This article will cause a break in patterns. The Internet is replete with “decent girl” topics written as carbon copies. Reading them, one gets the impression that in order to have the status of “worthiness” you need to be born into a secular society with a golden spoon in your mouth. Automatically, Marusya from nearby Khatsapetovka has no right to claim the title of “worthy girl.” So the idea to protect and give hope to dear “Cinderellas” was not born by chance. And at the same time make a small contribution to the worldview of representatives of both camps.
Gold of the female form
The public unanimously asserts that a worthy girl is a combination of beauty, intelligence, education, sense of style and lifestyle. Stereotypes imposed by various media resources have broken more than one fate. But in pursuit of these images, people have forgotten about the very concept of dignity. But from time immemorial the meaning was completely different.
The main definition of human dignity was only three qualities: nobility, fidelity, honor. These characteristics were not gender specific. They belonged equally to both women and men. But since we are talking about the female half of humanity, then we should understand this direction.
What kind of ideal woman is she?
There is no representative of the fair sex who would not want to become ideal. And men, when asked when they will get married, answer without hesitation: when I meet the best one.
It is worth noting that women's and men's understanding of a “real woman” differs in some way.
However, representatives of both sexes agree that a true lady should have the following character traits:
• cheerful disposition and humor • spontaneity, • honesty, • sincerity, • wit, • charisma, • gentleness, • sympathy.
True, everything is good in moderation. So, if she is too empathetic, she will be suitable for the role of a “vest” or mommy, but she is unlikely to interest a man as an object of the opposite sex. The same can be said about wit.
Highlights of appearance
The highlight of any person is a “sharp tongue” and well-aimed, well-timed phrases. But when this is in excess, the result is causticity and poorly hidden anger. This repels, not attracts.
And a real woman should look appropriate - be moderately slim, fit, in a word, beautiful. But this is a rather vague concept; there are no clear rules here.
Long hair suits some, while short hair suits others. Attractive ladies can be tall and short, fair and dark; the overall appearance is important, not individual characteristics.
The canons of beauty have changed over time.
If earlier the standard of attractiveness was plump, Rubenian women, today excess weight, cellulite skin and excessive plumpness are unlikely to please the fair sex or make her noticeable in the eyes of men.
Therefore, you need to take care of yourself. The ideal woman is well-groomed.
Feminine nobility2
Nobility in women has the same essence as in men, but with a slightly different twist. This character trait is not inherent in everyone. It is absorbed from childhood. It is impossible to be born immediately with a ready-made trait. The environment always has a powerful influence on the formation of personality.
Nobility in a woman is determined by actions. It combines a lot of behavioral models, but the ones that stand out most clearly are: the absence of aggression, bitchiness, cruelty, capriciousness, the presence of delicacy and the ability to forgive. A noble girl will never allow herself to harm those who are initially weaker, not only physically, but also mentally. She knows how to forgive and does not try to make revenge the meaning of life. She recognizes the right of others to make mistakes, and in the event of a fatal mistake, she will simply let the culprit go and will not morally destroy him.
She knows how to delicately close the door to her life in front of those who do not belong in it. She knows how to create a confident atmosphere in everything related to relationships with any people who are in her environment. You can rely on her. A noble girl is selfless, she is capable of very powerful actions. Honesty, another axiom of a noble girl. But she understands perfectly well that honesty does not have the right to harm other people. And here comes another sign - golden silence.
Can nobility be present in an ordinary milkmaid from the nearest village? You don't even have to think about it. The answer is clear: it can! Moreover, among ordinary girls, from the middle social class, nobility has a more pronounced form than among ladies of an aristocratic society.
The point is that a person acquires compassion, generosity and other traits only where they may be needed most often. The pretentious delivery of a hot lunch to a homeless person is not yet a sign of compassion. This is PR, which will then appear on Instagram and collect likes. But volunteer work in a hospice is different. Moreover, this activity, as a rule, is not advertised. It’s simply impossible to realize the need to help others in any other way. This is, of course, an example, but the essence is clear.
For any (!) courtship, I DO NOT owe a man anything but a smile.
THERE IS NOTHING THAT COULD OBLIGATE A WOMAN TO ACT ACCORDING TO A MAN'S SCRIPT.
If it doesn’t work, then repeat:
“I swear not to get acquainted with men who seem like potential husbands to me.”
A WOMAN SHOULD BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS HEAD HIGH, WITHOUT INFLATING OR BEGGING FOR ANYTHING.
Remember, she should communicate with those who increase her self-esteem. As soon as she sees the wrong attitude towards herself, she should stop communicating and receive it elsewhere.
An indicator of a woman’s high self-esteem in the thought: “I am building relationships. I play, not me."
BEFORE, SOCIETY, TRADITIONS, PARENTS PROTECTED THE WOMAN.
