How the will is strengthened and character becomes strong

How to Toughen Up and Build Character: Pexels Humanism and kindness are good. But what to do if they manifest themselves in softness and reliability? It's time to work on yourself and strengthen your character. Personal trainer Pavel Rakov and bestselling author Angela Duckworth know how to make it stronger and tougher.

What makes us stronger

The same life situations can break one person, while, on the contrary, make another stronger and more self-confident. What makes us stronger.

Set goal. The fulfillment of a cherished dream gives a person self-confidence, determination, perseverance and other qualities form a strong character.
Victory. Even small victories that a person wins on the way to achieving his goal strengthen his morale and allow him to once again be convinced of the correctness of the chosen path. A successful person always remembers and appreciates every achievement.
Failures. Big and small defeats can make a person stronger only if you learn a lesson from such falls and move on. Overcoming difficulties strengthens character and gives mental strength on the path to the goal.

To become truly strong and develop an iron character, you need to get rid of bad habits and set certain restrictions for yourself. You should never put off planned tasks or abandon what you started halfway. Physical exercise will not only help you overcome laziness, but will also give you self-confidence. And then in old age you won’t have to regret unfulfilled dreams and a mediocre life.

Negative traits of grit

However, there are also negative manifestations in strength of character. A trait such as firmness can provoke a person to become stubborn when he is confident that only he is right, but not other people. Then a person may miss many moments and prospects in his life, his friends, colleagues, and partners may turn away from him when they understand that their opinion is more important for a person than the position of other people. In addition, hardness also carries with it rigidity and inflexibility. Such qualities are inherent in a gloomy and unsociable person who is accustomed to hiding his true feelings from other people.

Quotes about strong character

Aphorisms and sayings of famous writers and philosophers become mottos in life for many people, helping to overcome difficult periods. Quotes about strong character:

A strong character must be combined with flexibility of mind (L. Vauvenargues);
Man himself is the final creator of his character (L. Lopatin);
A strong character, like a strong stream, encounters an obstacle, only becomes irritated and intensifies even more, but at the same time, having overturned the obstacle, it creates a deep channel for itself (K. Ushinsky);
Character consists of the ability to act according to principles (I. Kant);
Talents are formed in peace, characters are formed amid the storms of life (I. Goethe).

Self confidence

A psychologically strong person knows that his beliefs greatly influence whether he achieves success. This is not just a matter of motivation, it is a real fact. Researchers have found that more confident people earn more and move up the career ladder faster. True confidence is always visible and cannot be confused with the false confidence that people use to hide their fears. Psychologically strong people know how to inspire others with their confidence, so everything works out better in their lives.

The bride was upset when she saw the rings at the wedding. She didn't know it was a surprise

The funniest “disappointments” that overtook people on the eve of Christmas

How to get there, where to go, food: a complete guide to Italy

Advice from Pavel Rakov

To strengthen your character, will and spirit, do the things you need to do every day:

Show the people you care about love and appreciation.
Devote 10-15 minutes daily to cleaning.
Drink a glass of water daily.
Every day take a step towards your goal.
Learn something new.
Do push-ups.
Praise at least one person every day (deservedly).
Organize 5 minutes of silence for yourself.
Think about the positive things that are present in your life.
Engage in any type of physical activity.
Pretend to be a superhero. Until you really become one.
Say thank you for another day of your life.

It’s worth taking part in Pavel Rakov’s trainings. For example, “Summer Camp” is a large eight-day training session that brings together 1,000 people. This program is based on strengthening character, fortitude, and willpower.

Character is a kind of core of a person. The stronger the character, the more successful the person. Weak-willed and weak-willed people never achieve their goals and do not have what they really want. Only a person with a strong character will be able to show determination, perseverance, integrity, endurance, self-control, courage and courage. All these traits are inherent exclusively to people with a tempered character, will and spirit. Set a goal for yourself and become a strong person.

a lion

If you initially noticed a lion, this means that you know how to overcome difficulties on the way to a goal and solve problems. You are not afraid to stand up for your own opinions and what is important to you. Sometimes people around you say that you have a tough character, but in reality this is not the case, you just have inner courage. Don’t worry, you know how to love and will do anything for your loved ones, and the opinions of others should not bother you.

