Projection as a personal defense mechanism, or why we see ourselves in others

The world of human relationships is complex and, unfortunately, does not always bring us joy. There are often moments that cause resentment and bitterness, irritation or disappointment. These are difficult feelings that I would like to get rid of, and a person has unconsciously learned to protect his psyche from excessive overload and negativity. S. Freud was the first to study and describe the mechanisms of psychological defense, determining that one of the most ancient and primitive mechanisms is projection.

Types of projection

The manifestations of projection in our lives and in relationships with other people are varied. Usually there are 4 main types:

Attributional projection is based on the individual attributing the motives of his behavior to other people. Usually these are motives condemned by society or unacceptable by the person himself. (“Greedy!” shouts a child to a peer who does not want to treat him to candy). The complementary projection is in some way the opposite of the attributive one and manifests itself in attributing to oneself qualities that are opposite to those that are rejected. (“I am strong and brave, and you are just a coward and a weakling!”). Rational is justifying one’s mistakes and failures by blaming others for some shortcomings, weaknesses, or unprofessionalism. (“The project would have been successful if such mediocrities and lazy people had not worked on my team.” “We would have had an ideal marriage if the husband had cared more about the family.”) Autistic projection is the projection of one's needs into the external world. It is well illustrated by the saying: “A fisherman sees a fisherman from afar”

A hungry person first of all pays attention to food, and a woman who has experienced her husband’s betrayal sees only traitors and traitors among the men around her. She simply doesn't notice others.

Often, in human behavior and his perception of the world around him, different types of projection interact. This is especially true for people who lack self-confidence and are burdened with complexes and feelings of guilt.

Case 2

This case reveals another source of difficulty when working with children: our primitive reactions aimed at protecting them. The need to protect can cloud our therapeutic judgment and force us into an omnipotent position, which usually disintegrates into incapacity, at the expense of the child and our Ego...

V., a five-year-old girl living in a kibbutz (a form of commune), suffered from extremely severe allergies - so severe that she was sometimes in danger of dying. She had allergies to animals, gluten in food, smoke and many other things. But the three reasons listed above caused most of the problems in the kindergarten, where pets were kept, flour made up the bulk of the diet, and two employees smoked.

On a physical level, the solution looked simple: keep animals away from the girl, provide her with a separate menu and smoke outside! But nothing of the kind was ever done. The kibbutz staff stated that other children required keeping animals, some managed to give the girl bread, and smokers simply did not go outside.

Mental health staff were asked to intervene on two levels: to provide advice to the family and the kibbutz. It turned out that the girl’s mother is a militant champion of justice, opposed to the rest of the population of the kibbutz. The father was a dependent, frightened man who did not know how to make independent decisions and did not dare to have his own opinion. This couple functioned harmoniously: the kibbutz residents communicated only with the mother, and could not identify with the real problems or tensions of the situation, because they were too busy quarreling with her.

After examining the child and family (no one asked us to examine the girl, we simply felt that we could not assess the situation without seeing the child...), we felt that the girl's entire existence was determined by her illness, and she was faced with serious difficulties in developing a real sense of self . She showed no fear—that seemed to be her parents' job; she simply did what she was told, recognized only parental authority, and did not maintain any relationship with the children or even with the kindergarten staff. This seemed natural, given the nature of her mother, but no one paid attention to the damage it all caused to the child. The excuse, of course, was her deadly illness. But that was just an excuse. In fact, the parents did not feel their child. She connected them with the world and was the main concern in their lives. They provided her with excellent care; doctors considered them excellent parents; but there was no real, independent child. V. turned out to be either a terrible disease or a bone of contention between the family and the kibbutz.

As a result, the parents’ position led to new problems: V. developed a sleep disorder and his behavior became aggressive. The parents agreed to send V. to psychotherapy in order to be able to sleep at least a little...

V. really liked the treatment, she was attached to the therapist and willingly went to sessions. It was mainly her mother who brought her, and for many sessions she, at her own insistence, was in the office with the child. When V. moved on to symbolic games, her mother began to discuss how the kindergarten staff were putting her child in danger. The therapist had serious difficulty with this because she felt that the mother was using this strategy to interfere with treatment - but how can you argue in a life-threatening situation? After some time, the mother began to wait for the child outside the office, and V. began to express her fears of poisoning, aggression towards the world and her feeling that she was constantly being attacked. She became much more open and less aggressive, and the sleep disorder almost disappeared.

At this point, the mother demanded a report highlighting the harm done to the child by the daycare staff, and when the therapist told her that this was inappropriate, the mother announced that treatment would be stopped immediately and did not allow V. to even attend the final session.

The therapist spent several weeks thinking about what else she could do and finally came to the conclusion that she should warn someone about the harm the parents were doing to the child. However, she felt that she was too involved in what was happening and came to me for counseling. She sent me a very detailed report, describing the mother in every detail, and much less V. - in essence, reproducing what everyone around was doing and what she objected to so much. Having studied the material, we found out that the problem has two sides: the first is the classic situation with parents withdrawing their child from treatment as soon as it becomes clear that the child is beginning to change; the second is the denial of the extremely destructive role played by the kibbutz. The therapist placed all responsibility on the mother (who provided more than enough grounds for the accusations), and completely denied that the population of the kibbutz, for their part, behaved just as stubbornly and rigidly, resisted and accused just as violently (the therapist herself lived in another kibbutz ). The report of harm to the child was in no way a reason for the interruption of treatment; it would have been interrupted anyway. The analyst felt that she had abandoned the child, aroused in the girl the hope of a different type of object relationship, and then pulled the rug from under her feet. We came to the conclusion that all this was clear from the very beginning, and she decided to carry out the doomed treatment because she identified with both the child and the kibbutz, and wanted to save the girl. It took her a lot of effort to admit that in reality she couldn’t change anything; she preferred to look for errors in psychotherapy (blaming herself as a therapist), without recognizing that the situation was hopeless, that as long as the conflict remained in force, the parents would simply be a means to continue it. The therapy really helped this girl and began to bear fruit. But neither the family nor the kibbutz allowed change. They needed a battlefield, and the therapist's identification with the girl was in itself useless.