She could not communicate freely with a man, otherwise she would not be protected. Therefore, a man, before receiving anything, had to prove himself. In the modern world there is no such protection; it remains only in traditional societies, to which you and I do not belong.
THEREFORE, IN ORDER FOR A MAN TO PROVIDE HIMSELF, A WOMAN NEEDS TO ACCEPT ADVICE FROM SEVERAL CANDIDATES SO THAT COMPETITION ARISES.
The courtship of three men is protection and a guarantee for a woman not to fall into an unwanted relationship.
And falling in love for a woman is sacred. But she should not immediately rush headlong into the pool of feelings. She simply accepts advances and chooses the best one. All men who compete for a woman should know this. The fear of losing a man becomes the main weapon for manipulating a woman.
By letting a large number of men court her, a woman gets rid of this fear and reveals her best qualities, which she sometimes didn’t even know about.
Many women will object - this cannot be done with men, they cannot live in abstinence, they must be “encouraged.” What difference does it make to you?! Do you work for a sexual relief service? Let him decide his own issues.
The more a man abstains, the better his brain works. Because the seed and the brain are made of the same substances. When a man loses less semen, his brain functions better.
Loyalty3
Loyalty is the most essential sign of any worthy person. Moreover, it is present in all spheres of life: from friendship to principles. Loyalty does not necessarily have an exaggerated manifestation in a person. It is difficult to call a person an infidel if he violates some dogmas of society. This is especially true for betrayal.
Individual cases are not indicators of fidelity. Statements regarding betrayal are always based on selfish manifestations of a person’s character. That is why the concept of “treason”, in principle, has no right to exist. Of course, everyone has their own opinion on this matter, but if you start digging, you can destroy stereotypes without really straining yourself.
Loyalty must manifest itself in a deeper understanding of this word: fidelity to word, deed, life principles, and behavior patterns. Loyalty must be taught from childhood. And the main teachers, of course, should be parents. But society should also have a significant influence on the formation of this characteristic feature.
Does the concept of “loyalty” belong to any strata of human society? No! Loyalty embraces the entire hierarchy of human society.
How a lady behaves and looks
Correct behavior is the result of a clear calculation of the situation and is equated to a strategy that brings the desired result. Knownly losing options:
- chat incessantly, especially if you have no idea about the subject of the conversation or the goal is not to prolong time without giving out vital information;
- ignore the general conversation, which will inevitably lead to isolation from part of society;
- use profanity and common expressions in conversation;
- raise the tone, demonstrate violent displeasure, start shouting and swearing.
The main virtues are restraint, friendliness, the ability to listen to your interlocutor, and skillfully maintain a dialogue.
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Honor4
Is the concept of “honor” alien to women? No way! Honor is closely intertwined with nobility. These two signs always go hand in hand and are impossible without each other. A girl's honor implies her moral stability. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Take care of your honor from a young age.” If we focus specifically on the feminine side, then it is not difficult to understand that the main quality will be the ability not to waste time on fleeting relationships.
In general, to think that a worthy girl should be chaste, that is, necessarily a virgin, is stupid. Having partners is not prohibited. But the history of the relationship can shed light on the girl’s honor. Chastity is too broad a concept to be limited solely to the presence of virginity.
But pride - yes, it is an obligatory attribute of honor. Women's pride allows one to keep oneself within the bounds of not only decency. It helps maintain moral purity. Just don’t confuse pride and arrogance. These are absolutely polar concepts. There is more sin in pride than in the absence of virginity. By the way, ladies from “high society” are more likely to be dominated by pride than pride.
Modesty is also one of the signs of maiden honor. Shyness is closely mixed with it. These phenomena of a feminine nature greatly develop the girl’s instinct of self-preservation. And accordingly, they protect her from rash actions. By the way, in “Cinderellas” these qualities are most developed. They are less influenced by modern society. This is understandable: life in the outback is much more different from life in big cities, where these qualities are more likely to destroy than help to survive.
Clothes etiquette for girls
As the saying goes: “You’re greeted by your clothes, you’re seen off by your mind.” This stereotype has become a part of our lives and has not lost its relevance at all times. A girl’s correctly selected wardrobe indicates her level of education.
Important: Clothing should always be appropriate to the atmosphere of the event and its setting. A well-mannered girl will never allow herself to appear at a social event with bright makeup and a short leather skirt.
- Clothes should be beautiful. This rule applies not only to the wardrobe, which is intended for going out into society, but also for home
- A properly brought up girl will not allow herself to be in the house in an unkempt robe or nightgown, even an expensive one.
- Home clothes should be comfortable, simple, neat and beautiful. You should always look beautiful and well-groomed so that you can receive a sudden guest or go out at any time
- Another rule is to cultivate a sense of tact and taste. Those girls who wear a lot of jewelry look defiant. There is one unwritten rule - wear no more than 13 jewelry. These include bracelets, earrings, chains, bright inserts, buttons, belts, etc.
