Falling in love is a tender feeling. It leaves pleasant memories of the period and the person even many years later. Passion overwhelms the consciousness, causes excitement, sweeping simultaneously in a storm of languid happiness and bitter experiences. Unfortunately, sometimes, under the influence of surging emotions, we confuse love with a banal habit, passion, ordinary sympathy, in vain encouraging our partner and wasting our time. In this article I will tell you how to understand that you have truly fallen in love with a guy.
The main signs of falling in love
Among the main hints of love are:
- Constantly high spirits and expectation of a miracle.
- An overwhelming feeling of happiness and joy.
- Thoughts and dreams about the object of desire. You will want to be constantly nearby, spend all your free time together.
- Sudden initiative, activity, desire to “move mountains,” get a new education, or anything that previously seemed difficult and impracticable.
Love, affection or sympathy
When experiencing attraction to the opposite sex, it is very difficult to immediately understand the sensations. To begin with, it is worth analyzing all the concepts.
Love
The feeling of love is distinguished by a strong emotional component, attraction, attraction. We blindly rush towards the goal, not noticing a person’s shortcomings, we extol him above the clouds.
Attachment
This is a habit that manifests itself in the desire to wake up, walk, cook, watch movies together. It is most clearly expressed after a breakup. This is a kind of dependence on the object. With the usual algorithm, relationships freeze in one place and do not develop, are not supported by emotions, but are considered the most reliable and strong.
Sympathy
We feel an emotional connection and a closeness of spirit. In this case, age or gender does not matter. Sexual motives are completely excluded here. Most often, sympathy arises against the background of common interests and support.
Signs that I'm in love: how to recognize love
This is the deepest sympathy developed against the background of falling in love. It assumes selflessness, complete acceptance of a person with his shortcomings. It can also take place without a sexual component. For example, love for parents, children, animals.
It does not appear out of nowhere, but develops gradually, filling you more and more every day from the inside. Feelings become deeper and more conscious. You have only one interest and all other men are unable to impress.
Differences between infatuation and love
The feeling of being in love flares up instantly, sometimes at first sight. The passion boiling inside will not force you to give up your own benefits for the sake of the object of desire. The desire to see him will become selfish rather than sacrificial. We will be offended if we do not receive similar reciprocal behavior from our partner. All this speaks of falling in love.
Love presupposes selfless help, participation in all life processes of the beloved, empathy without claims and reproaches. Sometimes this feeling is accompanied by jealousy, irritability, depression, and mood swings.
How to know you're in love - 25 signs
- You want to talk about family, children and the further development of relationships.
- There are thoughts about the wedding in my head.
- There is a desire to sing, dance, and enjoy everything in the world.
- Sometimes you accidentally call him by the name of other people around him.
- You easily forgive all oddities.
- Musical preferences change towards the hobbies of your loved one.
- Interest in previous hobbies wanes.
- You are willing to sacrifice your time and activities to be around him more.
- You don’t notice his shortcomings point-blank and constantly justify them.
- An unreasonable smile often appears on the face.
- Sometimes you act absent, completely lost in thoughts about your partner.
- The scenario of the next date is scrolling through my head, what needs to be said, what to interest.
- A kind of rehearsal for a meeting. You look forward to messages or a call, you can not let go of your smartphone for hours or update your page on a social network.
- You don’t fall asleep for a long time, dreaming about your lover.
- Another way to understand that you are in love is to analyze your reaction to words. Criticism from him is perceived extremely negatively and makes you depressed, while with a compliment you fly higher than the sky.
- Constantly talk about it to your family and friends, listing its endless advantages.
- You spend more time on your appearance, try to put on beautiful makeup, choose clothes and accessories.
- You begin to see signs in all events: you were at the same event, participated in a competition together, or studied at school. This means that we have definitely found the other half.
- The girl becomes prone to rash actions: “accidentally” ending up at his entrance, finding a reason to call.
- Creative abilities appear: you want to write him a heartbreaking message, a poem, or prepare a treat.
- Feels a sudden surge of energy.
- An easy way to understand if you are in love is to listen to your body. When we meet, the heartbeat quickens, it makes you feel hot, and your face turns red.
- Do you want to be aware of everything that happened in his life.
