Psychology
- External reasons
- Human behavior
- How to connect with people
It happens that a person cannot find friends and a social circle due to the fact that they do not want to communicate with him. A person can be friendly and non-confrontational, but communicating with people is difficult for him. There are external and internal factors that may cause other people to avoid communication. You can correct this situation and win over those around you if you understand the reason for such hostility.
External reasons
People may not want to interact with a person because of reasons related to his appearance - for example, if the person smells bad . Often you may not realize it yourself, but those around you will avoid such a person. Smell, according to psychologists, plays an important role in the communication process. Polite people will never directly talk about an unpleasant smell, so a person needs to understand it himself. If a person knows that he sweats a lot, then he needs to take care of his hygiene. The same applies to the smell of garlic and onions.
Paradoxically, even pleasant smells can repel.
If you are used to using long-lasting, rich perfume, then know: not everyone can tolerate strong aromas, especially in the heat
If you have problems with communication, you need to take care of your appearance. This does not mean that you need to regularly visit a beauty salon or wear only the most fashionable clothes. This applies to basic hygiene rules : clean hair, fresh and ironed clothes, neat nails, clean shoes.
If they don't want to communicate with you, pay attention to your appearance
Ways to influence a woman
To correct the situation as quickly as possible, guys should know what exactly they need to tell a girl if she doesn’t want to communicate, and how to behave with her. In this case, psychologists recommend using proven methods that will help you get your lover back.
READ What to do if a guy is offended: signs of offense and ways to atone for guilt
Through friends
Silence and women are incompatible things. You can use this. If your chosen one refuses to communicate, you should talk to her friend. At the time of conversation, you need to talk about your feelings for your beloved and experiences. Here you need to be careful so that your friend does not guess the plan. In the end, she will explain why the girl no longer wants to communicate with you.
It is also recommended to focus on the seriousness of your intentions. With this gesture, the guy will make it clear that he can change for the sake of his beloved. To fully gain your friend’s trust, you can give her a compliment or thank her for the meeting. As a result, she will have a positive impression of the guy, and she will convey the essence of the conversation to her chosen one.
Risk
You need to stop seeking the favor of your beloved for a while and think about self-development. For example, you can play sports, find a new hobby, or get a well-paid job. Noticing these changes, the woman herself will take the initiative and begin communication. Deep down, she will regret what happened and be afraid of losing the young man.
But this method may not work. Women have different views, so their reactions cannot be predicted. Don’t be discouraged and upset if you couldn’t get it back.
Insidious way
This option is considered the most dangerous for relationships. To attract the attention of your beloved, you need to woo another woman. This could be a friend or acquaintance of the chosen one. It is best to choose a spectacular contender, of whom anyone will be jealous. Seeing a guy with someone else, a woman will want to get rid of her competitor.
As a result, they will become enemies, and the man will get his way. At the same time, the beloved will look at the young man differently. In her eyes, he will look more attractive, since other young ladies are interested in him.
Demonstration of changes
Having achieved its location, you need to show the changes. But you shouldn't talk about it directly. A woman must independently notice changes in her manner of speech, train of thought and appearance. During the conversation, you need to mention the work done. If she shows signs of attention, then there is a chance for a reunion. The main thing is to come to a compromise and forget old grievances.
Romantic actions and gifts
Many men try to improve relationships with romantic actions and gifts. For example, it could be a bouquet of your favorite flowers, a serenade under the window, or poetry. The list can go on forever.
Such actions always help to achieve a girl. At the same time, the young man will understand the real intentions of his beloved. To do this, you need to use gifts as bait. If the chosen one arrogantly accepts the gift, doing a favor, you need to say goodbye to her immediately. Such relationships have no future, since she is only interested in money and attention. She ignores and gets offended just so she can get gifts for it.
Breaking up is a difficult stage for both partners, but a love crisis will help the young man assess the situation. This is a great chance to reconsider your relationship with your chosen one and understand what feelings you have for her. If a woman ignores, it is necessary to understand the reasons for her behavior. This will help in the future to avoid mistakes and possible breakdown of new relationships.
Now every man knows how to understand that the girl he loves really doesn’t want to communicate, and also what provokes a woman’s ignorance. To improve your relationship with your beloved, you need to listen to the advice of psychologists.
Human behavior
If everything is in order with his appearance, the person is well-groomed and neat, but those around him still avoid him, then the reason may be in his behavior.
