Home page » Phraseologisms » The meaning of the phraseological unit “pull yourself together”
Author: Maria Znobishcheva
Philologist, candidate of philological sciences, poet, member of the Union of Writers of Russia. Publication date:09/15/2021
How can you pull yourself together? Sit hugging your knees? Or grab your own shoulders tightly, folding your arms crosswise on your chest? Try to cope with this task - and, if you are not a yogi, you will have many clarifying questions. Let’s find out who came up with this expression and why right now.
Expression value
The idiom “pull yourself together” means “calm down, take control of the situation.” During trials, people behave differently: some “turn on their heads” and clearly, step by step, get out of the labyrinths of life, overcoming the obstacles that arise, others panic, scream, complain, making others sad.
The call to pull yourself together in this case implies that there is no need to shift responsibility for the situation to those around you. Any issues that arise must be resolved independently.
For example, a wife, having received a scolding from her superiors, makes a scene for her husband, complaining that she is forced to work at all. They say that he earns little and does not know how to support, and she does the housework, with the children, and in the office.
The husband invites his beloved to pull herself together and not splash out negativity on him. True, such arguments do not have a calming effect on women, but irritate them.
How to gather strength and pull yourself together
What situations lead to loss of self-control and how to cope with them.
If you lose your job
Losing a job is a difficult life situation that does not help improve your mood. It is necessary to pull yourself together and “turn off” panic, because fear is a source of severe stress that negatively affects well-being. Stress provokes the emergence of serious diseases, leading to chronic fatigue, depression, and irritability. Consequence: damaged relationships with friends and relatives. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will end up with a lot of problems or end up in the hospital.
Realize that this period is difficult, but it is precisely such periods that often become the beginning of something new and large-scale. People who lost their jobs usually already had some kind of problems that provoked dismissal and thought in advance about “backup” options. Is this not your case? Then think now about what you could do and what opportunities open up for you. Don’t sit still - look for your dream job, fate has given you a chance to improve your life.
If a loved one has passed away
Everyone experiences the death of a loved one or divorce differently. Some, having survived the funeral of a husband, relative or friend, got rid of any objects and photos reminiscent of the event. Time passed and regret set in. If we are talking about death, it is not recommended to abruptly break ties with the dear past. Keeping everything the same means maintaining the illusion that the past is unchangeable. It is better to distribute the things of the deceased in accordance with Christian tradition, so that more people remember him. Keep the most memorable items, often in the use of a dearly departed person. Does their sight cause pain? Hide them. The time will come, and you will warmly sort through the saved things.
During a divorce, it is not easy to pull yourself together, especially when there are many reminders of marriage. Don’t poison your soul - get rid of your wife’s (husband’s) things - give them or her (his) ex-half to relatives and friends. Don't create the illusion that things will make your partner come back - you'll only frustrate yourself. By clearing the space of its things and energy, you begin a new life.
If you have suffered financial failure
A difficult test, accompanied by a feeling of powerlessness and disappointment. It seems that there is no way out, and the person begins to self-flagellate. How to pull yourself together? Understand the causes of what happened and begin to eradicate them.
The moment is difficult and the hackneyed phrase “Everything that is done is for the better” looks banal and mockery. But you can’t plunge into depression - act, get out of the financial crisis. There is no other way out.
Don’t ask meaningless questions: “Why me?”, “Why are others luckier?” etc. Throw away these lyrics and accept the fact: our problems are the fruits of our mistakes. This means that the time has come to learn a hard lesson, correct mistakes and shortcomings, and gain benefit and experience from it. Start again on the path to success, taking into account past mistakes.
If you have a terminal illness
The diagnosis was confirmed by different doctors, so there can be no mistake? Then the shock stage is inevitable. It lasts the first hours after the announcement of the news or even days. Outwardly, a person does not change (emotionally), but the process of panic is inevitable. The patient rushes about, the psyche develops a “denial” reflex, the mention of the diagnosis causes rejection and anger.