- You dream of physical intimacy: kisses, passion, hugs.
- I want romance, spend an unforgettable evening, day together, go on a trip.
Hoax
In a state of love, girls often mystify current events and look for a secret meaning in everything.
Signs of a girl's crush: Pixabay
Mystification is a natural psychological reaction that, at the subconscious level, tries to explain the reason for such strong feelings for a person, to make them objective and rational.
It is difficult for a lady in a state of love to analyze and explain why this particular person awakened feelings in her soul. She begins to look for hidden meaning in everything, to mystify what is happening in order to prove to herself that the guy is her destiny.
Incidents from life, significant and insignificant coincidences are perceived by the lover as a series of events that led her and her loved one to the meeting point. For example, she learned that:
- he studied at the same school as her;
- they have mutual friends;
- they live in the same area.
The girl draws mystical parallels between completely unrelated facts, in which she finds confirmation that he is destined for her.
Test: how to understand and find out if I'm in love
A small test that will help you recognize how strong your feelings are:
Psychologist Daria Milai
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- Do you understand each other?
- We don't know each other well yet.
- There have already been several dates, but it’s too early to give a clear answer.
- Yes.
- Do you support each other?
- Just out of politeness.
- One person clearly shows more compassion.
- Yes, we care about each other;
- How do others perceive you?
- Like acquaintances.
- Like those who try hard to hide the connection.
- Like a couple.
- Have you visited him?
- No.
- No, but we are going to.
- Yes.
- Are there any joint plans for the future?
- No.
- Yes, but nothing serious, just talking about the next date.
- Yes, we are planning a summer vacation together.
Everything is very simple. If the majority of answers are 3, you are clearly in love, if 2, it’s too early to draw conclusions. The number 1 indicates the absence of a close connection.
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Characteristics of the state of falling in love
Falling in love is a state of mind when you start thinking about another person constantly, every second. The opinion of ordinary people regarding such a feeling as falling in love is divided in two. Some consider this feeling to be something sublime, which not every person has the ability to experience.
Others consider it a “diagnosis” with its own “symptoms” that requires preventive treatment measures.
Psychologists are inclined to believe that “falling in love” is a positive emotional state, accompanied by concentration on an object that interests a person, which will certainly lead to a narrowing of the consciousness of the individual in love. The consequence of such perception may be an erroneous judgment about the personality of the object of love.
This state of consciousness is unstable; it is built on the emotions overwhelming a person and a positive impulse on the part of the partner.
The state of falling in love is one of the stages of affection, which can subside, pass or arise, flaring up again. Most often, all the characteristics described above apply to girls in love.
What to do with falling in love
I will give you some tips on how to find out, determine that you have fallen in love, and build the right tactics of behavior.
- Don't get lost in the whirlpool of events. Don’t give up your favorite hobby and traditions, continue to improve and attend courses. Don't get depressed if something doesn't work out the first time. After all, love should bring joy.
- Always smile sincerely in front of a guy. This will not only set you up for positivity, but will also show him that you are a bright, cheerful person.
- Don't invent a non-existent image for yourself. Don't say you like what he likes. Behave as naturally as possible. After all, if the relationship works out, it will be difficult to live someone else’s life. In addition, such behavior looks feigned and false, which will immediately alienate the chosen one.
- On your first dates, you shouldn’t overwhelm your partner with conversations about serious intentions, marriage and children. To begin with, friendship, tenderness, and trust must arise.
- Keep the tone of communication in the middle. Don't be too whiny and affectionate, but don't communicate with indifference and coldness. Let what is in your soul remain a mystery to him.
- Do not deny him the desire to watch his favorite film, even if such a topic is not to his liking.
- Give compliments more often, praise, call by name. Men love with their ears just as much as girls.
- Don't be afraid of this bright feeling. Even if nothing works out, it will be an invaluable experience and vivid experiences.
Development
Relationships between loving partners do not stand still. They are looking for new and better ways to cope with life's challenges, spend time together, and express feelings in different ways.
Moreover, love experiences do not overshadow other areas of life.
