“I want to sleep, but my thoughts prevent me from falling asleep”: who is to blame for this and what to do


You feel like you want to sleep, but as soon as your head touches the pillow... a global thought process begins. For some reason, you remember that shameful incident that happened in the seventh grade, analyze the reasons for the breakup with your past partner, finding out who was really to blame, and come up with the ideal image for tomorrow, because why not.

Simply put, at a time when it would seem you need to relax and let go of all thoughts, your brain begins to work in a way that it never works in the office (although that’s exactly where it should be). Common situation?

Experts in the field of sleep disorders call this state racing mind (literally “mind race”), noting that before an important event, be it an exam, an interview or a wedding, something similar is typical for everyone. However, if you constantly think about life before going to bed, and it’s more like “I’ll daydream a little so I can sleep better,” but more like “my head hurts from a bunch of thoughts,” you definitely need to do something about it.

Below are techniques that may work.

Get out of bed

It may seem counterproductive, but Rajkumar Dasgupta of the University of Southern California School of Medicine tells Refinery 29 that "a bed should only be meant for one thing: sleeping." The expert adds that this is why, if you were unable to fall asleep within 15-20 minutes, it is better to do something. For example, drink a cup of tea or read a little in a chair so that the brain, with regular repetition, does not begin to associate bed with hectic thoughts.

Insomnia and obsessive thoughts

Night is the time when anxiety, worries, and fears most often arise. The difficulties that a person thinks about before going to bed may seem insignificant in the morning. But these thoughts keep you awake for hours, and the next morning you can feel overwhelmed and tired. This state is typical of responsible people who take on an overwhelming burden of obligations.

This is often accompanied by overexcitement caused by the turbulent events of the day. In this case, you should learn to switch from work life to home life, leaving all professional problems outside the apartment. We need to focus on enjoyable activities related to relaxation.

You need to allow yourself to relax before going to bed by watching a pleasant movie or listening to music. Any activity that evokes calm thoughts will do.

Don't look at your watch

Speaking of routine, Dr. Dasgupta notes that if you keep an eye on the clock, trying to figure out how much sleep you have left (we all do that sometimes, right?), your body will begin to adapt to it. “What I mean is: if you know for sure that you can’t fall asleep until about three, then you won’t be able to fall asleep until three. For the same reason, many of us start waking up at 5:45 even though our alarm is set for 6:00,” he explains. Instead, again, try getting out of bed and doing something easy and non-physical.

You don't understand how important sleep is

The fanatical desire to work all night long, common among startups, is a sign of amateurism and short-sightedness.

I think many people, at least once, while at some business meeting, witnessed a conversation between two young businessmen, each of whom, with pride in his voice, tried to convince the other that he sleeps less. Personally, these guys remind me of two cocky kids in a sandbox, arguing about whose Easter cake will last longer, and not noticing how it starts to rain.

It looks pretty funny, but if you think about it, there’s nothing funny about it - some entrepreneurs really do crazy experiments on themselves, the goal of which is to reduce their sleep time as radically as possible. And then they walk around like zombies and lash out at employees for no reason or no reason.

It is generally accepted that a person needs 8 hours for proper sleep. For some people, 7 or even 6 hours are enough to feel great. In any case, if your body does not have time to fully recover during your sleep, the consequences are unlikely to please you.

Charles Czeisler, a sleep expert at the Harvard Medical School, has shown that four hours of sleep over five nights in a row has the same effect on memory, attention and thinking speed as being drunk.

Although getting four hours of sleep over five days is quite an extreme situation, based on this study, it's safe to assume that if you consistently get less sleep than you should, it will ultimately lead to the same reduction in performance that you would get after one or two glasses of beer.

What it's all about: Sleep is extremely important for the mental functions you need as an entrepreneur. You may be able to sleep less than your body requires, but this will only mean that you are working hard... Not smart.

