What to do if your husband doesn't love you

My husband said that he doesn’t love me - how can I understand, and most importantly, accept these words?

People tend to talk about their feelings for each other. This is especially necessary for women - verbal expression of emotions is in their blood.

Why men don’t like to talk about secrets and remain silent until the last moment, that there is no more love - find out from this article.

Is this so?

Unexpected coldness on the part of the spouse, the cessation of confidential conversations - this can make you think that the spouse no longer has feelings. This situation becomes a nightmare for women who are completely dedicated to their family. It is difficult for them to imagine how they will continue to live without their loved one. How to determine whether your beloved has really stopped experiencing tender feelings?

Signs of cooling on the part of the spouse

Women whose husbands have stopped loving them claim that this is easy to determine by certain signs:

the husband began to pay little attention;
he stopped giving gifts;
sex life has become much worse;
the husband began to work late.

Psychologists say that decreased sexual activity, absent-mindedness, and isolation may be associated with overwork or stress. It is likely that the beloved has problems at work, which he does not want to burden his chosen one with, but he cannot distract himself from them even at home. If your lover has been depressed for a long time, sex has become rare, he has become irritable - all this can be a sign of depression or some kind of illness. Therefore, there is no need to rush to conclusions and assume that your husband no longer loves you.

How to live on

Of course, at first it will be difficult for you. No matter how your husband has behaved lately, this is the person with whom you have lived your little life. Do not under any circumstances give up on yourself and think that your chances of happiness are lost. During the acute period, you need to spend time with loved ones. Try not to be alone with yourself. Also, I remind you that it will be useful to go away for some time, where nothing reminds you of him. A change of environment helps you take your mind off thoughts related to your past. You can change your image, go shopping, anything that could help you bring at least some joy in your current situation. Don’t withdraw into yourself, if you feel that you can’t cope on your own, contact a psychologist, this is absolutely normal in such a situation, a specialist will help you get out of a depressive state with the least loss for yourself. And most importantly, remember that a black stripe is always followed by a white stripe. Strength and patience to you, dear ladies!

Signs of lost love

Are there clear signs that will indicate that the husband has grown cold? Yes, these include the following:

offensive language towards the spouse;
showing dissatisfaction with the appearance and behavior of the wife in order to offend her;
ridicule in the company of acquaintances and friends;
blackmail, screams, threats;
physical violence, beating.

A man who uses physical and psychological violence and raises his hand is unlikely to love his chosen one. He can find a thousand excuses for his actions and swear his love until the grave, but such a union does not have a happy future. It is worth carefully weighing all the pros and cons of such a marriage before continuing to live with your husband.

What to do

Many women are familiar with situations when they are absolutely sure that their spouse no longer feels anything for them. Perhaps he himself said so and suggested a divorce. Psychologists say that the pain of betraying a loved one can be compared to the bitterness of losing a loved one. What to do if the husband does not love his wife?

Experts give recommendations on how to behave in such a situation:

Let go of your lover and move on with your life. Letting go of a partner for whom you have strong feelings is not easy. But there is no need to keep a lover close to you who plainly says that he no longer has feelings. Sooner or later, the spouse will leave the family nest.
Cut off all contacts with your chosen one. Even chance encounters will open up emotional wounds. Change the situation, go on vacation with your friends - this will make it easier for you to get over the breakup.
Communicate with other representatives of the stronger sex. At first, making new acquaintances will be difficult, but over time, communication can develop into something more than friendship.

Signs that a husband doesn't love his wife

There are some tips, recognized by psychologists, that contribute to understanding the process and will clearly tell the lady that her suspicions are not groundless.

The spouse does not like any tactile touch. A man has become irritable if his wife wants to hug him, touch him, or show affection. When a person truly loves his chosen one, then every touch will be joyful. When a spouse shows affection, the husband should want to reciprocate.

However, if passionate kisses, touching hands and hot hugs are unpleasant, cause nervousness or even anger, a man brushes it off when his chosen one reaches out to him, then this is a serious reason to think about the current situation.

In every family, over time, there comes a period when love experiences have cooled down a little, hormones have come to a calm state, bright emotions have been replaced by calm, peace and mutual respect for each other.

If a spouse stops loving his other half, then it becomes normal for him to insult the lady, offend, even humiliate, especially in front of strangers. In each of his screams towards his wife, he selects expressions that can hurt her more, make her worry, feel guilty.

You should not attribute his speech to fatigue or a bad mood. All this should be very alarming, especially if this has not happened before.

