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« | Friend is known in trouble | » |
- Proverb. |
« | If a friend suddenly turns out to be neither a friend nor an enemy - and so... | » |
— fragment of “Song about a Friend” by Vysotsky. |
« | In this unfaithful world, don’t be a fool: Don’t you dare rely on those around you. Take a sober look at your closest friend - A friend may turn out to be your worst enemy. | » |
— Omar Khayyam |
The very first sample. Hey, red ass, you won’t be fat - you were just relaxing on vacation, and now you’re going on your honeymoon?! Who is she, why don’t I know?
Quite a lot of works are devoted to the theme of friendship. But, unfortunately, many of a person's friends may turn out to be fake. Like this? At first glance, such friends seem good and reliable, they are always nearby, communicating and so on. But when the hero gets into trouble, he begins to have problems; such friends will never help, but will abandon him so that these problems do not affect them. It is quite possible that after solving the problem they will return to the hero and behave as if nothing had happened. These friends can also weave intrigues and, secretly from the hero, play dirty tricks on him (mainly for their own benefit). And at the same time, they are by no means sworn friends - they often quarrel, but in trouble they help and will never betray, while these are the opposite.
In real life and some works, there is also a type of trope: friends, seemingly real, who easily helped in trouble, suddenly abandon the person when he finally begins to live normally or even well. Because initially, the reason for friendship with someone dysfunctional was precisely the opportunity to help him from time to time in an easy way and feel better for it (or just look cooler compared to a loser friend/ugly girlfriend), but with a successful person there’s no point in talking about how. This type of fake friends is capable, in the most clinical cases, of doing everything to prevent the “friend” from getting out of minor troubles further (for example, giving harmful advice in the area of personal and family life, so that the friend would never fix it and continue over a glass of tea complain about asshole men, openly interfere with looking for a new job, dissuade people from moving to another country, which could potentially help with radical treatment or a change of image), and they do not always portray a bucket of crabs consciously. Sometimes, however, the reason is simple envy that a friend, unlike the subject of the article, was lucky, he succeeded in some area, found his love, or simply won the lottery.
He's insensitive to your pain
A sworn friend doesn't care about anything that doesn't concern him personally. Even if you sprain your ankle, he will leave you in the middle of the road, “because everyone must take care of themselves.” And when everything gets better, this figure will appear again and, as if nothing had happened, will assure of his devotion.
You may be interested in: “How to say “No” correctly and maintain good relationships with others"
Examples[edit]
Folklore[edit]
- An anecdote about how animals fell into a pit. They decided to eat whoever the spinning bottle pointed at. The bottle pointed at the hare twice, but the bear stood up for him (in another version, a wild boar). And the third time, the bottle pointed to the bear itself. The hare's reaction - “What, Misha, have you ever been successful?”
Theater[edit]
- Kozma Prutkov, “Lyubov and Silin” - one of the characters is named in the list of characters: “Kersten, a small nobleman and Silin’s false friend.”
- S. Ya. Marshak, “Cat House” - Goat with Goat, Chicken with Rooster and Pig, who happily treated themselves to the title character, but when her house burned down, everyone refused to give her shelter.
- “The Legend of the Prince” - try listening to the songs “Your Highness” and “Despair” in a row (the interval is four scenes or one duel). But in the original version there is a complete inversion: friends warn the prince that the Betan fleet is waiting for them on Escobar, and offer Zerg either to repent before the emperor or to rebel, and when he refuses, they decide to follow him to certain death.
Literature[edit]
- A. S. Pushkin: “Dubrovsky” - Troekurov for Dubrovsky Sr. He didn’t just leave him in trouble, but organized this trouble - and all because Dubrovsky did not behave respectfully enough.
- Evgeny Onegin is also good. He seemed to be a friend of Lensky, but he himself sensitively insulted him, clearly enticing his bride. Yes, at that time his act looked exactly like a cruel insult, and not just an unpleasant joke. Well, killing in a duel doesn’t add to your sympathy.