Sources used:

https://blizosti.net/kak-poborot-mjagkotelost-i-stat-bolee-zhestkim-chelovekom/
https://gudi1991.ru/otnosheniya/kak-stat-zhestkim-chelovekom.html

Tough people they are

If the phrase “tough person” comes up in a conversation, then many begin to draw an image of an intolerant person who looks with disdain at the weakness of others. In fact, toughness can be called a reflection of a person’s strongest character traits, including perseverance, will and self-control.

Tough people tend to be leaders by nature. Moreover, it is worth considering that this character trait is not innate, it is formed under the influence of various external factors, often difficult life situations.

Rigidity can essentially be called the ability to remain steadfast even when external or internal stimuli for a long time do not provide the opportunity to relax.

Important

Internal irritants include personal weaknesses and desires, and external irritants include insults, neglect and resentment caused by other people.

A tough person is characterized by the following behavior:

The ability to quickly navigate difficult life situations and find the most optimal solution to a problem. The ability to defend your point of view on any important issue. The ability to protect yourself and your loved ones in critical situations, often without the use of physical force. High level of discipline, punctuality and willingness to take responsibility for words and actions.

The above character traits become the basis for the formation of an internal core, which often manifests itself in the form of rigidity, which can be very useful in situations such as:

Conflicts with colleagues in the work environment.
Stressful and force majeure incidents.
Disputes and discussions that require defending your opinion.
As a means of defense against opponent's aggression.

However, you should not think that rigidity is an exclusively positive feature. Such people also have certain disadvantages, for example:

Emotional stinginess. It can be quite difficult for tough people to express intense joy or grief. For them, such vivid emotions are a sign of weakness that they cannot afford. They are used to controlling themselves both in professional activities and in everyday life, and increased emotionality for them is an indicator of a loss of control.
Tendency to egocentrism. Over time, tough people begin to prioritize only their needs, believing that their desires and opinions are above all.
Intolerance. A tough person is critical of himself and his environment. He does not accept weakness and mistakes. Democracy and tolerance are alien to him. If a tough person demands the maximum from himself, then he will also set higher standards for others.
Problems with building romantic and friendly relationships. Intolerance and the inability to turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of others almost always become a tangible problem in creating social connections of one degree or another. No love can guarantee that a year later a tough person will not begin to reproach his soulmate for her bad habits or lack of ambition.

Why is it sometimes worth being tough?

As mentioned above, rigidity is most often formed under the influence of external factors.
This quality is in great demand in cases where it is necessary to focus on solving a problem, casting aside worries and possible doubts. This personality trait can become entrenched under the condition of predisposing factors, for example: demandingness, high organization, responsibility, straightforwardness and a tendency towards perfectionism. Rigidity as a character trait is urgently needed for people holding leadership positions in any business sector. Such a boss will be an ideal leader for a work team, since he can optimally organize the work process and discipline his employees. Under the leadership of a tough boss, subordinates clearly know their responsibilities and strengths, understanding that they should not count on groundless concessions.

If we talk about toughness of character as a sought-after trait in everyday life, its benefits are especially noticeable in critical situations. If a person has difficulties at work or financial problems, then it is internal rigidity and composure that helps to pull oneself together and begin to look for a way out of the current situation.

In the process of raising the younger generation, parents often have to show firmness, and sometimes even harshness, especially in cases where it is necessary to establish certain rules and restrictions, for example, for a teenager.

How to become strong in spirit and character

Strength of spirit and character is developed by a person personally. It is impossible to be born strong. However, it is quite possible to become a strong person. Moreover, you can develop strength at any age, and not just from childhood. It all depends on the strength of the desire to become strong and the willingness to make efforts to achieve what you want. By the way, this also allows a person to be strong.