There is practically no communication between close people. If before the husband often called and found out what his wife was doing, now the situation is exactly the opposite. If the wife nevertheless decides to call her husband herself, then he either does not answer, or hangs up the call or refers to being extremely busy at work and urgent matters. In the evening, the spouse relaxes, watching TV or sitting at the computer.

How do you know if a man loves you?

In my husband’s words, the pronoun “I” instead of “we” slips more and more often. When the conversation comes about vacation, the wife does not participate in it. A man wants to go fishing or hunting with friends, but not with his wife.

The husband does not welcome lunches and dinners together. Eating together should ideally bring spouses closer together. If a man ignores this most important part of life together, then this indicates his reluctance to be close to his wife.

The chosen one begins to behave extremely defiantly. He constantly mocks his wife. The husband teases the lady about her cooking, dressing, hair styling, makeup, and conversation style. The wife has to hear constant bullying about her inability to drive a car and problems in the professional sphere. He makes unfounded claims about something that was absolutely fine in the past. Sometimes you get the feeling that he simply “can’t stomach” his wife.

Watch the video. How to find out that a man has someone else.

A man finds fault over trifles and trifles. What previously amused him is now rather annoying and often simply unbearable. This can apply to anything: coming home late from work, going to a restaurant with friends, position in bed, the wrong place for your bag. Moreover, the further the spouse moves away, the more disadvantages the lady will have.

Sole decision-making, silent scenes. If previously the spouses did everything together, now the beloved does not even think about asking his wife’s opinion. This is a sure sign that the man has stopped experiencing tender feelings.

How can you tell if a man loves you or is just using you?

Humor and laughter disappear from the couple's life. The husband and wife do not laugh at a funny joke or video; he does not like the laughter of his once beloved lady. If a woman is having fun, but this only infuriates her husband, makes him angry, and he walks around with a gloomy face - things in the family are completely sad.

The man lost his sense of compassion. If the lady is cold, then he can make hot coffee, but this will be done by force, which will cause a storm of negative emotions. The husband became insensitive and indifferent to his wife’s condition and her difficulties at work.

The husband cheats not only on the physical level. He doesn't just have a mistress with whom he has sexual contact. He feels good with her mentally and emotionally. At home, the husband only fulfills his marital duty and deals with household chores.

6 out of 9 men who fall out of love become indifferent

The lady no longer feels the strong support she has. When the chosen one grows cold, the sense of responsibility for his wife is relegated to the background. As a result, the wife develops uncertainty and fear.

The husband does not want to solve emerging problems of an intimate nature, which can often arise against a background of nervous tension. He is not bothered by the lack of sex with his wife. A man is absolutely not interested in why his beloved woman has no desire for sexual intimacy, and he does not plan to change the situation in any way.

But it doesn't go away

Situations of this kind often occur in family life. The husband is at home with a blank look, furious at his wife, but does not want to leave.

What to do if your spouse doesn’t love you, but doesn’t intend to leave? Psychologists have a definite point of view on this matter.

His wife may be worried about something, but he does not want to tell his wife the reason. This happens if the chosen one is too strict, and he knows that the woman may not approve of his intentions, or there is something that should be hidden from her. For example, loans, your own ideas or health difficulties.

In this case, the more a woman tries to understand the reason and force him to open up, the sadder the result will be.

It’s worth waiting and not bothering your spouse with constant questions, especially if the situation has not yet stabilized.

There is a category of representatives of the stronger sex who are inspired by ladies during courtship. Having achieved their goal, it seems to them that the job is done, and there is no need to do anything further. In addition, the spouses are now together, and the lady is not going anywhere.

How do you know if your husband loves you?

Why doesn't the man leave? Most likely, he expects that his wife will understand her own shortcomings and become the same, or he has not yet decided on the situation with his mistress. This is an extremely difficult case.

Watch the video. What to do if a man loses interest?

If there is another

The older a man is, the more difficult it is to part with an established way of life. Even having cooled off towards his wife, he will return to the family abode, lead his old lifestyle, and will not even think about parting. But if a man said that he no longer loves, most likely he has a new passion.

It will be possible to figure out an unfaithful husband quickly, since it is quite simple to determine that the husband has stopped loving his wife because of another lady.

When a representative of the stronger sex has a new passion, he blossoms. New suits, perfume, polished shoes, but he is in no hurry to invite his wife anywhere. Frequent business trips also indicate the presence of a rival. New hobbies that a man does alone or with friends.