- Yes, in general, since childhood I have been at odds with the protagonist. It was later in the war years that a zigzag was played out with Romashov the friend. At the very beginning he was one of the best friends, along with Valya Zhukov. And only gradually his falsity began to be revealed, especially against the background of the very decent Vali.
Cinema[edit]
- Mean Girls was Regina to Cady, Karen and Gretchen, and long before that to Janice. For example, Regina, knowing about Cady's feelings for Aaron, took the guy away and continued to communicate with Cady as if nothing had happened. Or suspended Karen from the group because she was wearing the wrong T-shirt. Or pushed around Gretchen. And despite her friendship, she completely made Janice an outcast before all the events of the film, starting rumors about her supposedly unconventional orientation. So she shouldn't have been surprised when Karen and Gretchen ended up turning on her and Janice and Cady plotted revenge.
- Kick-Ass 2 - Hit Girl joins the local club of Alpha Bitches, who “became friends” with her only in order to humiliate her.
- “Everyone will die, but I will stay” - first Katya is betrayed by her long-time friends Zhanna and Vika so that the disco will not be canceled (and two days before that they send her back to her tyrant parents, realizing that she could be beaten for running away), and then again and new one, Lyalya. The latter stood stupidly on the sidelines while Katya was being beaten by Nastya, and only then went supposedly to help, while continuing to look around in fear and say that nothing of the sort had been done to Katya. Zhanna is a subject not only for Katya, but also for Vika. Two points are indicative. Firstly, when Nastya insults Vika and forcibly takes away her favorite ring, Zhanna behaves like Lyala and does not try to stand up for her friend. Secondly, Zhanna, afraid to sort things out with Katya herself, sends Vika to talk, and she prefers to watch what is happening from afar. And in general, Zhanna often manipulated Vika, persuading her to fulfill her desires.
gets close to Martha only to set her up.
TV series[edit]
- "Gossip Girl" - Penelope, Isabella and Hazel for Blair. At first, they simply leave her for someone more successful under any pretext (for example, Jenny in the first season and Serena in the second), and at the end of the second season they even weave intrigues against her. In the third season, Jenny becomes this for Eric.
- In season four, Damian befriended Eric only for him to help him ruin Ben's life.
- But none of the above are up to Dan, who threw mud at his friends in his book and generally turned out to be that same Gossip Girl
.
- And Ulyana herself was “lucky” with such false friends. When the girl’s father took away her apartment and car as punishment and blocked her card, her friends refused to help her, hiding behind fictitious problems. Then they continued to communicate with Ulyana as if nothing had happened.
- Barbie has a similar attitude, first to the Singer, and then to Tina.
Elizaveta Koshkova. Elena, knowing full well that her friend had good reasons to kill her mother and frame her stepfather as a child, not only condemned her for this, but also blackmailed her, threatening, if she refused to fulfill all her desires, to show law enforcement agencies entries from the diary in which this terrible story was described. And she also beat off Elizabeth’s boyfriend (who, by the way, turned out to be a bastard). There was an additional tearjerker for the reason that Elizabeth not only had no more friends, but also not a single truly close person.
- The series “Plus or Minus Life” - a friend of the victim Elizaveta Kolpakova, for money, reported to her friend’s father about all the secrets and details of her life. Highlighted by Volodya: “It’s a shame that a girl like Lisa got a friend like you.”
- And in the series “Reason for Despair” there is an option with a wick: the treacherous girlfriend repented
.
"befriends" Eleanor only to steal from her family.
Cartoons[edit]
- “Firefly No. 5”, plot “Puppy” - one of the boys, having decided that his lost puppy Ryzhik has done something wrong (since a policeman brought him), deliberately pretends that this is not his dog. And when Ryzhik recognized the owner, he also rudely pushed him away. As a result, another boy takes the puppy, and the real owner, trying to suck up to the pet again, was rightly barked at.
- “The Teetotal Sparrow” - the hero is first forcibly made drunk, and when he drunkenly makes a brawl, he is branded with shame. In Mikhalkov’s fable, everything was quite harmless: the poor fellow fell asleep under the table. But he was still bullied with gossip.