For example, inappropriate jokes . A sense of humor is always good, but jokes must be funny and timely. People around, afraid of offending a person, may not tell him about his inappropriate humor, and will simply stop communicating with him. If you like to joke, then think about whether others like your jokes? Humor should not be vulgar, offensive, obscene, or affect the appearance and personal qualities of people. If you don’t know a person well, then it is better to avoid jokes when communicating with him.
People can be put off when a person talks about themselves too much . If a person constantly talks only about himself, then others may perceive him as an egoist.
Communication ethics allows you to talk about yourself, but only when asked about it
You should not tell others too personal or even intimate information about yourself, as this can cause embarrassment.
When communicating, avoid making inappropriate jokes and talking a lot about yourself
What else could turn others off?
- Imposing your opinion . Every person has the right to express their point of view, but it cannot be imposed. This is especially true for religion and politics - it is better not to touch on these topics in communication at all. In a dialogue, you should not discuss only those topics that are interesting to you: the issues being discussed may not be of interest to your interlocutor. Always try to talk about topics that are interesting to others.
- Discussing other people . Under no circumstances should you gossip or discuss other people behind their back. If a person is known as a gossip, then few people will want to communicate with him. You should not interfere in other people's affairs and give advice to others unless you are asked to do so.
- Inability to carry on a conversation . Not all people know how to clearly formulate their thoughts. The use of unnecessary words, excessive talkativeness, or, on the contrary, monosyllabic answers from which little can be understood can irritate your interlocutors.
Others are repulsed by the imposition of their opinions
Create interest in yourself
As for the standard set of questions that are usually asked during small talk, it is too limited and boring, and your task is to interest your interlocutors. Don’t be lazy to prepare interesting answers to the most common questions in advance. Any conference involves a thousand identical questions in the spirit: “What are you working on now?”, “What’s new with you?” and so on. It would be a great remiss on your part to come up with answers right away or, even worse, to respond with neutral phrases that do not arouse any interest among your interlocutors (“I’m not doing anything special,” “nothing new is happening”). This way, you will immediately give the impression of a boring person and those around you will not have the slightest desire to continue the dialogue with you. The situation will be different if you come up with answers that can “add fuel to the fire” and stir up interest in you. People should be willing to ask you more about everything.
How to connect with people
Follow the basic rules of communication: be welcoming, friendly, polite, smile at others. But you shouldn’t do this deliberately and feignedly, otherwise it will only scare away your interlocutors.
In communication, especially if these are not close friends and relatives, you should not go beyond personal boundaries
Do not enter into conflict, do not be rude or disrespectful to others - these are generally accepted principles of communication that everyone should follow at all times.
In any situation, remain polite and friendly
In a situation where others don’t want to communicate with you, you shouldn’t impose yourself too much on them, but you can take the initiative:
- Start a dialogue, trying to talk less about yourself and be more interested in the life of your interlocutor.
- Bring up topics that interest you both.
- Be brief and to the point, but avoid monosyllabic answers.
- There is no need to talk about your problems or complain - leave this for those closest to you.
If it is difficult for you to communicate with people, maintain a conversation, or you cannot cope with uncertainty, then read special literature that will teach you the techniques of competent communication - for example, these could be Dale Carnegie’s manuals.
Get support
You should not withdraw into yourself and experience the situation alone, this can drive you into deep depression. Talk to your relatives, you can share this problem with them, now you need to talk it out to someone in order to make you feel better. Also have fun, entertain yourself as much as you can, go to the movies for something fun or go on a picnic with your family, do everything that will help you not get hung up on this situation. If you do not have enough strength and you are very acutely experiencing a break in friendship, in this case, consult a psychologist; very often such questions end in a successful solution to such a problem.
Isn't this your joint, Bombino?
And there is a situation when you really did something crap and he justifiably criticizes you for it. It’s you, brother, who have already messed up – you need to correct yourself. When you do someone shit, even accidentally, then, of course, you need to apologize. Even admitting it, looking at it honestly, can be difficult.
One day we were hanging out at the pioneer camp. And for one weekend, a bunch of guys went home on leave. And Dimka also left. But his girl remained. In general, there were few guys left and in order not to get bored, she and I went to wander around the area. I must say that I really liked her, so when we were walking, I looked after her: I took her on a catamaran ride and picked a water lily.
It was just a wonderful day that she and I had a great time together. And the next day Dimka returned and said to me: “Andryukha, why did you hit my girl?” To this I answer him in fear: “Nothing happened, Dim.”
But in fact it was. It was a young time, we had no debauchery. There wasn't even a banal kiss. But, in fact, the fact of courtship was present. And just like that, in a good way, I would like to admit it. And I chickened out. Well, I lost a friend.