Are you familiar with the situation when a person’s thoughts are so occupied that it makes it impossible to work? Or communicate with friends for a long time without mentioning your object of adoration with or without reason? Or devote time to your own hobbies, not imagining how great it would be to do the same thing, but together?
This is love. It clouds your mind, distracts you from your work, and creates the impression that everything else doesn’t matter. And this is a mistake. Because all areas are equally significant. And it is true love that understands and accepts this fact.
How to tell a guy if she's in love with him
- She doesn't flirt with others. All her attention is on you.
- She gives surprises and gifts. And it's not about their financial value, but their importance to a man. She smiles when she looks at you and laughs at your jokes.
- She closely monitors herself, changes outfits and looks to please you.
- She calmly calls and texts first.
- Your companion keeps her gaze on you for a long time, and when she becomes noticed, she blushes and is embarrassed.
- The girl adjusts her hair and chain, trying to appear more attractive.
- She tries to take an interest in his problems and achievements and support him.
- He reacts deeply and sincerely to the words of his beloved, he can rejoice or, conversely, be offended, upset and even cry when he hears minor irritation or misunderstanding.
Hyper-emotionality
A girl in love becomes sentimental and sensitive. She constantly experiences emotional surges, which are caused by a number of physiological processes in the body.
The body perceives psycho-emotional swings as severe stress. Candidate of Sciences, Doctor of Social Psychology Timothy Jay Loving and his colleagues found that a girl in love increases the level of cortisol (a hormone that protects the body from stress). When a young lady experiences exclusively sexual interest in a guy, the level of the hormone does not exceed the norm.
During the period of falling in love, the subconscious reacts to the production of cortisol - the body produces oxytocin in high doses - one of the hormones of happiness and pleasure. When lovers hug and kiss, the level of oxytocin increases rapidly. Psychological tension subsides, a girl in love experiences trust in her lover, tenderness and care.
Stages of falling in love
In addition to the obvious signs described above, there are also stages. In each of them, the personality reveals itself in a new way. Behavior analysis will help you understand whether you are in love or not.
Initial signs
The initial stage of falling in love is the most troubled time. First, an increased interest arises in the object - what he loves, where he lives, what he and his family are interested in, whether he has a soulmate. Next, you begin to imagine how suitable you are for each other. You are attracted to everything about him without exception: humor, voice, actions, figure, clothing style. He speaks funny and appropriately; the others pale in comparison.
You have already planned what your ideal wedding will be, how many children you will have, what kind of house you will live in and where to go on vacation. These thoughts are breathtaking. Even in his obvious shortcomings you find tenderness and constantly justify them. No one bothers you or annoys you.
Secondary symptoms
When you are in love, you do things that are not typical for you. This means that the first stage smoothly flows into the second. Girls begin to take care of themselves, style their curls, apply makeup every day, instead of banal pants and sneakers, wear stylish dresses and heels.
At this time, a person drinks, eats and sleeps less. Hormones produced internally dull other senses.
Women become cooks, poets, singers and try with great effort to show their best sides. However, in the presence of the object of adoration, words often “get stuck” in the throat, thoughts are confused and it is not so easy to collect them into one sentence.
Third stage
The last stage comes when your charm hooks a man, and he begins to pay increased attention to you. Already timid confessions indicate the beginning of a relationship.
Signs that you are in love:
- I am infinitely glad to meet you, but you behave more boldly and confidently, without confusing your words. You try to seem honest and natural.
- When dating, you show high intelligence and knowledge in many areas.
- From the touches, butterflies begin to fly inside your stomach, and your palms treacherously become covered with fine sweat, a wave of excitement covers you.
- You are happy when the next date is already scheduled and you don’t have to worry about the outcome of the relationship.
If you notice such signs in yourself, love has definitely settled inside.
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Ability to resolve conflicts
A relationship in which love arises is not a stage. There is no place for dramas, overblown tragedies, or acting skills. If such a couple has a problem, she prefers to solve everything peacefully. Peaceful means without throwing knives and plates, playing games of silence, visiting parents, throwing things over the balcony and screams that only the deaf cannot hear.
These partners will resolve conflicts through conversations, attempts to understand each other, and find a common mutually beneficial solution.