We began by discussing the emotions that she had difficulty accepting: hatred of her parents, the feeling that they were killing the child; as well as a discussion of the need for the therapist to break down the idealized image of the kibbutz in order to see the full picture. Until she admitted her hatred of her parents, we couldn't move on to anything else. Having worked through these emotions, we discussed the feelings of helplessness and disappointment she had experienced at the abrupt end of treatment, whether they reflected the girl's feelings or the therapist's own difficulties in accepting the fact that she could do nothing. As a result, the therapist began to feel that her need to “do something,” to say something to someone, was a form of struggle with her aggressive feelings towards the entire system, which she had previously coped with by creating a therapeutic cocoon around herself and the girl. This would be essential for the creation of a therapeutic setting if the outside world allowed such a setting. But under the circumstances, it served as an ideal basis for denying [reality]. Inside the cocoon, the therapist could ignore all other problems. Only interruption of treatment allowed us to discern the beginnings of these problems at the very beginning of treatment.

What is projection

Do you know how a projector works? It transfers the image from film to the screen. Also, a person often transfers and projects his feelings, thoughts, desires onto others. Most often these are unpleasant thoughts and desires. Shame and guilt are difficult experiences, and a person strives to get rid of them so as not to traumatize his psyche. Moreover, he not only takes his sins and dark thoughts out of his consciousness, but imparts them to other people. This way it’s easier for him - he doesn’t need to blame himself, because others are no better, and even worse.

Thus, the most jealous are always husbands who themselves are not averse to cheating on their wife. But since they have similar thoughts and desires, then women should have them too? And this has its own, albeit perverted, logic. And a wife who accuses her husband of spending extra money on “his whims and toys” is not very thrifty herself. She really wants those shoes or that blouse, but her husband is no better than her. And when judging our neighbors or colleagues, we remember first of all those unpleasant qualities that are inherent in ourselves.

You will say: this is bad, and I never do that. No, don’t indulge yourself in illusions, everyone does it, and you too.

How it works

The protective mechanism of projection is inherent in all people and is formed in early childhood. It is born from the prohibitions that society dictates to us. In the process of upbringing, ideas about good and bad, about what is permissible and what is unacceptable are formed and consolidated in the mind. A child very early begins to understand that showing aggression, offending the weak, insulting other people, and taking away toys is bad. The older a person gets, the more prohibitions society dictates to him. They create conditions for negative experiences, because even wanting the forbidden is bad and unacceptable. And a person strives to protect himself from these unpleasant emotions, to get out of the internal conflict between what is desirable and what is acceptable. So the well-known reaction arises: “It’s your own fault!”

Projection is one of the oldest types of psychological defense, and its mechanism is simple. It always works like this:

The individual feels discomfort, shame, and irritation, caused by forbidden desires and his behavior that is incorrect, from the point of view of social norms.
In an effort to get rid of negative emotions, a person takes unacceptable desires and impulses beyond the boundaries of his consciousness.
He attributes these motives to other people so that he himself would not be so ashamed, because “everyone is like that, everyone does it.”

That is why “old maids”, preoccupied with their “wrong” thoughts and desires, fight so energetically against the “debauchery” of youth. And a drunkard, in moments of sobriety, angrily stigmatizes his alcoholic neighbor.

The projection mechanism also adds fuel to the fire of interethnic conflicts, because most often representatives of one nation accuse their enemies of sins inherent in themselves. And the more of these sins, the more aggressive people become. Most often we blame those whom we ourselves have offended. Why? So as not to be ashamed and not to feel guilty.

The people who most loudly accuse officials of theft are those who themselves would not mind warming their hands, but do not have this opportunity. And by rejecting their own desires, these accusers project them onto those who have such an opportunity.

Projection and empathy

Projection is not only associated with shameful thoughts and antisocial desires

The process of transferring emotional states underlies such an important socio-psychological phenomenon as empathy. Empathy in psychology is understood as a person’s ability to experience the same feelings as his partner

This is compassion, empathy, which is based on personal emotional experience. It is this experience that the individual transfers to other people, imagining how they should feel in a situation familiar to him. Therefore, the suffering or joy of another can only be understood by one who himself suffered and rejoiced.

Without the ability to project your emotional experience, mutual understanding is impossible. Although the projection does not always reflect the objective state of affairs. We can empathize with a person, think how bad he feels, because in a similar situation it was very difficult for us. But this does not mean that that person is really suffering. People are different, and the circumstances in which they find themselves are also different. But the more emotionally close individuals are, the more accurately they understand each other’s condition.

Pros and cons of projection

Although this psychological defense refers to the natural reactions of our psyche to difficult social situations, its disadvantages are obvious and visible, one might say, with the naked eye. These include the following consequences of using projection:

distortion of reality - we see not what actually exists, but what we would like;
inadequate assessment of other people's behavior;
interpersonal conflicts due to attributing our own sins to partners;
hiding his shortcomings behind projection, a person does not strive to get rid of them.

However, it is not for nothing that projection is classified as a psychological defense mechanism. Repressing from consciousness those thoughts and impulses that a person himself considers harmful and bad helps him cope with internal conflict. Otherwise, this conflict could lead to the development of diseases such as neuroses, psychoses, and depression. After all, you must admit, it’s hard to constantly blame only yourself. The fact that projection protects a person from the destructive feelings of guilt is a definite plus.

The second advantage is the role of projection in empathy, as discussed above. Thanks to this mechanism, the mother understands how the child feels when they didn’t buy the desired toy, and the teacher knows what the student who received a bad grade is going through. Without projection, the world would turn into a crowd of callous, insensitive and self-absorbed egoists.

Projection, like other psychological protection, is necessary for us, as it protects the psyche from traumatic experiences and helps build relationships with others. But knowing the disadvantages and dangers of projection, you need to control your thoughts and behavior, limit your desire to blame everything on others and blame them for all troubles.

Peculiarities

As a result of the projection

different people will predict different emotional states in the same animal

As a defense mechanism, projection allows a person not to feel responsible for his own shadow contents (unacceptable feelings, desires, motives, ideas, etc.) by perceiving such feelings as someone else’s.

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A negative consequence of such protection is the desire to correct
the external object onto which something negative is projected, or
to get rid
of it altogether in order to get rid of the feelings “caused by it.” In order for the projection mechanism to be activated, it is necessary to have in the perceived object features (if we talk about people) or properties (if we talk about an object) that could cause an unconscious reaction in the observer. In most cases, the unconscious reaction is associative: the subject notices something similar to what (or whom) he saw before. This, for example, can explain some reminiscences. However, there are cases when the projected content does not reflect the content of the personal unconscious, but is the result of a projection of the collective unconscious, and then the projection becomes numinous. Also, a projection becomes numinous when its source affects extremely important aspects of the personality, which gives the projection extreme value (even to the point of fanaticism). Therefore, any object onto which any content of the unconscious has been projected always has the property(s) that served as the reason for this. C. G. Jung called these properties hooks.

Projection is one of the main defense mechanisms in paranoid and hysterical personality disorder.

