What is balance in life, in what aspects is it needed, why establish it, what will be the consequences and how to create a balance wheel
Each system has a certain hierarchical structure
, consisting of elements and connections between them, through which they interact for self-realization and normal functioning of the system.
When the system is in equilibrium
, then all connections between elements are stable - the interaction of elements is carried out with maximum efficiency.
But when an external influence is exerted on the system, some connections may be disrupted
: become weaker, break completely or temporarily. This can also lead to disruption of the elements themselves: they will begin to work less efficiently, or stop working altogether or temporarily.
Then the system stops functioning normally and wastes personal resources to restore
its structure. This leads to a decrease in its efficiency and the need to extract additional resources.
To prevent external influences from disturbing the structure of the system, it must be in a state of balance.
Balance
- this is the state of the system in which there are no external influences on it or it is capable of generating an equivalent response
Balance allows the system to be guaranteed to improve its condition and successfully achieve personal goals. If there is no balance, then this means that she will have to spend personal resources to restore it, or that she is achieving someone else’s goals.
The system may exit
from this state, when a strong external influence will be exerted on her, which she will not be able to compensate for with a response. Then it can change its state, structure or be destroyed. To avoid this, the system must have enough personal resources to provide equivalent resistance and maintain its structure and state.
If there is an imbalance
the system may continue to function, but it will spend more resources to achieve the goal than necessary in a balanced state. This results in the system having to extract many more resources to meet demand, which reduces its efficiency and success.
In order for a person to achieve balance, one must balance
the following aspects:
• think and do • resources • relationships • activities • areas of life
Let's look at each of these aspects in detail.
Play more often
This advice, strange at first glance, plays a very important role in feeling your own happiness and success.
So be sure to find time to play. What are the benefits? You can't count them all. Starting from great joy, which is a very strong emotion, and ending with strengthening ties with family and friends. Games are a good way to feel comfortable and help you not take yourself too seriously.
Remember what games you liked to play before, and schedule this activity in your schedule for the next two weeks - don't put it off for too long. And you yourself will understand why games are so useful.
Use mind maps
Interesting fact: the first person to use mind maps was Leonardo da Vinci. Yes, he was far ahead of his time. Mind mapping is a great tool to balance the functioning of the right and left hemispheres of the brain, and this, in turn, greatly affects your overall well-being. You can learn how to create thought maps and work with them from this material.
First, there are a few key aspects to always keep in mind:
- Use a large sheet of paper, do not limit the flow of thoughts.
- The more colors the better.
- Underline and capitalize words as necessary.
- Combine elements.
- Draw, it involves creativity.
- Come up with interesting and memorable wording.
- Start from the center (be sure to highlight it), where you place the main idea or name of the project.
- Many people advise writing one word at a time, but it is better to limit yourself to three words per point.
B-Alert balance system
Photo: mann-ivanov-ferber.ru
I learned about it from Mark Victor Hansen’s book “The Whole Life” - in my opinion, one of the best in terms of the number of useful tips and inspiring techniques. The name of the system is an abbreviation, and each letter represents one type of activity. B is blueprint (planning), a is action, l is learn, e is exercise (physical exercises), r is relaxing, t is thinking.
The author believes that if you devote time to all these activities every day, you will feel like you are living a fulfilled life. Try several evenings in a row about today and which ones didn’t. At the end of the week, circle or underline the ones you missed - this will help you understand what you should pay more attention to.
Find time to walk
Walking is very beneficial, especially if you are not a particularly athletic person or work all day sitting in an office. Regular walking can significantly reduce depression in just a week.
We are all part of the environment, so it is important to remember that in order to feel happy, we need to take advantage of and be in contact with the world around us, including the nature around us. Walking through alleys, parks and forests can become a real hobby. And if you’re bored of just walking around and looking around, here are some recommendations:
- Listen to audiobooks along the way.
- Make plans for the future.
- Count your steps.
- Dream, set goals in your mind.
Life hack: walk on the grass barefoot from time to time. This is not only pleasant, but also helps to harden the body and improve blood circulation.
How to work with a wheel
Bringing your life into balance, prioritizing is a major step towards a happy, self-controlled life. You cannot improve the aspects of your life that you do not pay conscious attention to.
As a rule, life becomes distorted due to the fact that we ourselves tilt it in a weaker direction every day. We strengthen our already strong sides, or we pay attention to things that do not bring satisfaction and growth.
The purpose of the exercise is to highlight in your mind the priority aspects of life for elaboration . To organize your life, you need to start with one area. If you learn to increase your satisfaction in one part of your life, it will be easy to transfer positive experiences to other areas.
