Jealousy - definition of the concept, causes, signs

Psychology of love and jealousy

Jealousy is definitely a negative feeling for the person who experiences it. It leads to fear, hatred, aggression, sadness, stress. Therefore, this emotion cannot be identified with love and considered an obligatory component of a relationship. By its nature, it is destructive for the jealous person, who tries to get rid of it, harming himself, his partner and potential competitors.

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The basis of love is affection, the desire to spend time with a partner, to build a future together. Jealousy is born out of fear of losing it. It can arise for rational reasons - the coldness of a companion, secrets and omissions, flirting with other people of the opposite sex, reviews of mutual acquaintances about infidelity.

There is nothing bad or unnatural about such a feeling. It performs a natural protective function, saving the female from the risk of being abandoned with children, and the male from the need to raise someone else’s offspring.

Danger arises when jealousy is unreasonable and pathological. The reasons for this are complex psychological mechanisms that trigger the need to fully own a partner. The desire to become the only important person for your chosen one is destructive, and reduces the quality of relationships for the jealous person (due to the impossibility of fulfilling his demands) and the victim, who is tired of scandals and claims.

Manifestations of jealousy depend on the gender of the person. Men are domineering - they have such emotions due to the feeling of losing control over the girl. They believe the reason for this is the emergence of a competitor. The basis for women’s jealousy is a weakening of the emotional connection. If a girl is jealous, it means that she does not feel warmth and care from a guy. Women can hate and blame not only their lover for cooling their feelings, but also their girlfriends, friends, work and hobbies of their companion.

Features of male jealousy

Men, as males, demonstrate their jealousy more clearly. The reason for this is both an exaggerated sense of possessiveness and a heightened desire to lead in the relationship and keep everything in your couple under total control. Uncertainty about your chosen one at the beginning of a relationship can over time develop into pathological jealousy with the need to receive clear reports about your behavior and feelings. To convince your partner of your love and affection, you should surround your loved one with gentleness and care, never trying to rekindle the ardor of love by petty flirting with strangers. Jealousy even more common among adult men , especially in couples where the wife is much younger than the husband . In this case, if you want to save the relationship, you need to talk through the boundaries of permissible and unacceptable situations, hear the partner’s opinion and evaluate your readiness to give him the necessary guarantees of fidelity and affection.

Male jealousy can also have different reasons:

purely possessive type, when the spouse treats the chosen one as a thing and demands from her complete submission, admiration, utmost fidelity and accountability;
depending on character traits - suspicious people, with many complexes, lack of self-confidence and their sexual capabilities, etc., are more susceptible to jealousy;
response option - in this case, one’s own betrayal makes one doubt the partner’s honesty, projecting one’s own misdeeds onto him.

By the way, harmful addictions can aggravate manifestations of jealousy - against the background of alcohol or drugs, any ideas and suspicions grow to enormous proportions, often causing scandals and tragedies out of the blue. The reasons for male jealousy also include fear of loneliness or provocation from a woman. The experience of past relationships will be no less important - if they had to experience betrayal, it will be more difficult for the new chosen one to prove her love and fidelity.

The difference between jealousy and possessiveness

Jealousy brings a feeling of discomfort from the fact that the attention a person is entitled to from a partner is given (imaginary or real) to someone else. A sense of ownership is the desire to possess a companion as a thing, ignoring his personal happiness and desires for the sake of his own pride.

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The desire to possess a partner often becomes a symptom of jealousy, but sometimes it occurs without it. For example, if doubts about fidelity are caused by depression and self-hatred, the person will distance himself from the partner rather than try to establish control over him.

How does jealousy arise?

Jealousy starts in childhood. It is more often experienced by older children or those who are constantly compared with others. A person may be jealous not only of other people, but also of work or hobbies that take up a lot of time. You can also be jealous of your parents for your brother or sister, your children for your grandmother, your boss for your more successful colleague.

A person is jealous because he is afraid of losing love, and with it, a sense of security and self-worth. If a couple has problems with jealousy, then both need help.