Give up gadgets

Easier said than done. But if the problem of thoughts that interfere with sleep is familiar to you firsthand, it’s really better to give up gadgets. Experts say that even with blue light filtering to reduce eye strain, a smartphone or laptop still has a stimulating effect on the body. By the way, sleep apps, designed to improve your sleep rather than ruin it, can also play a cruel joke on you.

“When it comes to sleepy apps, I'm not worried that they don't help, I'm worried that they increase the temptation to check email at the same time,” says Dasgupta. By the way, it’s also best to avoid watching TV before bed. “Is it really all you can do before going to bed to lie down and look at the ceiling?” you ask. But no. Music, paper books and anti-stress coloring books are at your service.

In the end, let us remind you that before going to bed it is also important to give up fatty foods and alcohol, not drink a lot of water and try not to get nervous over trifles. And, of course, keep in mind that all this may be a symptom of some other disorder, physical or mental. “You could have a sleep disorder, restless leg syndrome, narcolepsy, apnea, anxiety, acid reflux, or something else,” warns Dr. Dasgupta.

So if what happens at night prevents you from working at full capacity during the day, for more than a month and without obvious reasons, you should definitely consult a specialist.

It turns out that running your own business is a lot of stress!

You might be lying in bed with a million new ideas running through your head: “How can I increase my damn conversions? Maybe increase your presence on social networks? Or hire new copywriters? But it’s high time to fire Sergei, otherwise he’s completely relaxed.” You may have already dozed off, but suddenly waking up, you are desperately trying to force yourself not to forget some extremely important detail, as it seems to you at that moment. Or maybe you're just worried and go to bed with dark thoughts about the future of your business, leading to thoughts about your failure as a person and the futility of existence.

If you saw yourself in these lines, then the following sentence should henceforth become your life credo. Print it out on a piece of paper and hang it in your bedroom:

Self-employment and good sleep are not things you have to choose just one of.

With the tips in this article, you'll soon be able to get rid of what's holding you back from being the captain of your own ship and enjoying a fantastic night's rest.

Slow down, I'm recording!

To overcome the stress and anxiety that make it difficult to sleep, keep a personal diary. The thoughts that are spinning in your head before going to bed should be written down in a notebook every day. It is also useful to summarize the day, make plans for the next day and simply share your experiences.

You can approach keeping a diary creatively - draw in it, design it to your liking, use stamping and other elements that will make your diary and every day unique. This will be an additional way to combat stress.

How it works?

The fact is that when we write everything down on paper, it becomes easier for us to sort out our thoughts and feelings and put them in order. Thoughts can literally jump around in your head: one thing comes to mind, then another, and it’s difficult to stop this flow. A diary will help you create some structure, organize your thoughts, put them in order, and also throw out some emotions on paper.

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Don't know where to start keeping a diary? Here are some questions to help you:

  • what is bothering me at the moment?;
  • What events and people make me anxious?;
  • how can I influence these events and relationships with people?;
  • How bad is my anxiety on a scale of one to ten?;
  • Where exactly in my body do I feel tension when I am overcome by anxiety?;
  • What else do I feel when I'm anxious?;
  • Is my anxiety helping me in any way?;
  • What can I do right now to reduce my stress levels?

It is not necessary to use all the ideas - just choose those that will be useful for you.

Removing harmful information

Meditation practice requires solitude from a person, as one will need to try to concentrate. So, you should sit on the floor and completely relax. People then imagine a white board and begin mentally writing down all their negative thoughts on it. After this, the spilled emotions are wiped off with an imaginary sponge so that nothing remains. This practice is considered complete if relief and calmness sets in. However, we cannot stop there. After all, this technique has been practiced for a long time. It is better to use a method to clear your thoughts before going to bed. Then it will be easier to go to bed, because there will be no unnecessary and negative things in your head. A person changes greatly not only internally, but also externally when he mentally cleanses himself. Naturally, we must not forget about filling ourselves with joy and positivity.

