How to stop doubting everything
“To be or not to be—that is the question. Is it worthy to endure the shame of fate without complaint? Or is it necessary to resist? Rise up, arm yourself, win. Or perish, die, fall asleep? - such doubts tormented Hamlet, the hero of Shakespeare's tragedy. The pangs of doubt when making a decision are familiar to everyone. And this, indeed, is the real torment that poisons our lives.
Doubting, we mentally play out different options for the development of events in one case or another, consult with friends and loved ones, spend an incredible amount of mental strength and energy, and in the end we feel devastation, which does not allow us to rejoice, even if the result meets our expectations. As the Italian writer Silvio Pellico wrote, “...whoever likes to delve into doubts deprives his soul of strength.”
A person who gives vent to doubts, as a result, generally loses the ability to make a decision, because it implies responsibility, which people who are always doubting try to avoid. They prefer not to express their opinion, refer to someone else’s, or avoid answering.
But telling yourself not to doubt and follow the advice “if you’re wondering whether to do it or not, it’s better not to do it” is also not a solution. The English writer Gilbert K. Chesterton ironically noted that “only materialists and madmen have no doubts.” And the Austrian diplomat S.-J. De Ligne said about this: “There are two kinds of fools: some doubt nothing, others doubt everything.”
There is another point of view on doubt, according to which it is a great shortcoming, weakness and even sin. Doubts serve as a brake on a person’s path to development and perfection. They speak of the weakness of his mind, incapable of adequate analysis, decision-making and implementation. “A mind that doubts is barren and ineffective”, “A person who doubts can be called a loser”, “Doubts deprive one of strength and take away vital energy”, “He is eaten by the worm of doubt” - such harsh statements accompany people prone to long thoughts and hesitations when solving life problems.
Doubts are conventionally divided into positive and negative. The presence of positive ones is understandable and justified. For example, we have the opportunity to open a pharmacy in our area, but we doubt it because there are already plenty of them here. An incorrect decision will lead to losses instead of the expected profit.
It’s another matter if our doubts are caused by lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. These are negative doubts, the result of which is the abandonment of plans, the opportunity to realize oneself, and perhaps even a better future. William Shakespeare called such doubts traitors because: “... they deprive us of the good that we might often gain.”
What is self-doubt?
First of all, it is the inability to adequately assess oneself and one’s strengths. Unconfident people may have a lot of knowledge and valuable information, but will be afraid to present it, believing that their skills and experience are not enough. Self-doubt can also be expressed in mild shyness or serious fears. For example, a person may experience panic attacks or even suffer from social anxiety.
According to many experts, the roots of any insecurity go deep into childhood. If a child received little praise and heard only criticism, the likelihood of developing self-doubt and, as a consequence, an inferiority complex is very high.
Don't take criticism and comments to heart
Think about how often you feel like a victim, how much you allow other people to influence your life. In a conversation, you may feel that you are being attacked, but in reality the interlocutor is only expressing his opinion. This point of view is a reflection of his own world and nothing more. Realize that the criticizing person is always talking not about you, but about his attitude towards your actions.
Why is self-doubt dangerous?
We can absolutely say that excessive shyness and complexities prevent people from living a full life. If, for example, you cannot present yourself in a favorable light in an interview, you are unlikely to be hired even if you have the necessary qualifications. And, of course, in personal life, self-doubt can play a cruel joke on a person. You may simply not dare to confess your feelings to your partner, and discord will occur in the relationship (you will find 6 reasons why you cannot build a relationship here).
Write down your thoughts on paper
Not all people have the opportunity to talk to someone about their problems. In this case, you can express thoughts and emotions on paper. Keep a diary, write down everything you feel and worry about. It is advisable to do this daily to develop a habit. In free form, it is recommended to list gratitude for what you already have, write down goals and obstacles that you have to face.
This method will help you clear your mind, establish a connection with yourself, and become aware of your own reactions to current events. By expressing your thoughts on paper every day, you will not allow them to “stagnate” in your consciousness and will not allow them to turn into negative ones. In addition, the diary will help you record and accept different emotional states and restore harmony with the world around you.
How to help yourself if you encounter such a problem?
The first and most important rule: stop comparing yourself to anyone. Remember that there are more than 7.7 billion people in the world, and each person is unique in their own way. You should not compare yourself with those who, in your opinion, look more beautiful or are more successful at work. Such comparisons will only lead to envy and further development of complexes. Of course, you can strive to become successful in some area like someone else. But should he imitate or copy his style?
The best strategy for dealing with self-doubt is to compare your present self with your past self. This analysis will help you see your personal growth and progress in the area you have been working on.
Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and always look for new opportunities. The comfort zone is a path to degradation, and a successful person needs constant growth. If you have a desire to become more confident in yourself, then it’s time to start fighting your fears. This doesn't mean you should immediately jump with a parachute if you are afraid of heights. You can start by walking through high-rise buildings, gradually rising higher. Also, you don’t have to rush to sign up for pick-up artist courses: you should start carefully getting acquainted with people of the opposite sex. For example, online dating will help if you are overcome by embarrassment.
Leaving your comfort zone does not mean taking extreme measures spontaneously and thoughtlessly. Such a step can only provoke additional stress, and this will definitely not be good for you. Start changing with small actions that are atypical for you. For example, walk instead of taking the bus, or plan out all your activities for the day if you haven't kept a diary before.
Also take up sports or dancing. Typically, athletes and people who carefully monitor their physical fitness are more confident. When playing sports, endorphin is released - a hormone that lifts your mood (a fitness trainer talks about the most common mistakes in fitness after 30 years here). A person becomes dependent on this hormone, wants to receive more of it, and physical activity easily becomes a habit. And as soon as a person sees the first results and changes in his body for the better, he always feels more confident. It is very important to recognize yourself, so even training at home will be important. In addition, when playing sports, endurance develops, immunity increases, and it’s just fun - in a good mood, all problems are solved faster and easier.
Be sure to remember that only those who do nothing make no mistakes. There are no ideal and flawless people! There is even a Latin proverb about this: “Errare humanum est”, which translated means: “To err is human.” You need to learn to perceive your mistakes not as mistakes, but as invaluable experience. Even from the most unpleasant event you can learn a useful lesson. It is important to learn to analyze your actions in order to know how to act next time. Read the biographies of successful and famous people - even they made mistakes on the way to their goals.
Love yourself! No advice will work until you love yourself. And the first step on this path is accepting yourself. You need to accept both your strengths and your shortcomings. Make a list of your positive sides and negative points and every morning or before going to bed, re-read the list of advantages to yourself, and during the day, consider one disadvantage and think about how you can correct it. Any disadvantage can be turned into an advantage if you carefully work on it. Self-love is also taking care of your physical and psychological well-being. Proper nutrition, regular physical activity, skin care - all these are the first and important steps towards self-acceptance. Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to believe in yourself and your strengths, but as soon as a person begins to try to change, he becomes more confident in himself. Such a person can move mountains on the way to his goal.
Sources of Doubt
Lack of experience
Often people who ask the question of how to get rid of self-doubt do not understand that the reason for their doubts about their own personality is only a small amount of knowledge. This problem often occurs among young people who are just starting an independent life. They don’t understand what will happen if they don’t take the usual path, if they’ve never done it before. But being guided only by other people’s knowledge is a bad idea, because experience, as they say, is “the son of difficult mistakes.”
Fear
The main answer to the question of how to learn to make decisions and stop doubting is to stop being afraid of the unknown. Everyone experiences the fear of an improvised “dark room”. But if you don’t go into it, you can miss many bright moments from your own life. Coping with fears is not easy. A person who is accustomed to being afraid will constantly stress himself out and think exclusively about the negative consequences of his decision. But a life lived in fear turns into existence.
Comments from “well-wishers”
Unfortunately, people like to get involved in other people's affairs, giving unsolicited advice and commenting on some actions. And not everyone is able to give a damn about someone else’s opinion and let another barb pass their ears. A person, having heard a simple “yes, you’re doing everything wrong,” begins to look for shortcomings in himself.
Instead of simply acting, he is engaged in soul-searching, immersed in complexes and uncertainty. I want to think about every action ten times, so as not to do the wrong thing again.
What rules can help when communicating with people?
If, even after raising your self-esteem, you still feel unsure when communicating with other people, try the following method. Start meeting more often with your closest friend, and then move on to communicating with less familiar people. Try to always be sincere and friendly, learn to clearly formulate your thoughts and voice them in the first person.
Also important is such a skill as the ability to politely refuse an interlocutor. At the same time, try to offer him alternative solutions to the issue. Analyze your speech and try to remove filler words. Learn to speak calmly and confidently, avoiding raised tones and displays of strong emotions.
When meeting strangers for the first time, choose a familiar place. Ask your interlocutor about his interests and review literature on this topic to make it easier to maintain a conversation. Also determine for yourself in which positions you are most comfortable communicating and learn to adopt them when communicating with your interlocutor.
And when speaking in front of a large audience, rehearse your speech and ask a friend to watch your performance and let him make his comments. Think about how you can correct the shortcomings. While speaking in front of an audience, look for the listener who is most attentive and sympathetic to you and express your thoughts as if only to him.
And always remember that you are a unique individual!
Effective Decision Making Techniques
Descartes square
One of the most effective tactics. You need to draw a square on a notebook sheet and answer all the questions. This allows you to evaluate the problem from all sides and understand the feasibility of one or another intention, as in the photo.
