No one is immune from stressful situations, and when emotions begin to get out of control, the question arises: “How to pull yourself together and calm down?” We offer several simple recommendations that can help out in almost any difficult situation when concentration and endurance are required. So, let's look at some stressful situations and ways to control emotions.
What's stopping you from starting a new life?
Weak or no motivation
The desire for life changes is not enough without an understanding of why they are needed. When a person clearly understands why he needs changes, then he has the motivation to start them. Therefore, the beginning of a new life begins with understanding why you need it.
To start from scratch, you need to get rid of the unsuccessful, negative experiences of the past. This will prevent you from carrying over old habits into your new life.
Own selfishness
It can weaken our desire to change something in our existence. Selfishness views any change as a threat to its usual comfort. The brain desires changes and wants to start a new life, but the body fights for its usual comfort.
The body and senses quickly tell us that we get more immediate pleasure from old habits or lifestyles than from changes and life changes. It is much more pleasant to lie on the bed, pressing buttons on the TV remote control, than to sweat in the gym. Junk food is much more satisfying than broccoli or carrots.
High expectations and tight deadlines
Due to the transience of life, we want a lot at once. When, after a month of our efforts, there is no visible progress or result from the changes we have begun, then the desire to live in a new way disappears.
Therefore, it is better to start changes with simple goals. For example, lose two kilograms, eat more vegetables for dinner rather than meat. Start with a kilometer run, not a 10 kilometer race. Read 5-10 pages of educational literature on self-development every day, rather than spending time on the Internet.
Simple goals are much easier to achieve, and they also imperceptibly change your old life into a new one.
Conclusion: Change is quite real, but the path to it begins with many small steps.
Doubts, disbelief
The brain is capable of programming a person for negative things by visualizing his doubts. Therefore, the psyche of a person who decides to start his life’s journey from scratch must receive a specific task. This will help her understand in which direction she should move.
Fear of change
Fear holds us back from making changes in our lives, insidiously masquerading as the voice of reason. Whispering every day: “And if I don’t succeed, what will others say? What if I can't do it? It didn’t work out for others, and it’s unlikely that it will work out for me. It's too difficult." But by giving in to fear, we tightly close the door to the changes we dream about.
Excuses
The most common excuse people come up with to delay or avoid new endeavors is “I don’t have the time or energy.” It’s better to say honestly: “I’m too lazy to change anything in my lifestyle. I’m too lazy to leave my usual comfort zone, so I justify myself by the lack of time.” This recognition is more accurate, sincere, and also saves you from mental suffering.
Conclusion
The greatest irony of life is that most of us, only in the face of our own death, fully understand how we should have lived
Five minutes before the end, we will understand what was really important and what is completely irrelevant
But why wait for a magical kick to start your new life at 30, 40, 50 years old, when now you can correct old mistakes by starting all over again. After reading the article, you know how to start a new life and change yourself. Therefore, it's time to start focusing on hard work rather than the suffering you endure.
Let your key word be “try.” Never stop trying to make changes in your life to become a better, happier person.
One wise man said: “The best time to plant trees was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
We recommend seeing how Diana Milkanova managed to radically change her life.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GcnIxhKRUKY
Celebrate your victories
Many of us have been taught since childhood that it is indecent to boast about our achievements, and in general we could do everything better. Got a B in a difficult subject? Why not "five"? Took second place in the Olympics? Could have been the first one. Of course, those close to me were guided by good intentions and tried to inspire achievements, but this only discouraged me.
Therefore, do not skimp on kind words addressed to you.
Be sure to focus on even the smallest victories, celebrate your achievements and reach the next level. Well done, you can do it.