So, tips:

Surround yourself with people who are also strong and positive. By constantly being in their company, you will be able to develop the desired qualities in yourself.
Don't be afraid of failures and problems. Any experience is positive because it enriches your knowledge and allows you to develop new skills. Don't be afraid of new situations, be afraid of not learning from your mistakes.
Have a clear picture of yourself. A person who does not know easily succumbs to the opinions of people around him. If you don't know what kind of person you are, it's easy to tell you what kind of person you are. Moreover, people will say what is beneficial to them, what they see, often without noticing the true state of affairs. That is, even those around you will make mistakes about you.
Create your own value system. Moreover, these values should be much more valuable and important for you than the opinions of other people, their attitude towards you and even the ability to deal with them.
Have your opinion on any issue. This shows that you are at least somehow familiar with the world around you and have thought about this or that issue. If you don't know something, admit it, but don't let others dictate your opinion. Take the position: “I didn’t know this before. I heard your opinion, now I’ll think about it, read information from other sources and make a decision on how to act/think in this situation.”
Learn from your mistakes. You do them not to feel sorry for yourself later or to blame yourself for something, but to understand what you should not do, which will allow you to change your behavior.
Don't be afraid of failures and troubles. Know how to respond adequately to what is unpleasant to you. Life won't always happen just what you want. Therefore, be able to endure any situation with dignity.
Experience your fears, but don't let them control you.
Prepare for negative outcomes of events. Of course, you shouldn't just think that something bad will happen. Just know that events may unfold in ways you don't like. Strive to achieve success, but don't get discouraged if you encounter negative consequences.
Think about the future, but live more in the present life. The future is about dreams and expectations. And fate is not obliged to send you what you want. You need to be aware of where and how you live now and what you need to do to achieve your desired future.
Take action. Weak people wait and are offended when their hopes are not met. A strong personality acts and creates his own future.
Accept the imperfection of the world. You will always encounter both bad events and good ones, both the pleasant qualities of others and the unpleasant ones. You live in a world that already has certain characteristics. And if they do not adapt to your desires and ideal ideas about the world, then this is your problem.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Weak people always find flaws in themselves and rely on them to tell others about them and encourage them to act in their place. A strong person knows both his shortcomings and his strengths. He uses all his qualities, does not spare himself, but tries to make himself even stronger and more perfect.

Don't get stuck in the past. A person becomes weak when he stops living in the present, but remembers more and more about the past, laments what happened or misses what was pleasant to him. A strong person uses the past only as an experience that shows what not to do and what to achieve. To live happily, it is not necessary to remember a pleasant past. It is possible in the present tense to create circumstances that will please a person. But for this you need to work and make efforts, which weak people do not like so much.

Why do men choose strong women?

Self-sufficient girls are a completely different matter, and this is their strength. They don’t need a man to be constantly at his skirt, they won’t control correspondence on social networks and ruin a man’s evening with endless calls. The lack of control makes them attractive, as well as several other reasons:

They are not afraid to speak out and always say what they really think.
They know how to solve problems independently and do not run away from difficulties.
They are confident in themselves and can defend their own opinions.
They are aware of their abilities and always strive for more, never stopping there.
They know how to listen to their interlocutor and find compromises. This quality is very helpful in business.
A strong girl is not a boring homebody with borscht. She is cheerful, active, always on the move. And it’s always interesting with her.
A strong girl will come out of any situation with dignity.

Strong character - examples

Strength of character and strong will allow people to perform heroic deeds, change society for the better and leave a memory of themselves for many centuries. In the history of mankind there are many examples of such people with strong character:

Mikhail Lomonosov
. A Russian scientist from a poor family, his passion for knowledge was his guiding star, overcoming hardships and hardships he achieved great heights in his life and did a lot for his country.
Walt Disney
. The famous American animator was raised by a tyrant father, and at the age of 12, Walt promised himself that he would become a famous animator; his determination and strength of character led him to create his own studio for the production of animated films.
Sylvester Stallone
. An excellent example of a strong character, it would seem that fate presented him with only hardships, starting from birth, when the newborn Sylvester’s facial nerves were damaged and subsequently all his desires and ambitions were realized through incredible trials, but today Stallone is where he is - successful and loved by his fans .
Oprah Winfrey
. A well-known TV presenter with a strong unfeminine character, but who knows how to be feminine, she has gone through a lot: violence, drugs, deprivation, but all this only strengthened her.