Filling your inner world with positivity

To become happier, you need to start meditative practices that lead to the acquisition of spiritual joy. This stage is called “how to clear negative thoughts.” Here you will need to use a simple smile, but it should be addressed to all living things. In other words, they send a smile to both themselves and nature. This inner attitude should be remembered in difficult moments when you feel unwell.

Love also gives people unforgettable emotions, so this feeling also needs to be cherished and found in oneself, since every person initially comes into the world carefree and joyful with love for all living things. But then the qualities in question fade into the background. Now you have to pull them out through daily meditative exercises. Of course, here you need to relax and take a comfortable position. Then start radiating love. Moreover, any negative thoughts should overshadow images of joy. It is best to remember how animals frolic or small children play. Green mountain peaks on a clear day and flowering trees will also fill the picture for further mood. This spiritual practice takes approximately ten minutes. But the main thing is to expel all bad things from your thoughts.

What else matters?

To help you sleep better at night, you can use herbal teas. They do not act as quickly as medications, but when used systematically they have a good sedative effect. There are many herbal infusions, which may include thyme, St. John's wort, mint, valerian, lemon balm, and motherwort. These herbs have a sedative, antispasmodic, hypotensive, and some have a choleretic effect. The herbal mixture is brewed, infused and drunk twice a day for a couple of weeks, and after a short break the course can be repeated.

There are also tablet forms of herbal medicines. Such drugs, for example, include:

  • Deprim, made from St. John's wort.
  • Persen, which contains valerian, mint and lemon balm.

Persen contains more valerian and is well suited for the treatment of insomnia.

Insomnia remedy based on natural ingredients

Before using any medicines, even herbal ones, you need to consult a doctor, as well as carefully study the instructions for possible contraindications. Contacting a specialist is justified, as he can help you choose a medicine that is ideal for each specific situation.

If the drugs do not have an effect and you still cannot take your mind off your thoughts and fall asleep quickly, you should share this with your doctor, he will recommend another drug or another method of solving the problem. Under no circumstances should you increase the dosage of the drug on your own and uncontrollably, this can be dangerous to your health!

Thus, if you can’t fall asleep at night, first of all you need to understand the reasons why this may be happening. Only in this case the fight for healthy sleep will be most effective.

Article information

This article was co-authored by. Paul Cherniak is a licensed psychotherapist in Chicago. Graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Category: Stress

In other languages:

English: Calm Your Imagination Before Sleep, Italiano: Calmare la Tua Imaginazione Prima di Dormire, Español: calmar la imaginación antes de dormir, Deutsch: Die Gedanken zum Einschlafen abstellen, Português: Acalmar a Imaginação Antes de Dormir, Français: calmer votre imagination avant de vous coucher, Bahasa Indonesia: Menenangkan Imajinasi sebelum Tidur, Tiếng Việt: Tĩnh tâm trước khi Ngủ, 한국어: 자기 전에 상상력 진정시키는 법, Češt ina: Jak zklidnit svoji představivost před spaním, العربية: تهدئة خيالاتك قبل النوم, ไทย: ทำให้จิ นตนาการ Nederlands: Je verbeelding kal meren voor je gaat slapen, 中文: 在睡前平静思绪, 日本語: 就寝前に心を落ち着かせる

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Preventing insomnia - expert advice


Make sure you have a comfortable mattress and pillow. We spend a third of our lives sleeping. We carefully consider clothes for work or going out. You should do the same with sleep. If your sofa or bed is giving you back or neck pain, find something to replace it with. Overnight recovery is very important. It affects our health quite strongly. Make sure you have a quality mattress.

Choose the bedding that you like. It should be of good quality and pleasant to the body. Also with pajamas or sleepwear. Choose natural fabrics and colors that please you.

Get regular physical activity. Gym, swimming pool, yoga, running, fitness - any regular workout. Physical exercise relieves mental stress and helps you cope with stress faster. Remember regularity - 3-4 times a week.