He doesn’t tell his wife anything, doesn’t swear, and tries to get along with her. However, the behavior demonstrates that there is a person who draws attention to himself. Delays at work and unclear calls are obvious evidence of a competitor.

A change in the relationship between a man and a woman also shows a lot. If the husband was constantly aggressive, then the wife may admit that her husband never loved her. But unexpected aggression towards the wife, which happens more and more often, indicates changes in the husband’s life.

Whether he loves you or not - accurate fortune telling for free.

When a mistress appears, men sometimes rush to the other extreme. They become extremely attentive and scrupulous, do not contradict their wife, give gifts, invite them to a cafe. In this way, they seem to be trying to make amends to their spouse.

Hold on at all costs

Some representatives of the fair sex refuse to believe that there is no more love and begin to fight for their spouse. When choosing such a line of behavior, you need to decide why you need to maintain such a marriage. If it seems to a wife that she will not be able to continue living without a life partner, that another man will not want to connect his life with her, and her appearance, age or the presence of children will not allow her to arrange her personal life, it is better to seek help from a specialist. Such behavior is not love, but more like emotional dependence on a partner.

Household reasons

In our culture, it is very easy and convenient for husbands to “hang” the entire life of the family on their wives. Especially if there is a family with children. To do this, the husband doesn’t even have to be a stern patriarchal tyrant (although such characters can be found in the twenty-first century): it’s enough for him to show his arms out of his shoulders and naively bat his eyes: they say, he’s not trained to clean or cook, and I’m not good with children either. it doesn’t work out - come on, wife, try, you’re strong, you can handle it!

And a huge number of women, even working and earning women, take on all household chores - simply because these things will not be done otherwise! Well, and men... And men are so comfortable - and why would they leave a free cook and housekeeper?

How to behave as a wife

If your husband says that he no longer loves you, you need to bring him to a confidential conversation. The first reaction to this may be anger, hysteria, shock, however, you need to keep your emotions under control and sit down at the negotiating table. Perhaps the spouse will be able to name a specific reason why his feelings faded away - thanks to this, you can determine what to do next.

If a lover has lost interest in his wife because of a new passion, there is no need to try to organize competitions with the homewrecker, because if a person betrayed once, he can do it again.

Some women begin to surround their partner with excessive care, change their appearance, and try to retain their partner with culinary delights. Such behavior causes a backlash and even greater rejection in men. Remember that you are an individual. Engage in self-education, development, go to meetings with friends more often. Make it clear that even after the divorce you will continue to live an interesting and rich life. It is possible that the faithful will look at you with different eyes.

What to change in family life

Having found out why your husband has lost interest in you, you need to carefully consider your line of behavior:

Forget about everyday life. A man wants to see a loving woman next to him. Stop running around the house with a rag and finally have a romantic date.
Be interested in your spouse's life. Do you know what your husband is interested in, does he have a hobby? Spend more time with your significant other, be interested in his life and problems, support him.
Engage in self-development. Remember what you were like when you first met and compare with yourself today. It often happens that one partner continues his development, while the other, on the contrary, remains at the same level or even deteriorates.

Can a husband love his wife again?

It is possible to arouse romantic feelings in your spouse.

There are psychological tricks that cause the release of hormones into a man’s blood:

prolonged eye contact;
date;
attractive appearance, beautiful clothes, hairstyle;
frequent use of a man's name;
constant praise;
demonstration of desire in sexual terms.

Important! If there is hostility, being too persistent will push the man away. A woman’s actions should be unobtrusive.

Will the children be saved?

Some women, seeing that their husband has grown cold, decide that the birth of a child will change the situation. Why this is not recommended:

if the husband said that he no longer loves and decided to leave, he will do it, the children have not yet kept a single man;
the baby must be desired and planned;
according to statistics, many families break up precisely after the birth of a child, so such tactics can only speed up the process;
a woman can project resentment towards her husband onto her child.

Even if the faithful decides to stay out of a sense of duty, the family will not be happy. The fire of love will not flare up with renewed vigor, and the growing child will feel that there is tension in the relationship between the parents.

If there are already children, women often begin to make their partner feel guilty or threaten that they will not allow them to see the child. Such behavior will not make a man respect and love his wife, and the child becomes a bargaining chip in the parents’ relationship.

It is better, for the sake of the children, to maintain friendly relations with your ex-husband, who will remain a loving father, than to try to preserve the family and make the children unwitting witnesses to regular scandals.