Essay on the topic Strength of Character

Strength of character is the courage that everyone wants to have. It is the ability to confront fear, despite the fact that obstacles may lie in one's path. For centuries, our culture has been filled with stories about the strength of character that helps us be courageous. One of the best examples is the story of David and Goliath, where a man defeats a giant that no one dares approach. Courage can be physical and moral. If physical strength can be acquired by engaging in strength sports, then moral strength should be cultivated in oneself from youth. After all, it is in youth that a person most often encounters failures. Strength of character helps to pass all the tests and maintain a spirit of optimism. After all, having this power, a person believes in himself, and accordingly, in his abilities.

Character strengths are the positive aspects of your personality that influence the way you think, feel, and behave, and are key to becoming a better person. When used effectively, strength of character is beneficial both to oneself and to society as a whole. They are different from your other strengths, such as your unique skills, talents, interests, and resources.

Strength is defined as “the quality or state of physical strength” and “the quality that enables a person to solve problems decisively and effectively.” In my opinion, this definition sufficiently covers the meaning of force. However, I would also include in this definition that strength is a characteristic that distinguishes people from each other. A person's strengths make him unique and valuable.

Analytical strength can also be considered strength of character. This is the ability to break down and analyze a situation. The analyst finds answers in deep contemplation and study

A thoughtful person is unlikely to take a risk unless all negative and positive consequences are taken into account. People's ability to analyze, study, find answers will be useful for their careers and may even lead to great success

Another component of character strength is perseverance. Persistence and hard work always go hand in hand. People with such qualities truly have strength of character, because in order to achieve even small goals, you definitely need to show perseverance. However, it should not be confused with stubbornness, which is not a very useful quality for a person.

Understand what's stopping you

Before answering this question for yourself, you should understand what exactly prevents you from being decisive and self-confident. It is necessary to carefully analyze all the motives of behavior when there is a retreat at those moments when you need to take a decisive step.

Low self-esteem. It is based on the fear of criticism of decisions from outside, ridicule. There is a constant fear of doing something wrong, of making a mistake.
When faced with a problem, even not a very complex one, there is a desire to let everything take its course, expecting that the problem will be solved by someone else or that it will resolve itself.
There is a thought in the subconscious that it is really impossible to do anything right. This feeling was born in childhood, when adults instilled in the child that any action or decision he made on his own was wrong.

From this childhood feeling of the wrongness of one’s actions, another feeling develops: everyone around is doing everything right, only your actions are absolutely wrong and lead to irreparable consequences. Such sensations can lead to some serious neurosis. How to become a decisive person in this case will be suggested by some tips that will allow you to rectify the situation if you follow them.

Signs of a strong-willed person

What does it mean to be strong? What does a strong person mean in the eyes of others? According to American neurologist Andre Salter, strong personalities are distinguished by the following characteristics:

emotional speech, spontaneous expression of one’s emotions;
directness of statements without hints or omissions;
defending your opinion;
frequent use of the pronoun “I”;
ability to improvise;
taking compliments for granted.

The strength of the human spirit is manifested in certain character traits:

confidence. Strong people can soberly assess their abilities and confidently move towards their goals. They engage in any type of activity, be it business or cooking, with passion, trying to expand their capabilities. The painful feelings of fear, uncertainty, and doubt for most people only stimulate a strong personality to learn new things;
ability to build relationships with others. The ability to perceive people as they are allows strong individuals to establish friendly and deep relationships with colleagues, friends, relatives, and neighbors. Their management of other people is based on changing themselves and their behavior;
sense of responsibility. Strong people take responsibility solely for everything that happens to them in life. They do not seek approval for their actions from others. This life position provides an undeniable advantage. Without relying on outsiders, they gain complete independence;
naturalness. Strong people do not hide their true feelings either from themselves or from strangers and are guided only by their own feelings in making decisions;
rejection of authoritarian power. Strong personalities will never rashly obey anyone. Neither management nor parents will be able to manipulate them. You can only cooperate with such people;
cheerfulness, optimism. The life-affirming position of strong people does not depend on their financial situation or the opinions of others. They are able to remain calm even in the most difficult situations. They are free from resentment, anger and other negativity.