Another fact: the prerequisites for quarrels are inevitable. Two people, different in character, upbringing, views, trying to share housing, everyday life, will sometimes encounter differences and misunderstandings. This is fine. If there are no disagreements at all in a relationship, this means that people hush up their dissatisfaction or live not with the partner himself, but with invented fantasies about him.
First steps
First, you need to decide on the nature of your feelings: friendly intentions, admiration for popularity and demand, a passing hobby or a real romantic mood.
Method 1: Defining “crush”
This is a fairly broad concept that includes a whole range of different emotions. Conventionally, I will divide it into several types:
- Friendly - you can trust a person, need his support and help, but at the same time not be burdened by serious connections.
- Admired - when you idealize a person. You are fascinated by his actions and want to gain similar experience. This kind of love fades away when the rapture wanes.
- Fleeting. Attraction to the opposite sex is instinctive. While in a relationship, you may feel attracted to other men. This suggests that you are interested in something new.
- Romantic - you want to be more than friends, you dream of kisses and hugs.
Method 2: When you are close to your crush
Analyze your behavior. There are three possible types of reactions to a partner. The most common is embarrassment in his presence. The second is, on the contrary, an ardent confidence in one’s superiority, a desire to tease and tease. The third is flirting. You are having a nice conversation, you want him to pay attention to the new dress or hairstyle.
Method 3: When you are at a distance
Do you often mention your lover when talking to others? If this is the case, try not to discuss his shortcomings behind his back; he might find out about it. If you unobtrusively share your emotions with your friends, they will help you understand your feelings. Don't refuse advice.
Duration of relationship
Love is clearly not a feeling that arises in a couple of days. To say “I love” with confidence, you will first have to thoroughly study the person next to you. See how angry he gets, sad, what he does when he’s bored, who he calls first to share his joy. Right down to what dreams he has and what brand of toothbrush he prefers.
Only when many joyful and not so joyful situations have been experienced together, the strengths and weaknesses of the individual have been identified, can one think seriously about the cherished three-word phrase. Everything else up to this point is part of the imagination, which will evaporate as soon as life presents a serious test.
What should I do if he doesn't notice me?
The first and most logical thing to do is to attract the attention of the object of adoration. When you don't know each other, try writing him a message on social networks or adding him as a friend. If he likes you, he will probably show interest. If you communicate, but not as closely as you would like, change your image, and you will attract his interested gaze.
Find out the tastes of your lover, ask his friends about his main hobbies. Analyze what kind of girls he is attracted to and adapt the style to the necessary parameters. Pretend that you are interested in the same things as him: watch a few football matches to stay on topic, talk about a successful fishing trip or an exciting trip. Like-minded people come closer together.
Unrequited love
Many girls, hitting the stone of indifference and suffering, fall into depression from indifferent feelings, become lethargic and apathetic. It's possible to deal with disappointment. Spend time in public more often, appear in the company of friends, make new acquaintances. Take a deep dive into your hobbies and sports activities. Do everything to ensure that you have as little time as possible to think about your unrealized romance.
A change of environment helps. Visit relatives in another city, fly away or go on vacation. From there you will return with fresh thoughts, and perhaps a new lover. Don't waste your life on those who are not interested in you.
Statistics and educational facts
- At the first meeting, a guy pays attention to the girl’s face, and not to the subtleties of her figure. And if it seems cute, that’s enough to trigger feelings, even when the silhouette is far from the model’s.
- Any coincidence can become the basis of falling in love. Similar facial features, hobbies, field of activity.
- A person in love is indecisive and absent-minded.
Another interesting sign that you have fallen in love with a guy is the internal sensations you feel when you are around him. They are similar to strong intoxication.
Stability of feelings
How do quarrels with parents most often occur?
“I was offended, I feel bad, but I still love my mom and dad. If they suddenly get into trouble, I will come to the rescue, despite all the disagreements.”
How do quarrels happen between lovers who have recently found each other?
“Should we break up? What if this is not my person? Do I even need it? If he starts asking for help now, I’ll proudly turn around and leave. Let him get out on his own!”
Can you feel the difference? Love is a stable phenomenon. It doesn't go away, it doesn't diminish because of a few disagreements or problems. What disappears after the first difficulties is just a temporary hormonal surge, and not deep intimacy.