Go to bed and get up at the same time. Even on weekends. The body gets used to order and routine. Learn to go to bed before midnight and get up before 8.00.

Add magnesium and vitamin D supplements to your diet. Take courses of these vitamins. They will promote the production of melatonin and help you recover faster.

Causes of bad thoughts

The fight against negative thoughts can only begin after a thorough analysis of the situation and identification of the cause of their occurrence. Some process always contributes to the appearance of dark thoughts.

Obsessive ideas contribute to the emergence of negative emotions, and a person’s life turns into a nightmare.

The most common causes of negative thoughts are:

  1. Character traits. For some people, negative thinking prevails from childhood, and it becomes their habit in adulthood. In this case, a person sees the world in a dark color and cannot do otherwise. Sensitive individuals take everything to heart because of their personality. They tirelessly replay the events that happened in their heads.
  2. Low self-esteem. Flaws in appearance, physical abnormalities or psychological reasons, in most cases, provoke the appearance of self-doubt. Many people tend to focus on their defects and feel that everyone around them notices their shortcomings. It is not possible to relax in such a situation. Low self-esteem can also occur in outwardly attractive people. Factors in its development include reproaches from others and condemnation that lingers in memory for a long time.
  3. Negative experience. A series of unpleasant situations could have a significant impact on the psyche and way of thinking. The person still has the fear that the negative event may happen again in the future. This often happens to victims of violence.
  4. Suspiciousness. This character trait is expressed in constant fear and alertness. The reason for this behavior can even be a book read or a story from the news. People prone to suspiciousness often experience persecution mania.
  5. Inability to make a decision. Some individuals cannot determine their own desires; they constantly doubt their choices, even if it concerns small things.
  6. Environment. Society often inspires people that everything is bad and there is nothing positive in life. Such individuals actively impose their opinions on others and try to criticize everyone around them, developing in others complexes and fear of the future.
  7. Loneliness. Some people are lonely and need attention, care and love. Most often women find themselves in this situation. In the absence of a strong shoulder nearby, fragile ladies take on male obligations; it seems to them that there is nowhere to wait for help and support.
  8. Difficult situation. The impetus for the predominance of negative thoughts can be some event: a major quarrel, divorce, an accident with someone close and much more. In such cases, it is important not to withdraw into yourself and become depressed.

Important life changes

If you use the most appropriate techniques for clearing and filling your thoughts, you can achieve amazing results. The quality of life will change, as a person will begin to perceive everything that happens differently. Suitable situations and positive people will begin to be attracted. The world will become completely different. Every morning awakening will be happy. Then you will want to work and enjoy ordinary things. Close people will also notice the changes.

The main thing is not to stop when you start working on yourself. After all, this is not such an easy path. It is quite difficult to change false attitudes imposed by an outdated society. Old habits can resurface even after cleansing. Then you will have to repeat the material covered and practical exercises. You may be able to incorporate some new, powerful techniques into your work plan. They will help to eliminate the remaining shortcomings from a different perspective.

What to do during a "break"

Reading an ordinary fiction book, oddly enough, is one of the available ways to improve your psychological state. Read something from the classics, take Chekhov's stories, a novel by Tolstoy or Dostoevsky off the shelf - you will discover an amazing world for yourself! “Lighter” works are also suitable, but it is better that it is not educational literature, not science fiction, not a thriller, but a novel or fictional stories. Scientists have long proven that half an hour spent reading a book reduces stress levels much better than listening to music, computer games, or even a walk.

Rules for working with the subconscious

When a person takes the path of purifying his thoughts, his body may not react the way he would like. Sudden mood swings or unmotivated anger will confirm this. In this case, you need to try to maintain composure by continuing to fight for freedom from negativity. Aggression should be stopped with proper breathing. So, inhalation and exhalation should be slow.

Any problem that arises must now be called a problem that requires a solution. There is no point in looking for the culprits, there is no point in this anyway, even if it is not yet possible to find a way out of the current situation.

