What can gestures tell us? 75 Signs of Body Language

Each person during a conversation uses nonverbal signals with which he subconsciously complements or refute what was said. Such signals are involuntary, but with proper training you can learn to control them and recognize the facial expressions of other people.

The psychology of human gestures and facial expressions studies the features of using gestures, various combinations, and the possibility of preventing an emotional reaction. By understanding the main types of reactions and learning to distinguish them, a person will be able to determine whether his interlocutor is telling the truth, his real emotions.

The meaning of gestures

In the human psyche, the meaning of non-verbal signals - gestures and facial expressions - lies in the sphere of the unconscious. People may not pay attention to their own and others' attempts to convey information, but they subconsciously recognize them. To read messages more accurately, it is necessary to study their meaning in accordance with the cultural environment to which the interlocutors belong.

Despite the common meaning of most facial reactions, in some cultures common gestures may have the opposite meaning. Thus, nodding your head usually means agreement, but in some cultures it means denial.

Body language varies depending on the speaker's gender, age, social status and other personal characteristics. Communication using gestures is limited: movements can only convey basic emotions, but it is impossible to show the subtleties of attitude. Therefore, body language is used to complement and enhance the emotional coloring of speech. The conscious use of gestures and control of facial expressions is the result of a volitional effort, aimed mainly at the desire to hide a lie.

Body language and sign language should not be confused. Unlike unconscious muscle reactions, sign language is a full-fledged linguistic unit used for normal communication. The use of sign language allows people with hearing and speech impairments to communicate and socialize successfully.

Examples of nonverbal communication

• If a girl, showing off her wrist, communicates with a member of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if he also paints his lips with bright lipstick, then he has truly become the object of her passion.

Read more: How to know that a girl likes you - 14 signs

• There is a common method of establishing contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor crossed his arms, you can repeat this body movement. This manipulation promotes non-verbal unity. There is a whole set of such small tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's hands and feet.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the truth, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It is difficult to believe a person with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of his partners for his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture you can hide some information from your opponents. Despite the casualness and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

Scientific research

Representatives of Ancient Rome already possessed the study of body language and the desire to characterize gestures. The science formed on the basis of the observations of researchers was called kenesics. The greatest contribution to its development was made by:

1. J. Balwer. He created a fundamental work devoted to gestures, in particular, hand movements.
2. I. F. Lavater. He studied physiognomy and conducted a comparative analysis of emotions and gestures.
3. G. K. Lichtenberg. He published several works in which he examined Lavater’s ideas in detail, calling them superficial and far from reality.
4. C. Bell. He studied the nervous system, studied the correspondence of facial features to the emotions experienced. He deduced a pattern between emotional reaction and muscular activity.
5. C. Darwin. Studied the correspondence of facial expression to emotional reaction.
6. F. Bacon. I came to the conclusion that there is a special body language that is understood by all peoples of the world.
7. F. Lowen. In his book on the psychology of the body, he outlined the basics of psychosomatic problems

Psychologists and sociologists believe that body language can become a universal means of communication between people of different social groups.

Personal space, communication areas

What kind of mood does a person have - types in psychology

To feel comfortable and free to use gestures, you need personal space. All people react differently to invasion of personal space. Anxious people tend to maintain a greater distance in communication. Confident individuals are less concerned about protecting their personal space. Aggressive people constantly try to expand their personal zone: their gestures are sweeping, and their poses are such as to take up as much space as possible.

Psychologists have calculated optimal zones for different types of interpersonal communication:

• An intimate area that involves physical contact. Its distance is from 15 to 45 cm. Only the closest people are at this distance.
• The personal zone is 75-120 cm. It is used in everyday communication with friends.
• Social zone – from 120 to 360 cm. At this level, official business communication is carried out.
• The public area is needed for lectures. Its level is 3.5-7.5 m.

Main body segments

When assessing the meaning of posture and movements, you need to pay attention to the segment of the body that gives signals. Each department is responsible for a specific issue:

• eyes - an expression of fear associated with personal relationships;
• mouth - difficulties in communication, fear of rejection;
• neck - negative emotions, anger, aggression;
• chest - suppression of emotional reactions, restraint, self-control;
• diaphragm - social anxiety, volitional efforts, feeling of satisfaction;
• stomach area - feeling of danger, external threat;
• pelvis and groin area - true feelings, intimate interest.

When assessing the reaction of individual body segments, it is always necessary to compare the movements as a whole. Warning should be caused by desynchronization of movements of different departments: a person cannot control his body and it betrays his deception.

