At work we not only work, but also live. In fact, we spend a third of our lives with fellow workers. Sometimes this is even more than with relatives and friends. We can accurately predict how one of our colleagues will behave in a given situation. We see in advance how the guy sitting behind the transparent wall of the next office perks up when his work shift ends. We know who called the employee from the friendly department, since she so hastily ran out into the corridor to talk. We regularly meet with one of our colleagues at the cooler, since we are used to drinking tea at about the same time. We are having lunch with someone in the same cafe and have already studied all his gastronomic preferences. And one fine day we realize that we are worried that a colleague has not shown up at the cafe for a week. Or we catch ourselves thinking that we too often run to the cooler or to the machine office in the hope of meeting a colleague we like in the corridor. It becomes obvious that you like your work colleague. What do you like about it - you just fell in love with this man! What to do in such a situation, how to behave with a workmate who suddenly began to mean so much to you? We invite you to discuss this topic and find out what psychologists advise to do in the described situation.
Rules and tips
Most modern girls are accustomed to solving problems on their own. Even in matters of love, many of them take the initiative into their own hands. The following tips will help active ladies learn how to seduce a male colleague.
5 rules to win the heart of your chosen one:
- Be a mystery to him. A man is a hunter by nature, so there is no need to reveal his soul immediately after the first meetings. Let him pursue you.
- You should not tell your close colleague about your feelings, because she may also be partial to the object of your attention. It’s even worse if this news spreads throughout the company and, rest assured, this information will reach his ears before others. But you haven’t even received a hint of a date yet.
- Decided to take the initiative into your own hands and be the first to propose a meeting? Remember, you shouldn’t be too straightforward and act openly, immediately taking him to a movie theater or restaurant. Most men try to avoid excessive female activity. In this case, it is appropriate to invite him to a festival or exhibition that is interesting to both of you.
- If after the event he, in principle, does not mind continuing the evening, offer to drink a cup of coffee at your home, and then act according to the situation.
- Try to behave with restraint, making it clear that, first of all, he attracts you as a person. As if inadvertently, hint about the possibility of striking up a closer relationship with him, but be sure to casually mention that your connection should remain a secret.
I really like one man - a colleague. We have been working in the same company for more than one year. I like everything about it. How he looks, how he dresses, his manners. He is very personable. How can he make a smart joke? Knows how to make little surprises. For example, unexpectedly put a chocolate bar for us at the computers. We don't even ask who did it. We know that other men are simply not capable of this.
And most importantly, the one I like is not married. True, I don’t know anything about the woman I love. Maybe he has it, maybe he doesn't. I've never seen him with a lady. I try, of course, to please him. But so far to no avail. It seems to me that he does not yet single me out as an object for a relationship. He treats him well, is attentive, but like everyone else. And my friend, who saw him a couple of times, for some reason concluded that he was a Casanova. It seemed to her that his eyes somehow darted over the woman’s body. I don't know, I don't think so. How do they run? And how could it be otherwise? And all men look at women. That's why they are men.
How can I please him? It is also very interesting to find out what a man first of all pays attention to when he sees a woman. For some reason, we are all sure that it is on the chest. If this is really the case, then I'm fine with it. And the rest of the body is pretty decent. I won’t praise myself, but I am regularly friends with the fitness club.
By the way, I asked this question to my brother. And he replied that he looks first of all at what stands out the most. This, they say, is the law of nature. If a lady has large breasts, then, naturally, they are the first thing that catches your eye. If the eyes are expressive, then he looks at them. It is impossible to look at everything at once. And still. Perhaps this is not a question for the newspaper. Well, what if, I thought, I’ll get the most necessary advice from you, because I always read the page about men and women. Waiting for a hint!
Marina
If a man looks into your eyes for a long, long time, you can be sure that he has already looked at everything else.
OPINION
Yuri MALYUKOV copywriter
A little bit of everything! You can write strips about this. After all, we are talking about a woman. Can you express all the emotions in a few words?! But in short, I’ll note that first of all I pay attention to the eyes. Agree, it is the eyes that can tell about a woman’s disposition towards me. If further communication takes place, then further assessment of physiological parameters occurs. To be more precise, this is the structure of the face, the shape and color of the eyes, the shape of the lips and nose. Further attention is paid to the shape and size of the chest, waist and hips, height, length and hair color. But when communicating, lips really attract attention, because information appears from there. But that's my opinion. I don’t pretend that it will coincide with the thoughts of the majority of male representatives.
Reading a man by his gestures...
From zalclub.com
If you want to know whether a man is interested in you, do not forget to monitor not only his statements towards you, but also how he behaves.