Give new meaning to boring activities
I admit that losing excess weight is a rather boring task. You need to pull yourself together to lose weight - cook the right food, walk with a pedometer, lay out a mat and take out dumbbells. And so on day after day. No days off or vacation
Therefore, it was important for me to learn to enjoy the process. I'm not just working on my abs, sweating profusely - I'm on my way to my new slender figure, to the ability to easily run up the stairs and get out of a deep chair on the first try
I liked the sculptor’s image: I cut off the unnecessary – everything that hides the real me. This picture was exactly what made me add 5 sit-ups and 5 seconds of planks every day. She made steamed chicken breast and vegetable soup appetizing, and took me out for a walk in any weather with a pedometer.
Allow yourself to be happy and free!
How to stop being nervous
Some people are so used to worrying that it has become a part of life, they don’t think about how to stop being nervous. Any event causes an experience. Doubts surround you before every step. People cannot enjoy the current moment, they look back, they are afraid of the future. But it has not yet arrived, and the past can never be returned. Most experiences that lead to stress remain meaningless. They do not allow themselves to devote themselves to real life, which passes by among fears.
You cannot force a person to stop being nervous; you need to eliminate the cause of anxiety. Having realized the meaninglessness of his thoughts, he himself will want to change.
The influence of others' opinions
The views of others are subjective, based on personal experience and tastes. You shouldn’t rely on other people’s opinions or take them to heart.
Important! It's impossible to please everyone. You need to learn to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.
There is no need to change anything, each person is unique in the combination of qualities and skills
If you pay attention to other people's opinions, individuality fades, self-esteem falls due to the inability to make a choice. Life with an eye on others becomes restless, loses joy, and is filled with anxiety.
Worries over trifles
The solution to the problem of how to learn not to get nervous over trifles and to always be calm is relevant at any time. The tendency to make mountains out of molehills makes the person himself and his family suffer. This ability spoils relationships with loved ones. You need to take a philosophical approach to what is happening, look from the outside. The main thing is to be able to accept the situation as a fait accompli, which cannot be changed. You need to change your attitude towards her, look for positive aspects
Don’t worry about little things, focusing on them
Fighting Fears
People's lives are filled with fears that appeared in childhood and haunt them constantly. A small child is afraid of new things; the feeling arises as a defensive reaction. Already in adulthood, any unknown event continues to frighten, frightening what may never happen. People are afraid of accidents, diseases, robberies, attacks. This is a useless feeling in everyday life, it is designed to protect a person in a moment of real danger. In its absence, it weakens the nervous system. Constant fears force you to hide and prevent you from realizing your dreams.
Man and his fears
You need to imagine your fear separately, feel it, look it in the eyes. Awareness of it will help you understand how to calm down and not be nervous. The main thing is to determine what it is, to assess what will happen if a dangerous event occurs.
There is no need to be afraid of the unknown. When preparing for an event, you need to study possible outcome options in advance. Full possession of information will give you confidence, will give you the opportunity to make decisions on your own, and as a result will relieve you of worries.
Distraction from worries
If the situation requires immediate calm, you can distract yourself: allow yourself to look at the problem from the outside, concentrate on the surrounding details
During the interview, you can shift attention to the features of the renovation of the premises, creating a relaxed atmosphere
In moments that do not require strong concentration, it is better to remember a funny incident from life. Completely immerse yourself in thought, remembering. They should be pleasant and make you smile.
An audiobook that can be used anywhere: in transport, on a walk, during lunch will help you take your mind off your worries.
Ways to calm down
A glass of water will help you quickly calm down and stop being nervous. You need to drink it slowly, in small sips. Water has the ability to quickly calm you down; you can open the tap, listen to the noise, and wash your hands. If possible, take a shower or bath.
Calm, measured breathing will reduce the intensity of emotions, allow a person to come to his senses and worry less.
Woman meditating
Physical activity will help you calm down. You can go for a run, clean the house, or walk. Even dancing can relieve severe nervous tension.
Keep your ideas to yourself
Have you decided to run a marathon, write a book, or become a blood donor? At such moments, we are overwhelmed with emotions, and we want to share our plans with the whole world: write a post on social networks, collect a bunch of likes and receive words of support. Yes, you are guaranteed attention, but it can backfire.