- And before that, he tried to become friends with the Puppy, and then he himself gave him to the Pirate.
(link)
Animated series[edit]
- "Family Guy" - Patty, Ruth and Esther for Meg. This was revealed in the episode "A Fistful of Meg", where they stopped communicating with her after a bully challenged her to a fight. The fact that they are her only friends makes the situation even more tear-jerking.
- “As Ginger says,” Courtney’s “girlfriends” could easily trade her for someone more popular. And give Miranda any reason to betray Courtney.
- "Hey, Arnold!" — when Phoebe was transferred from fourth to sixth grade, the local cool girls pretended to be her friends so that she would do their homework for them and pay for their lunches. But when a third-grader was transferred to the sixth grade, the girls openly told Phoebe that they no longer needed her services, because they now had this new girl.
- RWBY - Emerald Sustraey for the title team.
- "Gravity Falls" - Candy and Grenda for Mabel have shades of this stamp, judging by the way they abandoned her during the zombie invasion, and the first one also seriously planned to take her boyfriend away from her. However, they shared many adventures with her and Dipper and even survived Weirdmageddon without being petrified!
Comics[edit]
- "The Adventures of Tintin: Cigars of the Pharaoh" (and almost until the very end of the direct sequel called "Blue Lotus") - Roberto Rastapopoulos for Tintin. This super-rich and secret crime baron had a grudge against Tintin for a long time (his actions brought him huge losses in previous issues), his direct personal communication with Tintin began with a quarrel... but a little later, when fate brought them together again, Roberto considered it necessary to “make friends” with Tintin (and he took it at face value). Rastapopoulos did this so that Tintin would relax and not expect danger from this side, and also so as not to rely on his tellers, but to receive information, so to speak, first-hand.
Anime and manga[edit]
- Berserk - Griffith for... yes for everyone. One can argue about how much he was initially ready to sacrifice all his friends, but the fact that he sacrificed them is a fact. The point is that the characters misinterpreted Griffith's attitude towards them. He wanted to completely own both Guts and Casca, not be friends with them. The rest of the mercenaries are only comrades and subordinates for him. He did not say that he considered anyone his friend (about which he even literally gave a whole speech to the princess).
- Let's not forget about Dio in the very first part. For several years in a row, he successfully pretended to be a friend of his half-brother Jonathan, although he still did not fully believe him. And he did the right thing. Well, Jonathan’s friends, whom Dio lured away at the very beginning.
- The same Charmander after evolving into Charizard. Having become a fire dragon, he simply refused to obey Ash (at best, he could even spit fire at the boy - not fatal, but offensive). He mockingly ignored Ash's requests and pleas - well, now he is strong, which means the coach is at his side.
- Rossiu is also a fake friend.
Moreover, Reiner and Bertolt were responsible for the destruction of Wall Maria and the death of Eren's mother. Eren's reaction is expected .
- then this couple completely crossed the moral horizon of events: they kidnapped CC’s adoptive mother and demanded a ransom for her; in addition, Xiaoya wanted to drug Xixi and Jiegang with an aphrodisiac so that after the rape she would lose her child, but fortunately Xichen arrived in time.
Video games[edit]
- The Witch's House - Ellen. She asked Viola for a body “for a day”, and then did not keep her promise. Moreover, she additionally mutilated the old body so that Viola, imprisoned in it, could not call for help and soon died painfully from her wounds, and in the finale she completely arranged the death of her “friend” at the hands of her own father (he shot the “witch”, thinking which saves “Viola” from her)
.
And most importantly, Ellen never suffered any punishment
. - Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Aversion. Having escaped from prison with the protagonist, Eric decides to “visit” his former partner, who abandoned him in the hands of the guards and ran away with the loot, buying a respectable store with it. However, when the heroes get there, they find out that that same partner spent almost all the profits from the store on bribing prison guards so that they would not “notice” the tunnel with which Eric escaped.
- “Romance Club”, “On Thin Ice” - Naomi for the GG, because she often spilled her secrets to the main gossips of the hotel, and then about or “if I knew that this was a secret for you, I would not have told anyone.” Even when Naomi apologizes for this, everything always repeats itself again.
