Why everything is annoying: we identify the cause of the “angry” mood and learn not to be angry like a dog

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4. Senile aggression: why does it occur, what to do with it?

Aggression in old age may be one of the signs of impaired emotional control and social behavior. These symptoms can often indicate the development of dementia. Aggression can be caused by other reasons: age-related changes in character, taking certain medications, personal problems. This condition can and should be corrected: prevented, eliminated, but for this it is important to establish what causes the aggressive behavior.

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Why everything is constantly annoying: 6 possible reasons

Stress

One of the main reasons why some people or situations become annoying for no reason may be going through a stressful period. It can be related to work or school, as well as grief or other traumatic experiences, causing the person to become less tolerant of others.

It's normal to experience stress, but if it goes on for a long time, it can lead to emotional exhaustion. Read about what can help you get back to normal faster in a separate article.

• FAQs How to make your brain stress-resistant: 6 techniques that work Become the master of your mental balance.

Depression

Diagnosed depression can manifest itself in a wide range of symptoms and often causes the following emotions: apathy, sadness, fatigue and irritability. The US National Institute of Mental Health states that people may be depressed if they experience any of the following symptoms for two or more weeks:

• feelings of guilt, worthlessness or hopelessness;
• loss of interest in favorite activities;
• chronic fatigue;
• headache;
• digestive problems;
• sudden changes in appetite or weight.

If you suspect that you may have depression, be sure to see a specialist to diagnose the condition and develop the best treatment strategy.

Anxiety

Feelings of anxiety often arise in response to stressful situations, such as a deadline at work, studying for an important exam, or going through a major life change.

Typically, the feeling of anxiety goes away as soon as the stressful moment is behind us, but in some cases it can persist and worsen, which can negatively affect a person's daily activities, work productivity and personal relationships.

Feelings of constant anxiety or restlessness that persist for more than six months may be a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

Other symptoms of this condition include:

• irritability;
• cardiopalmus;
• shallow breathing;
• muscle tension;
• difficulty concentrating or making decisions;
• trouble falling or staying asleep;
• panic attacks.

If you suspect GAD, you should consult a doctor to determine the severity of the problem and select the optimal treatment.

Lack of sleep

It's no secret that a sleepless night can be the reason why people annoy you the next day.

If you feel tired all the time or find that sleep doesn't make you feel energized, you may have a sleep disorder that causes you to wake up regularly at night, such as insomnia or sleep apnea.

• FAQ: 8 unexpected reasons why we snore (in some cases you need to see a doctor)

Low blood sugar

Low blood sugar, called hypoglycemia, can affect your physical and mental health.

Low blood sugar often affects people with diabetes as a result of their use of insulin and other medications.

Symptoms of hypoglycemia include:

• irritability or nervousness;
• difficulty concentrating;
• cardiopalmus;
• shiver;
• headache;
• drowsiness;
• dizziness.

Hypoglycemia can also affect sleep, causing nightmares and excessive sweating throughout the night. To exclude or confirm this diagnosis, it is necessary to undergo tests.

Hormonal imbalance

Hormonal imbalance can cause a variety of unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms, including irritability. Factors such as high stress levels, poor diet and insufficient sleep can negatively affect a person's hormones.

Low testosterone or high estrogen levels can also cause irritability in men, so it's a good idea to check these indicators.

Go to like-minded people

Go to those who understand you: tell about what is happening to you now, what you feel, think, see. Ask what thoughts and feelings they have, support each other, help, cooperate.

If you can’t calm down, you have complaints about your physical and mental state, seek help - many psychologists now help for free.

We have created a Telegram chat for psychological mutual assistance - there you can talk about your feelings, ask questions and get answers from psychologists, and sign up for a free appointment.

How to deal with irritability: 6 effective tips

Making a number of lifestyle changes can significantly reduce your irritability levels and help you start to feel much better. Here are some helpful strategies to try.

Start exercising (regularly!)

Physical activity can have a positive impact on your well-being and give you positive emotions. The key to success is regular practice.

Try to find a sport that you enjoy and spend at least half an hour training three times a week.

