Not everyone admits that they are addicted to communication. For a person to be in society is a vital necessity. Why does a person need communication, what is its meaning and benefit. Why the need to interact with other people is so important to the individual. What problems can arise due to lack of communication and how to avoid them. You will find answers to all these questions in the article.
Why is communication necessary?
A little-known fact: if a person is isolated from society for a long time, he will begin to degrade. Changes in the psyche will appear. Man is a herd creature, and we cannot live and develop normally without communication and interaction.
Psychologists understand communication as interaction through words, gestures, body position, facial expressions, and facial expressions. It is very important for a person to have people like him around him.
Why is communication so important?
- A person receives confirmation of his “I” from others. Personal identification occurs. This does not seem significant to the conscious mind, but it is very important to the subconscious mind. We look into others like mirrors, and they show us who we are.
- Communication allows you to compare yourself with others. We receive an assessment of our qualities, actions and deeds. This is how a person sets boundaries for himself—moral barriers.
- We receive approval, sympathy and support as confirmation that our feelings are correct and justified. When people like us tell us that they felt the same way in such a situation, it becomes easier to survive the stressful situation.
- A person experiences pleasure when he shares his feelings with others. Joy will not be complete if there is no one nearby who can be happy for you. And going through grief alone is even more difficult. This is also a property of the psyche: to consult, to share.
This is why communication is important for humans. Thanks to him, he does not lose himself. He focuses on other people, compares himself with them. This is how societies of people are created in which it is not customary to kill or humiliate. People build a peaceful life that is convenient for the majority. Asocial personalities exist and have always existed, but they are rather the exception that only confirms the rule. For them in our society there are special correctional institutions: offices of psychologists, psychiatrists, prisons.
If people lived separately and did not communicate with each other, we would have a world similar to a mental hospital. A person cannot be mentally healthy while in isolation for a long time. Remember Robinson Crusoe: he talked to the ball. If he didn't do this, he would go crazy.
Option 3
(443 words) Man is a social being who is designed to live surrounded by his own kind. People have always lived in a collective, because only together they could survive and oppose their common strength to the wild. Therefore, if a person is in forced isolation, his psyche changes greatly and even collapses over time. This explains the fact that a person cannot do without communication. This pattern is confirmed by numerous examples from the literature.
For example, A.P. Chekhov, in his story “The Bet,” described an experiment that a greedy lawyer, tempted by a large sum of money, conducted on himself. The hero entered into an argument with the banker, intending to prove that he could serve fifteen years in voluntary solitary confinement. After that he was to receive two million rubles. The bet took place. If in the first years the prisoner behaved as if he was preparing to be released and used his time to benefit himself, then in recent years he abandoned self-improvement classes and lost interest in everything that is characteristic of people. He even outwardly ceased to resemble a person. In his letter to the banker, the reader finds evidence that the hero has gone crazy and could no longer be considered a full-fledged person. The prisoner rejected all the achievements of civilization and declared that everything in the world was indifferent to him. He even refused money. Having protected himself from social contacts, the hero lost everything that made him human: dreams, interests, ideals, goals, feelings. This example allows us to conclude that people cannot do without communication without losing themselves.
Without communication, a person ceases to be himself, because his psyche undergoes significant and irreversible changes. This is proven by an example from Jack London's "Straitjacket". Darrel Standing ends up in prison, but his rebellion against the cruel and unjust rules of this institution ends in even greater torture and torment. The hero is pulled into a straitjacket and left in solitary confinement. Each time his stay in this state is increased in order to suppress the warlike spirit of the prisoner. Darrel was unable to communicate with people while tied up and pinned down in solitary confinement. Because of this, his creation began to project something like hallucinations, creating the illusion of a full life. The hero seemed to travel in time and look through his past lives. Under the influence of physical suffering and social isolation, Darrel virtually ceased to exist in reality. His entire existence took place within the framework of consciousness. His psyche has become distorted and adapted to the hardships of Saint-Quentin prison, but we can no longer call the hero a full-fledged personality, since he does not show his personal qualities in any way. Outside of society, a person loses those features that make him related to other people, so he is not able to do without communication.