5 Whys
It is necessary to look at the problem and ask yourself the question “why”, for example, why was I fired. The answer is that it didn’t work well. Based on this, the next question is asked: why was I fired? And so repeat 5 iterations. It will allow you to sort out the problem.
How to get rid of obsessive-compulsive disorder?
There is no cure for obsessive-compulsive disorder. But the patient can significantly reduce the impact of symptoms on his life with the right treatment.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 1% of U.S. adults have suffered from OCD in the past year. Although most patients with OCD respond to treatment, some continue to experience symptoms [FDA, 2018].
Treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder includes medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, or a combination of both. Although most patients with OCD respond favorably to all of these treatments, some continue to experience symptoms after treatment.
Drug treatment
Psychiatric medications called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors help many people control their obsessions and compulsions. These medications help increase hormone levels in the brain [Cedars Sinai, 2021]. On average: it takes 2 to 4 months for the drugs to show their effectiveness.
If symptoms do not improve with these medications, some patients may respond well to antipsychotic medications [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
Sometimes children with obsessive-compulsive disorder may require antibiotics if the disorder is determined to be caused by a streptococcal infection [Cedars Sinai, 2021].
Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy can be an effective treatment for adults and children with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Research suggests that certain types of psychotherapies, including cognitive behavioral therapy and other related treatments (such as habit reversal training), can be as effective as medications for most patients.
Cognitive behavioral therapy helps change the way you think. In a form called exposure and response prevention, the clinician places the patient in a situation designed to produce anxiety or compulsions. The patient, in turn, learns to reduce and then prevent his thoughts or repetitive actions [WebMD, 2020]. Cognitive methods are excellent at helping a person identify, understand and overcome their fears.
Neuromodulation
One type of neuromodulation, transcranial magnetic stimulation, uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells. A more complex procedure, deep brain stimulation, involves implanting electrodes into the head [WebMD, 2020].
The US Food and Drug Administration has approved the marketing of a deep transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) system for the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder [FDA, 2018].
A TMS machine is a non-invasive device that is held above the patient's head to create a magnetic field. It targets a specific part of the brain that regulates symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
“Transcranial magnetic stimulation has shown potential to help patients suffering from depression and headaches,” said Carlos Peña, Ph.D., M.S., director of the Division of Neurological and Physical Medical Devices at FDA's Center for Devices and Radiological Health. US medicines. “Patients with OCD who have not responded to traditional treatments now have another treatment option” [FDA, 2018].
The agency analyzed data from a randomized, multicenter trial of 100 patients, 49 of whom were treated with a TMS device and 51 with a non-functioning (sham) device. Patients already receiving drug treatment for OCD maintained their current dosages throughout the study [FDA, 2018].
The experiment assessed patients' symptom reduction on the Yale-Brown Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Scale, a common measure of OCD severity. The results showed that 38% of people responded to TMS therapy, while 11% responded to the use of a sham device.
The most common adverse reaction was headache, reported by 37.5% of patients receiving transcranial magnetic stimulation and 35.3% of patients receiving sham treatment. There have been no serious adverse reactions associated with TMS use. Other adverse reactions such as pain, discomfort, cramping, or twitching were mild or moderate and resolved soon after treatment [FDA, 2018].
As with most mental disorders, treatment for OCD is usually individualized and may begin with medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both. For many patients, working with a mental health professional is an adjunctive treatment or is used when medications are not effective [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
Today, research is being conducted on new approaches to treating people whose obsessive-compulsive disorder is difficult to treat with conventional methods. These approaches include combined and complementary (increased in number and strength) procedures, as well as new methods such as deep brain stimulation [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
It's also worth noting that simple things like meditation, yoga, and massage can help with the stress symptoms of OCD.
Causes of obsessive-compulsive disorder and risk factors
Psychiatrists have still not come to a consensus on why people develop obsessive-compulsive disorder. But, despite the fact that the reasons for its appearance are unknown, there are several main risk factors that can, to a certain extent, influence its formation.
Genetics
Twin and family studies have shown that people who have a first-degree relative with obsessive-compulsive disorder are at higher risk of developing and developing obsessive-compulsive disorder [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
Brain structure and functioning
Imaging studies have shown differences in the frontal cortex and subcortical brain structures in patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder. There appears to be a link between OCD symptoms and abnormalities in certain areas of the brain, but the link is not yet clear.
According to some neuroscientists, people with obsessive-compulsive disorder do not have enough of a chemical called serotonin in their brains [Cedars Sinai, 2021]. Research is still ongoing, and understanding the causes will help identify specific, individualized treatments for the disorder [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
Wednesday
Some studies have reported a link between the environment in which a person grew up and the occurrence of obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms. There are suggestions about the influence of psychological trauma received in childhood on the formation of neurosis. However, more research is needed to better understand this relationship [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
In some cases, children may develop OCD symptoms after a streptococcal infection. This is called pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcal infections [National Institute of Mental Health, 2021].
