It is customary to look at problems with character as a purely external defect, because from the outside it seems that only the person’s surroundings suffer from it. The bearer of the defect, according to popular opinion, is satisfied with everything, otherwise he would have taken action long ago or, at least, a decision to strengthen his character. To understand whether this is so in reality, let's draw a parallel with a physical deficiency, for example, with stoop. A slouched person is unpleasant to look at - this is all he can do to complicate the life of those around him. The person himself suffers from:
- Hostile glances.
- Regular back pain.
The first affects self-esteem, makes a person suspicious, creates permanent stress, which cannot but affect mental health. The second needs no comment.
Many readers will argue that a physical defect is more difficult to correct than a personal one. This is a myth, and it is not spread by the smartest people who do not recognize any efforts other than mechanical ones. Like, it’s hard to carry sacks of potatoes, but internal work cannot be hard by definition. How can it be, only because there are no instructions for its implementation, no guarantees of success, no unambiguous guidelines.
The path of personality transformation is a path of endless making and correcting mistakes. That’s why deciding on it is more difficult than coming up with an excuse for all your shortcomings.
And yet, the issue has been studied for a long time; there has always been a demand for services in the field of improving personal qualities, so modern psychologists and psychotherapists are able to help a person change himself. They act as a kind of guides, helping to avoid some mistakes and not lose support at the first difficulties. However, a person always does the main work himself.
If we talk specifically about developing a strong character, then this is one of the most understandable areas of development, since hardness is always a response to stress. If the stress is physical, the muscles harden; if the stress is moral, the will becomes stronger and the character is strengthened. The only way to develop strength of character is to constantly test it for strength, but do it wisely, without going to extremes, without trying to carry more than you can lift.
Think less
The first stopping factor is fear, which can be obvious or hidden. Obvious fear is felt in moments of direct danger, it is easy to detect, it is understandable, because it is in the area of consciousness. Hidden fear is a reaction to a perceived danger, lives in the subconscious and is difficult to detect. Symptoms of such fear are doubts and “excuses.” There are statistics showing that the most successful businessmen are poor planners but men of action. Such a person will smash his head against the wall 30 times, but on the 31st he will find a weakness in the wall. And those who like to tinker with plans for a long time too often do not come to action, because there are reasons to change their minds.
What does strong character mean?
From birth, a person has a temperament. It is almost impossible to change it. But a person’s character can be adjusted. However, this is quite difficult to do. A person who has a strong character is an example for all people. Since such a person overcomes all obstacles, makes serious decisions and competently copes with emerging emotions. Also, a person with a strong character combines the following qualities:
- Determination.
- Excerpt.
- Persistence.
- Integrity.
- Determination.
- Strength of will.
However, it is quite difficult to meet such a person. Since an ideal strong character practically does not exist. After all, for some it is highly developed, and for others it is weak. Such qualities are improved throughout a person’s life. People with strong character constantly struggle with obstacles. In this way they strengthen their will and make him stronger.
Work with motivation
When it comes to the fundamental principles of life, such as maintaining health, inviolability of home, and the safety of loved ones, there are no soft people. Everyone immediately becomes tough and begins to defend their interests. Even if the character never existed, it will appear and manifest itself so clearly that everyone will be surprised. This speaks of the great potential of the human psyche, of the reserves that are tapped in the event of a “mortal” need, when the harmful expression “no big deal” stops working.
An extreme situation differs from a non-extreme one in that it does not allow absentee optimism - “it won’t work out and that’s okay,” replacing it with “it’s bound to work out.” Learn to artificially create such a mood when approaching any task.
Internal energy core
Strong character is a person’s internal energy, which allows him to overcome obstacles on the way to his goal. Character begins to form from the very birth of a small child. The formation of strength of character is influenced by a person’s environment, upbringing and traditions of the people. The formation of character (worldview) ends at the age of 18, and after that it becomes almost impossible to change a person.
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What is character formed from, this invisible foundation of any person? This is a complex mental formation, which consists of many shades, polar manifestations, traits and qualities. Character is manifested through a person's thoughts, words and actions. It is through actions that one can get an idea of a person’s strong or weak character.
Characteristics of a strong character:
- persistence;
- The will to win;
- determination;
- subsequence;
- independence;
- independence;
- perseverance.
The strength of his character is judged by how a person can overcome obstacles and move towards a goal. A spineless person goes with the flow and does not resist obstacles in his path. He is more a follower than a leader; he does not strive to take a leading position and conquer the heights of life.
Note! A person's character is revealed through his will.
Showing strength of character:
- active energetic actions;
- bringing the work started to completion;
- overcoming obstacles on the way to the goal;
- focus of efforts.
Important! The hallmarks of a strong character are innovation, initiative, and enthusiasm.
A person is not afraid of difficulties, his words do not diverge from his deeds, and his behavior is consistent and logical. A spineless person shows cowardice, is afraid of difficulties, does not keep his word and does not want to take responsibility for any assignment.
To determine the degree of character strength, you need to write down the strengths and weaknesses of your personality in a notebook. This will allow you to determine the direction of movement and methods of influence. You just need to honestly identify all your weaknesses and strengths in order to achieve real results. Don't embellish your qualities, but don't belittle them either.
Track your achievements
Toughness of character does not come out of thin air; it is a consequence of self-confidence, which is supported by opportunities. Mostly people who don’t believe in themselves complain about a lack of toughness. A person’s self-esteem is structured in such a way that it can only be regulated with the help of facts. We won, achieved, achieved - self-esteem is in the plus; we lost, lost, gave up - self-esteem is in the minus. It is noteworthy that all victories and achievements can count as positives; it is important to start giving them importance. To do this, keep a diary or journal, write down every small victory in it and strive to ensure that there are more entries.