1. “Maybe” signal
If at a meeting during your speech he begins to fiddle with your tie, collar, touches your neck or touches your hair, and the toe of your foot is turned in your direction, then he is clearly interested in you. Perhaps he is only attracted to what you are talking about.
2. Signal “I’m not lying”
If during a conversation a man does not hide his palms, but, on the contrary, shows them and raises them up, most likely he is speaking sincerely.
3. Signal “I want to be closer”
The distances to which we are willing to allow people to approach us vary depending on the area in which we grew up (city dwellers have shorter distances than villagers). The classic “public” distance is about 3.5 m or more; business from 1.5m to 3.5m; friendly - from 0.75 m to 1.5 m; and closer – intimate. If the interlocutor is trying to get closer to you, it means he wants to be closer not only in the literal sense of the word.
4. Signal “I would like to hug you…”
If a man, while communicating with you, simultaneously spreads his arms (leaning on the staircase railing or the back of a chair), this is a hidden symbol of a hug.
5 Signal “I like you”
His touch can tell a lot. 1) If his palm turns upward when shaking hands, he is ready to obey you. 2) “Glove” - when his two palms clasp one palm, he expresses sincerity and friendliness. 3) If a man touches your hand or elbow, this is a sign of sympathy.
6. Signal “I want to please”
A man begins to preen at the sight of a woman he likes, much like animals do during mating season. He puts himself in order “from head to toe” - suddenly he remembers that he needs to comb his hair, shake dust off his shoulder, straighten up, suck in his stomach, straighten his sleeves, and so on.
7. “I want you” signal
Hands on hips when a man is standing, legs outstretched when he is sitting, and finally, thumbs tucked behind a belt - all these positions serve only to demonstrate to the woman his own attractiveness and draw attention to the genital area.
8. Signal “I don’t need anything!”
I don’t believe it: his index finger touches his nose, the rest covers his mouth - he doesn’t believe you and doesn’t want to be frank.
I want to run away: if, in addition to the “I don’t believe it” signal, he fiddles with his ear or rubs some other parts of his face, then he openly becomes bored with your conversation and thinks about how to quickly end it and disappear.
I’m not interested in you: if he prefers to stay at a “pioneer” distance, leans in the opposite direction in a conversation or speaks slightly away - alas, this person is not particularly interested in you, to say the least.
I feel good without you: a sluggish, weak handshake indicates that he does not want to close the distance.
The following actions can be considered alarming, but not frightening: he puts his hands in his pockets, hides his palms, crosses his legs or arms, hides his legs under a chair. Such behavior can be interpreted in different ways, depending on the situation.
...and in the eyes
Looking up and to the right - imagining something that you have seen before.
Looking up and to the left - he is fantasizing or lying.
Looking “horizontally” to the left - remembering what you once heard.
Looking “horizontally” to the right - thinking about what to lie, how to construct a phrase.
Looking down to the right - is in experiences, feelings, emotions...
Looking down to the left - conducts a dialogue with yourself.
A long glance in your direction indicates the sincerity of his intentions.
Dilated pupils are a sure sign of passion if the man has not been drinking, taking drugs and is not in a room with poor lighting.
A “wandering gaze” and a hand propping up his head—he’s bored.
His eyes are directed to the center of your forehead or the bridge of your nose - a businesslike look.
Frequent movements of his eyes along the “eyes-mouth” trajectory are a friendly look.
A sliding glance from the eyes and lower throughout the body, and then back - an intimate look.
Recommendations for the modest
There is another category of girls who are afraid of being rejected and do not take any action to attract attention.
5 tips on how to please a male colleague who is shy:
- Going on a business trip together is a great way to build close relationships. You can help yourself if you have good connections with the HR department, or make an improvement proposal to management. This is a wonderful opportunity and it is important not to miss it.
- Carefully find out what the guy is interested in and where he spends his free time. You can, for example, “accidentally” end up with him in the same fitness club where he usually trains. Don't worry if the plan doesn't work, but you will definitely get a great figure. The more you can find out about his life, the greater the chances of “unexpected meetings.”
- Becoming a friend on social networks is nothing wrong with that. It's just communication with a colleague. He will be happy to include you in his list of friends.
- Try to find out which ladies are his type. But you shouldn’t suddenly become a blonde or a brunette, go on a sudden diet and wear outfits with a deep neckline. The main thing is to understand what such terms as a well-groomed and pretty girl mean to him.
- Get started with your career. Men love successful girls who don't stand still. You can take additional courses in your specialty, get a second higher education, or improve your foreign language. This will add advantages to you, as he will see an interesting developing personality.