Requests for help Write your story

There was a collapse in life. Trouble came from an unexpected direction. My husband files for divorce. Told me a couple of days ago. He says that there is no more love, he doesn’t feel anything towards me. “I will file for divorce.” As soon as I heard these words, the ground disappeared from under my feet. After all, before this I didn’t notice any special signs. He had a lot of work and I attributed his behavior to fatigue. He says he has no one. Goes nowhere. Didn't cheat and leaves because it could happen. And supposedly he doesn’t want me to be in more pain. We have been together for 10 years, we have a son, he is 8. Three years ago there was a similar story. He left us with the same words. But he held out for about a week, then prayed that it was a mistake, that he couldn’t live without us. I forgave. And now it happens again. It is almost impossible to convey my internal state in words. It’s as if all the bones in the chest have been broken and the entrails are being wrapped around a skinning drum. How to tell my son? I decided not to say anything for now, my dad went on a business trip. Let him get used to living without him at least a little. I don't know how it would be more painless. There is still a glimmer of hope in my soul that he will return. On the other hand, I understand that I don’t want to live with a traitor. I browse this site day and night. How to cope?

Marina, age: 29 / 05.11.2020

Responses:

Hello, Marina! I want to support you and say that you are not alone with such trouble, unfortunately. We need to let him go, once and for all, especially since this is not the first time. I’ll tell you honestly, this is my first time in this hell and only recently. My husband left 2.5 months ago, as if it were yesterday, the pain is a little duller, but it would have been even easier if he hadn’t been dragged to his daughter. I’ll tell you about my misfortune: everything was fine, then I got a promotion at work, became a boss, then I began to feel coldness toward myself and indifference to my long-awaited daughter. We made plans until the last day, and on the evening of August 21, he told me that he had fallen in love. Then my life, our future, everything collapsed. I said, “Go away,” but it looked like he was just waiting to run away. I grabbed my passport, said “Thank you for everything,” and jumped into the car to meet a new life, leaving behind 15 years with me. I’m writing to you now, and tears are flowing, my daughter is sleeping next to me, it’s most offensive for her. You can’t tell everything, of course, but he was caring, especially with the advent of his daughter, very gentle. And then I began to feel cynicism, arrogance, disgust for people, but I did not understand that this could affect me too. Marina, I beg you, just don’t humiliate yourself in front of him, don’t ask him to stay, he’s already stayed once. HE WHO BETRAYS ONCE WILL BETRAYAL A SECOND, AND HAPPEN A THIRD. So let him go his way. I was dying for the first couple of weeks, lost 15 kg, did nothing, just looked for answers to my questions on the Internet and, thank God, I came across this site, it really helps me survive, as soon as the tears start flowing, I immediately come here, I start to be treated. There are so many examples of so many women's destinies. Find a hobby, take care of yourself and your child. I’m not a gift either, I’m a depressed person with a bad character, I’m used to my husband doing everything for me. And now I enjoy the beauty of autumn and the rain, I began to change. Maybe this is what I needed. God knows best, He sends us the trials that we need, perhaps which will change us. It will be easier for Marina, I know that for sure, give yourself time, pay attention to yourself, I assure you everything will pass. In the meantime, if you want to cry, cry, if you lie down, lie down, but not for long, life goes on, your husband could not go anywhere, most likely the fairy already exists, everything he says is nonsense. You don’t need to believe him, just let him go, close the door in your heart and survive, and then, most likely, both I and you will understand that this is for the better. It’s hard for me too and I don’t know who to talk to anymore, my whole family is tired, I understand it myself, so I cry alone, if I press him and read a prayer, then relief comes. I think they will tell you how to explain it to your son, my daughter is one year old, so there is nothing to explain. I can't tell you anything about this. Marinochka, everything will be fine, the main thing is to believe, God will put everything in its place, I ask and he helps me, however, you also ask, and he will give you strength. He is a traitor, he has no place next to you, remember this. Don't step on the same rake a second time. Start loving and respecting yourself.

Natali, age: 30 / 06.11.2020

Hello Marina, my situation is similar to yours. He also started saying that he doesn’t feel anything towards me, he’s gone nowhere, there’s no one there, my story is here 03/10/2020 Forget-me-not, read it if you’re interested. All this is nonsense and lies, there is a strong smell of other people’s perfume here, let him go, you don’t need him, he has already left, abandoned and betrayed you and again this has already happened again, on a larger scale. I, too, like you, went crazy, but now a year later I’m better, really better, I’ve learned to rejoice and smile without him! And I am happy! And then I thought I would die, I just wouldn’t survive, but no, I still survived!! And everything will be fine with you! It will certainly happen, and this pain and sadness will pass, sunny days will come full of joy and love! Believe me, it will happen, I didn’t believe it either when they told me. People who have gone through this know and give good advice! All the best to you!!!