An elegant woman is a good posture, which means a straight back, gently lowered shoulders, a tucked in stomach, straight legs at the knees, a raised chin and slightly bent elbows.
Comparative analysis 5
Based on the main idea, a comparison can be made between the two layers of society. Imposed stereotypes are collapsing like a house of cards. If you turn to any man and put him before a choice, he is unlikely to want to have a socialite with an Oxford education next to him if she does not have the described qualities in her character. Any sane man would prefer a simple girl who has them. And he absolutely doesn’t care whether she knows “Eugene Onegin” by heart, even though this is a good bonus to her personality.
Calling etiquette rules
Phone calls have their time, just like business. A well-mannered person will not allow himself to disturb his friend with a phone call earlier than 8 a.m. and later than 10 p.m., unless this call has been agreed upon with him in advance.
- The rules of etiquette dictate that if the mobile connection is interrupted during a conversation, then the person who called the first time needs to call back
- If you are talking on the phone with a stranger, be sure to address him as “you”
- When you call, be sure to say hello and introduce yourself. When communicating, use only impersonal forms. It is not ethical to address the subscriber with words such as “girl”, “young man”, “woman”
- Be sure to answer business calls within the first three rings. If you are calling, it is not customary to wait longer than six rings for the call. A business conversation cannot last more than 5 minutes
- If you expect a longer conversation, be sure to ask the subscriber if he has the opportunity to devote 20-30 minutes to you, for example
- If you are in a restaurant, put your mobile phone in your bag or pocket. Never put it on the table
- It is not civilized to write messages or “sit” on a social network while communicating with a real interlocutor
- Never answer someone else's phone
Housekeeping7
Of course, you don't have to know how to knit socks. You can buy them, but your culinary skills will be a great addition. Another plus for ordinary girls. Yes, you can’t label girls from higher social strata as “clueless,” but 99.9% of them are only able to distinguish a lobster from a lobster, but they can no longer meet a man with pies.
Why self-esteem is so important
A man wants to see a “queen” next to him, who is always self-confident, capable of solving problems and difficulties, without tears or hysterics, repeating to himself like a mantra: “I know, I can and I will solve everything.” People, even sometimes a little higher in position than such a person, often listen to her advice and see her as a leader.
This does not mean that she will allow herself to be close to a “petty” man or refuse the help offered. Not at all. It’s just that such women will not ask for small things and bother you with inappropriate reminders.
Women with their own dignity are not “blue stockings”, which consist entirely of principles and prohibitions. They sincerely know how to rejoice, laugh, cry, admire, love and be natural. These ladies accept gifts and compliments with dignity, believe in their dreams, have desires, hobbies and interests. They know how to enjoy themselves and life.
Having self-esteem is the key to a happy life. After all, without self-respect it is impossible to demand the respect of a partner, and this is the basis of mental comfort and, as a result, physical well-being.
Sensitivity10
Mood is a thing that can be transmitted to people around you. The girl's sensitivity allows her to feel as comfortable as possible in critical situations. Of course, by lashing out at his girlfriend, a man is unlikely to achieve mutual understanding, but adequate behavior, on the contrary, will give him the opportunity to relax in the girl’s arms and forget about troubles.
Sexuality12
Sometimes people confuse vulgarity and sexuality. And this is an unforgivable mistake. Modesty has already been mentioned above as a guarantee of a girl’s moral purity. But this in no way extends to the expression of sexuality within a couple. Sexuality is a very broad concept. It includes a lot of signs. And sometimes a sweet and gentle creature in a village meadow with a goat on a leash can look much sexier than a fifa in a red convertible.
Healthy ambitions13
Even in Khatsapetovka you can achieve a certain position and authority. But in general, we are talking about both self-development and the desire to change your life. Of course, if the conversation is limited to new models of milking machines, then this is not funny. But the ability to maintain a conversation about higher matters suggests that the girl is far from stupid.
A pleasant bonus for ambition is also some independence and financial independence. You can earn money by doing anything. So, if a girl doesn’t just lie around in a chamomile field, but earns herself an income by collecting them and delivering them to collection points, we can safely consider her worthy.
Video: Features of speech etiquette
- Suppose you are invited to visit. There is no need to follow those rules that say “guests are always late.” It's not cultural. Moreover, such behavior is nothing more than disrespect for the owners of the house
- By the way, a cultured girl will not allow herself to be late for a business meeting, the theater, cinema, or even a meeting with her friend or work colleague
- When entering the house, be sure to greet all guests first. You should not check the rooms for cleanliness and run your eyes from one piece of furniture to another. Girls with good manners cannot afford such behavior
- While visiting, try not to talk on the phone. If someone calls you at this time, politely ask the guests to apologize and step aside. Explain to your interlocutor that you are currently visiting and as soon as you are free, you will certainly call him back
- Don’t look at your watch often – this can show your hosts that you are not interested in their place and are in a hurry to leave.
