Author of the material:
Inna Trofimova
writer, psychologist, gestalt therapist
In our time, the concepts of pride in religion and in everyday life have greatly diverged in their meaning. It seems that pride and dignity are one and the same, and humility comes from a lack of willpower. But in the Holy Scriptures, pride and ambition belong to dangerous vices that kill virtues. And yet, is being proud of yourself good or bad? How to detect signs of pride in yourself and use them for self-development? Perhaps pride has a reverse side, which is not opposed, but favorably complements this emotion.
What is pride?
Pride is a human emotion or character trait that reflects a high opinion of one's worth. In Christianity, pride or arrogance is considered the worst enemy of a person who has departed from God. But in everyday language, these cognate words are not considered synonyms, so pride can be interpreted as a virtue or a vice. Pride as self-esteem and the need for self-esteem becomes a subject of approval. Pride, manifested by arrogance , contempt, and demonstration of superiority over others, is condemned in religion and in everyday life.
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In a figurative sense, pride is regarded as a state of satisfaction with oneself for the efforts made. In such cases they say: “I am proud of myself” or “I am proud of my willpower.” A feeling of significance arises even in cases where pride is directed not at oneself, but at the outside world - at the family, work collective, country, nation. Then we say: this is the pride of the school/university/state.”
In psychology there is no concept of a norm of pride , since this emotion refers to subjective and to some extent negative moral feelings. Firstly, it expresses a biased attitude towards something. Secondly, it depends on the assessment of others, and an emotion unrecognized by others causes resentment and anger. Thirdly, pride, which has become the dominant characteristic of a person, becomes arrogance. Therefore, dignity is considered a more appropriate emotion.
The idea of pride in pre-Christian times.
In ancient times, pride, arrogance, insolence, and arrogance were embodied in the image of the powerful goddess Hybris. And also a titanic desire to prove superiority over the Gods, threatening to disrupt the existing order. It is not surprising that these qualities were criticized in the poems of Hesiod and Aesop's fables.
In the first works of Aristotle, the concept of “pride” was replaced by “grandeur” - a moral ideal that crowns the entire system of human values. Later, the Aristotelian tradition was also criticized, and the arrogant Prometheus, Narcissus, and Oedipus in literature and philosophy were replaced by the embodiment of evil, Lucifer.
Pride and arrogance in religion.
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In Holy Scripture, pride is emphatically condemned and mentioned in a negative sense. In total, this topic is mentioned in Biblical texts almost 100 times. It is believed that arrogance, vanity, resentment, and ambition give a person a distorted opinion of himself. These passions are opposed not only to humility, but to righteousness in general. The second important point is that pride interferes with personal morality, but it gives rise to sorrows and turns life into something difficult.
The Optina elders, the spiritual leaders of the laity, devoted a lot of work and explanations of the negative side of such passions:
- The Monk Barsanuphius wrote: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
- The Monk Macarius believed that people attribute pride to positive qualities “... out of ignorance or from darkened passions.”
- The Monk Anatoly wrote: “...There is worldly pride - this is wisdom, but there is spiritual pride - this is self-love.”
And yet, what is pride and how does it differ from pride ? Although both qualities are considered equally sinful, slight differences in concepts exist. Namely - in the degree of manifestation .
Efforts and achievements
I suggest you conduct a small experiment right now. Read the two sentences slowly and pay attention to your feelings.
1. Well done for reading this article. Remember what kind of internal response this sentence evokes in you, and take a short pause before reading the second one. Done? Then let's move on.
2. I'm proud of you. You took the time to read a serious article and learn something new about yourself. Notice how you feel now.
Compare two experiences - the first and the second.
When I conduct this little experiment in the classroom (in this case I usually say “You’re great for getting together” and “I’m proud of you - you didn’t go to have fun, but came to a lecture/seminar to learn”), then in the first case they say usually, the pleasure was quick and there was some embarrassment or displeasure from the assessment (“well done”), while in the second case the pleasure was deeper, because there was recognition of merit, an assessment of the efforts made.
