Achieving emotional balance is very different from physical or mental balance. Human emotions, especially sadness, pain, depression and anxiety, tend to appear suddenly and uninvited. Sometimes you may get the impression that “everything is going wrong” and nothing can be changed at all. This only complicates the process of how to “get out of the vicious circle.”
Everyone evaluates these emotions (especially sadness) differently and may feel them especially strongly at certain periods of life. But if situations such as breakups, the loss of a friend or loved one, a feeling of failure or even homesickness happen regularly, you can’t help but wonder how you can avoid being sad.
There are 3 things to remember when you feel...
that everything is going wrong
There is a time for everything
Just like the seasons in nature, people also experience “seasons” in life. Some seasons can feel longer than others, especially when it comes to emotions such as sadness, sadness, longing and depression. But just like nature, they have a beginning and a change to another “season”.
It's worth taking a moment to reflect on the last five years. Chances are, everyone has had their ups and downs, and perhaps one particular year stood out more than others. At that particular moment, event, or even year, it may have been difficult to see the “light at the end of the tunnel.”
It is worth believing that even when everything seems to be going wrong, there are cycles in life. And these periods are also meant for the mental, physical and spiritual growth of a person.
Domino effect
Other times in life it will seem like everything is falling apart like a series of dominoes. But it's worth thinking about, maybe the Universe wants to make room for something else, and no one knows what will fill this space.
Everyone is the director and scriptwriter of their own life, so you should just try to perceive everything differently.
The unknown can be exciting, but it can also create anxiety and uncertainty. In any case, this is not the end, but a “reset button” for what comes next. This is the cleansing that the person needs, as well as a reminder that they may need to change their perceptions.
Everything in life goes wrong: reasons
Surely many people wonder why this happens. Psychologists name the main reasons why everything goes wrong in life:
- High expectations.
We often set overly ambitious goals for ourselves, and expect people to behave and treat us in a certain way.
But the world will not play by our rules. No one can achieve every single goal that they have set for themselves. And the people around us are free to do as they want, not us.
To avoid disappointment, don't expect too much from life. Work on yourself and thank fate for what you have today.
- Focusing only on failures.
Sometimes, when troubles occur in one area of our life, we unconsciously transfer the negativity to other aspects. And we don’t notice all the good things that happen to us.
Failures on the personal front overshadow promotions or receiving a well-deserved bonus. Conversely, difficulties at work make us forget about what a wonderful family we have.
- Fear and uncertainty.
Sometimes we subconsciously believe that we are unworthy of what we strive for and dream about. We are overcome by doubts or disappointments in ourselves. If there is a feeling deep within us that we do not have something rightfully, then we will eventually lose it. Hidden fears and complexes push us to destroy what we have already achieved.
Often due to lack of confidence
- Idealization of your desires.
Many people give too much importance to their desires. And when they don’t get what they want, they lose emotional balance. You need to let go of your dreams. Try to be happy, even if your plans do not come true.
- Comparing yourself with others.
If your life is about being no worse than others, then disappointment is inevitable. Comparing yourself with those who have succeeded more always leads to depression. Focus on your strengths and victories.
- The habit of controlling everything.
Some people are used to being in control of everything. But in life, not everything depends on us. And sometimes events happen that we simply cannot influence. Loss of control over a situation is often the cause of emotional disorders.
- Wrong goals
When in some area of your life everything is going wrong for a long time, it is worth considering whether you are moving in the right direction. Perhaps there is a different path destined for you. And what you are doing is contrary to your true purpose.
There are wrong goals
- Movement in a circle.
It's amazing how often we step on the same rake. When you cannot achieve positive results, you need to try other solutions. Do not repeat actions that were once ineffective. Look for alternatives. Why do over and over again what leads to defeats and failures?
- Maximalism.
This wonderful quality can serve you poorly. The “all or nothing” principle often prevents us from soberly assessing current events. In reality, there are no hopeless situations. There is always a way out, we just may not be entirely happy with the results.
- Not accepting the world as it is.
Each of us has our own model of the “correct” world order. And when the imagined world does not coincide with the real one, we begin to experience a lot of negative emotions. But we did not create the world. Therefore, it is not for us to condemn him.
Rejection of the world
- Reluctance to limit yourself.
Some people were very spoiled as children. Their wishes were fulfilled before being formulated. And yesterday's children grew up with the firm conviction that all their demands must be met. It is difficult for such people to limit themselves in anything. Therefore, not getting what they want, they remain in a state of eternal dissatisfaction.