Positive and negative sides of jealousy

The danger of jealousy is that this feeling contributes to a loss of trust between partners. Suspicions and the resulting interrogations, the need to constantly check a loved one, attempts to invade his personal space lead to quarrels and scandals. When in a relationship, people expect understanding, support, and respect. Jealousy takes that away from the couple.

The feeling is destructive for the jealous person himself. It makes you live in suspicion and develops an inferiority complex. The fear of being used, thrown out and humiliated reduces a person’s quality of life, and manifestations of jealousy in the form of aggression and controlling behavior aggravate the situation.

The positive aspects of this emotion appear if it is given in small doses. Light, playful jealousy adds zest to flirting and makes your partner feel special. Emotion plays the role of a regulator of self-esteem, because it motivates a person to new achievements, stimulates him to become better and develop his strengths.

The Bible presents jealousy as a positive thing that encourages people to protect what is theirs. Art and literature view it in a negative sense, presenting it as a deeply destructive feeling that “sucks all the good out of love.”

But modern psychologists believe that this emotion in healthy doses strengthens relationships and is dangerous only in an unreasonable, pathological form.

What should a woman do?

Be patient.
Constantly talk about love and the merits of a loved one.
Try not to arouse suspicion (discreet clothing, minimum communication with other men).
Instill importance and desirability in your loved one.
If there is no improvement, organize a visit to a family psychologist or psychotherapist.

If a girl is modest and devoted to her family, then there is a high probability that the reason is in the man: childhood trauma or low self-esteem; only a good specialist can help understand the situation.

Unfortunately, men often do not realize that suspicion greatly hurts their girlfriends, and even wonderful relationships deteriorate, love fades, and patience runs out. Girls are also not made of iron, there comes a period when the last drop falls into the glass of patience, the desire to make excuses and improve relationships disappears.

Jealousy in relationships, the psychology of the issue is quite extensive, there are various causes and similar consequences. Such feelings are a dangerous force and building love on them, like using an atomic bomb for peace, can only be useful in small doses. It is better to focus on trust and openness, this is more correct.

Why do people get jealous

Jealousy is traditionally considered a sign of love, but psychological studies show that it is based on the fear of losing “your person” or losing to a rival. It can be experienced by those who are fundamentally incapable of love - narcissists and sociopaths.

Three main reasons for jealousy:

the desire to possess a person and the fear of losing him;
fear of being deceived and used;
lack of trust in a partner.

Fear of losing a loved one does not have to be rational to provoke jealousy. This feeling often takes the form of manic obsession, when a person looks for far-fetched evidence of deception and betrayal in every action of a faithful partner.

If we talk about the reasons in more detail, jealousy causes:

A sense of possessiveness. For a person who is accustomed to consider anyone who is nearby “his own,” jealousy extends not only to his beloved. The owner gets annoyed if a friend goes to the cinema with someone else, if mom pays more attention to his brother. Any encroachment on the attention of a loved one becomes a tragedy for the jealous person.
Diffidence. Girls face this reason more often. It seems to them that everything around is better and more beautiful than them. The neighbor has longer hair and is blonde. Masha from the house opposite has a good job. The guy's girlfriend has big breasts and slender legs. Compared to such successful and beautiful women, the jealous woman considers herself unworthy of her beloved. In the case of men, a self-sufficient and beautiful spouse becomes the reason for soul-searching, which leads to a disappointing and derogatory conclusion.
Negative experience. If there was infidelity on the part of a partner in a previous marriage, the person projects negativity onto the current relationship. It seems to him that if it happened once, it will happen again. It's hard to get rid of the idea that all people are the same.
Gossip. Often women begin to suspect their loved one of cheating on the basis of other people's speculations. Facts are conveyed in a distorted form, when in fact there is nothing to worry about.
Fear of loneliness. If at least one of the partners has experienced loneliness or has a developed imagination coupled with a phobia, then this is a good reason for jealousy. The fear of being alone pushes people to take crazy actions that destroy the family. Such people fill the void with relationships and if they see a reason for suspicion (and they will definitely see it), they are very worried, which results in insane jealousy.
Own infidelity. Sometimes it happens that the jealous person himself thinks about cheating. And then thoughts come that your partner is thinking about the same thing. There is a projection of one’s behavior patterns onto another. If one can change, then it is not alien to the other.
Provocation. A person has a constant desire to remain the best for his other half. And in order to prove to a loved one that he is popular with the opposite sex, flirting and increased attention to other people take place. The partner will misunderstand such manifestations. He will suspect his other half of infidelity and doubt her love.

