Happiness is what each of us strives for. We strive for happiness and try to avoid suffering. To become happier, people want to suffer less, but achieving this goal is not so easy. I spent 5 years studying psychology at a Higher Educational Institution and another 8 years of conscious life trying to find the answer to this question. I am afraid that I still cannot give a definitive answer to this question, but I could formulate the main things that I was able to understand thanks to the thoughts, words and actions of wise teachers.
You are probably reading this post because you are experiencing suffering. You want to free yourself from this feeling, you want to develop a more stable state of happiness.
Is it possible to achieve a state of happiness?
Yes! All in our hands. Wherever you are now, you can become happier if you make an effort!
I noted that these things are the most important reasons for increasing happiness:
Build strong and kind relationships
A Harvard University study that studied the lives of men for 75 years concluded that strong friendships had the greatest impact on their happiness. People who are in harmonious relationships with society have better health and generally assess their condition as more positive than people experiencing alienation.
Relationships are hard work. This is the work of a lifetime. There is no end to it, it is fraught with great difficulties, but it is important to maintain good relationships. In this way you serve people and yourself.
Make the most of your short breaks
You have short periods of free time throughout the day. We are used to spending this time checking social networks, watching YouTube videos and other useless things. Combine all similar applications on your smartphone into one category and call it “Waste of my life.”
Instead, place useful applications on the main page - for learning foreign languages, reading books, and so on. By taking small breaks to do good things and not mindlessly consuming information, you create a learning habit.
50 ideas for a break from work →
Think about others more often.
In a state of unhappiness, we constantly think about ourselves: “I feel bad, why has my life turned out so poorly? Why are all these failures happening to me?” This is the thinking of a sick mind. A healthy mind thinks like this: “Yes, I have problems now, but how many people are suffering more than me right now? There is so much suffering in life and this suffering passes from generation to generation. I have to do something to make the World a better place!”
Think about others, wish them well, take concrete actions to improve the lives of those around you. Take care of your loved ones, give them your attention, and you will notice how happier you have become!
A famous psychiatrist named 10 rules for living a harmonious and happy person
Dear Lyudmila! First of all, I want to tell you that my husband knows nothing about this letter - a phone that was accidentally thrown unattended, SMS messages that were accidentally not erased, and that's all - I know about your existence and have been watching with interest for the past four months the developments in your life. touching Santa Barbara.
The reason that prompted me to write to you
This is not jealousy or a desire to protect one's property. It’s just that the series that gave me so much pleasure for the first couple of months has become boring and monotonous, and I would like to help you turn its flow in some more optimistic direction.
Firstly , I would like to say that you are definitely a great guy. In general, the tactics are absolutely correct. My husband is very lazy, and he himself would never take the crooked path of adultery. And your persistence and determination are exactly what is needed in this situation.
There is only one small BUT. You shouldn’t bombard him with text messages like “Will you give me a ride home today?”, “Would you like to have lunch together today?”, “Would you like to go to the theater?” It's completely useless. Buy tickets to the theater and invite him, pay for a table in a restaurant and call him, lying that today is the anniversary of the loss of innocence, in general, take the initiative into your own hands - he is a very busy person and there is no action on his part. You, anyway, you won't wait. At least at this stage.
SMS messages like “I want you”, “I miss you” are also good, but when in response you have not received a similar answer for the fourth month, but only “See you at work”, don’t you really want to think “Why?” and change tactics a little? So, about the mistakes. Alas, but for now your chances of seducing him are zero.
The second mistake is that you are blonde with straight hair. Yes, I carefully studied your VKontakte page, your name is rare enough that I can easily figure it out. Let me say right away - you are cute. I don’t want to upset you, but he already has one blonde without boobs. At home. And my excessive thinness, with his love for thin people, generally nullifies your advantages over me. Men need variety. I'm sharing a secret. His ideal is red-haired, long-legged young ladies with curvy figures. So, it's a small matter. Heels - no lower than 15 cm, you are 162 cm tall, as far as I understand, hair dye, and not the most expensive surgical operation. And the crane is practically in your hands.
Third. This is not even a mistake, but my personal request. Conspiracy, conspiracy and more conspiracy. Well, if you hadn’t sent him text messages at one in the morning, would the thought of getting into his phone have arisen in my head? Never. And when my husband starts writing something at one in the morning or, worse, going out onto the balcony and calling back in a whisper, then only a log can not get into the phone, to which I, born on the Day of Curiosity, have absolutely nothing to do with. And, all sorts of unexpected discoveries make my trembling and sensitive body nervous. And I don't like to be nervous.
In conclusion…
I really hope that I will never feel your presence in his life again, well, except, perhaps, his burning eyes. Otherwise, all your touching SMS messages will go to the honorable Nikolai Vladimirovich, indicated on VKontakte by your legal spouse. Although, I sincerely believe in your prudence, because I do not approve of extreme measures, and you suit me with everything.
I like that you are married, I like that, according to my husband, you are kind. Good luck to you and every success in the difficult task of seducing my husband. If you need help or have any other questions, I am at your service.
From your lover's wife, Masha Cheburashkina.