But this same mechanism underlies empathy: a person cannot directly sense the internal state of another person, but can empathize by reacting to various manifestations of this state. As a result of the action of projection, these reactions are perceived as a direct sensation of someone else's state. In most cases, such empathy increases mutual understanding between people.

It also underlies the personification (“animation”) of objects and forces of nature, and the “humanization” of animals. For example, phrases such as “calm sea”, “troubled sea”, “the storm was angry”, “faithful dog”, “independent cat”, “unhappy horse” are the result of attributing to external objects one’s own reaction to them.

Negative manifestation of projection

However, in most cases, projection in psychology is considered a defense mechanism that exists in order to protect a person from various shadow, repressed, hidden aspects of his personality. As a result of this mechanism, a person may not feel responsible for the feelings and thoughts that he unconsciously attributes to others. It would seem that this is an effective and reliable option for protection, but its negative result is that a person begins to try in some way to correct the object on which he is projecting his emotions, or to get rid of it altogether, just so as not to see and feel these emotions . Moreover, in reality, the object may have absolutely nothing to do with the emotions or thoughts of the individual who is actively projecting them.

For example, people often do not see their own shortcomings, although they notice them in others with amazing attention. A greedy person can see only greed and stinginess everywhere; one prone to theft will believe that everyone around him is nothing but thieves and crooks. Good advice from psychologists works here: to understand your shortcomings, you should take a closer look at what you criticize the people around you for. Interestingly, the same mechanism works in the case of positive character traits, which we also often do not notice in ourselves.

How to find out the projection?

1. Projection is always irrational. You can be sure that the person is extremely vile, although you have never communicated with him. You will not be able to give clear arguments for this.

2. Projection loves a lack of information. Communication on the Internet contributes to the birth of projections, as does communication on the telephone.

3. Usually the projection is negative. We usually experience discomfort when talking to a person on whom we are projecting something.

But there is also a positive projection, when we find it difficult to accept our own positive qualities. There is no need to explain why this case is less common...

As you can see, there are many projections. But they all have the same essence - bringing something internal to the outside and perceiving it as external.

By observing yourself and the people around you, you can identify such projections, which means you can better understand yourself and your interlocutor. Use this tool and you will be able to avoid unnecessary conflicts and achieve your goals faster.

Projection on animals

We all know situations when it seems that completely human emotions are written on the face of a cat or puppy. What’s interesting is that different people in the same situation can attribute directly opposite feelings to a cat, which the animal, of course, does not actually experience. This is proof of the operation of the projection mechanism, when we personify, “humanize” various objects of living and inanimate nature. Expressions like “loyal dog” or “furious wind” do not reflect the actual qualities of the objects being described. They only talk about our emotions, our perception of them.

Projection mechanism

In simple terms, projection in psychology is a defensive reaction. It develops in childhood. The basis for its formation are prohibitions dictated by society. Day after day, information about what is good and what is bad is reinforced in the child’s mind. In the process of upbringing, parents tell him how to behave in a given situation. As a result, even very young children know that they cannot take toys from others, they also cannot fight, offend the weaker, etc.

Over time, there are more and more prohibitions. Moreover, even thoughts about the forbidden are unacceptable. This state of affairs causes a storm of emotions in an already adult person, including the spirit of contradiction. A real struggle unfolds inside him between what he wants and what is possible. The projection mechanism consists of 3 parts:

The person experiences some discomfort, perhaps shame, irritation, anger. They are caused by his attitude towards what society prohibits.
Trying to cope with negative emotions, he takes forbidden desires beyond his consciousness.
Transfers these desires to the people around him. Now a person is not so ashamed and uncomfortable, because others behave the same way as he does.

Thus, women, who are called “old maids,” direct all their strength to the fight against corrupt youth. And those who abuse alcohol during periods of sobriety talk about the bad behavior of their drinking neighbors.

It is interesting that the projection mechanism manifests itself even in such areas of life as politics and war. Residents of one state accuse their “neighbors” of the sins they themselves have committed. And the more such sins, the more furious the accusations, the stronger the aggression.

What a long way to go. Remember the times when you accused and scolded those whom you yourself offended? For what purpose was this done? To get rid of shame and guilt.

Case 1

A. was referred for treatment at the age of 4 years due to numerous developmental problems. He suffered from severe speech delay and had almost no contact with others. It was unclear whether the lack of contact was part of the autism syndrome or a reaction to the frustration and difficulties inherent in his speech disorder. He simultaneously began treatment with a psychoanalyst and a speech therapist. Many considered analysis to be an unnecessary waste of time, and the analyst was assigned fantasies of omnipotence related to the boy’s ability to develop normally.

For two years the analyst struggled with a withdrawn, uncommunicative, inhibited and uncreative child, whom many believed to be mentally retarded. During the sessions there was almost no symbolic play observed; repetitions and stereotypical forms of behavior predominated. But the child enjoyed going to the sessions and clearly showed a certain degree of affection for the analyst. Two years later there had been significant leaps in speech development, and although difficulties in pronunciation remained, it became clear that the child was capable of using language; his social behavior also changed greatly. In the analysis he began to take the initiative in a rather categorical manner. He chose the type of activity and required the therapist to copy his every move. If he drew a picture, the analyst had to draw exactly the same thing, and A. did not allow him to get ahead of himself. It was as if he needed a mirror reflecting him, an adult in the role of a transitional object, amenable to control and manipulation; otherwise A. lost his sense of self. This stage lasted almost a year, after which the child fully mastered the real game, spending almost 24 hours a day playing this activity. He got himself a doll that depicted him with the child's analyst, and acted out relationships in the family, emotions, growing up and the life of the baby, etc. - the leading role in these games almost always belonged to him. The parents and kindergarten were delighted; it seemed that the child had experienced a rebirth. It became clear that he was not autistic or mentally retarded, but a gifted child who, among other things, also had a sense of humor.