Life balance wheel - helps you set priorities.
The next step after identifying a priority area is to understand what exactly does not satisfy you. Then make a plan and set goals to get things in order.
To the main questions “How to work with him?”, “How to achieve harmony in life?”, there is only one answer: you need to get closer to managing your life every day.
Go away for a weekend every month
The pace of life is accelerating, there are more and more things to do, and it is difficult (but possible) to find a balance between work and travel. We have already written about how to manage to work and travel. Make it a rule to go outside your hometown with your family and/or friends at least once a month. You must do this for yourself, because in our daily routine many of us forget that people are not made of iron, we all need to sleep, relax, get out into nature, eat well, have fun and take a time out from time to time.
You can't afford a whole weekend or trip because it's expensive? Take a walk nearby, disconnect from everything related to work. But keep in mind that it is not easy the first time.
As soon as you disconnect from everyday activities and habits, great ideas immediately come to mind. And that’s not counting interesting discoveries, new places and acquaintances.
Set boundaries and work hours
Set boundaries for yourself and your colleagues to avoid overwork and burnout..
When you leave the office, put the projects you have to complete out of your mind and stop responding to messages from your employer.
The ideal is to have separate computers and phones, so that the worker can be switched off when the working day is over. If this is difficult, then you can set up different browsers, email addresses and filters for work and personal instant messengers.
In addition, specific operating hours must be established . It doesn't matter whether you work outside or at home, you need to determine what hours will be work and when you will stop working. Otherwise, it will turn out that you respond to work in the messenger late at night, as well as on vacation or on weekends.
It is worth notifying your colleagues who work in the same team that there are certain boundaries and that beyond them you are unavailable and are busy with your personal life. This will help ensure that they understand and respect your boundaries and expectations in the workplace.
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Eat out once a month
Some will say: “Just once?”, while others: “I can’t afford to do this so often” or “I prefer home-cooked food.” But we are here to find a balance.
Home-cooked food is good, but sometimes we need someone else to take care of everything while we enjoy being in good company.
Allow yourself to dine at a nice restaurant once a month and don't worry about anything, because you really deserve to relax a little.
And during this time, please, no phone calls or SMS. Just relax, don’t overindulge in alcohol—one glass of good wine is enough to make you feel better.
Useful materials
Download test template:
- Picture/photo templates for printing:
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.- Exercise designer in Excel format, PDF #1 – editable, PDF #2.
- Coaching template in Word #1 format. Template in Microsoft Doc #2.
- PowerPoint template. Presentation - How to Fill a Wheel in PowerPoint #2.
- Application. Life balance matrix – “Full F”. R. Gandapas.
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Books about the exercise:
- R. Gandapas - “Full F: life as a business project.” Audiobook.
- N. Mrochkovsky - “Breakthrough! 11 best personal growth trainings"
- Technique of the wheel of life balance in coaching: I. Pintosevich - “Act! 10 commandments of success"
Video:
- R. Gandapas - About the wheel of life in business.
- N. Mroczkowski - How to create a “Wheel of Life” diagram.
- How to make a wheel of life in Excel.
Don't give up your vacation
Even though work is an important part of every person's life, it cannot replace everything, and sometimes you need to put it aside and take time for yourself. Once or twice a year we have the opportunity to use our time as we wish.
Taking some time to relax will make you a happier and more satisfied person. And perhaps these are the emotions you lack to find the strength to bring ideas and dreams to life. A good emotional release is sometimes much more important than work, which is why you need at least one week of vacation.
Sometimes you need to give in to the impulse and not put off rest until later. Because when you return full of strength, everything will sparkle with new colors. After all, often a short vacation is all you need.
Dress brightly
Get excited about your wardrobe. If you want favorable changes in your state of mind, start with a simple method - diversify your usual clothes and add new colors.
A balanced life is a happy life, and to make you feel happy, your clothes should be appropriate.
It's not easy to feel happy if you wear everything black, brown or gray every day.
Be more expressive, try wearing a bright green or yellow T-shirt or a pair of red sneakers. Afraid of seeming funny? Start small. A man can try wearing multi-colored socks, or a striped tie, or just a bright scarf in his jacket pocket. A woman, depending on her style, can start with a colorful wallet, a neck scarf or a pair of shoes.
Eat natural foods
For better or for worse, we are what we eat. Much of how we feel depends on what we eat and drink. Even small changes in diet can make a big difference. It is better to gradually add healthy foods to your diet than to give up all unhealthy foods at once.