Forget-me-not, age: 34 / 06.11.2020

Hello, Marina! Accept your husband’s decision, let him go nowhere, or rather where, but it doesn’t matter. You correctly said that he is a traitor, abandoning his family, and if you do not want to constantly suffer, then let him go in peace. You need to go through all this, suffer, cry and understand why you chose this man as your husband, so as not to make such mistakes again. There is a forum on the site, there are many similar topics, read them and articles on the sites of the Perezhit.ru group. All the best!

Vitaly, age: 39 / 06.11.2020

Marina, I really want to support you, I read your letter, I feel so sorry for you. Everything is fresh with you, I remembered my pain. But I can confidently say that everything will pass, no one can say how quickly, it’s different for everyone... But don’t believe that it’s going nowhere! If he didn't have a fairy, he wouldn't even think about leaving. You will see, you will immediately know that there is someone. Let go! Don't be humiliated. My BM also left like that for the first time, also for three days, and then I found out that it was the same one, only the children there didn’t accept him, so he returned quickly. And the second time, 10 years later, I found him without children and left forever. Don’t be afraid to be alone, everything will be fine with you, my life has only gotten better, I blossomed, lost weight, became younger, but for a year and a half I was very ill, I howled with mental pain, plunged into darkness, went to church and sometimes felt absolute “happiness.” “When I was skiing in the park, and then again I was overcome with longing for that life when I had a complete family, and you will survive this pain, Marina! God help you!

Gulnaz, age: 42 / 11/06/2020

Dear Marina. I want to support you. I really don’t want to voice my assumptions. My story also began with “gone to nowhere...”, but it turned out to be very “to where...”. My story is six months old. I don’t remember how I lived for the first three months. She believed that she would return, come to her senses, that no one was there. She begged, cried, called home. And I spent days on this site. I read the stories and wrote my own. I didn’t want to delve into the responses and advice that was given to me here. I believed that everything was different for me than for others. Naive. I think you won’t hear me now, but I will try: 1. “Kill” the hope of returning, no matter what happens. As soon as “what if, what if...” starts in your head, switch immediately. It is difficult, the effort is incredible, but it is possible. May the Lord forgive me, but imagine that he died. Now he’s gone, and that’s it. 2. Do not call or write first (only in case of emergency). No word on a possible return. 3. It is advisable to remove yourself from all social networks so that there is no desire to go to his page 4. There is a 99% chance that during your meetings he will begin to “rock” you (I feel bad “there”, I am so and so, I loved you , “there” pulls or something similar). DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. AT ALL. He is “testing the waters,” looking at the possibility of an “alternate airfield.” All your communication, both in person and by telephone, should be exclusively for business matters. 5. Get angry with him. And on yourself. For yourself first. Think that he is building his life now, and you are “sitting by the window.” And you wait. Move forward. As much as you can. I'm still coping with varying degrees of success, but it's really gotten a lot easier for me. One day I am cheerful, the next day work “attacks” me. And for the third day I’ve been lying on a stake. But every day it gets easier and easier. The acute pain has passed, and the pain comes less and less often. Fight. Fight for yourself, save yourself. Say mentally: “I will not allow myself to be destroyed. I'm alive, healthy, happy. Everything is ALREADY fine.” I hug you, Marinochka. You can handle it

Lydia, age: 30 / 06.11.2020

Marina, dear, it’s almost impossible to survive this without God. It is possible, but it will be extremely difficult and long. It is clear that you are in shock. You cannot accept reality, it seems that all this is a bad dream... In any case, pray and ask God to rule according to His Will. Everything will work out in the most useful and beneficial way for you. Believe me. Hold on to God and the Mother of God. I'm going through a collapse myself. And I understand you very much.

Resurrection, age: 38 / 11/06/2020

Dear Marina! I understand you very much. It is very painful and seems impossible to accept with the heart. Most likely, he has another woman, he is simply afraid to confess to you. When you read all the stories here, you want everyone to do well. Say that a similar story has already happened. This means he already has a predisposition to leave. Think about it, if suddenly he returns now and you accept him, then in a few years he may leave, then you will be much worse off. I think you need to let him go. You are still a very young woman and can find yourself a husband who will love and respect you. Hold on, it will hurt right away, but over time the wounds will heal and it will become easier. I wish you to be happy!