At this point, doubts arose in the analyst; she lost faith in the child's progress, faith in herself in the therapy room, she felt that all her normal instincts, confidence in her abilities and in herself as an analyst, had disappeared somewhere. She discovered that she was losing boundaries in her relationship with the child’s parents (talking to them on personal topics, accepting offers of a ride in a car or other services, etc.) and returning to the stage when A. was an absolute dictator in her office; that she had lost her own self. Whenever during supervision we analyzed any of these forms of her behavior, she [everything] “understood”, but after a few days she “forgot” to tell me about what she had done wrong, or about the inappropriate mixing of her private life and the private life of her parents patient. She seemed to internalize nothing, accepting my comments as having no effect on her behavior. She felt resistance from her parents. It seemed obvious to me that she was projecting onto them her resistance towards me, towards everything I said. We seemed to have reached a dead end, and no one really understood why this was happening. A. continued to make progress, and at one of the supervision sessions I casually asked if he had stopped treatment with the speech therapist. Suddenly the word “cessation” seemed to shine a bright light on everything for me. Weren't all these problems with the parents, the regression on the therapist's part to previous forms of behavior, a way of denying the end of treatment? Was the analyst unconsciously trying to achieve regression in the patient? Did she deny the fantastic changes that had happened to the child, because because of them he had to leave her? Didn’t she stop or slow down the child’s development in order not to separate from him? I tried to share these thoughts with her. She responded with a significant increase in insight into the parents and their difficulties, acting out with them decreased, but there was essentially no change in her feeling that the patient was not doing very well in the treatment and that he was determining the course of the analytic sessions.

At this stage A. began to ask her how he was born and asked her to tell the story of his life. In the analyst's office there was a huge pillow on the floor, on which many children liked to curl up; A. also did this often. Now he unzipped his fly and crawled onto the pillow, and they played many related games, which had apparently been quite significant before, and then became simply repetitive. The analyst again did not know what to do in this regard. A. began to ask her to sit on the pillow with him and read him a story. He wanted to lie on top of the analyst, curl up, suck his finger, and have her stroke him at the same time. At the beginning it was like being born again, so I listened to such descriptions calmly. But gradually they began to look less and less like being born again, and I noticed that he was six years old and perhaps going through the stage of a complex Oedipal relationship, which was completely denied in the analysis where he was presented as an infant. Suddenly the physical contact seemed inappropriate, almost an attempt at seduction.

I tried to discuss this during supervision. We have looked at the idea that the analyst keeps the patient from growing up in order not to let go of the child she has, in a psychological sense, brought into the world; we looked at the difficulties of parting with a child with whom she had been involved for more than half of his life and his entire adult life; we talked about her acting out the Oedipal mother and her denial of her pleasure in it. Although all these considerations seemed reasonable and perhaps fair, they did not bring about any change. Then, during a group discussion, one of the colleagues asked: “Why don’t you sit on a chair, leaving the child on the pillow,” and the analyst replied: “I don’t have my own chair. This is a room for working with children, there are no chairs for adults, and I don’t have my own place.” She didn’t think about this attitude at all, and only a random (or not random?) remark from a colleague shed light on something she never told me about - and I didn’t ask her. We were also able to discover a critical component of her willingness to merge with this child. She worked a lot with children with developmental delays and had an outstanding ability to “be with them everywhere,” a rare ability and life-saving for these children. But this trait also served her own specific needs, and when A. became a “normal” child, the analyst found it difficult to renounce the image of herself as an omnipotent, all-encompassing mother and to separate from A. and from that in herself that allowed her to fulfill this difficult work.

In this case, countertransference, projections and resistance were worked through. There is a happy coincidence of circumstances: an amazing child, wonderful parents and an astute analyst who is ready to admit mistakes. But getting to the bottom of what was going on also required a combination of her own analysis, supervision and casual commentary. Without external support, which also acted as the analyst's superego, she might become even more confused and lose even more boundaries between herself and the child, herself and his parents.

Empathy and intuition

In psychology, projection is the basis of empathy. The ability to do this is considered the norm by psychologists. Empathy is feeling for another person by projecting your own personal experience.

Without experiencing physical pain, we can feel the pain of another person. We can feel his personal tragedy, empathizing and supporting. Sensitive people are more prone to empathy.

The same is true with intuition. This is also a projection of experiences and feelings onto another person.

We recommend: Understanding and mutual understanding

Have you often wondered how your mother can sense your condition from a distance? How can a person, located thousands of kilometers away, know what is happening in your soul? The connection between souls in love can also be explained. They feel each other as if they were one - amazing, right?

Projection

Projection is the attribution of one’s own qualities, feelings and desires to another person. This happens unconsciously, i.e. a person, carrying out a projection (for example, being greedy, knowingly believes his business partner to be equally greedy) is absolutely sure that the other person really possesses these qualities.

Projections can be both positive and negative. In the first case, a person assumes positive qualities or feelings in another, in the second - negative ones.

This property of the human psyche, inherent to one degree or another in all people, was described and studied in detail in psychoanalysis, and then in other, later areas of psychotherapy.

Although even before that it was noticed by many writers and served as a theme for creating comedic characters who find themselves in ridiculous situations because of their fantasies about other people.

For example, the hero of Gogol’s play “Marriage”, experiencing panic horror before starting a family, but nevertheless finally deciding to take this step, asks his servant: “Have you been to the tailor?... Didn’t the tailor ask why the master needs a new caftan? Didn’t he say that the master wasn’t going to get married? ...Have you been to the shoemaker? Didn’t he ask why the master needed shoe polish - was the master planning to get married? etc. He projects his attitude towards this event onto everyone else, considering it equally significant for them.

Other examples of comic situations of this kind can often be found in folk tales and anecdotes. Psychotherapists use many of them in their work with clients.

The projection is perfectly illustrated by the eastern parable about the merchant and the parrot, recorded by the modern German psychotherapist N. Pezeshkyan. It sounds like this. “An eastern trader had a talking parrot.

His appearance brought the parrot into terrible excitement. He crackled, flapped his wings and suddenly said: “Did you also knock over a bottle of oil and get a slap on the head? That’s why you have no hair now!”

Of course, projection gives a certain comfort to a person and protects him from unpleasant experiences. After all, it is much calmer to consider someone else to be the culprit of all your failures than to admit not very flattering character traits in yourself.

In addition, there is always a temptation to shift responsibility for your troubles to someone else. However, in order to get rid of your problems, you first have to admit your own imperfections.

He kept nodding his head and finally said: “Because you constantly change nests, nothing will change. The smell that bothers you comes not from the nests, but from you.”

This is an example of negative projection. But even in the case of its positive version, situations can be created that are just as anecdotal for external viewers, but sad for their participants. Here's another parable. One elderly couple was celebrating their golden wedding. Over breakfast, the wife thought: “For fifty years now I have been trying to please my husband.

I always gave him the top half of the crusty bread. But today I want this delicacy to be mine.” She buttered the top half of the bread for herself and gave the other half to her husband. To her great surprise, he was very happy, kissed her hand and said: “My dear, you have given me great joy today.

How often does a person assume that his loved ones love the same thing as he does, without even thinking to ask them about it! At the same time, he projects onto them his good attitude towards something and tries with all his heart to please them, often encountering a reaction that is very unexpected for himself.