A positive response makes the brain think that the job has already been done, which means there is no need to strain. Motivation will fade away, and most likely you will quickly abandon your endeavors. Don't relax, work and share results, not ephemeral projects.
Sergei Karnaukhov:
“I am often praised, but I don’t understand why - after all, not even half of what was planned has been done! People encourage and support from the bottom of their hearts, but sometimes it leads you astray: you become confident that you have already achieved a lot. It gets in the way if you’re very self-critical and have high goals.”
How to pull yourself together and start
If we do not take into account deep psychological experiences or worries, angry states (which will be discussed later), then usually it is necessary to gather courage for something specific, i.e. for a specific endeavor in your own life:
- Physical endeavors - start losing weight, exercise, eat right, or even seek treatment from a doctor;
- Psychological – a decision to change one’s own life for the better, to take steps towards reconciliation;
- Goal goals – start setting goals for yourself, stop being afraid of failures, act towards your goal/dream;
- Externally implementable - start training to find a new job, change your field of activity;
- Internally deep - to begin the path to self-development, self-knowledge, spiritual growth;
- Intellectual – endeavors in the field of mental development and self-education.
Set clear goals
The beginning of action in any of its manifestations is clear and competent planning. Without seeing the end of the path, it is impossible to see the road. Don't be lazy at the very beginning of your path to success.
- Be sure to set goals and write them down somewhere. On paper, in an organizer in your gadgets, anywhere. Visualize, draw a diagram, draw a wall, draw all possible ways of developing the situation, perhaps a new one will be found. This is how any business begins, start right now!
- Break big goals into smaller ones and constantly triple your review.
- Remember that goals must be clear and measurable in time (I want to find a new job in 3 months, I want to lose 5 kg in a month, etc.).
Talk to strangers
Sometimes a person falls into a trap and is unable to see the way out of the endless labyrinth of thoughts. In this case, it may be useful to hear an outside opinion. Looking from a different perspective can cast the “unsolvable” problem you're facing in a whole new light and provide a simple solution that you've been stubbornly overlooking.
Our whole life proves over and over again that the ability to act is no less important than the ability to think. Your actions bring concrete results, endless thinking often gives nothing but headaches
Maybe stop thinking too much and it’s time to start fulfilling your intentions? How do you think?
The whole world is around, not in one person - take a break
Watch a sad movie to repeat point 4. Watch a movie with a high IMDb rating, preferably one with a complex and unpredictable plot, so that the picture will absorb you for a while. Watch “500 Days of Summer,” especially listening to the words of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character's sister. Watch “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” super carefully, because everyone trusts Jim Carrey, he definitely wants the best for you. It seems that it’s time to watch the movie “Her”.
We will even restore the “Poster” section on bit.ua so that you know what worthwhile things you need to distract from sad thoughts. Invite your friends to theatres, bars, cinemas and you won’t notice how separation will positively affect you. Give your friends $100 for every time you think about your ex. You will realize that ending a relationship is costly, and you will give it up.
How to pull yourself together and gain confidence and strength?
To take action, you need strength. But where can I get them? A person often surrounds himself with factors that deprive him of inspiration and motivation. You can pull yourself together very easily if you follow some rules that also help you gain confidence and strength:
- Refuse to communicate with people who do not believe in you, insult and humiliate you. It is better to communicate only with those who inspire you and believe in your abilities.
- Learn relaxation techniques. These methods should be such that you don’t want to change them later. It’s better to immediately learn what you need and want to have.
- Realize why you need what you are striving for. Just “want” and “need” don’t work. Understand what meaning you put into your desire. Why do you need this and not something else?
Visualize the future you want every day. Make it your norm at the level of perception. Provide more details to understand what else you need to do. And don’t forget to rejoice - although this will happen to you if you imagine what you really want.
