Psychological pressure on a person: how to resist

Have you ever quarreled with your loved one? Have you ever done something after such a quarrel that you later regretted? Are you familiar with the situation when you thought about an idea for a long time in order to then voice it, for example, to your boss at work, but after a conversation with him you left the office squeezed like a lemon, and even with the need to carry out a completely different project? Have you ever made unnecessary promises or taken on ridiculous obligations while communicating with someone?

If you answered positively to at least one of the proposed questions, it means that you have experienced from your own experience that this is psychological pressure. Unfortunately, communication with people around us, including even those closest to us, is not always free from manipulation and attempts to influence us. Knowing how to withstand psychological pressure is not a whim or upgrading your skills, but a real necessity of life.

What is psychological pressure

Psychological pressure is the influence that a person exerts on others to change their judgments, beliefs, opinions and decisions.

At first glance, this looks like an act of good intentions, which can only be carried out by strong and independent individuals. But such people are able to express their opinions directly, without any tricks.

But the methods of psychological pressure are used precisely by people who are unsure of themselves and have no real power. Such pressure makes the victim feel vulnerable and brings anxiety. It is very undesirable to use such techniques also because they bring only a temporary effect. Everything indicates that this is an extremely negative phenomenon. But everyone should know what it is and how to resist psychological pressure in order to be able to resist the manipulations of others.

Mobbing at work is the law. Examples of mobbing

“When I was talking on the phone, my boss could say in front of the whole department, why are you discussing recipes there, that’s all you can do, even if I was talking with work colleagues. It's very humiliating." Alisa, 25 years old.
"You can not do it. You haven’t completed any special courses and don’t have any certificates.” Although I know for sure that certificates are not needed to perform this activity.” Marina, 32 years old
“They don’t have the authority or the brains to make decisions. I am your leader, as I said, so you will do.” Olga, 21 years old.
“You’re always late for work, we couldn’t wait for you and made the decision without you. Next time you won't be late. Sleepy." Larisa, 29 years old.

The most interesting thing is that this is only a part of the statements that were sent to me when I conducted the survey “Have you experienced psychological terror or harassment at work?” As a result, 100 people shared more than 2.5 thousand statements and situations. The scale is impressive. Negative statements and constant criticism from both the employer and colleagues, social isolation within the organization, dissemination of false information about the employee, biased assessment of work results lead to a decrease in motivation and interest in work, “freezing” initiative and incentives for an active position in mobbing. -victims. As a result, a person subjected to mobbing may become ill and develop stress. As a result, he will perform his duties poorly and feel psychological fatigue. It has been established that an unhealthy atmosphere in the team, intrigues and disagreements between employees are reflected in financial indicators: labor productivity falls, staff turnover increases, and the team becomes less cohesive.

Types of psychological pressure

Before considering ways to protect against psychological pressure on a person, you should consider what types and methods of psychological pressure exist. This is what determines what behavioral strategy the victim should choose in order to resist the manipulator.

Compulsion

This form is used when one person has more influence in some area than another. For example, psychological pressure often arises at work when a boss forces a subordinate to do something that he does not want and is not even obliged to do, but cannot refuse without any consequences. Any subordinate needs to know about coercion in order to know how to resist psychological pressure at work.

One can confuse coercion with manipulation, but the difference between the former is that the provocateur does not need to come up with any conditions or pretexts to provide information.

Humiliation

This is a way to morally crush a person with the help of unpleasant comments and statements about his appearance, character and actions. After all, it is criticism of personal qualities that hurts the most and negatively affects self-esteem.

As soon as you hear something unpleasant about yourself, you immediately have a desire to refute and prove to others that in reality everything is completely wrong. The aggressor takes advantage of this and offers to do what is beneficial to him. The victim of the situation, of course, agrees.

Avoidance

One of the most sophisticated types of psychological violence. Sometimes, in order to avoid manipulation, one of the participants immediately tries to clarify awkward moments and asks questions head-on, but the interlocutor cleverly avoids them, changes the topic, or simply ignores statements that are inconvenient for him. It gets to the point that this person begins to be indignant at why they are slandering him and twisting his words.

The victim falls into a stupor: everything seems to be going well, but inside there remains a feeling of confusion and anxiety.

Suggestion

Many people have met in their lives such masters of words who were able to instill in them completely ridiculous and unnecessary things. This is not easy to achieve, but aggressors cleverly gain the trust and respect of the listener. After this, you can put any pressure on the person.