Everyone has reasons to be jealous. Some have only one, others have several at once.

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To understand that jealousy has grown from a rational feeling into pathology, it is necessary to discern the signs of a jealous person.

Negative consequences of jealousy

As noted above, healthy jealousy can have some benefits by refreshing the relationship, motivating partners to develop themselves, and reminding them of how important they are to each other. But as soon as jealousy becomes excessive, it can poison even the most sincere and noble feelings.

Jealousy strains relationships, destroys trust, and causes accumulating irritation. Each of the partners lives in constant tension, waiting for the next scandal, which is why people in love are increasingly moving away from each other, and their feelings are gradually fading away, causing additional pain.

In addition, jealousy causes frequent quarrels that a child can see. As a child, it is difficult for him to understand the reason for them, so he may take it personally, thinking that his parents are fighting because they no longer love him. This causes immeasurable damage to the child's psyche. A child who witnesses such scenes will most likely grow up to be a jealous person, unable to trust even his loved ones.

The unconscious desire of people to “revenge an insult” should also not be underestimated. It manifests itself most strongly in children who do something “to spite adults” after they have been wrongfully accused of something. Adults have similar aspirations. And even if the other half has not had such thoughts before, then after erroneous suspicions of infidelity, she may take such a step to spite the jealous person.

Thus, jealousy, which turns into real suspicions and reproaches, always has a destructive effect on relationships. In most cases, it makes both partners unhappy and alienates them from each other. And each scene of jealousy becomes a serious test for both and a blow to the nervous system, provoking the development of psychosomatic diseases and mental disorders.

Signs

You can understand that a person is jealous by external and behavioral manifestations:

sharply increased interest in personal affairs, hobbies, work, and friends of the partner;
attempts to hint or bring a guy or girl into a conversation about relationships, flirting, cheating;
changes in temperament - hot temper and nervousness or depression and apathy for no apparent reason;
constant monitoring of the location and activities of the satellite;
researching the personal belongings of a guy or girl, viewing personal SMS, mail, instant messenger accounts, social networks;
attempts to control, check and interrogate a partner;
aggression, reproaches, indignation when the lover contacts people of the opposite sex;
uncharacteristic preoccupation with appearance and behavior.

Signs of jealousy progress over time if a person fails to get rid of emotional tension and stress. Having noticed them, it is worth bringing your partner to a frank conversation.

Examples of manifestation

Jealousy can manifest itself in many ways. And the more irrational this feeling is, the more inadequate the manifestations can be. Most often, jealous people demonstrate such behavioral characteristics as:

regularly checking your partner’s personal belongings, messages and calls on his phone;
the desire to constantly monitor the location of a partner;
excessive suspicion if the partner does not answer a call or message on a social network for a long time;
negative reaction to any communication of the “half” with representatives of the opposite sex;
caustic and derogatory comments addressed to potential rivals;
the requirement to demonstrate love and fidelity;
using blackmail and other manipulations to keep a partner.

It is worth noting that jealousy begins to manifest itself clearly only when it acquires a pathological character. Most people know how to control and restrain rational jealousy.

Kinds

Jealousy comes in different forms. It occurs not only to a romantic rival, but also to children, brothers and sisters, and friends. The desire to “own” a partner sometimes reaches the point of absurdity and extends not only to people, but also to hobbies, work, and hobbies.

The type of jealousy depends on the character of the person, his gender and age, social status, temperament, and upbringing.