- Warframe - The Steel Meridian and Red Veil syndicates are stated to be allies with each other. What is false? Steel Meridian rescues and accepts the Grineer Cavor deserters into its ranks, and the Red Veil, in an attempt to create a “future without wars,” studies with interest the “defect of peacefulness,” because of which the Cavors, in fact, abandoned their former brothers. Veil operatives also show up for a mission to rescue deserters and demand that the player not interfere, but they themselves begin to kill these same deserters (potential recruits of Meridian, for a moment), justifying themselves by saying that they need experimental subjects, and Meridian refused to hand over its fighters for research. With such allies there is no need for enemies...
Television[edit]
- “Federal Judge”, issue of “Teenagers”. The victims were the only friends of the defendant and knew very well that her parents were dead, and her aunt was raising her harshly, hoping in this way to raise her as a decent person (and in general, being a prison guard, she does not know other methods). However, when she comes to them after another scandal with her aunt, they decide to send her home and go to the disco themselves, because with her black eye she can ruin the mood of their friends.
- “Country in SHOP” - two shopaholic friends will rejoice, smile and sweetly flatter each other until the item or service that they both liked is left in exactly one copy. It will all start with mutual insults, and will end in a real fight in which there will never be a winner.
- “It's a family matter. The battle for the future" - pedal to the metal. A schoolgirl pitted her friends against each other for fun and to collect likes. When the girls “hit each other”, the instigator simply filmed the fighting friends and provoked them even more. When one of the friends unsuccessfully pushed the other so that she fell and hit her head hard, the instigating friend simply ran away. As a result, one of the friends remained disabled, the second, due to feelings of guilt and bullying from classmates, committed suicide, and the culprit got away with it.
- "Comedy woman". The heroine, played by Nadezhda Sysoeva, cries because her boyfriend abandoned her. Her best friend, played by Maria Kravchenko, supposedly comes to console her, but in reality she simply mockingly said that it was she who beat the guy off.
Music[edit]
- Vladimir Vysotsky, “Song about a Friend” (see epigraph):
« | If a guy in the mountains is not ah, If he immediately becomes limp - and goes down, Steps onto the glacier - and wilts, Stumbles - and screams, - That means there is a stranger next to you, Don’t scold him - drive him away. They don’t take people like that up and they don’t sing about people like that. | » |
— See epigraph |
- Christmas tree, video “Girl Student”. Two friends show each other the joy of meeting, but behind their backs they spit and make dissatisfied faces.
- Vintage video "Mama America". At the end of the video, the main character finds out that her husband is cheating on her with her old friend, who has been jealous of her since childhood.
- "Arrows": "At the Party" and "Thorns and Roses". In both songs, the main character's friend takes her boyfriend away from her.
- Maxim, “I won’t give it up.” The friend tries to take the heroine’s boyfriend away, but to no avail.
- Romance "Beggar":
« | What lavish praises the circle of her guests offered her! In times of happiness, everyone is friends with us; In times of sorrow, those friends are not there. | » |
— Music by A. Alyabyev, poetry by Beranger, translated by D. Lensky |
Internet[edit]
- One of the many statuses that could become an epigraph to the article if there weren’t already two of them: “It’s bad when there are no friends. It’s even worse when I thought there was.”
- 7 signs of a false friend.
- Numerous memes on the topic “and only the creditor (taxpayer, dependent, etc.) wants you to be rich, alive and well.”