Try adding 1-2 healthy foods to your regular diet every week, and soon you will realize that you don't crave something unhealthy as much because your body is used to a different diet. The process of replacing harmful products with healthy ones is easier because it does not encounter psychological barriers along the way.
Change is easier than you think. A group of scientists from Sweden found that eating natural, organic food reduced pesticide levels by 95% within two weeks. This is good news because even if you have been eating unhealthy foods your whole life, in just two weeks you can get rid of all the adverse effects.
It doesn't matter how much you eat, what matters is how nutritious your food is. By purchasing food from trusted local suppliers, you can increase the nutritional value of your meals. This means you can eat less and still feel great. In addition, by supporting local producers, you will not overpay large companies that make a significant markup.
Internal balance: how balance affects quality of life
Every time we stand in a long line or traffic jam, we rush through life and want the impossible instead of fully living each moment. But how to find a person’s inner balance and not curse every slow cashier? Canadian writer David Kane, on the Raptitude blog, explains what the “Calm down!” advice that everyone loves to give and few can decipher actually means. “Theories and Practices” translated his article on how to become more tolerant.
I understand maintaining internal balance as a fundamental human skill: the degree of its development directly determines how you feel when faced with the most ordinary things, be it an elevator ride, a noisy party, driving or a tiring visit to the post office. Whether we can remain calm in any of these situations is really important, because 90% of our life is spent doing just such ordinary activities.
I believe that with age, willy-nilly, you become more tolerant. Gradually you understand that constantly criticizing the state of affairs in the present is quite pointless, given that this is the very present - the only time in which we ourselves exist.
And yet I cannot remember anyone teaching me about balance. What I remember are commands like “Calm down!” or “Be patient!” from parents, teachers and other authority figures.
I suspect that most people are introduced to the concept of balance in this context - it gives the impression that it is something terribly boring, but, in the opinion of adults, absolutely necessary. Although they usually don’t bother explaining the reasons, and the best we can hope for sounds something like this: “I’m working, you’re in the way!” or “That’s just decent!”
And, of course, no one explains how to achieve this magical result and suddenly calm down. However, decades of research did help me learn something about this coveted superpower and even how to intentionally develop it.
Can I really calmly wait for the light to turn green without fidgeting in my seat?
Balance, or maintaining internal balance, is nothing more than the desire to live life at the speed at which it actually goes, that is, simply not to rush it.
And this, of course, is the only real pace - it doesn’t matter whether you like what’s happening at this very second or not. If we add to this desire the awareness of the simple fact that reality does not depend in any way on our reaction to events, this can seriously change the quality of our experiences of life.
We often want to quickly pass the time when something boring or unpleasant happens, and sometimes we can do this with the help of some improvised means, but irritation certainly does not help with this. If we wait in line, it doesn't make it move faster, it only makes the time we'll spend there doubly unpleasant.
Such intolerance is simply a denial of the reality in which, sadly, we often do not get what we want, problems are not solved, and dreams tend to not come true. This reality is far from ideal, but what really turns these moments from minor trifles into unbearable difficulties is our negative reaction. We respond to an unpleasant event with such emotions, as if this could not have happened, as if this were some kind of serious mistake, like a malfunction in the Universe.
What? Will my plane be delayed due to unexpected repairs? I didn't sign up for this!
Intolerance is just demanding the impossible
In fact, “here and now” is the only time and the only place in which we are always located. So the only way we can escape from them is into an alternative reality created by our imagination. Sometimes we use it to simply daydream about abstract things, but very often this imagined reality is directly related to what made us irritated. While you are waiting in line at the cash register, your brain is working diligently to properly reprimand the invisible manager and tell him in detail that in a decent pharmacy there should not be such queues for N hours (where N is the very time that you see at this moment on the dial).
These thoughts do not bring us any closer to our real goal - to change space and time in such a way that we will never again have to endure someone's stupid argument with the seller or a boring presentation. The irritation is always aimed at the impossible: flying through that too-heavy revolving door, wiping out that dissatisfied customer who caused the seller to call the manager.
Let's be honest: being irritated and having a real opportunity to influence the speed of events are completely different things. And if something really depends on you, then it can always be done calmly. And most often, the real symptoms of irritation are nervous gestures, rage, accusatory speeches that we utter to ourselves, a nagging feeling of “Well, why me?” - appear only at the moment when it is already crystal clear that we are absolutely powerless and cannot influence the process in any way. Balance will not change reality, but it can significantly change our attitude towards it. But this is where the roots of the problem lie. The point is not at all in the actual circumstances in which we find ourselves, but in how we experience the current situation - as terrible or as ordinary? Balance simply allows life to be as it is, which is incredibly useful, if only because life is always exactly as it is.