You need to pull yourself together: do not deny the obvious, educate yourself, collecting all the information about the disease. Have you become familiar with the disease? Meet people with a similar diagnosis. Research shows that routine communication between patients enhances the effectiveness of treatment. Do not burn the necessary energy into suffering and indignation - direct it in the right direction. Don’t be angry with those who help you, with those who are healthy. Tibetan sages recommend directing negative emotions towards the disease (“those who truly hate the disease will defeat it”).
Realize that many people live with a similar illness and adapt to it. Look among celebrities and ordinary people for examples of happy recoveries or other victories over the disease.
If you suffer from addiction
Negative habits (craving for alcohol, drugs) have a detrimental effect on the nervous system and psyche: pull yourself together! A person who abuses alcohol and drugs not only becomes aggressive and irritable, but also suffers from memory loss unnoticed. Gradually the situation worsens, leading to death.
Alcohol, even in small doses, slows down the speed of mental reactions and affects coordination of movements. According to statistics, most crimes are committed under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When consumed regularly, ethanol leads to serious mental disorders.
The fight against addiction is possible with awareness of the problem. Does the person not recognize the addiction? The treatment will have a short-term effect. Many people believe that they will quit drinking at any moment, and this is a misconception.
Sometimes you need to pull yourself together for the sake of your loved ones - growing children, family, wards. A drinking person does not realize the scale of damage caused to others. Inner determination and awareness of the problem is the only way to fight.
You cannot enter the “working” state
In order to enter a “working” state, you first need to get out of what is. To do this, the body needs to be thoroughly “shake”—physically shaken. There are quite a lot of methods for such a shake-up: contrast shower, exercise (any feasible physical exercise), jogging, just a walk in the fresh air, etc. There is a rule: “The best rest is a change of activity.”
Other harmful factors
These include any stress. Feel like you're losing control? Simple and effective advice: go out into the fresh air - it is necessary for a weakened or stressed body and brain. The ability to think and analyze will become dull without a new portion of oxygen - “breathe” properly, and the situation will improve, your thoughts will “clear up.”
Origin of phraseology
Most idiomatic expressions in which the word “hand” is present are associated with activity (“work tirelessly,” “if you don’t stretch out your hand, you can’t get it from the shelf”), but among them there are also phraseological units that describe control over the situation. The expressions “completely out of control” and “pull yourself together” are just such idioms.
The metaphor is built on an objective image. When we pick up a thing, we can be sure that it will not go anywhere, we dispose of it as we see fit.
If we imagine that we perceive ourselves as certain objects, control over which must be exercised in stressful situations, the expression becomes quite understandable.
Originally Russian in origin, the phraseological unit has analogues in many languages, which proves the similarity in the way of thinking of people around the world.
Helpful tips to calm down and come to your senses
Effective ways to pull yourself together and put your thoughts in order.
Breathing practices
Breathing has a huge impact on health and mood. Have you noticed that your breathing changes depending on your emotional state? To calm down, you need to take control of it. Do this - the tension will disappear or weaken. Perform the practices regularly, the nervous system will return to normal.
We practice deep breathing: your back is straight, your shoulders are straightened, you take a deep breath and exhale slowly (it should be longer than your inhalation). After exhaling, there is a short pause.
We use an element from yoga: the “kapalabhati” breathing technique. The emphasis is on exhalation. Study information on this and many other techniques - this will help calm the nervous system. You shouldn’t get carried away with practices if they are new – use them at especially peak moments.
Choose the “right” mood
To pull yourself together, you need the right attitude - without it, all methods are ineffective. Look at life philosophically, calm your nerves with simple but effective attitudes: “This too will pass,” “I’m letting go of the situation, let it be as it should,” “Everything will work out,” “I have a backup plan,” “I’m calm.”
Find in your mind the most suitable phrase that really helps you calm down. This certainly exists! Do you adhere to a certain belief system, philosophical views, religion?