After a certain period of time, the irritation reflex will disappear, and it will become clear that negativity simply interferes with solving important life problems.

In addition, clearing your thoughts will require getting rid of harmful “parasitic” words and phrases. So, the “not” part needs to be removed from thoughts altogether. After all, the subconscious removes this little word and accepts negative attitudes.

From the abundance of information coming from society, you should choose only positive ideas. You need to limit yourself from harmful attitudes by stopping watching all television programs and listening to music that makes you sad.

Later you need to try to come to your subconscious. This technique will allow you to control your thoughts in the future. In other words, a person begins to perceive himself as he really is and talk to the subconscious. Here it becomes possible to form a unified emotional system. Then you will be able to get rid of suspiciousness and doubt when making important decisions. After all, the human body will remain one. Some experts from the field of knowledge in question recommend coming up with a name for your subconscious for a deeper connection. Naturally, you need to thank this part of yourself for the work done.

Why does insomnia occur?

Almost everyone has bad sleep. Insomnia significantly spoils a person’s health and life. I want to lie down and rest, but my thoughts simply won’t let me relax. Therefore, sleep comes at a time when it is time to get up. The man did not get enough sleep, he is in a bad mood and feels unwell.

Severe stress or anxiety, which any modern person is subject to, almost always spoils sleep. The reasons can be very different; many things make us nervous. After a while, the nervous system malfunctions from this lifestyle.

Stress is the body's biochemical and psychological reaction to what is happening. Insomnia is the result of stress that a person thinks about all night. On a nervous background, a large amount of hormones enter the bloodstream, which have a bad effect on the nervous system and interfere with sleep.

How to learn to relax psychologically

Not everyone has the ability to independently relieve stress without using additional funds. Further confirmation of this is the variety of modern pharmaceutical products presented in the section of sedatives, antidepressants and tranquilizers. And the sales volumes of alcohol of varying degrees of eliteness hint at another favorite way of relaxation, which enjoys undeserved popularity among all segments of the population.

Photo from the site https://izlechenie-alkogolizma.ru

You shouldn’t rely on such an obvious and accessible way to forget about problems, because, in addition to being expensive, it is fraught with the formation of a stable addiction, which you definitely won’t be able to get rid of without specialized help. The ability to rest and completely relax can be learned, like riding a bike or reading. To do this, it is enough to study the methods recommended by psychologists, choose 1-2 that are most suitable for yourself and apply them if necessary. Psychotherapists advise techniques to relieve stress and relax, such as:

  • Cyclic physical activity;
  • Receptor stimulation;
  • Creating an emotional vacuum;
  • Concentration and isolation of attention;
  • Dominant responsibility.

The psychological basis for all techniques is the conscious or unconscious redirection of brain activity, with the formation of a neutral dominant focus of activity in the cerebral cortex.

Let's look at the main switching techniques and possible ways to implement them. However, after the mechanism of the method is understood, everyone will be able to choose their own method of similar influence.

Method "4-7-8"

You can relax and calm down by focusing on your breathing, since it affects both biological processes and psychological state. In a situation of stress, a person's breathing becomes fast and shallow. The “4-7-8” technique is aimed precisely at bringing breathing back to normal. It consists of four steps.

  • Stage 1 (preparatory). While lying in a horizontal position in bed, press the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth (the area behind your upper teeth). Next, exhale forcefully. So that a whistle can be heard. The lips should be folded into a tube.
  • Stage 2. Inhale air through your nose, while mentally counting to four.
  • Stage 3. Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  • Stage 4. Exhale continuously, counting to eight.

Do this exercise 4 times. It will allow you to fall asleep in just a few minutes.

How it works?

Let's consider 2 points: physiological and psychological. The first is due to the fact that the correct balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide is restored in the blood. The psychological point is that the consciousness, focused on counting, is not distracted by unnecessary thoughts, which do not allow a person to fall asleep.

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