Sometimes it happens that a person projects onto someone else not a separate character trait or attitude, but a whole image, his idea of a “friend,” “wife,” “husband,” “child,” etc.

In this case, a person unconsciously creates this image in his imagination (as a rule, its creation is influenced by the stories of parents or friends about what a “friend”, “wife”, etc. should be like.

, as well as works of art and films), and then “sees” in the people around him not real people, but these images. Because of this, a person has unjustified expectations and hopes in relation to other people.

Awareness of one's projections, separation of one's own images, feelings and relationships from real people in psychotherapy is called removal (or return) of projection. A significant part of psychotherapeutic work is aimed at this.

Familiarity with one's own unconscious, its images and fantasies, awareness and acceptance of one's negative feelings and experiences allows a person to take more responsibility for his life, rather than shift it to others, and build his relationships with others more realistically.

Introduction

It is difficult for every person to admit their mistakes, especially in professional activities.
Psychoanalysis adds a characteristic feature to this: we have an abundance of professional terms that describe, explain and interpret our interventions, give a name to what we have done, and help us clarify, understand and often justify our actions and our words. We call actions “acting out” and words “interpretations,” and this creates a sense of professionalism rather than error. Another unique feature of psychoanalysis is the ability it provides to understand and justify everything in terms of the patient's feelings, words and actions. If we say something that the patient rejects, it is the patient's denial, not simply the therapist's misunderstanding. If the patient criticizes the therapist, we naturally look for the father figure that he projects onto us. If a patient stops treatment, it is acting out or running away, not quitting unsuccessful treatment or leaving a bad therapist. This feature also allows us to deny strong emotions such as hatred or aggression. We give them different names, or we reproject the hatred and aggression that we feel towards the patient who is leaving us back onto him. If hatred of the patient or recognition of his hatred of us turns out to be too heavy an emotional burden, if they are unacceptable for our Super-Ego, we can simply call them something else.

Of course, the picture I drew is slightly reminiscent of a caricature. Transference, projections, resistance, acting out, etc. truly exist and are the cornerstones of our profession. But they also provide us with words that we can use when we intend to deny our participation in what is happening, our resistance, our projections. We can always shift them to the patient. This is indeed a special situation because the basic tools of our trade are also the best tools for denying and hiding our mistakes, and learning how to use these tools correctly means also learning how to use them incorrectly.

Moreover, psychoanalysis requires the analyst to be extremely focused on himself. The analyst is his own instrument. He uses his sensations, free associations, thoughts and feelings as an important part of the information he processes about the patient. Therefore, he must constantly deal not only with the patient, but also with himself. This process can be quite frustrating if we discover our blind spots, mistakes and difficulties; but it can also be an excellent screen, blocking all these unpleasant things from us, if used incorrectly.

Given all these considerations, how do we recognize our mistakes, distinguish them from those cases when the patient is actually using transference, denial, resistance, etc.? How do we recognize hatred and aggression, and recognize our own “bad” feelings? Finally, do we simply tell ourselves, “I was wrong,” without masking this conclusion with professional jargon? How and when do we tell a patient, “I was wrong,” so that the words do not turn from serving the patient's interests into something like a narcissistic act? How do we deal with failure, how do we distinguish between causes of failure, including those that depend on the patient? Nobody likes failure, even if it is not our fault. But in psychoanalysis, sometimes a hopeless situation arises when either our professionalism as a therapist or the initial idea that therapy should help this particular person are doomed to failure. In addition, when a patient leaves us, we are forced to cope with rejection. Even if we recognize that there was little hope for the progress of this particular patient, we are the ones whom patients, when they stop treatment, blame for their departure.

I present two clinical vignettes that reflect some of these issues. The first example is taken from the analysis of a small child. Children force us to react on a very primitive, primal level, so that we are prone to react without reflection and then have to deal with what we have done. The second example concerns the termination of treatment initiated by the child's family, which left open all questions regarding mutual refusal [cooperation], rejection and impotence. In addition, it is even less acceptable to have “bad” feelings towards the child, so that any “normal” hatred and/or aggression is reframed and may be redirected towards the family or environment, and is not recognized as something happening between the therapist and the child, or in the therapist's soul under the influence of a child.

TYPICAL SITUATIONS

We attribute our intentions to people

Let's say there's a new employee in your office that you really like. At the same time, you are not thinking about an affair: you have been married for a long time and are quite happy, and you are not going to cheat on your husband. And after a while you begin to suspect your husband of cheating: he came late, did not answer phone calls. Day by day your jealousy is becoming stronger. Most likely, in this situation, the projection mechanism worked: you will never admit to yourself that you would like to cheat on your husband, and then attribute your intentions to him.

We incorrectly “guess” other people’s feelings

We incorrectly “guess” other people’s feelings, usually attributing to them too many traits that are actually inherent to us. If you rarely refuse to fulfill someone’s request, staying late at work because of this, go to the cinema to see those films that your friends like and not you, listen to other people’s monologues about life, and so on. Most likely, you yourself are very sensitive, upset by other people’s refusals, and therefore attribute the same touchiness to everyone else. In fact, your colleagues may not even realize (or, on the contrary, they guess too well) that they are overloading you, while your friends would agree to watch another movie.

How metaphorical maps can help

Metaphorical association cards (MACs) have become very popular over the past two decades. Psychologists of various directions successfully use them for diagnosis and correction.

There are hundreds of decks of metaphorical cards: oracles, association cards, Tarot used in a psychological way... The abundance of techniques sometimes causes confusion. Many decks have an initial focus: for example, “Windows and Doors” cards are suitable for working with personal boundaries, my favorite “Archetypes and Shadows” deck will allow you to work with interpersonal problems, and it is convenient to apply “From the Chest of the Past” cards to childhood traumas. In my practice, I often work with the “Simbolon Oracle” - cards with amazing depth of images.

There are many ways to work with MAC. These include Tarot-type layouts, open work, when the client himself chooses images that resonate with him, and, of course, transformational games in which the cards carry a powerful semantic load.

Unlike standard psychodiagnostic methods, in projective methods there is no division into “right” and “wrong”. The emphasis is on the client's unique properties.

At the same time, the stimulus material and instructions are always ambiguous, which makes it possible for individual traits to emerge.

For people suffering from various forms of alexithymia, projective techniques greatly facilitate the therapy process. In addition, the process itself is perceived as safe: it seems that when looking at images and commenting on them, a person is talking about objects that do not relate to him.

The principles underlying the projective approach were described by Viktor Frankl in 1939:

Personality is a system of interconnected processes, and not a set of disparate qualities.
Each of us can be represented as a relatively stable system of dynamic processes that develop on the basis of needs, emotions and personal experience.
The system changes, “shaping, directing, distorting, changing and reshaping each situation into a system (configuration) of the individual’s inner world.” Moreover, everything that happens to us bears the imprint of our personality.