Hidden consent

Very often, people internally agree with what you say, but in conversation they continue to defend their point of view. This can happen for various reasons: perhaps they are trying to negotiate more favorable terms when negotiating a contract, although they agree to less. The ability to read this internal agreement is very important.

The absence of the interlocutor’s gestures of disagreement and distrust, which are described above, speaks precisely of this. The person will argue with you, but at the level of gestures he does not show disagreement, behaving relaxed and free. This is a clear sign of willingness to accept your terms. If, at the moment of denying your words, he makes affirmative nods of his head, as if saying “Yes, yes, I understand everything, but...”, insist on your point, he really understands everything and has already accepted your conditions.

Gestures of closedness, isolation

For a full psychological assessment of a person based on body movements and gestures, it is necessary to distinguish between shyness and purposeful secrecy. He speaks about reluctance to communicate, fear and hostility:

1. Crossing your arms over your chest. While sitting, a person can also cross their legs with their knee forward. This indicates a desire to fence off with armor, to be as far as possible from the interlocutor, distrust and hostility.
2. Tightness, hands on knees. A defensive posture, the desire to quickly end the conversation.
3. Stomping, tapping fingers, throwing objects from hand to hand. The desire to divert attention from oneself, to avoid a negative reaction.

For many people, secretive postures are comfortable, and they unconsciously adopt them when talking with trusted people. But during business communication they should be avoided so as not to cause misunderstanding.

Lack of interest

A disinterested person, on the contrary, will look in different directions, make numerous movements, and look at the phone. The fewer movements your interlocutor makes when talking to you, the more interested he is in you.

A person also demonstrates his rejection of the situation by the direction of his gaze. If he looks at the door, he is bored or your company is not particularly pleasant for him. The desire to leave is also indicated by the direction of the body and legs towards the exit.

It is important to be able to distinguish the lack of interest in you from the thoughtfulness of your interlocutor. He may be immersed in his problems and show no signs of interest. The thoughtfulness of a person can be determined by his hands and gaze.

If the interlocutor’s limbs constantly live somewhere near the head, he scratches the back of his head, rubs his temples, rests his forehead on his hand, and his gaze is not focused, you can be sure that an active thought process is going on in his head and at the moment his own thoughts are more relevant to him. thoughts than communication. Therefore, you should not draw conclusions about the rudeness of your interlocutor if you receive a sharp response to your appeal. It is better to leave a person in such a state alone.

Gestures to help recognize lies

The main thing that any student of body language strives for is the ability to detect lies in the speech of the interlocutor. They say about dishonesty:

1. Frequently touching the face, scratching the forehead and nose, covering the mouth with the hand. A person literally tries to stop himself from telling a lie, to cover his face, avoiding a direct condemning gaze.
2. Stroking, scratching the neck. Talks about lies caused by fear or misunderstanding. Such gestures are often demonstrated by subordinates when talking with their boss.
3. Touching the earlobe. During communication, touching the ears means that the person does not believe in the information he heard, but tries not to show it.
4. Quick, frequent smiles, licking lips. It means excitement, a desire to hide deception.

The discrepancy between gestures and spoken words indicates a lie, but individual characteristics must be taken into account. Perhaps the dissonance is caused by anatomical features and is a consequence of the disease. Also characteristic is the discrepancy between movement and words among foreigners who do not know the language well and try to supplement words with gestures.

Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60–80% of veiled information.

Each of us, when communicating with an opponent who competently sets out the essence of the matter and argues with facts, often feels some kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and veracity of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to complain about.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. A certain inconsistency appears and serious concerns arise that he is not acting in your interests at all.

The ability to correctly read the secret language of gestures will help you avoid unpleasant situations. For example, HR specialists cannot do without knowledge about the hidden intentions of potential employees.

It is difficult for a person to hold back emotions for a long time; they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them by changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Gestures warning of aggression

It is important to recognize gestures of aggression and threats in a timely manner - this makes it possible to prevent a conflict in time and get away from the direct line of attack of the interlocutor. An aggressive attitude manifests itself:

1. Clenching your fists. The interlocutor speaks in a calm tone, his posture is relaxed, but his hands are constantly clenched into fists - a clear signal of pent-up anger.
2. Fists resting on the surface of the table, hips or pressed to the waist - a direct threat, readiness to attack.
3. Hands hidden behind back. The person is literally trying to control himself and not show aggression.
4. Pursed lips, tightly clenched jaws. They express contempt and dissatisfaction with the interlocutor.
5. Scratching the back of the neck and the back of the head. Anticipation of attack, demonstration of readiness for defense.

If during a conversation a person twitches his upper lip, flares his nostrils, squints his eyes, he is ready for open confrontation, demonstrates superiority over his opponent, and threatens.

