, people have the opportunity to correspond with like-minded people from all over the world. Unfortunately, it is difficult to verify the sincerity of the feelings of the interlocutor who is on the other side of the monitor. It is difficult to understand the real intention of an online acquaintance, and his excessive sociability does not indicate the seriousness of the relationship. Every girl has a wild imagination and sometimes looks for feelings where there are none. Sometimes she thinks: “If a man wrote that he loves me, then I cannot doubt his intentions.” But to understand whether a guy actually feels sincere sympathy, you need to look at the entire history of communication.

Internet correspondence reveals many character traits of interlocutors. You need to carefully analyze why the man wrote to the girl, what he loves, at what time and what wording he uses.

It’s great if the foundation for correspondence is mutual trust between people. What's the point of communicating if you don't feel like you're a soul mate? In their SMS, the interlocutors tell each other about their lives, exposing their feelings to a virtual listener. When a woman communicates with a man, in person or online, she needs to note the extent to which he is open with her. It is important to analyze how friendly, honest, and correct he is in his statements.

A man can easily write that he loves, but the girl will not know how to respond to such a confession. Therefore, you need to learn to distinguish a real feeling from ordinary idle talk. Perhaps the pen pal communicates in this manner with all his virtual friends. It’s not at all difficult to catch a lover of light Internet flirting in a lie. It is enough to carefully read the texts of his messages and the style of their design. Pay attention to:

Lots of exclamation marks. Their frequent use indicates excessive emotionality of the interlocutor.
Frequent use of emoticons. With their help, a man wants to more accurately express his experiences.
Errors. If a young man writes correctly, it means he wants to make a positive impression on the girl. And he immediately corrects accidental typos.
Voluminous messages. The interlocutor who sends long messages wants to tell a lot of information about himself and get to know his new friend better.
Video and photo. In this way, a man can convey his feelings to a woman, cheer her up, and make her smile.

Every girl should clearly understand that communication by correspondence is significantly different from real life and meeting “live” can disappoint her. In fact, interlocutors may not meet each other's expectations. A date in reality can either disappoint or, conversely, turn out to be much better than expected.

How to get a man to propose:

How to understand a man's feelings by correspondence

The abundance of letters that come from the young man clearly indicates his sincere sympathy.
At the same time, he will not be intrusive and will always clarify whether the girl is comfortable communicating with him. A guy who truly sympathizes with his interlocutor will worry if she doesn’t get in touch for a long time. If a man wrote that he loves him and disappeared for several days, then you should think about the sincerity of his confession. Factors that indicate the true feelings of a pen pal:

Duration of communication. It is necessary to analyze the period of time online interlocutors communicate. Of course, it will be difficult to draw any conclusions if the correspondence lasts a couple of days. But if the dialogue has been going on for several months, then this indicates serious interest.
The liveliness of the conversation. By looking at the correspondence history, the girl will be able to understand how active the dialogue is between her and this guy. If they communicate daily, then this is a sure sign of the young man’s sympathy. It is difficult to justify a man who disappeared from the Internet for a long time after he wrote that he loved him. A partner will always have time for a woman who evokes real feelings.
Who does the initiative come from? A man in love will always be the first to write and greet his passion as soon as he sees her online. If the girl is constantly the initiator of communication, then he is unlikely to remember her at all and wait for her to be online.
Topics for discussion. The issues that a guy raises while communicating with a woman reveal his true level of interest. A man is truly passionate about a lady if he asks her: - what is her favorite book; - what kind of films does she like;
- how was the day;
— when they have a “live date.”
Many men are shy and hesitant to talk about personal topics. But girls can be the first to start a conversation, turning the dialogue in the right direction. It happens that a guy is not at all interested in what is happening in his girlfriend’s life. He sees her not as a person, but only as a sexual object.
Emotionality of communication.

If a man wrote that he loves him and inserts a lot of emoticons, exclamation marks, and compliments into his messages, then this indicates his excitement. Such expressiveness reveals the strength of his feelings for the girl.
Showing care and attention. The guy likes new photos of his pen pal, comments on her every post, that is, he actively shows interest in her life.
His friends have subscribed to the girl’s page. The lady may notice that her photos on social networks are viewed by her virtual boyfriend’s friends. Consequently, the guy shared his feelings with them and talked about his new lover.

If a guy is in love with a girl, how does he behave?

Human body language works at the level of instincts. When one person sympathizes with another, his gestures and behavior change noticeably. In search of an answer to the question of how to understand whether a guy loves you, you can use the “mirror effect.” Its manifestations are associated with the desire to please the lady. It has been scientifically proven that when a guy truly loves, he unconsciously copies the behavior. Sometimes a man “mirrors” only some manners, in other cases he repeats the movements completely.