It will be even easier to find the answers you need, here they are:
- Relax
. A good option: taking a bath, shower. Interacting with water will calm your nerves and get rid of negative energy. Put your thoughts in order - a warm shower helps with this (especially before bed). Wash away the hardships of the past day. Forget for a while about dousing and contrast showers - they have a stimulating effect on the nervous system. Accompany the procedure with aromatherapy and pleasant music - disconnect from everything and surrender to relaxation. - Create comfortable sleeping conditions
. It’s difficult to stay positive in an irritating environment. Take care of a comfortable place to sleep: soft twilight, fresh bed linen, comfortable sleepwear, a clean room, tea with herbs. Adequate rest will help keep your nerves in order.
- Don't forget to take care of yourself
. Do you feel a lack of strength, emotional burnout on the way? Forget about disturbing topics for a while, stop thinking about control for a while, focus solely on yourself. This is not about salons, restaurants or discos (although this is not prohibited), but about a psychological trick and a gift to the nervous system: allow yourself to forget about annoying questions for at least a few hours, switch.
Are the stresses on the nervous system too much? Is it increasingly difficult to cope with stress? A complete reboot is required! Find an opportunity to go on vacation or just relax for a week alone at the dacha, in an empty apartment, with your loved one. You need time to rethink life and current problems. It is possible that many difficulties are not worth solving - they can and should simply be excluded from your life.
Other phraseological units
White crow
A person who is sharply different in some way from his environment.
Seven Fridays a week
Impermanence and changeability of man.
No doubt about anything
Without any doubt.
As per the spirit
Express your thoughts and feelings honestly, sincerely, without hiding, from the bottom of your heart.
All phraseological units
A book from the authors of this article!
Collection: “100 popular phraseological units of the Russian language”
More details
Morality
There are, of course, cases when a person must disregard caution and go to great lengths. But basically the lesson that phraseology teaches people is universal. The mind should control feelings not because it is better, but because, obeying feelings, a person does all sorts of things that he later greatly regrets. And if you keep your head cool and give yourself the trouble to think, you can avoid trouble, the main thing is not to make decisions rashly.
Palette of meanings
“Pull yourself together”: the meaning of the phraseological unit comes down to regaining control over oneself. Moreover, the expression is quite universal.
For example, some event happens to a person that unsettles him and throws him out of balance. But he can’t lose his head and get upset. And a person close to him (a distant person will not say this) says: “Well, pull yourself together, you shouldn’t become limp now.”
There is another possible meaning. Let's imagine a schoolchild or student who has seriously neglected his studies. And in order to rectify the situation, he should pull himself together (the meaning of the phraseological unit is discussed a little higher), that is, stop wasting time on nonsense, and gather all his strength and will into a fist and, as V.I. bequeathed. Lenin, study, study and study again. The student’s personal sense of self in this case does not play a special role, whether he considers himself a “nerd” or not, such a moment has simply come, such a time.
"Tactical" breathing
Another technique from cats, called “tactical” breathing. This technique can be used in intense, stressful situations to help you focus.
In fact, it is very similar to “box” breathing - so much so that in some Combat Tactical Breathing manuals for US Navy sailors these techniques are not distinguished. But Devine prefers to talk about them as two different techniques.
The difference between box breathing and tactical breathing is that in the latter there is no delay between inhalation and exhalation. And you don’t need to imagine the box—it’s enough to count in your head.
- Inhale through your nostrils for four counts.
- Exhale through your nostrils in four counts.
Repeat until you calm down. If you wish, you can exhale through your mouth, but do not inhale. And don't forget to count to yourself.
By the way, research on A mind you can count on: validating breath counting as a behavioral measure of mindfulness says that using breathing techniques improves mood and concentration when repeated regularly. So you can use “tactical” breathing not only in stressful situations, but also just whenever you want.
Take note