Possessive

Most often, jealousy manifests itself in the form of possessiveness. A jealous person believes that his partner belongs to him as a thing. The fear of losing him is not associated with love, but with the risk of appearing weak, humiliated, and unworthy. Possessive jealousy is characteristic of people with the following character traits:

lust for power;
excessive love of order, desire to keep everything in its place;
stubbornness;
inability to forgive mistakes;
cold;
disrespect for the partner as an individual;
indifferent attitude towards other people's interests;
fear of change, conservatism.

Men are more prone to this type of emotion than women. This is due to upbringing and social stereotypes that the husband is the master of his wife. The main manifestations of such emotions are the desire to control everything, outbursts of aggression, showdowns, interrogations and demands for constant reports on the time spent, attempts at surveillance.

Jealousy from “infringement”

People with anxiety, low self-esteem, complexes, and a tendency to exaggerate are prone to jealousy from infringement. This emotion is based on the fear of being worse than a rival in the eyes of a loved one. Unlike the owner, the “disadvantaged” jealous person directs negative emotions towards himself. He is not prone to hysterics and aggressive behavior; instead, the jealous person withdraws and withdraws.

Experiencing wounded jealousy, a person begins to see evidence of betrayal in the smallest changes of a partner, and of a rival in everyone he meets. At the same time, he rationalizes the behavior of his loved one, believing that he “deserves” to be betrayed.

Tyrannical

It occurs in people with despotic tendencies, developed pride, excessively high standards, and a tendency to shift blame to others. They make exorbitant demands on their significant other, and perceive non-compliance with them as betrayal and personal hostility. When the cold and cruel behavior of a jealous person pushes away the victim, he writes it off as treason.

The fear of separation in a jealous tyrant is rarely caused by objective factors. These people's mistrust of their partner is unfounded and persists under any circumstances. The tyrannical type of jealousy has common features with the possessive one.

Grafted

The reasons for unreasonable jealousy may lie in a person’s imposed beliefs. If from childhood he was taught that no one can be trusted, then he involuntarily accepts this as a fact. For suspicion to arise, it is enough to accept as true the statement that “all men are womanizers” or “all girls cheat.” A jealous person projects them onto their current partner and involuntarily looks for reasons to suspect him of cheating.

Converted

This type of jealousy is caused by a person's own insecurities and infidelity. Possessing these qualities, he involuntarily believes that they apply to others. A jealous person is capable of treason, betrayal and vile actions, and therefore believes that they are acceptable for a partner. Against this background, groundless suspicions and a desire to control the other half appear.

Jealousy inverted is selfishness, which has nothing to do with love. Often a jealous person himself is ready to cheat on his spouse, but cannot bear the thought of betrayal by his partner.

Men's and women's

Women are jealous more often, but men are more jealous. Female jealousy is more common than male jealousy, but manifestations of this emotion on the part of a girl rarely lead to something worse than a breakup. Guys are jealous deeply and deeply, and therefore more often commit rash acts and crimes under the influence of this emotion.

Causes

Jealousy arises due to various factors, namely:

Mistrust. It can be caused by the personality traits of the jealous person, past traumas and unpleasant experiences, previous betrayal, or beliefs about the vicious nature of men or women. Mistrust sometimes arises out of nowhere, but it can be caused by objective factors - the partner’s cooling off, his strange behavior, quarrels.
Diffidence. When a person compares himself with potential competitors and realizes that he is losing to them, he begins to subconsciously fear that his partner will find a more worthy companion.
Lack of attention. When a jealous spouse devotes time to work, hobbies, children, friends, he feels abandoned and unnecessary. Because of this, suspicions arise of the partner’s infidelity and dishonesty.
Interaction of persons of the opposite sex with a companion. A jealous person mistakes a partner's harmless friendly or work conversations for attempts to find a replacement for him.
Rare communication. When partners temporarily move away from each other, a jealous person has the feeling that the reason is the appearance of a lover (mistress), and not objective factors (work, children, urgent matters).
Psychological dependence on relationships. Jealous people are deeply attached to their partner and believe that they will not be able to find a replacement for him in the event of separation. They demand proof of love and loyalty, which results in controlling behavior.
Fear of losing respect. Betrayal is scary for a person because he understands that he was taken advantage of and thrown away. This makes the jealous person feel like “second class” and lowers self-esteem. Therefore, unreasonable jealousy also arises in loveless marriages.
Problems in your sex life. The partner's coldness, dissatisfaction in bed, loss of interest make one think about an affair between a guy or a girl.