Thus, a person cannot remain “human” without communicating with people. Therefore, we should not remain in isolation and distance ourselves from society if we want to maintain a normal psyche. In social contact we express ourselves and receive an emotional charge, which is transformed into vital energy.
Mutual understanding in communication
This is, perhaps, the basis lying on the surface. It is mutual understanding that people consider the main benefit of communication. This is why a person needs communication: he feels that others understand him. He realizes that if others act and feel the same way, then he is right.
It is not possible to reach mutual understanding with every person. This is influenced by many factors.
For example, different temperaments: if a melancholic person sobs in three streams, a choleric person will only get angry and condemn such a reaction.
Another example: different living conditions. When a poor person loses his wallet, it is perceived much harder than if it happens to a rich person.
They say: “The well-fed are no friend to the hungry.” And that's true. If a single girl is late for a date and tells her married friend about it, she will not understand the depth of her disappointment.
Intelligence also influences. People who like to speculate about deep things, the universe, and discuss some lofty topics will not be able to do this with people of a different mental structure. Thus, a candidate of science in philosophy will have nothing to talk about with his classmate, who is only interested in fashionable handbags and the latest news. Many felt this themselves: not all classmates were able to find a common language. Everyone is just different. And without mutual understanding, relationships will not work.
If the husband dreams of a cool car and traveling in a fun company, and the wife wants many children and her own home, such a couple will not last long. Mutual understanding is a coincidence of views, thoughts, preferences. That's what communication is for. Contact established at this base. Such people become friends.
Severe mental state
Perhaps something personal happened to the person that he cannot and does not want to tell anyone about yet. He decided to stay alone, because he considers this to be his only cure. Perhaps after a while he will get in touch, but he is not ready for this yet.
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The benefits of communication
Not every person has friends. This happens: there are people who have a hard time getting used to others, who are very different from those around them. There are also those who simply don't crave connection or don't take the time to bond with others. For such people in situations of stress, psychotherapists' offices are recommended. This is what a person needs communication for: it heals.
Even if you don’t have a friend to whom you could confide, talk about your problems and get support, communication is necessary for the psyche. When a person does not trust others and keeps everything to himself, problems accumulate. This is how muscle tension occurs in the body, which can provoke any disease, except, perhaps, syphilis. As one satirist wrote: “All diseases are from nerves, only syphilis is from pleasure.”
If you talk about the problem, it can be resolved completely or partially. In any case, discharge occurs. The benefits of communication for people are invaluable. As such a release, psychologists advise keeping a personal diary. But it is much more effective to find support from your interlocutor.
Knowledge and experience
Why does a person need communication? The short answer is to share information. This gives knowledge and experience. In addition to our own experience, we adopt the experience of other people. Moreover, contrary to popular belief, you can learn from children, not only from the older generation. Through contacts with other people we gain new knowledge about everything. This promotes personal development. Our environment greatly influences us and shapes us as a person. Therefore, parents are often worried about their children, who choose their friends from the category of hooligans. What can they teach their child?
But this opinion is controversial. Every person has a certain set of qualities. And even psychos have something to learn. It all depends on the person: we ourselves decide what to “take” from others. After all, even educated people with a good reputation can learn bad things. For example, arrogance. And bullies can teach you how to stand up for yourself. They can explain that you should not leave a friend in trouble, they will show you what courage is. All people, without exception, are equal in this regard. And everyone has a virtue and a negative side. This is why a person needs communication: by contacting different people, we ourselves choose which traits to adopt. But in any case, we gain knowledge and life experience.
Looking at Things
Why is communication necessary? People do not always know exactly what to do in a given situation. We often engage in wishful thinking and act for the wrong reasons. Communication helps to look at the problem from a different angle. A person begins to understand a situation better when he talks about it with someone. The experience of other people allows us to adjust our actions and not make mistakes. This is what communication gives to a person. If, of course, a person is smart enough to listen to others.