To achieve your goal, you need energy. But a person often lacks it, which is why he does nothing and, accordingly, does not achieve the result that stands before him. Where do you get the energy to take action? After all, you want to achieve the goals that are set for you.
You need to remember the following: energy is taken when you want to achieve something. A clearly defined goal and your personal desire to achieve it gives you the strength to complete all the actions that are required of you. Energy is not produced or taken from anywhere in particular, it simply appears at the moment when you have a strong desire to achieve something.
Remember those situations when you really wanted something. At such moments, do you ask yourself where to get energy from? No. It already appears to you along with desire. Think back to those times when inspiration arose. At those moments, you also did not ask questions about where to get the energy to take action, since it was already seething within you.
Another secret of energy is a clear understanding that your actions help achieve the desired results. You can also remember such situations from your life. When you noticed that everything was working out for you, you were moving towards your goal, then even more energy appeared. And vice versa: when you saw that something was not working out for you, that your efforts were not giving the desired result, then your strength gradually went away.
Energy is not generated or taken, it appears along with a strong desire or inspiration to achieve something. And when everything works out, it increases even more. You are happy and glad that you have a specific goal that you can achieve and become a more satisfied person as a result.
Three types of mentors
Straight. Someone ahead of you who will show you how they got there. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors are not like Jackie Chan’s character in the movie “The Karate Kid.” Most mentors will hate you.
Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of your instruction from books and other materials. 200–500 books equals a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I don’t know what to answer them. There are 200-500 good books worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.
Anything can be a mentor. If you are a nobody and want to reinvent yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you connect the dots together. And everything you look at will “connect the dots.”
Causes of apathy and inaction
If everything is not going well in life, this may be due to ordinary laziness, which does not allow you to take a step forward and change your idea of the past, present and future. Why do people condemn themselves to inaction, stop enjoying what is happening, and “close” their eyes to all the delights of life?
Psychologists identify several key reasons: why laziness occurs, what factors influence its appearance?
- In the absence of motivation and perspective in life. But is this really so, or do you just not want to do anything, and therefore there is no desire to change something (at school, work, in personal relationships), to get rid of the subconscious resistance of this feeling.
- Or maybe it’s all about undeveloped will, when it’s difficult to force yourself to do something, start a new project or change life attitudes based on fear or a negative past.
- Lack of responsibility when it is possible to shift all matters to someone else without thinking about the consequences.
- For some, laziness is a true pleasure, when a person really gets pleasure from inaction, which over time can develop into a serious psychological problem when the work of a specialist is required to restore vital functions.
- Irresponsibility, such laziness can be sinned by men who were spoiled in childhood.
- In exceptional cases, laziness is a protective function, when the body is overloaded and really needs rest.
If you have found your reason for laziness, now is the time to figure out how to stop being lazy and start acting, change your life for the better, achieve success and improve many areas of your life.
What do psychologists say about laziness?
Laziness prevents you from achieving your goals, performing certain actions, analyzing the situation, and changing your life for the better. This is one of the genetic natural valves that restrains the irrepressible human ambition and ambition.
The purpose of laziness is to save energy resources and limit excess activity. It is based on instincts programmed at the DNA level, which are difficult to control without skills, willpower and perseverance.
Keeping up with everything, coping with life’s failures, moving forward and being on top is an excellent opportunity to control bouts of laziness, overcome the natural principle and stop being inactive.
You need to look for the truth in the golden mean, not exhaust yourself completely, and then feel tired and apathetic, but be able to hear the unconscious voice that will take care of you and maintain your health at the proper level.
Each person is allotted a certain number of years to live, so why spend days in inactivity, dooming yourself to poverty, destroying your health and psyche. You need to “make friends” with laziness, perceive it as an assistant who can tell you what to do when and with whom.