Jealousy without significant evidence or provocation arises among insecure people with bad life experiences and the belief that cheating is a normal phenomenon.

Inferiority complex

Excessive suspicion of a partner’s actions is a consequence of an inferiority complex.

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Feelings of inferiority, doubts in one’s abilities, and belief in the superiority of others lead to jealousy for the following reasons:

a person believes that his partner will consider his competitor a more worthy match;
the jealous person believes that he will not be able to find a new companion if he misses the current one;
there is a fear of losing a guy or girl who was a source of confidence;
every person of the appropriate gender is perceived as a competitor due to the person's low self-esteem and the belief that he is inferior to the majority;
the jealous person thinks that his partner shares negative thoughts about him, so he wants to leave;
a person considers himself insignificant, underestimating the affection of his wife or husband.

The danger of an inferiority complex is that it is difficult to identify. Jealous people, especially men, will be offended by attempts to point out the cause of their negative emotions, deny, or try to compensate for insecurity with aggressive or overly cheeky behavior.

Lack of self confidence

A confident person does not feel jealousy without a compelling reason and clear evidence of betrayal. The destructive roots of this emotion lie in the belief that the partner will try to leave if given the opportunity. The main reason for this is lack of self-confidence.

Jealousy due to lack of self-confidence takes many forms. People exposed to it become depressed, uncommunicative, and move away from their partner, wanting to dull the pain, but not daring to express it. However, like the inferiority complex itself, jealousy on its basis activates the protective mechanisms of the psyche, resulting in aggression or the desire to “overcompensate” for uncertainty through total control of the partner.

Low self-esteem

Considering himself an insignificant, insignificant person who can be easily replaced, the jealous person believes that his partner shares the same views. Love seems false to him, and betrayal seems self-evident.

A person with low self-esteem sometimes feels that he deserves such an attitude, so he rarely takes his anger out on his significant other, preferring to suffer in silence.

Physical disabilities

It is difficult for a person with non-standard external characteristics to find a partner, because in a relationship he becomes more attached and is afraid of losing a partner. He may suspect his companion of impure motives and a desire to take advantage of him, since he considers sincere love and sexual attraction to himself impossible.

Own infidelity

Those who are dishonest themselves are prone to jealousy. Betrayal, betrayal, and dishonesty with loved ones are common things for them, so they believe that people in general are prone to such behavior. Often such individuals use jealousy as a proactive defense mechanism, blaming their partner so that he himself does not suspect them of infidelity. Since their fear of losing a partner is driven by a reluctance to take a blow to their pride and self-esteem, and not by love, they are often the first to cheat on a girl or guy.

Age crisis

Outbursts of jealousy are a sign of a midlife crisis.

They are provoked by changes in the life and psyche of a person that accompany this condition. These include:

doubt about the rightness of marriage;
the desire to accept the role of a “victim” in relation to the “tyrant” in the form of a spouse, self-pity;
deterioration of health and reproductive function, which reduces the quality of sexual experience;
outbursts of irritability, infantile behavior, sudden mood swings;
nostalgia for youth, including lost “innocent” love;
increased attention to one’s appearance and its shortcomings;
tendency to psychological disorders - depression, anxiety, hypochondria, neuroses.

Age crises are accompanied by a desire to change life and a feeling that it has turned out wrong. This leads to unreasonable outbursts of aggression and jealousy towards the partner, and the desire to blame him for failures. Those who were in long-term relationships before the crisis are prone to this behavior.