In order to understand that a guy truly loves and needs you, you should study him in the company. A sympathetic man takes an open pose, turns the toes of his shoes towards the lady of his heart. After a successful joke, the lover laughs, looking into the eyes of the object of his feelings. He actively supports the conversation, tries once again to be close and, as if by accident, touch the girl.

A guy in love will try to show concern

TOP 10 terrible responses to declarations of love

It is usually assumed that a representative of the stronger sex should take the initiative and be the first to speak about his feelings. Of course, any girl will be pleased if a man wrote that he loves her. Even if she doesn't reciprocate his feelings. In such a situation, there is no need to offend the young man with phrases like: “Congratulations!”, “But I don’t love you!”, “Thank you!” And so on.

Such mocking words can deeply hurt a man who wrote that he loves, stepped over his own dignity and was not afraid to openly express his feelings. There is no need to treat it this way:

Ignoring a message is the hardest thing. If a girl saw a message where a man wrote that he loves her, then she needs to respond to the SMS.
Impersonal confirmation that the letter has been viewed: “Ok.”
Vague answer: “How cute!”
If a man writes that he loves you, you shouldn’t answer him cruelly: “But I don’t love you!”
The worst answer is: “Not that! Why did you say that?!”
Humorous response: “Yes? And I love candy."
A frightened “Oh!”
"I know it!".
Narcissistic answer: “And I simply adore myself!”
Well-mannered response: “Thank you very much!”

A wise woman will never respond to a confession of feelings in one of these ways. If she does not have reciprocal emotions, then there is no need to give false hope to the guy. It is necessary to directly but tactfully tell your pen pal the truth. A woman must choose the right words that will convey to her interlocutor that she does not want to lose his friendship, but he should not count on more, she will not be able to love him. Sometimes ladies resort to excuses and try to prove to their chosen one that they will not be able to make him happy. But such words will only aggravate the awkward situation and upset him more. If a man wrote that he loves him, but he was not reciprocated, he already feels awkward, so you shouldn’t hurt him more.

If a woman feels sympathy for a guy, but this is not yet about deep feelings, then she needs to openly write to him about it.

Do you want a decent man? Then remember this phrase: “you are a smart man.”

Every man considers himself smart. But many girls think that if you give such compliments to men, then he will relax, he will sit on his neck. Just try it. You can try this in any situation. The man talks a lot. What does he want to hear? He wants to hear how smart he is. Mom didn't tell him.

How did most mothers raise their sons? “You’re bad, you’re doing it wrong, you’re doing it badly.” And she thinks that now I will criticize him, and he will become better. And you also look at your mother, grow up and think that you need to criticize your husband, a man on a date, and then he will have a desire to become better.

Do you want to know what a man needs to make you happy? Sign up for a free online course Man: honest instructions

What declarations of love should alert you

Every male action needs to be carefully analyzed. Often, if a man wrote and said that he loves, this does not always turn out to be true.

Any declaration of feelings that is not uttered personally by the young man should arouse suspicion in the girl. There is a possibility that this is just a joke, especially if the man wrote that he loves him, using emoticons and photographs with hearts.
The guy confesses his love in a too solemn atmosphere. Perhaps the young man loves to be the center of attention, and he will quickly get bored with a quiet family life.
The guy declared his feelings under the influence of alcohol. Of course, it’s good if a man wrote that he loves him, not under the influence of such “dopings”. To make sure of the sincerity of feelings, you need to wait until he repeats the confession in a different setting. A woman needs to analyze not only the guy’s words addressed to her, but also his actions.
The man wrote that he loved him only after a quarrel or breakup. He simply did not have time to think about his relationship.
The man wrote that he loved him literally after the first meeting. You should not take such a confession seriously. Most likely, this is just a way of communicating.
In response to a declaration of love from a woman, the guy only vaguely whispered “Me too.” The young man is simply not yet ready for decisive action. Everything has its time.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.
More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.
My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

The opinion of psychologists about male feelings and affections

The opinion of psychologists regarding certain emotional states cannot be unambiguous. No self-respecting psychologist would dare to put everyone under the same brush. Psychologists do not consider love to be a banal chemistry or an instinct for procreation. Their opinion agrees that love as such is dictated by both internal impulses and social nuances, but is still based on something instinctive. Roughly speaking, a man loves, and society dictates how to love.

Society, psychologists believe, imposes certain behavioral stereotypes on men. This also applies to expressions of love. Let's say a man is supposed to always be the initiator of relationships. And there is also an opinion that he must definitely give the girl flowers if he loves her. And give some stupid toys, again, if he loves you.

Psychologists are of the opinion that the majority act according to this pattern, even if it is against their nature. This is the initial problem of understanding men's feelings. If socially acceptable patterns of behavior in case of falling in love disgust him, but he forces himself to follow them, it often looks ridiculous and insincere. The result: the man is misunderstood, and the woman intensively asks her friends and psychologists for advice on the topic of the young man’s strange behavior.