Try to understand what is causing your current problems. Awareness of the reasons is the first step to overcoming them.
Find pleasure in what you have
It's time to put an end to the single-minded pursuit of happiness and focus on what is right now and what brings you joy. Everyone copes with sadness in different ways - by working out, painting, dancing, hanging out with friends or spending time with family.
You just have to find what makes someone happy. This is individual for everyone, so it is impossible to give uniform advice. You should find a few things that bring mental, physical and, most importantly, emotional balance.
How to do it?
Start journaling for 5 minutes a day
It doesn't matter if someone likes to write or not, they should try keeping a journal, spending 5 minutes a day and writing down everything that they are grateful for in life during that day. Of course, it may seem tedious at first, but it's just 5 minutes that you can carve out instead of mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed or watching TV. Such a simple technique can help change emotions.
Many successful entrepreneurs start their day with gratitude. By simply listing simple things that a person appreciates on a daily basis, he will begin to notice other things that he has to be grateful for throughout the day. Here are some tips to get you started:
– who made you smile in the last 24 hours, and why this person brought positive emotions;
– was there a special song on the radio that reminded you of a fun time in your life;
– think about what you ate for breakfast and how it gave you energy for the whole day;
Once a person begins to notice little things for which to be grateful, it begins to become a natural habit, which then begins to automatically improve all emotions.
Tips for finding yourself
Will psychology help if you are not living your life and don’t know what to do? Undoubtedly! Psychologists and personal growth specialists know very well what to do in such situations.
Below are 15 powerful ways to get in touch with your inner self.
- Don't give up and don't go with the flow. Be active and active. The famous physicist Einstein believed that life is like riding a bicycle: to maintain balance, you need to constantly move.
- Don't neglect 8 hours of sleep. The habit of always getting enough sleep helps maintain health, good spirits, fresh skin and productivity.
- Don't be afraid to say no. Of course, the movie “Always Say Yes” is very positive and inspiring, but you still shouldn’t take its message as a literal recommendation. You have the right to say no if you are asked to do something you don't want to do. Even if the request comes from a friend or relative.
- Stick to positive thinking. Believe that everything will be fine and that you deserve it.
- Don’t give in to stereotypes, don’t think in stereotypes, this will only prevent you from moving forward.
- Don't stop on your way to your goal, no matter what happens. Remember that a black stripe is always followed by a white one.
- Don't stay in circumstances you don't like: change them or leave if you can't change them. You don’t need to endure a job you don’t like because it gives you stability, or stay in a hateful relationship so as not to be alone. This is a sure path to neuroses, the feeling that you are not living your life, and panicky thoughts of “what to do?”
- Rest.
- Gain new knowledge, improve your skills. Take courses, watch webinars, read articles. May each day enrich your mind.
- Do any kind of creativity that you like. This will help develop creative thinking skills and relieve stress.
- Don't miss the opportunity to pamper yourself and show yourself love. This is simply necessary, because if you don’t love yourself, the people around you won’t do it either.
- Don't be afraid to try new things, even if it means making mistakes. It is from mistakes that you can learn how to do things right and ultimately achieve your goal.
- Don't let everything take its course, but plan. Always make a step-by-step plan for how you will complete an important task.
- Make new connections and acquaintances. Improve your communication skills, it will always be useful in life.
- Don't look back at the past, don't reproach yourself for past mistakes, live in the present.
Life in the Flow. How to understand that you are in the Flow, a simple test!
Another important recommendation from psychologists is to get inspiration and motivation from all the sources that suit you. If you do this regularly and use this inspiration to change your life, anxious thoughts will stop visiting you.
Find someone to talk to about a general topic
Having support is great, but there is always someone you can connect with on a deeper, more personal level.
Each person's circumstances and situations are different, and although everyone usually believes that they are the only person who can feel a certain way about something, it is a good idea to talk to other people who might also feel the same way.
Breakups happen for a number of different reasons, but the feeling of grief for the person and the relationship exists almost every time.
Life is not meant to be lived alone, but in the company of others.
Change your perception
Consider a situation where a loved one dies. It is difficult to convey this despair and gradual immersion in the abyss of emotions from which it is difficult to return.
You need to understand right away that there is no end to this abyss, and a person must stop himself from falling into it, and find the willpower to get out of the abyss of despair.
Changing your perception changes the whole situation.
Here are examples of questions that will help switch your current perception of the situation to more positive thoughts and ideas:
– what can be learned from this situation, and why it happened now; – how you can help others with what someone is experiencing; – to be negative – whether it helps someone or the person himself.