Everything is going according to plan, or what steps to take to win the heart of a colleague
In order to hasten the start of an office romance, we recommend following the following plan:
- Let's find out what the colleague you like is like (his marital status, hobbies, habits). Based on the results of our reconnaissance activities, we decide whether it is suitable for you. We don’t work clumsily, direct questions are rude. We listen to his conversations and conversations about him, study profiles on social networks, visit the same cafes, fitness clubs and other establishments where he goes. Gradually a weighty dossier will be built up.
- We determine how your chosen one treats you. We have already talked about how to understand whether a colleague likes you.
- If the sympathy is mutual, we signal to our lover that we care about him.
- If your colleague does not show signs of falling in love with you, we proceed to winning his heart (instructions are given below).
- If the art of female pickup turned out to be too complicated, and the chosen one remained indifferent, we do everything possible to stop loving the cold colleague and gain spiritual harmony, and with it new love.
Let's go through the last points of our plan in more detail.
Is it possible to make a younger colleague fall in love?
You are crazy about your new young employee and don't know if he will reciprocate. But as popular wisdom says, all ages are submissive to love. How to make a colleague fall in love with you in this case? The main thing is not to lose your “brand” and follow the recommendations:
- look good (follow your appearance, fashion trends);
- find out the range of his interests;
- constantly learn new things (be on the same wavelength with him);
- become the life of the party;
- don't forget about flirting.
Find common interests
After meeting your colleagues, you shouldn’t stop your relationship at the “dude from work” level. If you find common interests with your friends, you can not only quickly improve your relationships, but also brighten up your routine activities with pleasant conversations.
When communicating with people, try to pay attention not only to their words, but also to their gestures. If the interlocutor does not look you in the eyes or always strives to find something to do with his hands, then this means that this topic is not particularly interesting to him. Even if you both watch the same series, this does not mean that your colleague will want to discuss the plot of the new episode for hours on end.
To make a good impression on your colleagues, try to become interested in the same things they are interested in. If you are invited to a meeting outside of your work environment, try to find time to come at least briefly. Communication in such an atmosphere always flows easily and naturally.
Any chance with management?
Not only a young girl, but also a fully grown woman can decide to win the boss’s heart. Even if you like him as a person and shows interest in you, you should know that such men are most often rational people who try to avoid nonsense and unnecessary problems.
In your imagination, you should not rush to draw passionate kisses, hugs, declarations of love and openly flirt with him. In this case, apart from conversations, discussions and gossip behind one’s back, it is unlikely that anything worthwhile can be achieved. But if you are firmly convinced of mutual feelings, behave wisely. Do not advertise your relationship with your boss at work; meet him outside the walls of the institution.
Falling in love with your boss is not prohibited, but flaunting your relationship with him is extremely undesirable, so as not to play on the envy or contempt of your colleagues.
How to please a man on the first date
The first date is akin to the starting line in sports: as you start, so will you run. Based on this, it follows that the first date is of great importance for the development of further relationships, because how a woman proves herself determines whether a love story will begin or not. The possibility of a second and subsequent dates also depends on the first date.
How to please a man on the first date, how to behave:
- if a man invites you on a date, then this indicates, at a minimum, sympathy and, at a maximum, a desire for a closer relationship. Therefore, if a woman is not indifferent to a new friend and wants to make a favorable impression, then she should prepare for the date in advance and carefully work out her own image so that the man wants to admire his chosen one all evening;
— the most important thing is to show up on time for the first date, be cheerful and smiling. It would be advisable not to try to confirm the established statement that a woman can afford to be late, otherwise there is a chance that the new friend’s mood will be spoiled for the whole evening;
— you should look natural on a date; it is not recommended to complicate your hair, wear bright makeup, or wear evening dresses. In this regard, in order not to make a mistake with clothes, it would be wise to inquire about the place of the date so that, regardless of the format of the event, you will look attractive;
- you don’t need to immediately show that you like the man very much, but you need to seem slightly inaccessible and mysterious, let the interlocutor initially try to please him;
- It is important to be an attentive listener. Any representative of the stronger sex will enjoy spending time with a woman who is sincerely interested in him. It is necessary not to interrupt him, but you can ask clarifying questions;
- you need to overcome female fear, excessive worries and behave freely, since these emotions can be transferred to a new acquaintance who worries no less and also wants to please;
- you should call a man by name more often; the sound of his own name sounds very pleasant to a man;
- you need to accept compliments and allow yourself to be looked after - pull up a chair, take off your coat, open the door;
- a woman needs to be interested in herself and show that there is something to talk about with her - she is interested in books, world events, cinema;
- it would be appropriate to warn until what time the woman is planning a date in order to avoid awkward situations and quick hasty departures. If the date is very captivating, then you can say along the way that plans have changed and continue to enjoy the meeting;
- if a woman wants to meet again, then her gestures should copy the body movements of her new friend, and the smile should not leave her face. On the first date, it is important to be able to create the image of a cheerful optimist and just a good person, and then a second date is guaranteed.