What is pride?
Pride is extreme self-confidence, a terrible spiritual disease that is difficult to cure. She breathes contempt, disrespect for others, and a thirst for praise. If pride manifests itself from time to time or for various reasons, then pride fills everything, it manifests itself in facial expression, in gestures, facial expressions, and statements.
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Pride and arrogance are not accepted by all religions of the world. In Islam, humility during prayer is compared to the presence of the heart before Allah Almighty. But loudly declaring humility is considered a sign of arrogance. In Judaism, humility is considered one of the most important moral qualities. In Hinduism, humility is considered a powerful tool for curbing the ego, and in Buddhism, it is considered not the opposite but a complement to pride.
"Who will praise me best..."
It may be helpful for parents to note that the same thing happens when we praise a child. If we evaluate him by saying “you're great,” we put ourselves above him. But when we notice his efforts, we give him a reason to be proud of himself.
However, this applies not only to parents, but also to friends. It’s one thing to say to a friend: “You did great,” and another thing to say: “I see how hard you tried.”
Translated materials often talk about pride being the result of “socially praiseworthy” actions. However, it seems to me that this is due to the difficulty of adequate translation.
I would say that we are talking about those actions that lead to social recognition and, accordingly, to the formation of a greater sense of belonging to one or another part of the community. And about how we use our abilities, and about the efforts we make to realize them. And a lot depends on the context. An adult is unlikely to be proud of the way he ties his shoelaces, but for a child it is an achievement.
Pride in psychology.
Psychologists say that there is no personality without pride. It’s just that this feeling is revealed so subtly that we don’t even imagine how permeated we are with it. You can notice pride if you regularly devote time to working on yourself.
It is difficult to list all the signs of pride. Here are some of them:
- Confidence in one's own rightness and infallibility (excellent student syndrome).
- Feeling of personal significance and importance.
- Boasting, thoughts of one's own superiority.
- Reluctance to take responsibility for one's actions.
- Treating others condescendingly.
- Indignation towards braggarts.
- Feeling worthless and expecting praise.
To discover these qualities in yourself means to recognize the enemy by sight. To pacify them or use them for one’s own development is everyone’s personal choice.
When does pride stop?
Pride is insidious. On the one hand, it makes a person dependent on other people's opinions. On the other hand, it poisons social and personal life. A proud person refuses to believe in equality and tries with all his might to remake the world according to his own understanding. Considering himself better than everyone else, a proud person stops developing and sometimes even degrades.
What to do with yourself if pride interferes with your life?
- The first and most important thing is to face your shortcomings. Until we recognize our negative sides, we will not make them disappear, we will not find harmony.
- Love yourself. Pride as a defensive reaction arises from self-doubt.
- Learn to listen. Pride does not tolerate competition; it is deaf to the desires of other people. The skills of empathy and compassion will take a significant toll on her.
- Gradually remove the crown of pride. Learn to do good anonymously, so that no one knows about your good deeds. Start doing simple, everyday work: washing dishes, caring for animals, digging beds.
- Learn to sincerely praise other people.
Many of us are spoiled by the phrase: “Never ask for anything, you must have your own pride.” We silently wait, get offended or begin to demand. But it remains unclear - where is the line that cannot be crossed? Often we simply don’t know how to turn our shortcomings into our strengths.
A question of motivation
Among the experiments conducted by Jessica Tracy was this: in two groups, volunteers were asked to solve problems on spatial perception. Then the first group was given the test results, they were all the same: 94 points. The second group was given the same results, but with the words: “This is an amazing result, few people manage to do tasks so well.”
After this, the participants were asked to continue testing, and the researchers measured the effort they put into solving the problems. Those who heard words of recognition put in 40% more effort than those who simply received a high result. Conclusion: Pride motivates us to put effort into something.