Help and support
Communication allows us to provide not only moral assistance to loved ones. Tell your truly close people about your problem, they will help you resolve the issue. Thus, through communication, a person finds helpers. An old Russian proverb says: “Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends.” People help their friends and they expect the same help in return. This is called reciprocity. It is characteristic of friendly relations, because we do not choose relatives and they do not always turn out to be similar to us in their views on life. Of course, the unspoken law prescribes that relatives always help each other, but not everyone does this. And friends are people who do not owe each other anything. As a rule, they are the ones you can count on.
Option 2
(416 words) Many of us have probably heard that a person cannot survive without communication due to his social nature. Of course, not everyone can handle hermithood, but it is still possible to overcome it if you set a goal. There are examples both in the real world and in fiction that prove that people can survive without contact with their own kind for quite a long time.
For example, let's look at Daniel Defoe's book Robinson Crusoe. The main character decided to go on a sea voyage, but his ship was wrecked. A very young and inexperienced young man found himself on a desert island completely alone. At first he was very scared and did not know what to do in this situation. But then he decided to pull himself together and hold out as long as he could, and during this time some ship might sail by. Robinson was an economic and practical person, so he established a comfortable life on the island, domesticated livestock and even learned how to make cheese. But the hardest thing for him was to get used to the lack of social contacts. In order not to go crazy, the hero prayed daily, spoke out loud and kept notes about his stay in exotic lands. He learned to find joy and peace in being with himself. Later, he sheltered and trained a local Aborigine and named him Friday, but before meeting him, he happily managed without intimate conversations. Thousands of readers around the world believed in Robinson's story, and hundreds of letters were received in the name of the hero. This suggests that people were in solidarity with the author and willingly accepted that a person could live without communication for 28 years.
An even more unusual example was described by Rudyard Kipling in his collection of short stories, The Jungle Book. A two-year-old boy got lost in the forest and fell into a pack of wolves, which protected him from a tiger. The wolves accepted the child into their family and called "Mowgli". The young hero grew up among animals and learned their languages, but did not communicate with people at all. This did not prevent Mowgli from mastering moral concepts and adapting to living conditions in the forest. Still, he grew up not as an animal, but as a person, capable of love, friendship and protecting what is dear to him. Even surrounded by animals, Mowgli developed intelligence and resourcefulness that distinguished him from wolves, panthers, snakes and other inhabitants of the forest. Moreover, the teenager even managed to return to people and adapt among them. The lack of communication in the first years of life did not prevent him from becoming a full member of society and realizing his potential, which means that a person can completely do without social contacts.
Thus, a person can survive without communication. Lack of conversation cannot cause his death. However, it is difficult to call such a life full. Still, hermitage is a severe test that can be withstood, but should not be extolled.
The ability to empathize: empathy
Empathy is a term that means the ability to empathize. Empaths are people who take other people's misfortune to heart as if it were their own. In essence, this is a heavy burden, but here we do not choose. Empathy is not a developed habit, but an innate trait, like temperament and character.
Empaths are wonderful conversationalists and good friends. They always help because they also experience the pain that befell their loved ones. Such a virtue is not always good, especially for empaths themselves. They experience many times more than other people.
How to spot an empath.
- May cry while watching a movie.
- Drags stray animals into the apartment.
- He is a good listener.
- Helps not only with advice.
- Responsive.
- Often worries about trifles.
Such people are deeply receptive. They are wonderful friends. And this is another reason for communication: you will sympathize, you will feel relief when someone experiences identical feelings after hearing about your problem. Empathy is characteristic of every person, but to varying degrees. As a rule, friends show empathy towards each other.
First impressions
The bus brought me to an old children's camp with Soviet interiors, rickety old benches, a shared shower and creaky beds. In principle, the conditions were spartan, but I thought that we would generally sleep on the floor, so I was even happy. There is a picturesque forest around the camp, and a river flows nearby. I once watched a video from a Danish hospital for people with mental illness. Our camp was somewhat reminiscent of such an institution.