Negative experience

Jealousy can be caused by negative experiences in past relationships. Having experienced treason or betrayal, a person cannot fully trust people throughout his life, even without reason to suspect them of dishonesty.

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Initially non-jealous people who for a long time did not notice or ignored the signs of their ex’s betrayal are prone to character changes due to negative experiences. Having suffered once, they try to prevent a repetition of the traumatic experience by placing increased demands on the behavior of their other half.

Unstable relationships

Instability and difficulties in current relationships serve as a reason for jealousy. This feeling is provoked by the following situations:

long separation;
lack of communication due to work, everyday life and other circumstances;
sexual dissatisfaction;
conflicts in areas where partners previously agreed;
domestic quarrels;
financial difficulties.

These factors lead to a cooling of the relationship between lovers, which is potentially perceived as a sign of betrayal. Difficulties in relationships provoke doubts in the companion, the illusion of his ideality is lost. Such jealousy is common at the beginning of a relationship, when the “candy-bouquet” period ends and the couple’s participants objectively evaluate each other’s personalities for the first time.

Difficult childhood

Jealousy is caused by childhood trauma. It appears when a child feels unloved, unimportant, and a stranger in his home. Not receiving proper love from his parents, he feels rejected and isolated. This gives rise to hatred, self-pity, and resentment towards the world. The first unsuccessful experience in relationships with older family members is projected onto romantic partners.

A person is afraid to again find himself in the position of a lonely and unwanted child, so he “safeguards himself” in advance with the help of jealousy. He does not need evidence of the betrayal of his other half, since he already considers the position of a rejected, deceived and love-deprived person to be the norm of life.

The origins of pathological jealousy often lie in childhood conflicts between brothers and sisters in large families.

Lack of attention from parents, pressure to share, ignoring the achievements of an unloved child force him to grow into an adult with complexes, suspicion and uncertainty that someone can love him.

Jealousy in alcoholism

Exacerbation of jealousy is typical for people suffering from alcoholism. Drunkenness leads to a decline in the eyes of a partner and a progressive deterioration of relationships with him. The reasons for this are the rudeness, indifference, aggressiveness of the jealous person, his loss of moral character and health. But he, not wanting to admit it, attributes his companion’s coldness to betrayal.

Negative manifestations of jealousy in alcoholism are directed exclusively at the partner, and not at perceived rivals. They are accompanied by paranoid behavior, outbursts of aggression, including physical violence, and finding fictitious “evidence” of betrayal in any word or deed of a partner. Jealousy worsens when drunk.

Neurotic disorders

Jealousy is a classic symptom of nervousness. Anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and feelings of inferiority make a person consider himself inferior to others. He projects these feelings onto his partner, from whom he expects betrayal in advance. With neurotic disorders, a person often realizes that suspicions are unfounded, which further aggravates his self-hatred.

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Jealousy during nervousness often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The symptoms of this condition, combined with pressure and mistrust, scare away and alienate the partner.

Personality disorders

Pathological jealousy resembles a mental illness and is accompanied by its typical symptoms - denial of obvious facts, outbursts of aggression or sadness, and the development of complexes. But this is not a separate diagnosis, but a manifestation of many psychological diseases and personality disorders, including:

narcissism;
bipolar disorder;
schizophrenia;
depression;
borderline personality disorder;
paranoia;
substance addiction.

The nature and degree of manifestation of jealousy depends on the type of disorder.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

In a healthy relationship, both partners understand that each of them has made a choice in favor of the other, and this choice does not need to be proven - it is there by default. Partners may think other people are beautiful, but they are just people, not potential sex objects. In a healthy relationship, partners do not limit each other’s communication: if a wife goes on a business trip with a male colleague, the husband does not have the feeling that something is wrong. The husband perceives it this way: the wife is going to work, this is normal.

In a healthy relationship, there can also be jealousy: if the husband treats another woman to a cocktail at a party and the wife sees it, it’s normal if she doesn’t like it. But this does not turn into a scandal and threats - the partners simply discuss the situation and come to a truce.