The most obvious example of this type of violence is hypnosis, with the help of which gypsies extort money from passers-by. But it is worth noting that there are people who cannot be hypnotized, so this type of psychological pressure will not work with them.

Belief

In appearance, this is a very rational way to persuade your interlocutor to do something. The initiator presents weighty arguments, facts, and consistently presents all the information - it is difficult to resist such logical arguments. In addition, the victim is very flattered that she is considered a deeply educated and intelligent person.

But as soon as you make some mistake or inconsistency of facts, the whole strategy becomes useless. This type is one of the main forms of psychological pressure of a teacher. For a student in elementary school, the teacher is the unconditional authority. Often, in conversations with parents, the child relies on the words of the teacher: “And Maria Ivanovna says that you need to do this.”

A teacher who works without desire and inspiration can use this for his own selfish purposes.

Manipulation

This is one of the main types of psychological pressure on a person, which can be applied in various ways. Its distinctive feature is that the aggressor tries to exert psychological pressure and gain personal benefit at the expense of others in such a way that they are not aware of the true motives. In this regard, not every manipulator can use this method: you need to be not just calculating, but also a cold-blooded person who well understands the psychology of people.

The most obvious example of manipulators is scammers. They have a clear strategy on how to gain benefit from those around them, and skillfully put pressure on the most vulnerable places. Giving alms to the poor is a manipulation of the kindness, compassion and empathy of most people. Big winnings in lotteries and online casinos are a manipulation of people hungry for easy money.

The same type of psychological violence is used in network marketing: cunning methods of calculation show numbers that are attractive to victims, which can be achieved with a minimum of effort.

Manipulators actively put pressure on the victim through attitudes and beliefs that are formed in most people: “You must sympathize and help others,” “You must be responsible for everything that happens,” “Any service must be paid with gratitude,” and others.

But everyone’s most vulnerable place is their own emotions and feelings. And manipulation of them is so widespread in society that many may not even realize that they are engaging in psychological pressure. Parents influence children (it is easiest to exert psychological pressure on a child), men influence women and vice versa. For example, many partners ask their other half for a favor using the phrase: “Don’t you love me?”

All this is manipulated in other areas: at work, in business, in politics, in advertising. Therefore, almost everyone experiences psychological pressure.

Required thanks

A form of psychological pressure in which the manipulator thinks through his actions several steps ahead. He provides an unsuspecting victim with some kind of help or service that no one asked for, as if with the best intentions. This can go on for quite a long time until a person gains trust.

But at some point the manipulator asks for help and pressures him that it’s time to repay the debt. If the victim is not tormented by conscience and does not agree immediately, then such requests can turn into real threats.

There is an exit

There are many recommendations on how to behave for women facing physical violence in the family. And much less - what to do for those who are faced with psychological pressure. In many respects, this happens because in each specific case a face-to-face consultation with a psychologist is necessary: after all, some people really endure humiliation and prohibitions for years, while others call the well-founded claims of their spouse “pressure.” And yet, here are some effective recommendations that can make life easier for the victim.

Respect your feelings and sensations, listen to yourself - psychological discomfort today can turn into a nervous breakdown or psychosomatic illness tomorrow.
Try to look at the situation sensibly and consciously. If a tyrant blames you, is it really your fault? What is the measure of responsibility of the tyrant himself? Is what he accuses you of so important for the life of the family?
Do not think that the behavior of a tyrant will go away on its own. During his outbursts of anger, try to remain calm and do not feed him with your emotions. When he calms down, try to talk to him: tell him that you don’t think the accusations are justified, that his behavior is unacceptable to you.
Tell yourself more often about who you are, what positive qualities you have, what happy moments were and are in your life, remind yourself of your achievements. A tyrant tends to mercilessly devalue the victim. Remember often that you are a person who deserves self-respect.
Strictly stop attempts at tyranny towards your children. They also deserve respect and should not feel inferior at all, no matter how much the tyrant would like to portray them as such.
Try, if possible, to avoid or minimize physical and financial dependence on the rapist.
In case of prolonged psychological pressure, take it seriously and seek help if you are unable to change the situation on your own.

How to resist psychological pressure

If you notice that someone is putting psychological pressure on you, then you should remember that manipulators resort to such measures for a reason. Often these people are not able to bear the burden of their psychological problems and cannot withstand stress. They try to shift responsibility from themselves to strangers in order to feel comfortable.

There may be several reasons for this behavior:

a model of upbringing in a family in which everyone encourages the child’s infantilism;
sharply negative memories of a difficult childhood and more.