Give the situation time
Irritation is a reflex and rarely arises as a result of rational thought. However, we are capable of transforming it qualitatively, unless we try to do this at a time when we are already stuck in a multi-kilometer traffic jam or cannot get the last pages of a report from a stupid printer. For this transformation we need a simple idea - learn to give the situation time.
Every day we perform hundreds of simple tasks that do not require any concentration from us. For example, once you've blow-dried your hair, you probably roll up the cord and put the hair dryer in the cabinet. But since this action is somewhat simpler than a neurosurgical operation, in those 10-12 seconds while the body is solving this everyday task, your mind will probably already be distracted by something else - breakfast, work, political news, and so on. Here is another example of how our cunning brain avoids confronting reality. But when you put your hair dryer away in the closet, you are unlikely to experience a flurry of negative emotions, which means this is a good time to work on your balance. To do this, you just need to focus all your attention on the action.
Instead of spending 10 seconds in the usual random thoughts about the past or future, try giving this time to an actual event that is actually happening, that is, an ordinary household task - winding up the cord and putting the device back in place. “Giving time” in this context means willingly and fully aware that right now you are buttoning a blouse, peeling a carrot, stamping an envelope. This little exercise breaks our wandering mind's habit of constantly being distracted from real things. And it works. Gradually, 10–12 seconds each time, you can learn to take care of the present and allow life events to develop at a natural speed.
Give your time to some small task, and then calmly return to thinking about electoral reform or rehearsing a stern conversation with your neighbor about his ill-mannered dogs. Later, when you remember the training, focus again on some small and simple task. It's not difficult at all, and the results may stun you. Thanks to these little exercises, that tight internal spring is loosened, which feverishly tries to push us out of most real situations into an illusory world where everything should go the way we want. Familiar things begin to open up from an unexpected side. It becomes easier to survive an air flight, a shopping trip, or contacting support. Work tasks and social responsibilities are no longer scary and nerve-wracking. Life in general begins to seem less dangerous, as you understand that you want to actually live most of it, without running away from reality.
If we wait in line, it doesn't make it move faster, it only makes the time we spend there doubly unpleasant
Again, this does not require much effort or time. Just 10-15 seconds of focused thoughts about what you usually do automatically while your mind wanders somewhere far away. Start practicing this in small ways, and you'll see that the urge to give up time can also arise in more complex situations—for example, when a pilot announces a mechanical problem with the plane, or when you've been waiting a long time for a call from someone who promised to contact you.
Each such episode that you consciously allow to happen and occupy a certain period of time is an act of generosity towards yourself, a small step towards your own well-being. Believe me, you will make a wonderful castling if you replace your usual irritability with a light attitude towards the situation and allow it to develop naturally. The ability to make such a skillful chess move changes everything. After all, generally speaking, it’s a huge relief to know that you don’t have to do your best to avoid the inevitable procrastination in life, and all the suffering that usually brings arises simply because you mishandle your own emotions.
Can I really survive a trip to the mall without cursing those around me, without sighing heavily or making a dissatisfied face? Can I calmly wait until the light turns green without fidgeting in my seat? Can I catch a connecting flight (or even miss it!) without going crazy? What, can you spend your whole life like this?
Yes, you can, if it becomes a habit, to consciously give the situation time. Any other behavior hardly makes sense and only indicates that we are not yet ready to face reality live.
material from the site theoryandpractice.ru/
Get rid of everything unnecessary
Many people become fixated on what they own. But they can’t get rid of the feeling of emptiness. They can be characterized by one phrase: “I don’t have enough!”, and no matter how rich they are, they will always need more and more.
If you consciously get rid of old things, throw away those that are no longer useful, and donate good ones to charity, you make room for something new.
Get into a good habit: If you haven't worn or used something for 12 months, give it away without any regrets. Rest assured, you have nothing to lose.
Forgiveness is also a way to get rid of unnecessary things. To move forward in life, you need to leave some baggage behind. This is the only way you can become free.
There are many ways to make your life happier and more balanced, but not all of them are easy. Anything can happen in life, there is a lot of good, a lot of bad. And if we strive for balance, then sooner or later we will be able to accept all the blows of fate with dignity and sincerely rejoice in all the good things. We hope you find this article useful and can open your eyes to opportunities that you were not aware of before.