Cruelty and strength

A tough character does not mean a strong character. As a rule, in rigidity a person drowns his weaknesses. A strong person has the will, the desire to reach the final goal. At the same time, he does not cause unnecessary cruelty, because he knows what pain is. A strong personality knows how to forgive, recognizing that every person has the right to make a mistake. She is able to look her fear in the eye and overcome it, look back and correct the mistake. A tough person lives in captivity of his resentment, childhood fears and complexes; for him, strength is the only way to show his abilities. A man’s strength lies in his ability to take responsibility for his life and the life of his family, keep his word, and help. Physical and moral rudeness have nothing to do with strength.

How to stop being soft and strengthen your character

It makes no sense to deny the benefits of tough behavior, but not every person is able to develop this trait. Many representatives of society are distinguished by softness and compliance, which can serve poorly in situations that require the ability to defend one’s point of view and make the right decisions.

In order to achieve real success in developing internal rigidity, you should pay attention to the recommendations of specialists

Awareness of the need. Before you begin to develop strength of character, you need to clearly accept the fact that natural meekness is the cause of many different problems in everyday life. A great way to weigh the pros and cons is to list in writing all the possible consequences. For example: “Colleagues are accustomed to using my reliability to solve the most unpleasant tasks.”

An example to follow. When working on yourself, it won’t hurt to have before your eyes an example of a person who fully corresponds to the concept of a standard. Perhaps among your acquaintances there is a person who successfully combines all the desired traits. Pay attention to his manner of keeping himself in company, facial expressions and vocabulary. But be sure to remember that each character is a unique and very complex combination of various traits, the thoughtless copying of which can lead you to lose yourself.

Gradual changes. Don't think that you can turn into a completely different person in a matter of days. In fact, the entire process of developing rigidity can take more than one month. Take your time, start small and over time you will achieve significant results. Otherwise, those around you may consider your changes to be some kind of whim that they should simply endure, or they will begin to actively try to return you to the “true path.”

The art of refusing. Learn to say a calm and firm “no” to people. This skill can be called one of the main signs of a strong character. If your colleagues are used to chasing you around with small errands or turning to you for help, knowing that you never refuse anyone, then be prepared to disappoint them. Your attempts to stop being a “pack horse” will only cause reproachful glances and pursed lips from them. But don’t even think about giving up and backing down. Don’t show weakness and remember why you started all this in the first place.

Work on gaze and gestures. Everyone knows very well that a tough person can be distinguished even in a noisy, noisy crowd. He is given away by his behavior, namely, verbal and non-verbal signs. The gaze should be direct and confident, the posture should always be straight, the gestures should be rather stingy. Particular attention should be paid to the intonation of the voice. A confident person always has an even and calm voice. A tough person is distinguished by the ability to eloquently remain silent. With his entire appearance, he can show his attitude to a particular situation; he does not need to raise his voice to defend his position.

Sports activities. Sport helps you achieve amazing and sometimes stunning results in character building.

And it doesn’t matter what kind of sport you are going to do. Regular exercise will not only help you improve your fitness, but will also become the basis on which discipline and determination will subsequently develop.

The right motivation and positive changes in appearance will significantly increase your self-confidence.

Important

Remember that you cannot become tough in a couple of days. But with a strong incentive and a clear understanding of the need, you have every chance of achieving your goal.