In an unhealthy relationship, jealousy will arise from anything and will not allow you to live in peace. Here are a few signs that indicate a couple has a jealousy problem:

one of the partners asks about previous relationships;
arranges checks, for example, suddenly comes to a meeting with friends, although no one invited him;
does not allow communication with other people;
checks phone and social networks;
condemns a new hairstyle or clothes, ridicules hobbies, and is suspicious of a partner’s trips to the gym.

Facts about jealousy

The phenomenon of jealousy has been well studied by family psychologists and psychiatrists. Interesting facts about him:

7-10% of men on the planet are pathologically jealous.
3-5% of people on Earth are not capable of jealousy.
Jealousy is bad for your health. It provokes stress and anxiety, causing the heart rate to increase, blood pressure to rise, and the load on the cardiovascular system to increase.
The degree of jealousy depends on hormonal levels. In women, it increases during pregnancy, because at this time she needs the protection and support of a man.
Jealousy is the second most common reason for the breakdown of relationships (the first is the financial situation of partners, quarrels about budget distribution). The reason for the breakup can be either a jealous person who does not want to put up with the “infidelity” of his other half, or a victim whom he tortures with pressure.
Jealous behavior is inherent in a person at the level of instincts. It is inherent in animals and has the same roots as rivalry.
Age affects the likelihood of encountering a jealous person. People over 30 experience this emotion half as often as young people.
Every fifth crime in the world is committed due to jealousy. The court does not consider it a mitigating circumstance.

Jealousy is a ubiquitous emotion that controls people's behavior. In moderate manifestations, it stimulates self-improvement, in extreme manifestations it destroys relationships and provokes crimes.

Ways to deal with jealousy

The first step in dealing with a destructive emotion is to recognize its nature. Jealousy is a normal feeling that everyone experiences from time to time. She does not talk about her partner’s betrayal, making her suspect him for far-fetched reasons.

The main ways to get rid of jealousy:

Control behavior. It is worth giving up interrogations, tracking your spouse and looking for evidence of betrayal - this will increase negative feelings.
Look at things objectively. Write down events as if they happened to strangers. By reading the text, find out whether the partner really behaved unusually.
Play in the mirror. The way to eliminate jealousy for the “victim” is to parody the jealous person’s complaints about “suspicious” behavior. This will help to understand their absurdity.
Get creative. Create and throw out negative emotions by inventing stories or drawing pictures.
Set aside “time for jealousy.” Spend 20-30 minutes a day writing down and analyzing thoughts about your partner’s fidelity and behavior. Don't think about suspicions during the day.

When trying to overcome jealousy, it is important not to go to the other extreme and begin to ignore the suspicious behavior of your companion. There are often cases in which they actually try to deceive the jealous person.

In this article we described in detail how to deal with jealousy →

How to get rid of or tame this destructive feeling

You need to get rid of this feeling as soon as you notice the prerequisites for unhealthy jealousy.

It's best to start with your own changes:

develop and be an interesting person;
take care of yourself to increase your self-esteem;
get rid of complexes;
learn to love and appreciate yourself.

To save the couple and not harm the relationship with your jealousy, follow these recommendations:

talk more with your partner , ask his opinion, know how to listen and hear, together look for ways out of problematic situations and build your own model of an ideal relationship;
don’t be afraid to ask questions , be more interested in the work, hobbies and problems of your chosen one;
do not try to remake a person to fit your framework - look for common ground for a harmonious relationship in which both partners will be comfortable;
do not forget about the right of everyone in a couple to their own personal space and time;
never resort to lies , instilling confidence in yourself and trusting your partner;
pay more attention to your common interests , look for things that will tie you to each other even more tightly;
forget about criticism , more gratitude and admiration in words - and then your chosen one will always want to quickly return to the house where he is loved and appreciated.

In general, explain to yourself that it was you who was chosen by your partner and it is to you that he returns every day. Think about how you were able to attract him and do even more to keep him for life. At the same time, do everything together, building your relationship on love, mutual understanding, respect, fidelity and mandatory trust.