Gala, age: 50 / 06.11.2020

Dear Marina, I couldn’t ignore your letter. I will write as a daughter. I’ve been in this state for a year and three months, everything is familiar. The pain doesn't seem to go away. No, he's leaving. Comparing myself a year ago, I clearly understand that no matter what they say about time that doesn’t work... It works. Slowly, slowly, but surely it works. Just believe it. Marina, you are 29 years old, this is just the beginning of life. Now many will write to you that you cannot forgive a traitor and they will be right a thousand times. I went through betrayal, repentance, forgiveness and everything was in vain. I will not tire of repeating that betrayal is a basic quality of a person and it is unchangeable. Someone wrote here that fornication is like the bite of a rabid dog, there is no cure! It is possible to survive a divorce, it will take a lot of strength, patience, endurance, but, Marinochka, 29 years old!!! Your husband won't stop. I know, I know, dear girl, how painful it is to read this and I want to hear something completely different, something comforting, but accept this bitter pill as an immutable fact. The most important and difficult thing is to accept the situation, face the truth and see the truth there. You will think for a long time that you can return everything, forgive, fix it. You can’t, my dear, you can’t. And I say this not as an aunt who is angry with the whole world, but as a thinking person who has thoroughly studied and worked on this situation from all sides. I still love my “untimely departed”)))) husband. Or rather, I love the memory of us and the time when we were happy. But I don’t want to know a person who was mercilessly cruel. So you leave the good and bright in your memory and learn to live without it. He will get you into even greater trouble. You can forgive again and again, but he will destroy you more and more. Stop the process of destruction for your sake, for your son's sake. Where to get strength? Parents, friends, art, nature, medical care. To everyone caught in this terrible bone crusher, it seems that the pain will never end... It will end! You, dear Marina, can’t even imagine how easily and freely you will breathe when you understand that your husband will no longer be able to cause you a bit of pain, because you are no longer in his coordinate system, out of reach. Fight for yourself, everything will pay off. Do not be deceived about your husband and do not waste precious years on someone who sold you twice. Marinochka, may God give you strength and health. Don't give up, take everything into your own hands. Your whole life is ahead and it will be wonderful. Not all men betray. Meet your destiny. Maybe she’s nearby?) Hugs to you, Marina.

Lyudmila, age: 60 / 06.11.2020

Thanks for support. It’s very nice that there are caring and sympathetic people. I didn’t think it would be so hard, I couldn’t sleep or eat. My child has to go to school every other day after the holidays, but I can’t put myself back together. He still calls every day, saying that he lives at our dacha. And there is no water or light there. How long is he there for? The hope of his return does not allow me to breathe calmly. There is such a confrontation between heart and mind inside me. I don’t write to him or call him. If you love, let go. I'm trying to set myself up according to this principle. Only on this site can I dissolve a little, realizing that I am not alone. More time would have passed. I came up with a bunch of things to do to keep myself from getting sour. So far, the only conclusion I have made is not to completely dissolve in a person, to be an independent unit, to have your own hobbies. And it turned out that I became a free housekeeper. I’m writing now and it’s getting a little easier. Anger at him begins to grow. It’s good that financially I can support both myself and the child. Thank you for your responsiveness.

Marina, age: 29 / 08.11.2020

Hello, Marina. He is deceiving you. From my own bitter experience, from the experience of women who have gone through all this, I can say that 99%, someone is there. And how long. And everything is planned. It’s just that he is not only a traitor, but also a coward and a weakling. Your son is 8 years old, and you are only 29, which means you have been together since a young age. Now, he’s played enough with the family, now he wants butterflies in his stomach, chemistry, emotions. This is the type of people. They fall in love one after the other, but they cannot feel real love. You now need to understand that he does not love you. Do you want to live with such a person until old age, spend your whole life on him? YOU ARE ONLY 29 YEARS OLD!!! And my son is already 8. So many wonderful things await you ahead. What do you want? Achieve a stunning career and financial independence? So you will achieve it. Marry a wonderful person? So you'll go out. Do not doubt. Now get together and divide the property in the most beneficial way for you and the child. You distance yourself from the traitor, set a goal for yourself, and move forward. Through pain that will pass over time anyway. It passed for everyone. I have 2 children, I’m 34, everything is the same, he doesn’t have anyone, the feelings just went away. Then I only found out from neighbors that as soon as I left our common home with the children, I immediately started taking my girlfriend there. 2 years have already passed, he lives with her, there is no desire to see the children, and to my requests to sit with them the answer is: “I have another family.” And you won’t be left alone, that’s for sure. They’ve already offered to marry me, he’s a good guy, I’m just not ready yet. And everything will be fine with you.