Different understanding of one word
The same concept at different times can have both positive and negative meaning. A clear example of this is national pride. In most cases, this feeling is welcomed. It means a person’s love and affection for his country, readiness to protect and defend common interests. However, history can also provide quite tragic examples of the use of this concept: Germany in the 30s and 40s (the idea of the superiority of the “superior nation”), the British Empire in the 19th century (the idea of the “white man’s burden”) and so on. What is pride in this case, if not a feeling of superiority of representatives of one nation, race over other people? As the sad experience of past generations has shown, it does not bring anything good.
Notes
Wikiquote has quotations related to Pride
- Based on the definition of emotions in the article by Alexey Nikolaevich Leontyev.
[flogiston.ru/library/leontev
Needs, motives and emotions
] (Russian). - Moscow, 1971. - Ozhegov S.I., Shvedova N.Yu.
Pride // [dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/ogegova/40886 Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language: 80,000 words and phraseological expressions] / Russian Academy of Sciences. Institute of Russian Language named after. V. V. Vinogradova. — 4th ed., supplemented. - M.: Azbukovnik, 1999. - 944 p. — ISBN 5-89285-003-X.. - [www.onlinedics.ru/slovar/ojegov/g/gordost.html Pride, what is gordost meaning and interpretation of the word, definition of the term :: OnlineDics.ru]
- [www.mirslovozhegova.ru/show_termin/51152/ pride, pride, / Ozhegov’s world of words - Ozhegov’s dictionary, definition of words according to Ozhegov]
- [www.harakter.info/index.php/chto-takoe-kharakter?layout=edit&id=18 Character development. Alexey Chichin]
- ↑ 12
[www.terme.ru/dictionary/188/word/gordost-gordynja tsnpdnyare (tsnpdshm)] - [ancientrome.ru/publik/article.htm?a=1293240187 Borukhovich V. G. Scientific and literary significance of the work of Herodotus]
- Rome. 11:20.
- 1 Pet. 5:5. Tzh. Prov. 8:13, Prov. 11:2.
- [www.slovardalja.net/word.php?wordid=5899 Explanatory dictionary of the living Great Russian language - Proud].
- [www.bibliotekar.ru/encSlov/19/23.htm The Soviets have their own pride. Mayakovsky]
Is it good or bad?
It all depends on the degree of expression of the emotion and the objectivity of its application .
Demonstration of self-esteem and positive acceptance of one’s own achievements and victories allows one to develop, improve, and achieve success in life. A person who knows his worth always enjoys respect in society.
If this emotion develops into an unpleasant trait that darkens and complicates relationships with others, it is worth fighting against it. In this case, there is no objective assessment of one’s personality; imaginary and often inflated ideas about oneself come first.
Generosity and Anxiety
Those who feel proud increase their status in this way - but at the same time they are ready to share their own success with others, and this is reflected in their behavior. And arrogant pride is built on intimidation, dominance, and submission.
We can easily see this with examples, recalling our years of study. Among your teachers there were probably both those who felt proud of their knowledge and were ready to generously share it, and those who were arrogant with their students, intimidated them with bad grades and forced them to cram in their textbook. There is no doubt that the material is absorbed better in the first case.
True pride reduces anxiety because those experiencing it want to help others and receive more social support in return. Arrogant people are anxious: they have to maintain the illusion of competence and control, and defend their illusory position.
There is a difference at the level of hormones. Arrogant people have high testosterone levels, while “proud” people have lower testosterone and higher serotonin, which means better mood, appetite, and libido. The latter are happier people, even at the hormonal level.
Professional growth
Not only factors of current influence are important, but also development prospects. Research shows that workers without opportunities for professional development, acquiring new skills and knowledge perform worse at their tasks. They have no visibility of further growth even outside the context of a promotion. Moreover, a place of work may be extremely unattractive in terms of earnings, but if it contributes to the development of professional and creative abilities, its value increases markedly. By solving complex and sometimes non-standard tasks, the employee feels the process of his development, which has a positive effect on his self-esteem and sense of pride.