Thus, the use of projective techniques is a very effective way to diagnose and correct the projection mechanism. The so-called visual turn, implying the equivalence of visual and logical-verbal thinking, has largely contributed to the widespread popularity of both projective tests and work with the MAC.

Checklist: things to remember about projection
Projection is a normal process of mental development, which does not necessarily reflect neurotic manifestations.
Projection is a defense mechanism. This is a filter that protects us not only from negative emotions, sensations and information, but also from the influence of pathologically dangerous factors. Thanks to it, a person does not change too quickly, which could lead to a disruption in his adaptation.
Normal projection implies the presence of principles and attitudes, according to which we build the image of our “I”.
The pathological form of projection is a defense mechanism with which the occurrence of phobias is associated. In the pathological form, perception is distorted, but the illusion of control over intentions, feelings, and behavior remains.
When someone constantly projects positive or negative qualities onto us, it can lead to anxiety. We doubt whether we really have these traits, and sometimes make erroneous judgments about ourselves. Parental projections stand out especially clearly here. Recognizing their influence on your own life and neutralizing them requires reflection skills, and sometimes years of therapy.
The peak of the pathological form of projection is paranoia; clinically it is defined as a well-organized system of delusions. Thus, a paranoid person's belief that he is constantly being stalked often means that he would like to stalk others.
A healthy form of projection can be creativity. The creator projects himself into his heroes, but at the same time does not lose sight of himself. Therefore, art therapy and any form of creativity can be helpful when working with projections.

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Projection in psychology (with examples)

Let's talk about projections? What it is? And why, when we are undeservedly (as it seems to us) accused of something, we can safely answer: “These are your projections!”

Let's start, as always, with an example. The driver speeds through the city, breaking every conceivable rule, swearing loudly and cutting off other cars. And then he runs into a traffic jam under the bridge.

He opens the window and shouts to some completely respectable citizen: “You learn to drive, you drive like crazy!” Here is the projection.

That is, attributing one’s qualities and properties to another, usually unconsciously.

In psychology, projection is called a defense mechanism of the psyche. Why? Because by doing so, a person relieves himself of responsibility (“we are not like that - life is like that”).

We can project more than just our negative qualities onto others. For example, a young eighteen-year-old girl can write poetry where she will describe her lover - a brutal guy, subtle and creative.

Or a jealous, loving husband constantly suspects his wife, although he himself is “in the dark.”

This mechanism is formed in childhood. For example, parents diligently said that “being angry is bad!” That is, this quality was forbidden to manifest, but this is also such an important mechanism. Therefore, it remains somewhere in the deeper layers of our psyche - we have since denied it in ourselves, but in others we notice it. As in the quote with the log and the speck.

Why are projections dangerous? Those that lead to an erroneous perception of reality. The mechanism of projections can be easily traced by the example of tests with fuzzy figures, in which their emotions are not visible or their actions are ambiguous. For example, Murray's Drawing Apperception Test (PAT).

How do you know about this? How can anyone know EXACTLY and with certainty the thoughts of another?3. And of course, projections are hidden where we SEEM that they are thinking about us. Yes, that seems to be the key word.

Maybe the boss really doesn’t like us, or maybe he had a fight with a friend and that’s why he raised his voice.

The projection is like a shadow, afraid of the light. Therefore, the main way to find out why someone is “kind of nervous” or “looking at me askance” is to ask about it. However, not in the form of a statement, like “I know, you can’t stand me.” And in the form of “It seems to me,” and of course, start the dialogue not with “You are such and such,” but for example, “I feel some kind of understatement,” that is, with OWN feelings.

Projective methods in psychodiagnostics

In psychodiagnostics, projective techniques occupy an important place. They are used during pathopsychological experiments and a diagnosis is made on their basis.

Working with projective techniques is complex, and training takes a lot of time. An illiterate specialist and independent interpretation can do much more harm than good. I often hear examples of erroneous interpretations, which sometimes cause a smile and sometimes indignation.

A person who prefers shades of red is sometimes attributed to excessive activity and demonstrativeness; for a man who loves to grow flowers - erotic passion; for a child who collects knives - hidden aggression. Paradoxically, such interpretations are often themselves the fruits of the projection of specialists.

The skillful use of projective techniques opens up truly impressive prospects. Statistical and quantitative methods, standard tests are most often unable to reveal that personal and intimate thing that makes healing possible for the client. And visual thinking, which is activated during the use of projective techniques, allows one to avoid the traps of rationality: excessive influence of “reasonable reasoning” often leads to hardening and loss of hidden meanings.

Other methods of protection

In addition to projection, there are several other methods of psychological defense:

Denial is a defensive reaction that begins to develop in childhood. Its first manifestations can be noticed when a child breaks a plate, but persistently proves to the mother that it was not he who did it. Denial often occurs in people who do not want to accept a serious diagnosis. Strong psychological pressure from the outside will only strengthen the defense of the psyche, which will lead to a person’s general isolation.
Repression is a psychological defense mechanism with the help of which pressing problems are forced out of consciousness into the area of the unconscious, but this does not make the problem disappear. It takes root in the psyche, which is why the general condition does not change for the better.
Introjection is a defense mechanism by which a person immerses himself in the world of his authority. At the same time, you can find out which feelings warm him more, what he lacks.
Isolation is a mechanism by which a person divides his personality into two parts. He accepts and protects one, denies one and tries to hide it from others.
Regression is a psychological defense mechanism, when activated, a person moves to a simplified level of functioning.
Fantasy is a defense mechanism by which the subject creates an unreal reality that cannot happen in real life. This helps to cope with the thirst for your own desires.
Transferred aggression. It helps not to be offended by your loved one when he, returning from his own affairs in a bad mood, begins to take out aggression on loved ones.
Reactive education. It appears in people who do not know how to save money. Moreover, the more difficult it is for them to earn a certain amount, the faster they will spend it.

Another psychological defense mechanism is rationalization. It can be seen in the stories that students or schoolchildren write when they are late for class or fail to complete their homework.

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism that develops in any person from birth. It protects the human psyche from the destructive effects of negative emotions, experiences, and grievances. A defensive reaction distorts reality, which prevents people from assessing the situation sensibly.

Pathological manifestations of projections

The above described phenomena that accompany a person in everyday life almost constantly. Psychologists say that such a defense mechanism most often works in rather vulnerable and anxious people. However, projections can occur in various mental disorders, such as paranoia, phobia or mania. In these cases, projections can become aggravated, lead to more or less strong manifestations of delirium, a person can hallucinate, and cannot distinguish reality from the manifestations of his psyche.