Eat a balanced diet

A diet rich in whole grains, beans, fruits and vegetables, and low in processed foods, will help boost your energy and have a positive effect on your mood and psychological well-being.

3. Maintain a regular sleep schedule

In order to get enough quality sleep, it is important to train yourself to go to bed and get up at approximately the same time every day, including weekends. Two simple life hacks that will help you get better sleep can be found in a separate material.

• FAQs Two unexpected life hacks that will help you start getting enough sleep (finally) And why didn’t we know about this before?

4. Practice slow breathing techniques

You can quickly cope with an attack of irritability with the help of conscious slow breathing. Try inhaling for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and then slowly exhale for a count of eight.

Another way to calm yourself through your breathing is to count your inhalations and exhalations backwards from 60 to zero. Close your eyes and say to yourself “inhale sixty,” and then “exhale sixty,” “inhale fifty-nine,” and so on.

You'll see, after a few minutes of this practice, your mental balance should be restored.

Start meditating

Meditation is a simple and effective way to not only cope with your negative emotions, but also begin to feel happier. Read about how to start doing it in a separate material.

• Lifestyle How to meditate at home correctly: 13 tips for beginner Zen practitioners (om-mm) A selection of tips for those who want to start meditating. Step-by-step instructions for the first practice and useful tips on how to make the training as effective as possible.

Make an appointment with a practicing psychotherapist (available online)

Talk therapy and working through the psychological causes of irritability can be extremely effective in combating and controlling negative emotions.

• FAQs Online psychotherapy is better than offline: 5 secrets that will help you get the most out of video calling. It may be unusual, but it’s worth a try.

• Author: Maria Minaeva

How to listen to others?

When a person feels bad, he definitely doesn’t look for advice and the standard “everything will be fine.” It is important to be close, to withstand the whole palette of emotions and feelings of the interlocutor, to sit, looking into his eyes. You can say what is happening to you at this moment, what you feel: “I see how hurt you are, I sympathize with you.”

If you don’t feel anything, it will be enough: “I don’t know how it is, but I definitely see how bad you are, and I can be with you now.” There is no need to give advice, this is how we move away from the person and his experiences, we run away.

Shared experience is a huge value in the human world, and a crisis helps people turn to each other. The other side of anxiety is love. We fear for our loved ones because we love them, and the more we love them, the more we are afraid. If my anxiety is an expression of my love, then what can I do out of love and not out of anxiety?

What to do?

Treatment of neurosis requires a careful examination and identification of the cause of the disease. You can do without medications only when the disease is at an early stage. Self-medication is unacceptable! Even banal valerian can cause undesirable consequences. Ancient Indian medicine, Ayurveda, copes very well with neuroses. Doctors, based on centuries-old knowledge, help patients forget about their illness. Ayurvedic centers in India are a great way to get rid of life-destroying neurosis.

How to understand that neurosis already exists? This is not difficult, as there are certain symptoms:

• Emotional instability, mood swings;
• Indecision, passivity;
• Low or too high self-esteem;
• Fear, anxiety, fussiness;
• Irritability, aggressiveness;
• Constant criticism of what is happening, touchiness and pickiness;
• Uncertainty in desires and aspirations;
• Tearfulness, suspiciousness, vulnerability;
• Obsessive fixation on problems;
• Decreased performance and concentration, increased fatigue;
• Strong reactions to external stimuli (light, noise, etc.);
• Meteosensitivity;
• Sleep disorders.

What is neurosis

Neurosis - this term belongs to the Scottish doctor William Cullen and was introduced in 1776 - a functional disorder of higher nervous activity of psychogenic origin. This disease can drag on for years, and it can occur in a person of any gender, age and social status. Neuroses are especially common among those who are experiencing changes in the body - adolescents and the elderly.

Neurosis significantly reduces the quality of life and reduces a person’s social activity due to the appearance of conflict, irritability and even aggressiveness. If the disease lasts too long, psychotic disorders may occur.

Correcting behavior

Now that the “explosion” has been prevented, we can talk about methods of behavior correction that require a lot of time and effort, but also have great prospects.