Respect

For a man, there is the easiest and most reliable way to find out how the interlocutor treats him - a handshake. A person who respects you will be the first to extend his hand to greet you. If he does this without much desire or with a delay, he rather treats you somewhat arrogantly. The duration of the handshake, as well as the angle between the hands, also matters: people who respect each other do not try to quickly release their hand, and also keep their hands straight.

The look of a person who respects you is open, the smile is sincere. He often glances in your direction, and if he is looking for your approval, he will look away when your views intersect.

Advice from psychologists

An experienced psychologist is able to read the gestures and facial expressions of even a very secretive person and assess his emotional state regardless of verbal information. For people unfamiliar with the subtleties of nonverbal cues, it can be difficult at first to monitor two channels of information simultaneously. You can start with the following techniques:

• note the movements that a person reproduces most often and compare them with spoken words;
• ask your interlocutor leading and clarifying questions, ask the same information several times;
• do not look directly at the interlocutor, look away so as not to arouse suspicion;
• having caught a person in a lie, do not immediately express complaints, do not interrupt the story - perhaps the first conclusions will turn out to be incorrect;
• develop observation skills, learn to compare information.

Special books from which you can glean theoretical information and constant practice will help you learn to understand body language. To learn to read different people, you should constantly train your ability to study emotional reactions, movements, and other nonverbal signals. It is important to compare signals and identify a common series of symbolic gestures. This will help you recognize body signals without thinking in the future.

Sexual sympathy

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A sincere smile is the best indicator of sympathy. However, you need to learn to read it. It should be wide, the corners of the mouth should be raised, and the upper eyelids should be slightly lowered. This is a real, frank smile, which, like nothing else, indicates your likeability to a person. Mirroring the interlocutor's posture is also a universal sign of sympathy.

Confident men express their sympathy for a girl by lingering on her gaze. Those who are less confident, on the contrary, will sometimes glance at the object of their sighs, quickly changing the direction of their gaze. Also, a man can hook the belt in the abdominal area with his thumb, point his feet towards the woman and constantly adjust his clothes in her presence.

Signs of female sympathy are well known: ladies begin to unconsciously touch their hair and adjust their clothes. Attraction is also indicated by a slightly open mouth, enlarged pupils, and demonstration of sexual parts of the body.

How to recognize gestures?

To get a complete picture of the correspondence of gestures and facial expressions to a person’s words, you need to evaluate the meaning of all movements:

1. Gait. By the way the interlocutor enters the room, you can assess the degree of confidence and self-esteem: a long step, a confident gait - purposefulness and ambition, a shuffling gait - lack of will and aspirations, a slow, imposing gait - narcissism and demonstrativeness.
2. Hand position while moving and sitting. Elbows pressed to the body indicate isolation, unsociability; broad gestures, waving your arms when talking - openness, sociability. Touching your interlocutor is a desire to enter the zone of closest trust, a desire to subjugate.
3. Direction of view. The position of the eyes shows how interested the interlocutor is in the conversation and the desire to defend his point of view. A downward gaze means the person is telling the truth; an upward gaze means he makes it up as he goes along.
4. Posture. A straightened neck and a raised chin indicate a person’s general confidence; a bowed head is a sign of humility and timidity.
5. Body direction. A body leaning forward means interest in the conversation, sympathy for the interlocutor, a desire to reduce the emotional distance, and gain trust.

If a person often changes position during a conversation, his opinion is unstable. He is ready to accept someone else's point of view and submit to his interlocutor.

Voice and body language when talking to you

• A woman's body language is expressed not only through gestures and behavior, but also through her voice and words. Therefore, if a girl utters enthusiastic words and phrases like these: “really?”, “really?”, “mmm...”, “how interesting.” This shows that the lady wants you to know that she is interested in what you have to say;
• Her speech matches your speaking speed and tone. This means that she speaks at the same speed as you and with the same inclinations and nuances. She adapts her behavior to yours, thus trying to please you even more;
• She repeats your words. For example, a few minutes after you say something, she says the same words and phrases;
• Her tone of voice becomes more enthusiastic. The girl reacts faster to what you say and is not afraid to interrupt you. This shows that she feels comfortable in your presence;
• She uses the words “I” or “my” more often to make you think about her as often as possible and imagine her in your mind.

Male and female gestures

During a conversation, women tend to gesticulate more often if the subject of discussion is pleasant to them. When discussing unpleasant things or talking with an unpleasant interlocutor, women instinctively strive to move away, shrink, and become smaller. They press their hands, bow their heads, turn away. Expressing interest, women try to come closer, their gestures are open, their palms are turned towards the interlocutor.