Thus, a paranoid person, obsessed with a certain idea, becomes unable to perceive responsibility for his life, for his desires and emotions. He most often shifts this responsibility onto the shoulders of his immediate circle or some mysterious enemies who ruin his life. He becomes very aggressive and although he claims that he is being persecuted, he is rather ready to persecute someone himself.

Projections do not always manifest themselves in such drastic situations, but most often they interfere with the lives of neurotics who, in one way or another, shift responsibility to others. A person in such a situation becomes a victim of his own projections and, instead of actively managing his life, passively submits to the will of circumstances.

Concept of projection

So, there are several basic meanings of this term. In classical psychoanalysis, the legacy of Freud, projection is a defense mechanism that indicates the presence of a certain conflict in the human psyche, which is in a depressed state. During the operation of this mechanism, a person attributes his emotions, feelings and thoughts to others. At the same time, he denies the fact that these are actually his own feelings. So, before an important report, a person may worry and think about the audience, “I am unpleasant to them,” although in fact people do not experience negative emotions towards the speaker. He himself shifts his unpleasant feelings onto them. Thus, a person perceives his own emotions and thoughts as something coming to him from the outside, to which he has nothing to do and cannot influence it.

Accordingly, in the understanding of psychoanalysts, such projection of various manifestations of one’s psyche onto others is one of the indicators of neurosis (the cause of neurosis, in turn, is internal conflicts between the conscious and unconscious components of the psyche).

On the other hand, in some psychological theories, projection is a natural mechanism inherent in the human psyche from the beginning. Thus, projection is seen not only as a manifestation of neurosis, but also as a normal process.

Discussion

Learning to “let go” is a developmental stage that is probably one of the most difficult for many parents. The child does not simply solve problems in his development that were previously set by his parents; parents should also allow him to overcome these. Coined by Mahler, the term “separation-individuation” suggests two parallel processes carried out by two people, where both must participate in this complex movement towards independence. Loewald says not only that the child needs to develop boundaries and develop superego functions through separation, but also that the parent may feel this as a loss and deprivation. Continuing his thought, he describes the functions that the child assumes, taking them from his parents; and that the child perceives it as a murderous act directed at the parent. Without going to extremes, we can agree that there is some kind of aggression here. Separation always contains an aggressive component. Perhaps the separation of a child at birth and a bleeding placenta are the earliest encounters with the abyss of pain and aggression that separation can cause.

According to Anna Freud, one of the goals of child analysis is to promote normal development, to return the child to the normal path, regardless of whether he has normal abilities and has “deviated” from normal development due to external, reactive factors, or suffers from birth defects that block normal pathways for him.

The therapist, whether he works with children or with adults, has the same task as a parent (in terms of growth and independence): his task is to help the patient achieve something that will allow him to leave the analyst. In the article “Finite and Infinite Analysis” Freud says: “It even seems that numerous analysts have learned to use defense mechanisms to distract from their own person the consequences and demands of analysis...”. With any letting go, problems arise (and adult patients are often very aware of the therapist's feelings and "use" countertransference to avoid leaving). But working with children makes this task doubly difficult and much more challenging. We must cope with both our therapeutic self and our parent self, and distinguishing them is often extremely difficult.

Projection – psychological defense

Examples of projection from life are subjective views on the environment that are characteristic of the individual. Psychological defenses, in balance, are necessary for the psyche to compensate for traumatic events. But if defense begins to prevail, seizes mental space and becomes the dominant way of communication with the world, we are talking about neurotic behavior, and in extreme forms it manifests itself as psychotic disorders.

An example of a normal and successful use of projection is the actor’s experience of the hero’s drama, endowing him with his pain, reliving the emotions in the role. Thinking and planning actions from the angle of “what would I do if I were in his place” also includes the conscious use of this defense, if the understanding is maintained that this is just a guess. But even in this case, if you remove the element of understanding the assumption, a situation arises “to judge by yourself.” This is a common situation in cases of jealousy and suspicion in personal relationships.

A neurotic also applies psychological defense in relation to the characteristics of his own individuality. He separates from himself not only impulses, but even the physical parts of himself, the organs in which these impulses arise, endowing them with objective, in some form, existence. They become responsible for difficulties and help to ignore that these are parts of the person himself. For example, hunger can be explained by the peculiarities of the stomach, and not by one’s own natural desire. The subject creating the projection appears to be a passive object of circumstances, and not an active agent in the life of his own individuality.

Thus, in projection, the line between the intrapersonal and the rest of the world shifts in favor of one’s own benefit, which makes it possible to relieve responsibility by denying the ownership of aspects of individuality that are perceived as unattractive and offensive.

Projection is a consequence of introjects causing a feeling of contempt and a desire for alienation in the individual. A person who desires love but avoids close relationships because he believes that others will definitely betray him is a classic example of projection. In everyday speech, psychological defense is manifested in formulations when the behavior of others causes indignation and condemnation, replacing the pronoun “I” with the pronoun “you\he\she\they”. The same “white coat”. And the stronger the pressure of the impulse, the more aggressive the external attacks.

Envy is a more conscious projection, since a person already includes himself in the system of relationship with the projection. Psychological defense underlies the ability to personify inanimate objects (children are “friends” with toys), or animals, communication with which is built on an emotional level.

Discussion

Treating young children is a different world. So many changes occur as a child grows naturally that it is often difficult to tell which of them are due to therapy. The therapist's connection to the child-parent world can in itself bring about change, easing tensions or facilitating ongoing processes with little or no therapy due to the therapist's very presence, or blocking these processes entirely due to rivalry or parental fear of discovery or intrusion. We establish therapeutic contact with parents (regarding not only technical issues such as time and money, but also treatment goals, etc.), but work with children, with or without parental participation. However, parents are always involved, even if they do not actively participate in treatment. And perhaps we always easily forget that the family, in the words of Bronfonbrenner, “is the fundamental context of human development.” After all, for a child we become not only objects of transference, but also real objects that influence his growth and development. We are constantly dealing with a system, not just a dyad.

Thus, when working with children, we are faced with a number of pitfalls that are not always obvious when working with adults, but in fact express in explicit form those problems that are easier to ignore when dealing with adult patients. We consider psychotherapy or analysis of an adult as a closed, dyadic relationship, focused on the inner world (of both partners in the dyad) and therefore allowing the exclusion of the system in which the dyad and each of its elements function. Children and families force us to pay attention to this system.