WATCH THE VIDEO: 5 WAYS TO OVERCOME LAZINESS | PSYCHOLOGY OF REALITY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgTWXUgDf6QVideo can't be loaded because JavaScript is disabled: 5 WAYS TO OVERCOME LAZINESS | PSYCHOLOGY OF REALITY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgTWXUgDf6Q)
Video
Good video, I recommend watching it, many examples and situations are discussed here.
The most important thing is to seize the moment and start achieving. We are hindered by fears, laziness and existing stereotypes - throw them away. We are all afraid of making mistakes, but any mistake is a life experience. As we gain experience, we become stronger. Don’t be afraid of action, be active and you will achieve everything you want. Don't forget to smile while doing this! Good luck, friends! And yes, it’s better to start right now. Action is your main credo from now on!
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Rule 3-3-3
This method is suggested by How to Stop Feeling Anxious Right Now by psychologist Tamar Chansky from the Pennsylvania Association for Behavioral Therapy. If you're feeling really nervous, do the following.
- Look around you and mentally name three things you see around you. For example: “Table, flower, chair.”
- Listen and name three sounds you hear. “Birds screaming, beeping, creaking.”
- Move three different parts of your body. For example, with your right foot, left hand and any finger.
When performing the exercise, you should stand straight with your shoulders back. According to Chansky, when we are in a stressful situation, we instinctively hunch over, protecting the chest with the heart and lungs. By standing or sitting straight, spreading your legs shoulder-width apart and opening your chest, you will give your body a signal that it is out of danger.
Chewing gum
It may seem quite strange, but chewing gum helps keep your mind clear in stressful situations. Thus, one study of Chewing gum and stress reduction from psychologists at Cardiff University in Wales showed that subjects who were forced to chew gum at work experienced improved mood and a decrease in tension and anxiety. In addition, their symptoms of depression decreased.
By the way, Navy SEALs and sailors in the US Navy also chew gum. Only special, military ones. They add caffeine and other stimulants to make the fighter stay alert longer even with a lack of sleep.
An earlier study by Chewing gum alleviates negative mood and reduces cortisol during acute laboratory psychological stress by Swinburne University specialists from Australia also showed similar results: people who chew gum are less sensitive to irritation.
Scientists aren't sure what causes this, but they speculate that chewing causes an increase in blood flow to the brain, which in turn somehow helps the body regulate cortisol levels.
"Box" breathing
Mark Devine, former Navy SEAL commander, New York Times bestselling author of SEAL Leadership School, and founder of the SEALFIT SEALFIT training program, shared a couple of tricks that special forces use to quickly gain control of themselves in a stressful situation. . One of them is the so-called “box breathing”, or 4-4-4-4 breathing.
This is How To De‑Stress In 5 Minutes Or Less, According To A Navy SEAL the essence of this technique. When you feel nervous, you should imagine a box with four equal sides. Next, do this:
- Inhale slowly, imagining that you are moving up the side of the box, counting from one to four.
- Then hold your breath for another four counts and move along the top side of the box.
- Then exhale for a count of four and move down the other side.
- Finally, hold your breath again for four counts and walk along the underside of the box.
Repeat until you calm down - this will take about 5 minutes. This technique is taught to SEAL and Special Ops candidates as part of the Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL and US Air Force Pararescue training programs. Ideally, this should be done while sitting or even lying down, but it can also be done standing - it all depends on the situation.
If you don't have the strength to hold your breath for 4 counts, you can shorten the pattern to 2-2-2-2 or 3-3-3-3. You can also use a 5-5-5-5 pattern if you wish, or a 6-6-6-6 pattern if you want to take even deeper breaths. "Long delays don't make sense unless you're a submarine hunter or a SEAL," Devine says.
By the way, special applications, such as BreathAir, will help you try “box” breathing. It is unlikely that Navy SEALs have the opportunity to use it directly on the battlefield. But in a peaceful situation it can be useful.
appbox fallback https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=pl.orbitemobile.breathair&hl=ru&gl=ru
What should be done
Many people set goals for themselves, make plans for their lives, and want to achieve some great results. But they don’t know and don’t understand what needs to be done in order to start acting now.