On the day of arrival, everyone was still chatting animatedly in the common dining room. I sat in a depressed mood and filled out the form. My family didn’t really understand where I was going, and were probably afraid that I had decided to join a sect. After talking with one guy who also came for the first time, I realized that my fears were normal. We came to the conclusion that it’s like going to a monastery if you don’t believe in God. And although meditation had an indirect relationship to religion, there were still concerns.
We gave away gadgets, books, tablets - all devices from which information can be obtained. Smokers said goodbye to cigarettes. Believers wear crosses and rosaries. After which we went to the meditation hall. The employees called us into the hall by name, seating us in a strictly defined place. The girls around me tried to talk before a long silence, and I skeptically assessed the situation, standing in the middle of the swamp: “Why did I even come here?” I was comforted by the thought that I could leave the course at any time. “I’ll do that if I understand that it’s not mine,” I thought. Thoughts of leaving visited me until the fifth day. Still, not everyone can handle 10-12 hours of meditation a day. My neighbor left on the first day.
Reflection in communication
A very important property of communication is that through it we engage, among other things, in self-knowledge. The interlocutor may pay attention to how you think and how you perceive certain situations. This allows you to know yourself better and understand how you think. This is called reflection. Without communication, reflection turns out to be one-sided. And it’s harder to be objective.
Communication from the perspective of psychology
Psychologists have long established that closed people who have no friends and communicate little become antisocial. This threatens the emergence of psychological problems. Some become obsessed with themselves and their conditions. This is how hypochondria appears. Today this problem is very common. Other people do not share their experiences, they keep everything to themselves. They feel the burden of loneliness and become rude and callous.
It is communication that makes people human. This is the most important mechanism, it is inherent in man by nature. And people should not forget about this. Yes, it’s possible without communication. But this will leave its mark on the psyche over time. Whereas in communication a person is healed.
The role of communication
Let’s summarize the above and list the main positions of communication in a person’s life.
- Self-knowledge.
- The acquisition of knowledge.
- Help and support.
- The ability to assess the situation comprehensively, based on the opinion of the opponent.
- Empathy.
- Protection.
- Personal identification.
- Self-esteem.
- Psychological release.
A person receives all this through communication.
Terms of communication
There is a certain charter for the interactions of individuals. It is common for colleagues to greet with a nod, exchange smiles, and express approval with gestures. These are types of nonverbal communication. Look, body position, facial expression. Lovers can communicate without opening their mouths. Close people have long learned to understand each other without words.
There are other conditions. It is customary for friends and relatives to call each other on the phone. The condition for communicating with strangers is respect. We address elders as “you”. To the senior in position - by name and patronymic. This condition is called subordination. It is customary for young people to exchange special handshakes and jump on each other’s backs. Even a slap on the head can serve as a form of communication. And the form depends on the conditions: how close people are, how they usually interact. Here, upbringing, culture, and socialization have an influence.
Option 4
(442 words) Human physiology allows him to live in silence, so it cannot be said that the lack of social contact can lead to death. However, it is impossible to imagine the full development of personality without communication. Therefore, people who do not have the ability to communicate have numerous mental and moral pathologies. Examples confirming this can be found in fiction.
Thus, Mtsyri from the poem of the same name by M.Yu. Lermontov was forcibly removed from his natural habitat and separated from his family. The boy became a prisoner of a Russian general during the war in the Caucasus. Due to stress, the child withdrew into himself and “died quietly, proudly,” stopping eating. The general left the dying man in a monastery along the way, but the society of monks also did not suit Mtsyri. He survived, but withdrew into himself and did not get close to anyone. On the eve of his tonsure, he escaped from his prison and wandered near the monastery for three days. They found him and brought him when he was already dying. From his confession to the monk, it becomes clear that the lack of social contacts had a painful impact on the young man’s state of mind. Mtsyri felt lonely and completely unnecessary. Surrounded by sullen strangers, he suffocated and withered away, like a strange plant in an ordinary garden bed. He missed family, friends, and a homeland where he could freely communicate in his native language. Without all this, Mtsyri lived a very difficult life, and he did not accept this existence, so he killed himself with a fight with a leopard and extreme exhaustion. Of course, he did not die because he did not speak, but lack of communication is one of the main reasons for his mental illness.