The first thing you need to do to resist psychological pressure is to give a straightforward rebuff. The victim must calmly and directly inform the manipulator that his demands will not be met because they have a selfish goal. This will confuse some people and the situation will be over. But especially sophisticated people can continue their actions, this time in a more sophisticated way. And among the victims there may be those who do not know how to openly resist someone; such a conversation can increase their feelings of guilt and make them become even more bogged down in the situation.

A more environmentally friendly way to deal with manipulators is to work on your self-esteem. Its level is directly related to the degree of susceptibility to psychological pressure: the lower a person’s self-esteem, the easier it is to force him to do something he doesn’t want. To improve it, it is necessary to do a lot of work even at the level of thinking. This is especially difficult to do if your environment, including family and friends, consists of toxic individuals. In this case, it is best to seek help from a specialist.

Note!

Please read carefully the characteristics of behavior under psychological pressure:

ignoring your partner's feelings
ridiculing and insulting all women as such
ridiculing and insulting the partner's values and beliefs, as well as her religious beliefs, race, relatives or social group
constant insults, ridicule and criticism of her
humiliation both in private and in public
refusal to communicate with her friends
ban on working
control over the spending of money and all decisions made by her
denial of access to money, car keys and other benefits
frequent threats to leave her
threats against her family and herself
pressure on children in situations where the partner’s opinion differs from hers
threats to kidnap the children if she leaves him
cruelty to domestic animals and killing them in order to intimidate her.
accusing her of something she didn't do
manipulation of facts using lies and contradictions
damage to furniture, household appliances and interior items during disputes.
intimidation with weapons

If you have become a victim of psychological pressure, do not tolerate violence, seek help!

If you know a close friend or relative with a similar problem, help him! Don't be indifferent!

Psychological pressure: protection against manipulation in several steps

Overcoming psychological pressure can be much easier than protecting yourself from it in time. After all, recognizing this phenomenon is sometimes very difficult; the manipulator can choose the most sophisticated types and types of actions.

But if there is even a suspicion of such actions, then you need to use techniques to protect yourself from psychological pressure.

Straightforwardness

You can directly state to your interlocutor’s face that he is behaving too assertively and aggressively; such behavior does not allow him to weigh everything and make a choice. Some manipulators retreat when faced with resistance, but with others you have to use other techniques.

Closed poses

Crossed arms or legs, chin down - all this reduces the degree of psychological pressure. Such poses at the subconscious level give a signal to your partner that you are not ready to cooperate and perceive information.

Mental barriers

Sometimes ordinary thoughts and images give you greater confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s enough to imagine that there is an insurmountable barrier between you and the manipulator: an invisible wall, a deep ditch, a fiery barrier, an impenetrable dome or a spacesuit.

Distraction

To confuse your opponent, you can distract him in various ways: coughing, yawning, tapping on the table, turning pages, straightening clothes or hair. Any physical activity will attract the eye, but it is important that it looks natural and is not repeated too often.

A couple of tips from a psychologist

We are not always able to recognize the aggressor and the manipulative techniques he uses. However, every person has innate instincts to identify such situations. A long stay in a stressful, conflictual atmosphere has a destructive effect and a person strives to get rid of this pressure.

We must not forget that in such cases it is almost impossible to predict the behavior of a particular individual. No matter how you plan, he may act completely differently. This depends on many mental properties that cannot be predicted. Behavior may not be rational or logical.

Strive to use positive influence and communication to avoid unexpected situations. Don't forget to also subscribe to my blog. Until next time.

How to get out of pressure

There are several techniques that will help you take control of the situation and protect yourself from other people’s pressure:

Start asking questions. You can ask yourself: “Do I need to do this? If I want to? Will I benefit? Can I refuse? The answers will help you get into a defensive position if necessary. And clarifying questions to your opponent will help you gain time and identify weak points. It is important to carefully monitor his non-verbal gestures. A person can give up his selfish intentions when he hears confident questions: “Why should I take on such responsibility?”, “Why are you sure that I will agree?” and so on.
Determine the advantage that the partner enjoys. This will help you find your strengths in contrast to his words. If the manipulator puts pressure on him with his experience and knowledge, then he should mention his strong professional qualities and merits. If one hides behind someone’s authority, then one can question it and say that it is a subjective thing. And an unexpected and urgent request can be considered by referring to busyness and more important matters.
Find a way to use your advantages. As stated above, you need to find the same strategy that the interlocutor uses. It is only important to build your defense and not go too far.
Wait until the forces are equal. It is from this moment that you can take the following actions. If you rush and move straight to the next point, your opponent may view this as weakness. And a clear advantage in your favor can contribute to even greater conflict.
Find a compromise and move on to cooperation. At a time when your partner is no longer so confident in his abilities, you can dictate your terms and look for a solution that will be convenient for both. Sometimes you can calmly walk away from interaction with such a person.