Men are less likely to express irritation through gestures. It’s easier to assess their mood through their posture: a relaxed posture speaks of trust, openness, and a desire to continue the conversation. Hunching, squeezing your shoulders, putting your hands in front of you is forming a kind of barrier from an unpleasant interlocutor.

Feeling Dangerous

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The person believes that you pose a danger. Not necessarily physical: your words may radically diverge from his position, and he prepares for defense at the verbal level. This condition is evidenced by well-known closed postures: crossed arms or legs. However, this same sign characterizes uncertain people or people who find themselves in an unfamiliar environment.

In such a situation, it is best to change the tone and topic of the conversation. Switch to something else, neutral or pleasant for the interlocutor. When his tension subsides, carefully return to the unfinished conversation. If his position becomes open and his legs and arms no longer cross, you can be sure that his attitude towards you has become more friendly.

Expressing affection using gestures

By studying body language and gestures, a person can easily understand interest in intimate and romantic relationships. The body movements of women who attract the attention of men are actively expressed:

• demonstration of the wrists, turning the inside of the palms up;
• shaking hair, twirling a curl on a finger;
• licking, biting lips;
• touching the thighs, ankles;
• pointing the toes of the shoes towards the man.

A man, showing interest in a relationship with a woman, subconsciously tries to demonstrate his best qualities:

• stretches up, straightens his shoulders;
• constantly adjusts his tie, cuffs and shirt collar;
• runs his hands over his thighs and knees.

In representatives of both sexes, interest in intimate relationships is revealed by a searching gaze. It glides along the figure of the attractive person from top to bottom, lingering at the neckline and hip level.

Interest

Most people try to follow the unspoken rule of communication and show signs of interest in any conversation by asking the other person about various details. Therefore, it is very important to be able to read the real mood of the interlocutor and his attitude towards the conversation based on non-verbal signs.

The listener's interest is revealed by the absence of gestures. Your interlocutor, who is sincerely delighted with your speeches, will be completely focused on you, trying not to create unnecessary noise. In most cases, such a person will stare at you, his whole body frozen. His eyebrows may be slightly raised and his eyes widened.

A person who experiences great interest in what is happening strives with his whole being to get closer to the source of information. Therefore, you can notice the tilt of the body towards the speaker.

Visual body language of men

To understand the visual body language of men and notice interest, it is important to note the direction of their gaze. Anyone who is interested in you looks you up and down. First, the man notices the general attractiveness, then lowers his eyes, lingers on the chest and hips, and after a while looks at them again.

If a certain representative of the stronger sex shows sympathy, this can be seen by the frequency of glances and the enlargement of the pupils.

Smile is different from smile: how not to make a mistake?

One of the most powerful means of seduction is a smile. However, not every smile can be perceived as a gesture of goodwill and goodwill. You can attract a man only with a sincere smile.

You can always feel a forced smile when you are not in a good mood at all. Also, a forced smile can not only bring a man closer, but also push him away. For example, he may think that you are smiling at him only because the rules of decency require it and nothing more.

Important: Do not try to seduce a man with an insincere smile.

Why is it worth watching a girl?

Before concluding that this girl is too clumsy or too provocative, a guy should watch her for a while. Perhaps she is just trying to attract him to her in this way.

Important: Often, when we fall in love, we behave differently than usual. We try to appear better than we really are or, conversely, we want to create an unapproachable image.

Eye contact: short or long gaze

• Looking for a long time (more than 1-2 seconds) towards a stranger is considered indecent. A person may perceive it as a gesture of aggression. The exception is lovers
• A man can watch a woman he likes for a long time and intently, often lingering on his chest, hips, and neck. Sometimes these views can be completely unceremonious

It’s not for nothing that they say that a man loves with his eyes.

• Short glances can also be signs of love, but this is how shy people look. Usually women use short glances as a game. They languidly spy on the man, doing everything so that he catches their gaze. But as soon as the man noticed, the woman slyly averts her eyes to the side
• To establish trust, look at the person and smile at him. If people who like each other are united by a common situation, you can use a long look. For example, you wanted to take one glass at the same time and looked at each other for a long time. This suggests that your attempt to attract attention was seen and understood

Here is an example of gestures of a guy in love

To understand how to recognize facial expressions, gestures and other non-verbal signs in a person in practice, it is enough to look at a clear example. The body language of a man in love will help any woman accurately determine his true feelings and emotions in relation to her. There are several points to pay attention to:

• appearance - a man in love is neatly dressed, clean-shaven, smells pleasant;
• gaze - a close and appraising look into the eyes and lips of a woman;
• hands – involuntary manipulations, for example, brushing away specks of dust or straightening your hair;
• The voice is a timid, insinuating voice, without harshness or changes in intonation.