Show leadership qualities
Speak up and let others speak up
Dealing with shyness can take a lot of effort, but your voice must be heard. Try to actively participate in work meetings, speak clearly and clearly, justify your point of view, and, sooner or later, those around you will begin to listen to you.
If you don’t have problems with shyness, you may not notice how often you interrupt others and don’t let them speak. Showing restraint also demonstrates strength of character. Let others be heard and create frequent discussions.
Be open to new things
Every time you learn something new, you build your character. Do not miss the opportunity to apply this principle both in your personal life and in your work. You might say to your boss, “I'd like to know more about the accounting portion of our project. May I attend a meeting on this issue today?”
Don't be shy to ask for help
Some people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In fact, it is an indicator of your strength of character, your ability to recognize and articulate your needs. Your requests must be specific and understandable. Instead of saying, “You don't do anything around the house!”, try saying, “It would be great if you did the laundry and walked the dog today.”
Notice the strengths of others
Good leaders know that it is more effective to support the successes of others than to undermine them. Help people recognize their strengths and capitalize on them in team play. You might say, “You're really good at presentations. Would you like to speak on behalf of the department?”
Focus on the team's success, not just your own. Approach collaboration from a “we” perspective rather than an “I” perspective.
Learn to face difficulties
Instead of ignoring the problem, find a way to solve it. Assess the situation objectively and avoid impulsive reactions. For example, you run a department and one of your valuable employees quits without notice. Do not be angry. Better think about how to get out of the situation. You will probably have to redistribute tasks among employees. Gather the team, explain the situation and invite them to think through options together.
Create the desired image for yourself and work on its implementation
Just don’t focus on creating an image; it’s enough to just understand what you’re doing. In fact, your task is to become who you want to become, now. That is, if you dream of becoming a self-confident person, strong, with a decisive and tough character, there is no point in waiting until you turn into him through some evolutionary path. It’s best to write down the key qualities of your new “me” on paper and immediately start developing them. For example, sign up for a gym or boxing class to improve your appearance, learn to fight back and reinforce your decisiveness with the weight of your fist in case of emergency.
How to develop such character
At the very beginning of a person’s journey, it is necessary to understand that restrictions contribute to development. Discipline will help you develop strong character. You need to start gradually. If a person wants to do everything at once, then he will quickly give up. First of all, you need to become responsible. In addition, a person must understand that everyone can make mistakes. Even strong people make mistakes and stumble. You need to stop paying attention to the negative aspects in life. Also, in order to develop a strong character, a person needs a lot of time. You should start with small accomplishments.
Surround yourself with examples
The saying “Whoever you mess with, you’ll get rich from” works. A person learns fastest when he repeats after another person, even if he does not realize it. The more people with a tough character in your environment, the more features of their behavior will be passed on to you in the course of communication and joint activities. You don’t even have to consciously do anything; changing your character to a tougher one will happen by itself, the main thing is to find a suitable environment.
Negative aspects of character
People with this temperament do not always have flexible thinking. Such people look from the outside like stubborn sheep. Not every person likes such qualities. After all, they often do not listen to the opinions of others, even if they do wrong.
Experts characterize hardness as strength. People with this character have a strong worldview. However, it may change over time. A person with a strong character will not break.
Almost all human traits have negative sides that cause inconvenience to others. A person with a strong character often considers his opinion to be the most correct. Such people do not take those around them seriously. Such a person knows what and when a person needs to do. As a result, people constantly give advice, even when it is not needed. Sometimes this happens in a rude manner.
Thus, a person can miss a lot of positive moments and acquaintances. In addition, close and dear people turn away from stubborn people. It can also be a problem at work. Colleagues do not always understand a person who considers his views to be more important than those of others.
Read books
Users recommend reading books of completely different genres. Autobiographies - to glean the experience of great people, strong in spirit. Fiction - to develop imagination and play out difficult situations that may ever happen to you. And books on self-development - to get motivation and learn useful psychological techniques.
Dmitry Sergeev proposed a list of three main works, in his opinion: Robin Sharma “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari”, Dale Carnegie “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” and Stephen Covey “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
Postpone until later
An independent person is able to resist not only other people and circumstances, but first of all himself. He knows when procrastination is appropriate, and when he needs to pull himself together and, without unnecessary whining and suffering, do what needs to be done right now. This helps him avoid unexpected deadlines, project failures, poor grades in school, and domestic conflicts with loved ones. This is a great way to free up your time for great accomplishments and save your nerves.
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I want to become a strong person
Do you want to become a strong personality?
Pay attention to these simple recommendations:
- Do some self-reflection
. Think about your preferences and desires. Take several personality tests and answer unexpected questions from them. You probably still don’t understand what kind of person you are - figure it out.
- Achieve your goals
, both small and significant. With every task completed, self-esteem will grow.
- Play sports
. A person who strives to become strong in spirit must not forget about the strength of the body.
- Improve your speaking skills
, work on developing eye contact. When talking, look into the eyes of your interlocutor for so long that you can at least determine the color of his eyes.
- Have your own opinion
, don't give in to pressure. Don't go to extremes: be confident, but not cocky. Advice from wise people is appropriate, but think with your own head, do not follow public opinion.
- Don't be superficial
. Go deeper into the study of issues that are relevant to you, draw conclusions after fully studying the information.
- Remember your inner strength, remind yourself of it
. Mentally say: “I am strong”, “I can cope with any problem”, “I will overcome obstacles”, “I will succeed.”