Don’t put it off until tomorrow, the beginning of a new week, the beginning of a new month, the beginning of a new year. I'm sure most people have made the decision to lose weight, start running, study well, grow a business, and so on.
And they said to themselves: “That’s it, I’ll start running on Monday; from the beginning of the month I begin to study well; From the new year I begin to persistently develop my business and so on.” But Monday came, a new month, a new year and nothing happened! People have been inactive and are still inactive.
And so the plans remain at the planning level, and the person continues to come up with excuses for himself, looking for extreme excuses for the fact that he never began to act.
It is you who create the world in which you are now. What you get is the result of your past actions or lack of actions. You get what you have because you did what you did.
There is no need to look for excuses, there is no need to look for extreme ones in that you cannot take action and change your life. Until you start taking action, no amount of planning, thought power, visualization, affirmations, etc. will help you.
This article describes the most effective way to start acting today, right now, and not put off achieving your goals.
After all, there is only one life and you need to do a lot, but there is not so much time. Don’t waste your time, so that in old age you won’t feel painfully because of the years you spent meaninglessly.
Bottom line
What would you do if something that once belonged to you was taken away from you? Most likely, you would make every effort to get it back. Then why don't you do the same when you want to possess something? Why do your desires remain desires, although you may simply begin to act as if you need to return what once belonged to you?
Just take what's yours. If you want to have something, possess something, achieve something, then start behaving as if you already had it all, just someone took it away from you. Take back what should be yours, even if you never owned it. It is the very understanding that you need to return your thing, feeling, person, that makes you act as if you are confident that you are doing the right thing.
While you just want to achieve something, you have a lot of doubts and excuses why you can do nothing to achieve what you want. But as soon as you begin to think as if you need not to gain, but to return what should belong to you, then you begin to behave accordingly. You no longer think about what you need to do to achieve your desired goal, but think differently: what do you need to do to get back what should belong to you? Now you no longer have doubts or worries about whether you should fight for what you want to achieve. You are already sure that you need to have your goal, you just need to act to achieve what you want, and not doubt anything. You must not gain, but return what you want to have!
Why is it important
An interesting observation: Overthinking involves incessant worrying. This approach seems to prevent a person from moving forward. Why? Because he constantly thinks about the past. This is human psychology. For example, his thoughts might revolve around the following: “I shouldn't have said those things in the meeting yesterday. Everyone thought I was an idiot." Or: “I should have stayed at my last job. I would be much happier now.”
Persistent worry also includes negative (often catastrophic) predictions about the future. Thoughts might include: “I won’t be able to handle this presentation tomorrow; I’ll forget everything I need to say.” Or: “Everyone else will get a promotion, but not me: no one notices my work.”
Decisive action
Changing your destructive thought patterns can be as difficult as stopping smoking. But by being consistent, you can gradually learn to train your brain to think differently. So, what will help you get rid of negative thoughts?
As mentioned above, it is important to stop negative thoughts at the very beginning of their appearance.
Pay attention to how you think: this will help you understand the problem. When you find yourself replaying events over and over again or worrying about things you can't control, realize that your thoughts are not productive.
Thinking is only useful when it leads to positive action.
Charge yourself with positive energy
Be sure to include regular sports in your schedule - running, swimming, rocking, cycling, skiing... It is important to get enough sleep regularly. Review your diet and remove everything that makes you weaker. At a minimum, cigarettes and large doses of alcohol. Take time to “sharpen the axe” - that is, to analyze what you have done and improve your personal effectiveness. Get out into nature regularly. Travel. More impressions and emotions - films, theaters, photography. Learn to think positively, perceiving all obstacles along the way as areas of growth (according to my observations, believers are much more positive than non-believers. In their picture of the world, if God gives trials, he always gives resources to overcome them).