[change] Friends and partners | ||
Roles of friends | Brothers in Arms • Alpha Bitch's Ex-Girlfriend • Enemy of My Enemy • High and Low • The Hero and His X • The Friend Nobody Loves • Pen Pal • Friends Without Interaction • Childhood Friends • Friends Forever • The Only One I Trust • Bosom Enemies • Frenemies • Like Brother and Sister • Companion Cube • Gay Best Friend • Muggle Best Friend • Big Brother Mentor • Foster Brothers • Not-So-Imaginary Friend • Friends Unlikely • They Aren't Gay • The Tomboy and the Lady • First Friend• Translator Character • Just a Friend • Broken Company • The Kid and the Monster • The Oddball's Caregiver • The Blind Man and the Monster • Deadly Loyal Friend • Dragonfly and Ant • Fat Best Friend (Fat and Thin) vs (Big, Tall and Short) • Tulpa • False friends • Black best friend • Sensitive guy and brutal man (knight and robber • tiger and jackal) | |
Roles of partners | Ballast (useless guy • stone on the neck) • Loyal servant • Partner (Disposable partner) • Non-combat comrade • Padawan • Weak in battle, but an excellent tactician | |
Friendship as it is | Friendship is strength • Friendship in adaptation • Animal friendship • Friendship forged in fire • Friendship between generations • Friendship begins with defeat • Friendship between the popular and not so popular • You can’t ruin friendship with sex • Romantic girl friendship • And you, Brutus? • Interspecies friendship • Monster and man - friendship forever • Tastes like friendship • Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship? • A couple of leftovers • A tragic friendship • What you won’t do for friendship • It’s hard to be a newbie | |
Related Topics | Group hugs • The girl chose a friend/The guy chose a girlfriend • Friend or gold? • Friend vs. Lover • Friendly Bath • Friendly Rivalry • Forgotten First Meeting • Bear Hug • One of My Friend.../Representative of Myself • Shade the Hero as Simple • Song of Friendship • Please Don't Leave Me • Symbol of Friendship • Interlocking Little Fingers • You Are Not Alone • I just want to have friends | |
see also | Romantic tropes and cliches • Gender issues | |
← | Role • Basics |
He enjoys your sadness
When you go through a difficult period in your life, a fake friend is right there. He is always ready to talk about your problem, asks a lot of questions - not at all in order to support. A toxic person enjoys your suffering. In addition, he needs leverage, which he will not hesitate to use to harm you.
A sworn friend will never do good deeds selflessly. You cannot trust such a person; sooner or later he will try to ruin your life, but first he will squeeze out all the possible benefits. If you recognize one of your friends in this description, try to end the relationship. It's essential for your happiness and mental health.
Contrast between real and fake friendship
It is difficult for a person to live in the moment and objectively assess situations. It's all about the aftertaste. If you experience a loss of strength after talking with a friend, it’s worth thinking about why this is happening. In most cases, this can be explained by the fact that you have to expend additional energy to maintain harmonious relationships.
A true friend is distinguished by his loyalty from other people around him. It charges with positive emotions and inspires success. He doesn't ask awkward questions and is ready to help, even if he wasn't asked for it. And he doesn’t need gratitude at all.
Intuition
Deep down you always know the truth. Trust your feelings. Remember how you feel when you return home after meeting a friend. If you look like a squeezed lemon, then this is an alarm bell. Most likely you are dealing with an unkind and envious person. He tries with all his might to prick you, put pressure on you, or simply brags about his achievements in order to “put you down”.
Do you communicate most often on social networks?
During quarantine, there was no opportunity to communicate with friends in person, and this turned out to be a problem. While we do rely on social media these days to stay connected, face-to-face communication has never been cancelled.
Friends we meet on the Internet can become true friends over time, but not all contacts are truly valuable. If your interaction began and remained at the level of simple comments or likes, then you should not call it friendship.
How to recognize fake friends?
Of course, we all think that all our friends are good friends until something bad happens, but if we knew how to spot fake friends, we could save our backs from a lot of stabbings. Although they may seem cute, many people pretend to be so professional that it is very difficult to tell them apart. Their acting would be the envy of Hollywood stars.
Have you ever been close to someone and told them all your secrets and then they just used you?
I know what I'm talking about, I had a lot of secrets and a lot of fake friends I told them to. Now it gives me a feeling that I don't want to experience again. Betrayal is not something we deal with well.
— Ruslan Shalimov, founder of the online magazine “Hard-Life”
If you want to know how to spot a fake friend, our team of psychologists have provided a small list below that will definitely help you. We all need to be on our guard. Friendship is something we all consider important, whether we want to admit it or not. Don't let other people take advantage of your kindness or gullibility.