What distinguishes strong and weak people

There is a big difference between strong and weak people. It comes down to the following points:

A strong personality does not look for those to blame and does not waste time on regrets. There are always difficulties in every person's life. Illnesses, losses, breakups, changes, etc. negatively affect people, making them feel weak and vulnerable. Dejection and pessimism do not allow you to look at the situation objectively and give you the opportunity to overcome it. Strong personalities can endure obstacles without losing their fighting spirit. They learn from the current situation and make efforts to improve the current circumstances. People with a strong-willed character understand that there are many circumstances in life that they cannot influence. Accepting this fact, they work only on what is within their sphere of influence. A person who is weak in spirit tries to control everything that happens around him. When the situation does not turn out the way he wanted, he begins to blame himself or those around him. This position takes a lot of energy and does not bring any benefit to a person. A strong-willed person will not allow other people to control his emotions or decisions. Destructive criticism will not make him feel upset or insecure.

He will not pay attention to gossip and rumors that go behind his back. Regardless of what others think about them, strong-willed people will maintain their self-esteem at the desired level

They will not seek approval, ingratiate themselves, or otherwise gain recognition. Change does not frighten people with strong character. If they understand that they are no longer satisfied with the current situation, for example, the work has become uninteresting or their work is not assessed properly, then they take steps to change it. Leaving your comfort zone and switching to a different lifestyle does not cause depression. Difficulties are not scary either, because a person believes that, thanks to his qualities, he will be able to overcome difficulties. Weak people expect quick results, while strong people understand that it takes time to achieve success. In this regard, a person with an undeveloped will quickly gives up, does not show perseverance, and agrees with what he already has. A strong personality does not compare himself to others and does not envy them. In life there will always be a more beautiful, smarter, luckier person. It is impossible to win the race for supremacy. In addition, each person has different capabilities to achieve a goal: someone has a strong body, a rich family, or developed intellectual abilities. But this does not mean that a person who does not have such abilities should stand in one place. It can develop and grow.

A person with a strong-willed character relies only on himself and carefully allows other people into his life. They know how to value their own and other people’s time, do not waste it on empty conversations or meaningless arguments, and avoid communicating with narrow-minded, aggressive or angry people

They are selective in their choice of contacts

It is important that, unlike weak people, people with great fortitude do not strive to appear to be more than they are. They do not brag, do not exaggerate their merits, do not endow themselves with non-existent qualities and do not lie.

How to determine the optimal firmness of a mattress

For newborns from the first days of life.
The first few months of its existence, the child goes through a stage of constant formation of the spine and the musculoskeletal system as a whole. Therefore, pediatricians recommend putting babies to sleep on the hardest possible springless mattresses.
For children from 2 to 13 years old.
During this period, the baby moves from a crib to a teenage one. The mattress chosen for her must take into account the developmental characteristics of the child and significant changes in his body weight over several years. For this purpose, medium-hard models, both spring and springless, are suitable.
For teenagers and young people up to 25 years old.
The formation of the spine continues for a quarter of a century. Therefore, it is not advisable to use soft mattresses for sleeping before the age of 25. Models of medium and high (if there are problems with excess weight) rigidity will be relevant.
For people from 25 to 50 years old.
During this period of life, you can choose a mattress of any hardness, depending on personal preferences and weight category:
up to 55 kg - soft models without coconut coir or with a thick layer on top of it;
from 55 to 90 kg – medium-hard mattresses. In this case, pay attention to the maximum permissible load for the selected model. If it is above the 140 kg mark, the product will seem too dense and uncomfortable for sleeping;
more than 90 kg – mattresses with a maximum stiffness parameter. Models with a reinforced spring block or a double layer of coconut coir will work well here. If the mattress is used for sleeping by a couple, it is necessary to focus on the weight of the heavier partner.
People over 50 years old.
Very hard mattresses are contraindicated for them - this can lead to serious problems with the intervertebral discs. The optimal choice for them would be soft and medium-hard models.
For people with musculoskeletal problems.
If a person has spinal diseases, it is necessary to first consult with your doctor. In each case, the selection of a mattress must be carried out individually. But there are also general recommendations:
if there are problems in the thoracic or cervical regions, medium-hard models are suitable;
in the presence of diseases in the lumbar region, soft mattresses are most relevant;
For osteochondrosis and problems with posture, rigid models are recommended.