The reason for our reactions

Why is it so difficult to stop in a conflict situation, to go beyond the usual behavioral pattern? The reason lies in our physiology, and is explained by the theory of the conditional division of the brain into three main sections:

The “reptile brain” is the most ancient part, activated when a threat to life arises.
The “mammal brain,” which is responsible for experiencing pleasure.
And also the “human brain” - a department that regulates the processes of thinking, rational analysis, and reasoning.

Usually these departments work in peace and harmony. But when a person is “upset,” experiencing anger or fear, arousal predominates in the “reptile brain.” It is this department that dictates the reactions of flight, expression of aggression, and freezing. But in all these cases, a person cannot evaluate his actions from a logical position or understand the opponent’s motivation. This scheme was life-saving for ancient man. Now it causes a lot of inconvenience, although it continues to function in the same mode as millions of years ago.

You can turn off the “reptile brain” only with the help of logical analysis, awareness of the current situation - that is, connecting the frontal lobes. The situation looks much simpler when we have come out of the conflict, cooled down, and are distracted. Physiologically, in the process of analyzing the situation, the following happens - the focus of nervous excitation in the brain moves from more ancient layers to the cortical structures.

Criminal Code of the Russian Federation

Falsification of election documents, referendum documents, deliberately incorrect counting of votes or deliberately incorrect determination of the results of elections, referendums, violation of the secrecy of voting, if these acts were committed by a member of the election commission, initiative group or commission for holding a referendum, are punishable by a fine in the amount of five hundred to seven hundred minimum wages. the amount of remuneration or in the amount of wages or other income of the convicted person for a period of five to seven months or by imprisonment for a term of up to four years.

1. Illegal use of objects of copyright or related rights, as well as appropriation of authorship, if these acts caused large-scale damage, is punishable by a fine in the amount of two hundred to four hundred times the minimum monthly wage, or in the amount of the wages or other income of the convicted person for a period of two to four hundred times the minimum wage. four months, or compulsory labor for a term of one hundred eighty to two hundred and forty hours, or imprisonment for a term of up to two years.

TRANCE

One of the oldest ways to influence the human psyche. It plunges our consciousness into a special state in which the ability to analyze information and make informed decisions is lost. Perception focuses on one thing, naturally beneficial to the manipulator. Trance can be introduced in different ways - most often monotonous stimuli are used, for example, monotonous speech, rapidly changing pictures, swinging a pendulum, etc. ... In such a state, the consciousness is especially vulnerable to pressure, so they can verbally suggest something to you or provoke you into unwanted actions.

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In the case of children

Psychological pressure on a child is an even more serious topic. Everyone knows how weak and fragile the consciousness of children (most of them, anyway) is. They are extremely easy to influence. And we are not talking about healthy pressure, which cannot even be called such (“If you don’t put away the toys, I won’t talk to you” - influence through guilt). This refers to real coercion to do something, an attack on a child (psychological).

The pressure of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation in this case is defined as “Failure to fulfill educational obligations.” This is article number 156. Moreover, the provisions apply not only to parents, but also to employees of educational, social, educational and medical organizations. Cruel treatment is what psychological pressure is equated to. The article also prescribes punishments. This could be a fine of 100,000 rubles, compulsory work (440 hours), elimination of the right to hold a certain position, or imprisonment for three years.

But, of course, cases rarely come to trial. The article of the Criminal Code characterizes psychological pressure in a specific way, but in life it occurs in a different manifestation.

Many parents simply unceremoniously interfere in the child’s space, cruelly control his every step, and force him to do something he doesn’t like (going to a boxing class when the child wants to dance, for example). Some are sure that if you point out his shortcomings, he will correct them. But that's not true. This does not work with all adults who have a stronger psyche and intelligence. And the child will completely withdraw into himself, beginning to doubt his own strengths and abilities, and constantly feeling guilty for no apparent reason. Parents, exerting pressure, thus reflect their own experiences and fears. But in the end they become enemies of their child, not allies. Therefore, issues of education must be approached very responsibly. The birth and personal development of a new member of society is a huge responsibility and serious work.