How to understand what a man liked on the first date?
This will become clear by whether the new friend suggests the next meeting or not. It is also necessary to listen to what the interlocutor specifically says and whether he gives compliments. You should not make hints about the next meeting and continuation of communication. The initiative must come from the man. A 100% indicator that a woman is interested will be either an SMS with good wishes, or a phone call the next day with the intention of making an appointment.
Prospects for an office romance
There is an opinion that you can’t expect anything good from an office romance. Of course, there are disadvantages. But in fact, there is nothing terrible or reprehensible here if it develops within the bounds of decency. And in the context of the general desire of young people to make a career, this is one of the completely acceptable options to find love and improve their personal life. After all, when people get a job, they do not cease to be a man and a woman. Therefore, it makes no sense to give up happiness, but do not forget about workdays and corporate ethics.
It's all about the right attitude
Quite a large number of happy marriages are the result of office romances. Initially, such relationships have both their pros and cons. Each woman chooses for herself what to do if she likes a male work colleague.
In the process of such a relationship, a number of difficulties undoubtedly await you. However, it is only your choice from what angle to look at possible problems and how to solve them. You can also learn to look at the “secrecy” of your novel with a smile, and at home in the evening laugh together at how you were almost exposed.
There is no need to resist the suddenly surging feeling. You will always have time to reject love, but finding it in our fast-paced world is very difficult. And maybe it’s a banal office romance that will push towards you the person who will become the most important to you for the rest of your life. Just choose the right course of action given the circumstances.
How to understand that a male colleague is in love with you?
To figure out whether your chosen one really has mutual feelings, observe the behavior of your beloved male colleague when you are in a non-work environment. You should count on a romance if:
- the manner of communication has changed dramatically, he becomes stupider and begins to tell “flat” jokes;
- tries to catch your gaze;
- in private he looks away shyly;
- the man becomes absent-minded, sometimes fussy;
- smiles widely, involuntarily tilting his head to the side;
- tries to casually touch.
Learn to listen
This is one of the most important human abilities that 99% of successful people possess. It’s quite easy to tell yourself that this or that person in your team is completely uninteresting. However, if you make even a small effort to understand your friend, try to stand in his place, then your relationship will advance to a new level.
Most people we listen to attentively begin to subconsciously feel sympathy for us. They feel grateful that the other person gave up his time, like some kind of therapist, and begin to see him as more than just a colleague. In addition, people who know how to listen are much easier to trust. Needless to say, how useful it is to have at least a couple of people among your comrades who speak frankly with you?
It is important to note that you should not just pretend to listen to your interlocutor, but sincerely relate to his words. Try to be interested in what your colleague is talking about. Yes, listening to other people's life stories can be quite boring, but if you learn to do it with genuine interest, then others will be drawn to you.
Don't flirt with her via email.
Many guys make a fatal mistake. They try to flirt with female colleagues via email or instant messaging because they are afraid of personal contact.
This is the worst seduction option you can use, and there are two reasons for this:
1. It will be difficult for her to understand what exactly you mean.
If a woman can't see your body language and facial expressions or can't hear the tone of your voice, she should be able to guess how you acted, how you felt when you wrote that message.
If you text her something sexual and try to flirt with her, it can come across as teasing, offensive, and unprofessional.
Perhaps she is one of those women who is easily offended, or likes to create conflict out of the blue, so flirting in correspondence will create a lot of problems for you.
Personal communication only.
If you are afraid to show your interest and act on the sly, hiding behind the monitor, this will only cause anger and irritation in her.
Further flirting will be pointless.
2. You can't create a sense of attraction in an email.
That is, you won't excite her. Women are most attracted to a man when they interact with him in person.
Why? It is during communication that a woman can fully feel your confidence, evaluate your behavior and personality.
You can send her an emoticon or a cool sticker, it will interest her.
But if during personal communication she notices nervousness and doubts, she will immediately lose all interest in you.
She will understand that in fact you are a coward who is looking for a fool for quick sex.
Put yourself in the shoes of others
As a rule, people feel relaxed and free only on vacation or during leisure time. The work environment is very often characterized by psychological stress and physical exhaustion. Such aspects should definitely be taken into account when interacting with colleagues. There is no need to be offended by every negative reaction from your comrades, because most likely it was splashed out not because of personal hostility, but because of a stressful state.
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In addition, do not forget that many workers are adults with families at home. They are often unable to share their personal problems with colleagues, which causes their mood to drop even more. So, if you see one of your employees coming to work in a bad mood, do not add fuel to the fire, but rather distract him from his problems with casual communication.