Teana, age: 34 / 11/08/2020

Well, how are we all coping here, my dear?))) With prayers and God’s help)) Walk more, breathe air, find a hobby, something you like, sports are very distracting, fitness, the pool is super helpful. We have all experienced or are experiencing betrayal, betrayal, cruelty on the part of loved ones. That's life. Everything will pass, this too will pass! It cannot be any other way))).

Evgeniya, age: 38 / 11/26/2020

Marina, hello! I understand your situation very well, as does everyone here. I’m 25, I also went nowhere, home to my mother, we were together for 9 years, the relationship was always pure and honest, both techies, they were used to speaking honestly in person and to the point, there was always something to talk about, common interests, I had no doubts until the last day in it, and in the end she came from work to an empty apartment, from where he took things out one day without warning. A month of silence, I didn’t even know the reason, then a cold conversation via correspondence (!), as if the person had been replaced, and total silence for several months now. In short, what I figured out and what I want to share in order to somehow lighten your burden: 1. It will be painful and difficult for you exactly as long as you feel sorry for HIM: replace his actions and words in your head with how good he was literally a week before, let these actions go on the brakes, “after all, we love each other,” think that it’s also difficult for him, that he’s about to understand his mistake or has already understood, but is afraid to return, and now you’ll settle everything by doing the first step, because he was simply mistaken, and by waiting it out or doing something on your part, you will save all of you together. Forget about it. There is no need to think about it, although you really want to, because you are the closest person and have always felt it, but now this is not the case. The person doesn’t think about you, doesn’t worry. Only you are worried here, because now you have a hole in your chest and pain in your back and neck, it is YOU who has the desire to discuss/settle/write, etc. When there is a desire, it cannot be restrained - people take it and do it. He doesn't have one. No matter what he really feels. There is no desire to do anything. And you won't do it for him. 2. Accept that the person who dares to tell you that he doesn’t love you is a stranger. Your beloved husband, a close and dear person, would never say such a thing, but here it’s as if it’s a different person. This is not theater or a dream, they really speak to you as if you were a stranger, understand that from now on you have no right to get into a person’s soul, try to unravel his thoughts, as before, it is useless, accept his decision as the decision of any stranger - take my word for it. 3. To create a family, bright love is not enough, as it turned out). After all, feelings can cool down and be reborn, probably every person here with experience living together can confirm this, but it is necessary that your half is SMART enough to understand the value of your family and be able to work through difficulties for the sake of some higher goal, as is done in in absolutely all areas of life: at work, at school, with other relatives, with friends, etc. For example, I’ve been thinking about this new situation for myself for several months now, and I came to the conclusion that it’s just nonsense and weakness to leave your family like this MANY YEARS later, and it’s nonsense that people change, become different, etc. This may come up in a year or two, but in ten years). Because what unites people into long-term couples in most cases is something fundamental, their qualities and views that practically do not change in life, their mindset and character, if you like. Therefore, we can combine this thought into one: an intelligent and strong person understands the value of you, your family, and even if he cools off on his part (and this happens from time to time, probably for everyone, regardless of gender and length of family life) he will try to do everything to work it out, together or independently, or whatever. And here there is no need to divide into “men and women”; a decent and intelligent person remains such in any situation and regardless of his gender)) 4. Being distracted by something is absolutely useless advice. It just annoyed me, it’s like when your apartment is collapsing under your feet, and they tell you: “Look how wonderful the sun is shining. And you also have a job, throw yourself into it.” Nonsense. Sit and think about the problem, think about it like homework, don’t think about “what did he want to say, but he probably thinks like this, and he probably…” Think about what he DID do in the last month or year or two, as he led yourself, what you did, read this site, other people’s stories, interview your friends, if you like, ramble to the bitter end, most importantly, don’t make yourself so depressed, if you feel like it’s getting worse, then tell yourself: “He’s not thinking I won’t talk about that either” and try to switch. In any case, you need to try everything you can to calm down. 5. Listen to your loved ones, how they see you in this situation. Now imagine that this happened to your closest and beloved friend/sister/friend/child (adult). And what do you think of this situation from the outside? Have you really behaved so badly and unbearably that you offended a poor unfortunate adult man, and he, having packed his things, decided to get a divorce? All people make mistakes, but not all couples break up. There are people who are ready to work on conflicts or routines or whatever might be at play in your case. Think about it. Why are you worse than those whose husbands are willing to work on their relationship? Or maybe it's just your husband? PS Well, not only in yours, we are all like that here

Halo, age: 25 / 30.11.2020

Marina, how are you doing? I'm going through a very similar situation. Only my husband hasn’t left yet. This caught us during the renovation and he said, “Let’s finish the renovation, and then we’ll decide.” And in the end, it seems like you want to rip off the band-aid, but it’s so scary (Share, how is it, what should you prepare for? PS I’ve been married for 10 years and until this moment I was happy every day.