From the editor: Before the wisdom of the Woman who wrote this letter to her rival, I want to take off my hat and bow to her at the waist. How many of us are able to resolve the delicate situation of adultery with such dignity, grace and nobility? We leave the question open...
by Typical girl
Pay less attention to problems
Stumbling across suffering in life is as natural as sneezing from pepper in your nose. One time you sneeze harder, another time you might be lucky. Nevertheless, suffering exists. It is absolutely normal that we encounter unfavorable conditions or problems. Everyone lives like this. There is no other life. And it is important to understand that you should not give increased attention to suffering. I'm not talking about a disregard for everything around you. On the contrary, develop compassion, empathize with people, but remember that it is very unlikely that at some point suffering will disappear. It was and it is. You can relate to everything that happens more easily and then solutions to the most difficult issues will become more accessible to your mind.
Control your finances
Finances create a lot of stress and anxiety. But it is not money that causes stress, but chaos in financial affairs and a lack of understanding of how to manage them.
Learn to work with money so that you become the master of the situation.
Unless you plan to go into the deep taiga and hunt and gather for food, money is a part of your life for the rest of your days. Moreover, it is an important part of it.
So take the time to gain basic knowledge about taxes, investing, savings and loans. And once a week, two weeks or a month, analyze your finances and see where the money is going.
10 best apps for personal finance →
Cherish your moment
We live only a short moment. Look at your hand - do you see the bacteria and microorganisms that live on it? No – but they are there. Their life passes in a matter of moments. Do not be surprised. If someone big looks at you from Space, then you will look like an inconspicuous, invisible microorganism. This is exactly how short your life is for the Universe - just one moment. Appreciate this moment, love every second. Everything that doesn’t happen is all fine, because it only happens once. Fall in love with your life and live it with this feeling of undying love.
Make friends with your fears
I am afraid of many things in life, but I had to learn to thank my fear: “I understand, you protect me, you are my “bodyguard.” We don't appreciate that it is fear that keeps us alive for so long.
We are still alive because at a certain point our fear tells us: “Don’t get in that guy’s car,” “Don’t walk on dark streets,” “Don’t go in the water, you’re not a very good swimmer.”
We are indebted to our fears for the life we saved. Start telling your fear how much you appreciate it. You need to be friends with your fears.
Keep living
It's a shame when something doesn't work out. But the worst thing is when we give up and we say: “I will never tell anyone about my dreams again,” “I will never love again,” “I will never do this again.” So what then do we have to do for the rest of our lives? Waiting to die and paying bills until that day comes?
If there can be happy moments in our life, we should not give up. We must continue to live. There is nothing more meaningful in life than simply being a curious and interested person.
Don't waste yourself on those who don't care about you
The world is full of people. Already more than seven billion. No matter what kind of person you are, someone will definitely like you. Therefore, do not waste yourself on those who do not care about you. If a person doesn’t need you, that’s his choice. As they say, you can’t force yourself to be nice. So why try to please everyone and prove to your ill-wishers that you are worthy of their love and acceptance? There are enough people in this world who will appreciate you for your qualities. Surround yourself with these kinds of people and you will save more energy for achievements!
So we looked at the basic rules of a happy life. If you start sticking to them today, your tomorrow will be much better. Get to know this world, explore yourself in it and remember, we do not live forever, so there is no need to waste the years allotted to us on something that does not bring pleasure. Live for yourself and enjoy every day!
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Don't try to change anyone but yourself
Even mature, experienced people fall into the trap of false hope. At the subconscious level, we succumb to the idea that we can change other people. This is a dangerous illusion that does not lead to anything good. Don't try to change anyone but yourself. All attempts to influence someone are completely futile, especially if this someone is not interested in change. A person can only be changed by life circumstances along with conscious work on oneself. Let people be who they are and focus on your own personality. It is stupid to try to achieve a goal that has nothing to do with you. This will only lead to disappointment and despondency. And the desire to change another person is precisely such a goal. The only person you can make better or worse is yourself. Work on yourself, become better, and over time you will learn to enjoy it and use the situation to your advantage. In addition, you will agree that it is much more productive to spend your own energy on yourself, and not on someone else. And with those people with whom you are uncomfortable communicating, it is easier to simply part ways.
Life is not endless
Unfortunately, we are not gods. And human life is not endless. We only have so many years on earth. On a historical scale, this is nothing more than zilch. Awareness of this fact usually occurs during adolescence. But we stubbornly pretend that we are going to live forever - but now we are just a draft of real life. But you shouldn’t live every day like it’s your last either. Give enough time to all aspects of your life: work, family, friends, but don’t forget about yourself. You have the right to rest, pleasure, idleness, gifts and small daily joys.
Be patient with yourself
You don't have to take a huge leap and spend a lot of effort to become happy. Everyone is waiting for some sign or miracle. There's certainly something dramatic and exciting about this, but it doesn't happen often. We are all looking for the easy way out. But I didn't write my book in one day.
Before doing this, I went through a lot, there were a lot of tears. To achieve the "white line", you will have to fix the things that need to be fixed. And for this you need to be patient with yourself, the ability to forgive yourself and others, because change is a difficult matter.