Thinking

A person’s thinking can also affect their character. To develop a strong character, you need to think positively. As practice shows, you can work on character at any time; if a person is strong, then he will be able to rebuild and change.

It is worth noting that what a person constantly thinks about and what he imagines in his thinking becomes his reality after some time. After all, how a person thinks is how he lives. Any wise and intelligent person thinks only positively, he considers himself confident and that he will succeed. If you want to attract success, you must think that you will succeed and have enough strength for everything. It’s not for nothing that people say that thoughts are material.

When it comes to women, they believe that next to him is a loved one who is the best, even if this is actually not the case. It is with such thoughts that women can be happy and have a good mood.

What is character from a psychological point of view?

Before looking at what a tough character is, let's look at the definition as a whole. In general, this definition is abstract and can be viewed from several perspectives:

On the one hand, this is the totality of all the traits of a human personality, what makes up his image, characterizes him.
On the other hand, character is often understood as the ability to defend one’s own opinion, inner core, will, and determination. It is about the absence of these traits that we say: “You are a spineless person,” thus implying internal weakness.

A tough type of character is formed under the influence of various circumstances. Let's look at these traits separately for women and men.

Getting rid of old things

You definitely need to get rid of old things that are dragging you down. Those things that you haven’t used for several months should either be given to someone or thrown away. The same applies to people, if you do not communicate with a person and it is unlikely that he will be useful to you, then you need to boldly part with him. And don’t worry about those things and people you broke up with. Remember that there will be many useful and necessary acquaintances in your life. You just have to wait.

It is also imperative to part with those people and things that make you sad and remind you of something unpleasant. If you get rid of negativity in time, you will be able to find harmony and focus on what you really need.

You need to give up everything that you don't need. And you shouldn’t think about leaving this or that thing. You need to understand that you need to live in the present and make room in your life for the present, getting rid of the old and unnecessary.

Stay true to your values

Ultimately, being tough comes down to knowing your values and acting on them. Understanding this will help you fend off petty insults and avoid sinking into depression. This will help you understand what is truly important to you and develop a strategy for achieving your goals. This, by the way, is the answer to the question of how to become tough in a relationship. Subordinate your relationship and your partner to your own moral, ethical, life and personal values - and then everything will go like clockwork.

Emotional intellect

Psychological strength is determined by emotional intelligence. You cannot be a psychologically strong person if you do not understand negative emotions, do not know how to manage them and achieve a productive result in spite of everything. The moments in which your psychological strength is tested also test your emotional intelligence. This is a flexible skill that you can develop through conscious effort. All the most successful people have high emotional intelligence. It is relatively rare: only thirty-six percent of people are able to recognize what emotions they are experiencing.

“Only a personal example is truly contagious”

As a mother of two, school teacher and researcher, Angela Duckworth is of the opinion that parents do not have to choose sides: be either soft and supportive or strict and demanding. These two hypostases can be combined.

Wise parents care about the interests of their child and his psychological state, but they do not believe that the child knows better than them what and when to do, how much to work and when to quit the game. They understand that a child needs love, support, boundaries, discipline and freedom - only if all these conditions are met can he truly realize his potential. Their authority is based on knowledge and wisdom, not on strength and power.

Our shelf includes books that are recommended by the heroes of our interviews and columnists. Get a month on Bookmate for free using promo code RUSBASE.

Only a personal example is truly contagious. Most successful people first imitate their parents and then compete with them. Even if you are a psychologically wise parent, your children may not develop strength of character because you yourself do not know how to persistently and persistently achieve long-term goals.

Always start with yourself: think about whether you have a hierarchy of goals, what you see as your calling, and so on. If you feel that commitment to long-term goals is not your strongest trait, find a good mentor for your child.

The author claims that as soon as your child is old enough, he must be enrolled in a club or section outside the school curriculum. Children of elementary and middle school should engage in at least one additional activity based on their interests, and high school students should also be subject to the following condition: at least a year for each activity.