Anastasia, age: 32 / 12/14/2020

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Do not do this under any circumstances! Mistakes of wives

It is difficult to contain your emotions and think through further actions when your husband says that he has fallen out of love. Most women make typical mistakes that negatively affect the situation. What you should not do under any circumstances:

Start a relationship with another man. Wanting to make her husband jealous, a wife may end up in the bed of another man. But this will only speed up the separation, because he has a good reason for leaving.
To evoke pity. There is no need to invent non-existent illnesses, quit your job, or talk about your failure. This will only cause aggression and irritation in your loved one.
Manipulate children. Many men love their children, but by trying to play on paternal feelings, a representative of the fairer sex will not achieve what she wants. On the contrary, the husband may want to take the child for himself.

Getting over a breakup is difficult, but maintaining a friendly relationship with your spouse is even more difficult. Whatever you decide - to let go of your loved one or fight for your family, it won’t hurt to seek help from a psychologist. Invite your spouse to make an appointment together with a family analyst. It is likely that working together in a specialist’s office will revive former love.

Psychologist's advice

Experienced psychologists recommend starting with yourself in any matter.
If a husband is indifferent to his wife, then the problem is with her. A woman needs to love herself, understand her inner world, and tune in to love. When a girl is open to love, the one she has chosen as her companion has no choice but to be by her side. Don’t overdo it in your search for self-love, because a man, in a fit of jealousy, is capable of ill-considered actions when defending his property; first, explain to him that at the moment he is free from responsibility for your relationship together.

Love and respect go side by side; they cannot “live” in married couples separately from each other. Psychologists advise letting go of the situation, and in the most critical moments, the man, and if he doesn’t leave, show respect to your loved one and leave yourself. True feelings are tested at a distance; a change in relationship status will make a man think and look differently at his spouse and his behavior.

Strong-willed women do not worry about their husband’s feelings; they think about their independence and love for their common home. This could be children, a joint business, material assets, or even a summer house.

When a woman has something to find an outlet for her emotions, she has no time to think about the love states of her husband, she takes him in her arms and gives free rein to her joint emotions. During this period of activity, a surge of hormones returns bright colors to relationships even in the most advanced age of a married couple. A man behaves as loyally as possible after such events.

In the following table, we will analyze the main actions of the wife to strengthen the relationship and the man’s reaction to them:

Wife's actions	Husband's reaction
Dedicates all her free time to her husband	At first he's happy, then he gets bored
Interested in his affairs and hobbies	In response, interest in his wife’s affairs appears
Organizes a trip or trip	If he is happy, then all the bonuses will be for his wife
Changes the image and style of clothing	Is surprised, seduced, or indignant
Emits only positive emotions	Gets charged, responds in kind, or gets irritated if there is little sincerity
Captivates with fresh stories and stories	Gets involved, gets closer, relaxes
Flirts, makes advances, seduces	Answers or closes

Depending on the husband’s reaction to active actions, the spouse can understand in detail how critical their relationship is.
He simply does not notice his wife in order to temporarily relax or he has a completely different life on his mind. For a targeted check on the husband’s psyche using the active technique of specialists, try to identify all the requests and needs of the spouse. All problems can go away on their own in cases where it is possible to find the root or germ of misunderstanding. What to do if your husband has fallen out of love, treats you badly, begins to let loose and be rude:

get a divorce and find a better option for yourself;
change radically and regain feelings;
force your husband to apologize and change his principles and attitude towards marriage;
stopped loving - unworthy of such a wonderful woman, put pressure on self-esteem;
together go to a psychologist for recommendations and do an internship.

In fact, most women are fixated on the theory of relationships, knowing how to do the right thing, but they are embarrassed by something at the last moment, and obediently submit to the actions of the man.
Train courage, boldness and bravery, know that the words and emotional background of your speeches can turn a man on and make him a toy in the hands of a powerful woman. He will have no choice but to understand that he is losing his only love and the relationship will sparkle with a fresh overflow of feelings.