• It has been scientifically proven that anger is as dangerous to the cardiovascular system as cholesterol. To definitely want to get rid of uncontrollable anger, put all its consequences on the scales: discord in relationships with loved ones, problems at work, deteriorating health, early death, loneliness. Now act, don’t retreat a single step. Always remember these risks (it is useful to print them out in a list and place them in a visible place).
• The cause of anger always lies within you. No, it’s not the boss who’s bad, it’s you who are dissatisfied with your job. Why? If your boss really scolds you in vain, then change your job. If you're at it, improve your skills and stop being angry at your boss (read: yourself). Don't you like the activity itself? Change the scope. You are scared? Everyone is afraid to leave their comfort zone. Stay in it, but then learn to live with your anger (read: dissatisfaction). A friend has taken care of himself, now compared to him you are losing? Start changing too, then you will stop being angry with him (read: at your laziness, lack of will and apathy). I think the analogies are clear; there is no need to continue.
• Don’t hush up your dissatisfaction, don’t be afraid to ask. This must be done in a cultural form. To do this, it is useful to know the characteristics of the interlocutor (habits, character, temperament), be able to communicate, express and feel emotions.
• In moments of oncoming flashes, remember the emotion or feeling that comes after: disappointment, shame, regret. For some people, an angry release brings satisfaction, but such individuals usually do not see the problem and do not want to change (this is what their environment wants). And since you are still reading this article, then satisfaction from anger is not your case. Then the method of remembering emotions will do. If you are a brave person, then ask your family to take a photo of you in a moment of anger. Nobody likes this picture. Strange. Why? Hang up your “posters” as a visual example of the alternative personality that is destroying you.
• Imagine how much effort goes into hatching plans for revenge, remembering grievances, and experiencing fears and anxieties. Don't you feel sorry for your own potential, which is not realized because your whole life revolves around anger? I feel sorry for him. What you cannot change, accept and let go. Change what you can influence. How? Make a step-by-step plan and slowly but surely move towards your goal. Focusing on the meaning of your life will help with this. Do you have it? Or not? Then find it!
• Develop optimism and a sense of humor. With him everything becomes simpler and less significant.
• Anger can be both a response to stress and a cause of it. In this regard, any techniques for overcoming stressful situations are suitable. Visit popular anti-stress attractions, such as breaking dishes.
• Speak or write down your anger and its reasons. This will allow you to look at the situation differently, accept it and draw up an action plan. Behind anger there is always an unsatisfied need. What do you need to be happy right now?
• Don't judge by the past. Be prepared to give the person a new chance for constructive dialogue. People tend to change. By the way, as well as external circumstances.
• If someone really harms you, deliberately angers you (and you didn’t come up with this), then these are already the problems of that person. Feel sorry for him, help him, laugh about it to yourself, or refuse to interact. You should not stir up a scandal and point out your opponent’s problems and sorrows (especially in an angry manner).
• To respond to relationship problems with dignity, learn tolerance, respect, and self-esteem. Study psychology, personality traits. Improve your communication skills. Did you know that some people, due to their innate characteristics, cannot make decisions and do quality work in a short time? No? And this happens. How awkward it turned out: you were angry with the person for irresponsibility and slowness, and you also insulted him. And the answer lies in the processes of inhibition and excitation in the opponent’s psyche. The better you understand people, the more realistic your expectations and requirements for them will be. Often anger is born precisely on the basis of our own inadequate expectations or demands.
• We get to know ourselves through relationships. The better you know others, the better you know yourself. After self-knowledge comes self-control.
• Direct the same anger that you feel now not into aggression and resentment, but into action. Make yourself known (but in a socially acceptable way), your interests, needs and desires. Let anger play the function that is primary - competition, survival, advancement.
• Don’t suppress anger, otherwise you will lose yourself, become nothing (no feelings, no desires, no aspirations, no interests, only illness).
• Don't try to get rid of anger, learn to express it. Sometimes it’s enough to say “I’m angry,” “It makes me angry...”, “Please don’t do that.” Talking is always useful.

Thus, getting rid of anger involves getting rid of its roots or what it hides. Resentment - forgive, emptiness - fill (hobbies, love, friends, communication), loneliness (misunderstanding) - eliminate, needs - satisfy, meaning of life - find, physical pain (illness) - heal.