The lack of social contacts also affects a person’s moral character, depriving him of the opportunity to adapt to society and become a full-fledged individual. This is proven by an example from Maxim Gorky’s story “Old Woman Izergil”. Larra lived away from society, since his father was a mountain eagle, and his mother was a girl captive by him. When the eagle died, mother and son returned to the people, but the young man was never able to adapt to community life. Larra simply did not know how to behave, and was guided by the only example he knew - his father. In the same way, he tried to get a woman for himself, regardless of her will and the rules of the tribe, and in response to refusal, he killed her. At the same time, the hero did not feel either guilt or regret, since he did not have formed moral principles and moral restrictions. He didn't even understand what he was being accused of. The lack of communication in this case led to a distortion of a person’s personality and behavioral deviations. Larra did not die without talking, but he was never able to become a full-fledged member of society and realize his potential.
Thus, from a physiological point of view, a person can survive without communication, but the moral point of view convinces us that the lack of social contacts leads to a distortion of the psycho-emotional nature of the individual. Such people behave completely differently than they should and cannot adapt to the world around them.
Stages of communication
Standard set:
- visual contact (people see each other);
- greeting (people communicate with gestures or words that they have noticed each other);
- exchange of pleasantries - let's call them conventions
At this point, the conversation may end with a phrase signaling a desire to end the interaction. “Okay, I have to go,” “See you, hello wife.” If people have common topics, they are discussed, after which the conversation moves to the final stage.
- Ending the conversation.
Communication functions
The interaction of individuals has a number of functions.
- Transfer of information.
- Self-knowledge in intrapersonal communication.
- Receiving benefits, benefits.
- Secular communication that does not provide informational benefit: people talk about generally accepted topics.
- Possibility of self-confirmation.
- Influence on an opponent, manipulation.
Types of communication
There is a division into types of communication.
- Primitive - objects do not receive benefits, they only exchange pleasantries.
- Formal is a form of greeting imposed by society consisting of meaningless phrases.
- Role-based - subordination, people accept their assigned roles and perform communication rituals.
- Spiritual - deep understanding of each other. This usually happens with friends or lovers.
- Secular - limited to general phrases.
- Manipulative - communication with the aim of obtaining benefits, influencing a person or situation.
Real story
Irina and Masha were inseparable friends for a long time. They studied at school together, then at university, got married almost simultaneously, and had children. And suddenly Irina stopped communicating. Moreover, she blacklisted Masha’s phone number. Masha tried with all her might to find out what happened, but for a long time she was unable to find out anything. Only later did she learn that her friend had cut out not only her, but also her husband and children from her life. Now he lives somewhere in another region and leads a not entirely normal lifestyle.
What helps people communicate
Communication is based on verbal and non-verbal signals. People always pick up on unsaid things on a subconscious level. For example, if a person is annoyed, but does not show it, the opponent can recognize this by gestures: crossed arms, looking to the side, flared nostrils. But this happens on a subconscious level, a person does not analyze the behavior and gestures of the interlocutor - his brain does this, sending signals to the subconscious. People call it a sixth sense when an employee suddenly realizes that there is no point in asking for leave now, although the boss has given no reason to think so. The brain has already scanned his behavior and sent a signal.
It's not just words that help people communicate. Communication occurs at the level of glances, gestures, and body position. An experienced psychologist will immediately figure out which of the couples in a cafe is in a quarrel and which is happy. People, captivated by each other, hold playful glances, their shoulders are completely turned towards each other.
Shame
There can be a huge number of reasons to end a relationship. Circumstances, changes in character, stress, external or internal factors, etc. In the case of Irina, everything happened because the woman was ashamed in front of her friend. She acted badly towards her family and was well aware of this. Surely she did not ask for forgiveness from them either, because she did not have the courage to do so. But I was very ashamed in front of my friend, because Masha knew her as a girl from a good family who had achieved a lot in life, and suddenly such a fall.
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