A man who likes a woman will demonstrate his strength and masculinity in every possible way. In addition, he will be interested in all areas of the life of his object of desire, and show care and responsibility.

Communication between a man and a woman

When communicating with a person of interest, our body strives to demonstrate sympathy in every possible way, even if our consciousness is still constrained by embarrassment or uncertainty about the reciprocity of feelings. Women and men send each other different signals of attraction .

Ways to express male sympathy

The gaze of an interested man covers the object of sympathy from head to toe, assessing the general attractiveness of the girl. A man or guy in love strives for more frequent eye contact.

In the presence of a pretty woman, men instinctively smooth their hair, straighten the details of their suit, and brush away specks of dust from their jacket. The man's body is turned towards the woman, the toes of his shoes are directed towards her, his palms are located in the hips.

Liking is indicated by an open smile, in which the corners of the lips are symmetrically raised upward.

When talking with an object of interest, a man’s voice becomes gentle, soft and velvety. But when addressing others in the presence of a girl, a man can demonstrate “animal” instincts: his voice can resemble a growl, communication becomes harsh and rude. He seems to be trying to protect his “prey” from others.

Ways to express female sympathy

Girls tend to watch the object of their affection secretly, on the sly . They may cast brief sidelong glances at a man, and with accidental direct visual contact, look away and blush. The girl looks the man up and down: firstly, this is how she gains the courage to make eye contact, and secondly, as if she is delaying the most pleasant moment of eye contact.

In the presence of a man of interest, a woman strives to fix her hair, clothes, and makeup. She subconsciously shows him the smooth and delicate skin of her wrists. When meeting in an informal setting, a woman can take positions in which her legs will be clearly visible to the interlocutor. She wiggles the toe of her shoe, stretches her legs, crosses her legs.

The voice of an interested woman changes, becomes lower, and hoarse notes appear. This is one of the signs of sexual attraction to a partner.

The pace of speech slows down, melodic intonations appear: it is as if she is hypnotizing a man with her words. If a girl is not sure of the reciprocity of feelings, her voice, on the contrary, may be uncertain, trembling and confused.

The ability to recognize the signals that others subconsciously send during communication will help you build business and personal communications more effectively. A person's body language can reveal his intentions more accurately than words .

Signs of a man in love: body language

Since the time when life appeared on planet Earth, representatives of the stronger half of humanity have been trying to win the love of their fair half. To earn the favor of these beautiful creatures, men are ready for any feat.

When it comes to love, women tend to show their cards. Men try to hide their feelings, which can lead to doubts about the validity of their feelings. And women are constantly lost trying to decipher their vague words and actions. Some obvious signs and gestures allow you to find out that a man is in love.

Sure signs of falling in love

1. Her happiness is his happiness. A man will do anything to make a girl smile or laugh. Seeing her happy, his heart lights up. After all, loving someone means having an emotional connection with them.

2. Eye contact. Eyes, as you know, cannot lie. If a man is in love, he cannot help but look at the object of his adoration.

3. He's not afraid to be himself. A man in love next to a woman is not tense and remains himself. He is not afraid to do stupid and strange things, so he trusts her.

4. Random surprises. A man will surprise the woman he is in love with. He can give flowers on a random day or leave sweets in a hidden place. This is how he impresses her.

5. He includes her in his plans. A man who loves a woman understands that “I” and “you” are now “we”. When he begins to plan his future, a woman is always present in these plans. He is not afraid of the prospect of living together for many years, he likes the relationship. When a person is really (and not just playing) “on the same wavelength” with you, then he is interested in a long-term relationship.

6. Spontaneous touch. A man is looking for a reason to touch the object of his love. He will randomly reach out at dinner, put his hand on her back and try in every possible way to be closer to the woman.

7. He prefers her company. If a man is not truly interested in a woman, he will not spend much time on her. He most likely spends his free time in the company of his friends, goes to the gym or goes fishing. Men almost never spend most of their free time on relationships that, from their own point of view, have no future.

The girl wants to please: perfect makeup and hairstyle

A woman's appearance has a powerful effect on the stronger sex, and women know this. Therefore, a woman tries to please her beloved man by carefully choosing her hairstyle and makeup.

Important: Girls, do not overdo it with makeup, sometimes the result can be disastrous.

The fact is that a woman’s and a man’s concept of beauty can be very different. Women who are too sleek, expensively dressed and ideal in appearance seem inaccessible and cold to men. Although men really value grooming, naturalness and neatness in women.