It's worth keeping in mind that denial and sadness are two completely different emotions. Being sad is natural, and sometimes you have to experience these emotions; but denial sometimes stems from uncontrollable sadness.
Why things are wrong when you grow out of a relationship
Have you looked through all the options, but haven’t found the answer to why everything is annoying? Maybe it's time to change something in your life? Your qualifications have grown - it’s time to look for a better job that will bring more workload, but also greater rewards in monetary and emotional terms. Everything seems boring and uninteresting - change your environment or place of residence.
Have you outgrown your environment? Start a new life
Truly close people will move on with you. And they will not hinder your development. Alas, sometimes we grow out of relationships. Even if these are parents or loved ones, find the strength to leave those who deliberately slow you down. Don't allow your love for them to be manipulated. Because toxic love will one day turn into hatred, and will not bring anything good to both parties.
Put yourself first
You need to put yourself first, especially in the most difficult times. Everyone is different, and there is no easy, simple solution to sadness.
If it helps, you can surround yourself with people, whether it's for distraction or to have someone to empathize with. For others, turning off the phone for half a day and disconnecting from the world may help. If someone prefers to be alone to release any pent-up emotions, or simply to be in complete silence and solitude, they need to allow themselves to do so.
Once a person comes to his senses and begins to put himself first, he will begin to appear again in other areas of life.
Everything is fine - but why is everything wrong?!
You have complete agreement in your family, you love your job and you have just recently returned from vacation. Depression and illness are not about you. Then what is the reason for failure? Why is everything not the way you want? Perhaps the stars are to blame. The ones in the sky. No matter what scientists tell us, everything in the world interacts. And the location of the planets may be unfavorable for you at the moment. Consult an astrologer, stock up on a talisman, for example, a red thread. Even if they only give you a placebo effect, the power of self-hypnosis can change your life.
If everything has been annoying you for a long time and isn’t working out, check your horoscope
Receive compassion and give it to yourself
Compassion is not always a skill that is given by birth, sometimes it is a skill that is learned. However, there are some areas in life that no person can truly and fully understand unless they go through it themselves. In most cases, this can be an understanding of any traumatic experience.
Sadness and sadness are healthy human emotions that are experienced by everyone. It is always better to seek help from loved ones, especially those with whom you have a special connection.
By taking some time to show compassion for other people and their sadness, you can feel more connected to that particular person, even if you haven't experienced the event that makes them sad. In turn, compassion also always comes back.
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How to live further if there is no strength and meaning
It is the loss of the meaning of life that deprives you of your main strengths, so instead of pumping yourself up with energy drinks, it is more logical to deal with your basic life-giving meanings. Such conditions arise from crisis and traumatic moments, when a person loses loved ones, faces serious illnesses, and is forced to radically change his life. Then the previous guidelines collapse, and new ones have not yet been formed, and it becomes completely unclear how to live, and there is really no strength, since exactly as much energy appears as is necessary to realize aspirations. Some can afford to travel to deal with a change in direction, understand where difficulties came from and set a new course, but not everyone can leave their everyday life for introspection of the inner world. Then the question arises of how to live further if there is no strength and money to provide such a retreat. Fortunately, it is continuity with your usual life that is the key to overcoming this condition.
Spiritually strong people perceive everything philosophically and as temporary categories, having internal meanings of something imperishable and without an end point - this could be self-development, improving the world, helping those in need. When the meaning is limited to some specific relationships, people, type of activity, then the likelihood of its loss is high, and the more specific and stronger the attachment, the greater the crisis awaits. While continuing to perform your usual actions, consider your life for the presence of such eternal meanings that have value even after your death, even after everything disappears and changes. During this time, you can automatically go to work and cook soup, while mentally noting to yourself whether it makes sense to paint your lips or feed the homeless, go to church or buy a dress - by analyzing such little things you can come across their relevance, despite the changes that have occurred. Following this, an understanding of energy will begin to increase for the performance of such actions that you yourself assess as important - this will be the new course of your life.
If the meaning of life was lost after a certain event, then this happened due to severe psychological trauma, which the nervous system was unable to cope with. Then it will fade away and become less of a concern, but the feeling of not being completely alive may remain, so it’s worth contacting a psychotherapist to work through the situation as quickly as possible - the older the injury, the more difficult the rehabilitation will be later. If there is no opportunity to use help, then try not to hold back your negative and uncomfortable emotions - cry while you cry, scold the world order while a cry breaks out, kick the walls of the institution where it was painful. Everything is fine, as long as these emotions do not remain inside you, because it will take all your strength to contain them.