I think we cannot consider projections and transference in the system as a series of dyadic relationships. In fact, every contact with another person constitutes a dyad, and families are not only triads and quadruples, etc., but also a collection of dyads. The lion's share of the literature and training associated with psychotherapy and psychoanalysis focuses on dyads, and the concepts of transference-countertransference and projection-counterprojection are used primarily in the context of dyads. Therefore, our way of thinking, the logic of judgment, refers mainly to the dyadic system, and we tend to extend this approach to intervention and the inclusion of additional participants in the dyad.

There are parallels to this in the theory of development on which we were brought up. The original idea concerns the mother-child dyad, where the father is introduced much later and plays a different role from the mother. Today it is generally accepted that a child forms dyadic relationships with several close people from the very beginning. The infant is capable of supporting several dyads, not necessarily one main one on which all other relationships are based.

If we extend this approach to therapy, it will be necessary to recognize that every patient is part of a system, and that the particular dyad that he forms with his therapist is only one separate aspect of his being. Of course, we always knew this - but we still formed these little cocoons around the patient and the therapist, who were in their own world, and often viewed the interference of reality in these cocoons as protecting the patient.

When working with children, this attitude often takes the form of viewing parents as interventionists - just as they consider us interventionists (which we actually are, even if we provide miraculous help). Sometimes it is easy to forget that for a child the main objects are the parents, and our task is to promote their relationships. Sometimes it seems to us that it is the parents who should promote our relationship with the child. It is much easier to consider them our rivals than us as their rivals...

While therapy continues, many of these problems fade into the background. But they manifest themselves in full force when we begin to think about stopping therapy, or our parents insist on it. We feel like we are “giving away” the child to the parents. We must “let go” of the child, just as parents let him go when they allowed him to enter therapy. There are many parallel situations between what parents should do when they refer a child for treatment and what the therapist should do when stopping treatment. The main point is trust; we expect parents to trust us (even though we say we won't tell them all the information) and to show the child that he can trust us. When we let [the child] go, we must trust the parents just as much and let the child understand this. The child may take advantage of these transitional periods to manipulate the relationship between the parents and the therapist, just as he manipulates the relationship between the parents. He must be able to trust adults to set limits and resist testing limits and not get caught up in his manipulations.

At the same time, adults should be aware that transition periods, especially final periods such as the end of treatment, cause fear and aggression. The child takes on independent functions - and the parent may feel depressed or even attacked because something is being taken away from him; when therapy ends, parents take on independent functions, and we may feel depressed or even attacked—something is being taken away from us. So we come back to the need to acknowledge the hatred and anger that such aggression can cause in us.

The more intense the treatment, the longer it lasts, the more important is the role we played in the child’s real life, and not just in his fantasy world of transference. Therefore, “letting go” is very real, it is not just a projection of our own difficulties, parents or child. Completing therapy, when it is successful, has a great positive impact, like any growth. But this does not exclude fear of independence. Parents themselves may experience it; and the therapist may doubt the parents' ability to care for the child on their own, forgetting that they must learn to make and cope with their own mistakes - just as it is impossible to protect the growing child from his own mistakes.

How projection and empathy are related

It is worth noting that in psychology, projection is not always negative emotions. It often goes hand in hand with empathy. By definition, this is a person’s ability to empathize, sympathize, and experience the same feelings and sensations as the interlocutor. This is compassion that is always connected to personal experience. A person understands how his opponent feels in a given situation, because he himself has experienced a similar one. It’s not for nothing that they say that you can understand a person by walking in his shoes.

Without projection, it is difficult to achieve success in relationships with other people. However, it is not always objective. You look at the situation from your side. You think that you understand the person’s feelings. This is mistake. In fact, he experiences something completely different. After all, all people are different. You don't know what's going on inside them.

Only emotionally close people can understand each other 100%.

Positive manifestation of projection

However, projection is also the same mechanism that underlies empathy, which allows you to consciously and controlled experience the emotional state of another person. Naturally, a person cannot directly feel the same as his interlocutor, but he can react to various manifestations of the other’s experiences. This is where the projection mechanism in the individual’s psychology comes into play: he feels the feelings of another in the same way as if he were experiencing them himself. However, in most cases we are aware that these feelings come to us as if from the outside.

It is this mechanism that allows us to understand each other, thereby improving our relationships with friends and family.

Projection Detection Experiment

You will need a partner Vasily. Everyone has Vasily, I think, so if you are bored at a meeting with him (in general, he is a rather boring guy), you can try to conduct an experiment on projection.

In addition to Vasily, you will need two pieces of paper and two pens or pencils. A set for each.

Conditions: Sit opposite each other in a calm environment. Place paper and pen in front of you. Agree who leads first. Remember the rule - you can't talk about anything. In general, forget that you can speak. During the entire experiment, both participants only silently looked at each other. Let's say you are the leader.

You, as a presenter, think intensely about something for 2-3 minutes. It could be anything. You can try to suggest something to Vasily or convey a feeling to him. You can try to blow his head up with your mind. At the same time, you are prohibited from actively non-verbalizing in any way. Don’t put on a stone face, but don’t try to make Vasily understand you. Just broadcast.

Vasily’s task is to observe you and catch his sensations and feelings. They will be quite thin, so you will have to try. He should also try to catch what you are thinking about and what you are broadcasting to him. Vasily records all his guesses and feelings on paper. Maintain eye contact whenever possible.

After 2-3 minutes the roles change. Now it's your turn to read minds.

When the time is up, share with each other what you felt and thought.

The differences will almost certainly be dramatic.

Moreover, pay attention - what you “considered” from Vasily’s head is actually your own thoughts and feelings. Now you know how projection works

Desires to “catch up and do good”

Several indicators of this mechanism can be cited. For example.

A person, instead of saying: “I”, as a rule, says: “We” or “They”. There is no taking credit for your words. Do you really think so or believe that you think so?

There is a lot of criticism of everything and everyone, a desire to teach other people to behave in a certain way. “You definitely need to find a bride and one, how long can you run back and forth?!” And if we turn to the need-motivational sphere of the person who imposes this on another, then it is not difficult to understand that the search for the one and only thing is his dream and need. This happens automatically. The person who says this to another does not keep track of the fact that he is communicating a personal need that is exclusively his. But whether this same bride is needed by the one who is given such a recommendation is completely unimportant, because the adviser sincerely believes that if I want it, then everyone else wants it too, how could one not want it?!

But seriously: when a person himself learns to clearly understand and realize what he needs, then he will be able to see the needs of other people, then there will be no desire to “catch up and do good.” When we appropriate the unaccepted parts of ourselves, we understand that it is ourselves, then we can do something about it.