How to get out of depression on your own: expert advice

Depression is a very common mental disorder today, the causes and symptoms of which are well studied and described. There are also effective methods of treating it. Severe types of this disease - suicidal depression (obsessive idea to commit suicide) and bipolar (severe mood swings, obsessive thoughts, inflated self-esteem, etc.) must be dealt with by specialists in the field of psychiatry. For other types of depression, there are methods that complement professional help, and sometimes replace it, that give the answer to how to get out of depression on your own. These are depressions:

• seasonal;
• adynamic (weakness, decreased performance, fatigue);
• anxious (feeling of anxiety);
• hormonal, one of the subtypes of which is postpartum;
• tearful (constant desire to cry);
• anesthetic (loss of emotions);
• dysphoric (groundless irritability, attacks of anger and malice);
• ironic (difficult to define, as it is characterized by fun and excessive talkativeness, making fun of others) and others.

WHAT PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY

First of all, in order to start fighting depression on your own, you need to know what caused it and neutralize it. The most common “provocateurs” are:

1. Personal tragedy experienced at any age.
2. Chronic illness.
3. Constantly pursuing stressful situations.
4. Lack of vitamins.
5. Poor nutrition.
6. Bad weather, lack of sunlight.
7. Problems at work and at home.
8. A series of failures.
9. Lack of sleep, severe fatigue.
10. A sudden significant change in life - the collapse of a business, dismissal, the need to start something over again, moving to another country, etc.
11. Loss of a loved one.
12. Abuse of alcoholic beverages and psychotropic drugs.

We can say for sure: depression does not “pop up” unexpectedly, like a pimple. This is how the psyche responds to negative events that are important to a person. The problems that caused the disorder should not be driven deep into oneself, because then they, poisoning the body from the inside, will become more global and can result in serious mental or somatic illnesses.

Reconsider your views on the situation - as they say, there is no way out of the grave! Life goes on - change your attitude to what is happening, do not pay attention to squabbles and sidelong glances. It's impossible to please everyone. If you need a frank conversation, talk frankly, dot the i's. Work on yourself.

The more actions, the greater the impact

And so that during the time “from work to work” you do not destroy yourself, and at the same time your relationships with friends and loved ones, try to develop a clear strategy:

● Maintain the same rhythm and routine of life. Get up, have breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time as before. If you are a man, be sure to shave every morning. If you are a woman, comb your hair and wear light makeup.

● Do something every day to look for a job: surf the Internet, send out resumes, study job magazines, go on interviews. A pattern has been noticed: if today you called not five, but ten companies, then tomorrow you will receive twice as many calls as in previous days.

● Use your free time to take care of your health. Don't watch TV late, get enough sleep, don't drink coffee or strong tea, and be sure to go outside every day. Visit a dentist, other doctors, undergo treatment if necessary. Do all the boring but necessary household chores that you never got around to doing before.

HELP YOURSELF

Getting out of depression is facilitated by a number of steps that need to be taken, taking into account the above. Their effectiveness has been proven by people suffering from different types of this disorder from their own experience.

1. Proper nutrition is very important - a healthy diet allows you to feel good physically and be in a good mood. It does not include everything that is called fast food: Big Macs, grilled chicken, French fries. hot dogs, etc. These instant foods can poison the body and introduce many toxic substances into it. Meat can also be considered dangerous in this sense.

Much healthier are fatty varieties of sea fish, nuts, hard cheese, fruits (especially bright ones), vegetables, and seaweed. Chocolate is a good option, but you need to be careful with it, since excess sweets negatively affect your figure, and extra pounds can, in turn, again provoke depression.

2. Another great way to get out of depression is to normalize your sleep. You shouldn’t use any handy “helpers” to quickly fall asleep and sleep fully until the morning, without waking up from every rustle (this means sleeping pills or alcohol, although folk remedies in the form of decoctions are quite suitable). You can do it this way:

• make it a habit to go to bed strictly at a certain time, and not when you want or as it turns out;
• The most natural sleep pattern for a person is to fall asleep before midnight, or even better, at 10 pm, and get up early. In this case, sleep has healing, restorative properties;
• before going to bed, it is inadvisable to watch the news, films with a negative connotation such as thrillers and horrors, as well as read something like that - this can provoke nightmares;
• dinner should be early and not too heavy;
• the bedroom needs to be ventilated, you can take a warm bath, drink a glass of warm milk with honey, ask a family member for a massage.

3. Physical activity is an excellent way out of depression. We live in an era of physical inactivity, we move little, we lose little energy. But not so long ago, our grandparents, not to mention our distant ancestors, did not have such a problem as depression, although their life was not easy. They worked more physically, traveled on foot, and did not have as many “smart” household appliances to make household chores easier.

Therefore, we need to set aside some time a day for physical activity, be it leisurely walks, running, working in the front garden or in the garden, doing fitness or using exercise equipment, or walking. You need to be in the fresh air more often - it improves metabolism and enriches the body with oxygen.

4. Positive thinking is very important to get out of depression. Color the depressive grayness with bright colors, think about good things, do good to people. Smile, look for the best in others. If someone nearby is completely negative and nothing can be done about it, just reduce communication with him to a minimum.

5. Do what you like. A favorite activity or hobby will charge you with positive energy, allow you to relax faster and better after a hard day at work, and distract you from worries and bad thoughts.

6. To get out of depression you need to pamper yourself and give positive emotions. For women, shopping plays the role of a depressant. And it doesn’t matter what kind of purchases they are, small or large, they will still please you. By the way, shopping is also good for men, but they will not like jewelry, outfits or shoes, but something related to their hobby: fishing gear, a gun for hunting, a tool.

Diversity also brings positive emotions. This could be a trip, going to a restaurant, cinema or theater, or a dolphinarium.

Lead a healthy lifestyle, get rid of bad habits and complexes, treat emerging somatic diseases in a timely manner, do not delve into yourself or whine, avoid stressful situations. You can have a pet - your favorite animals have a positive therapeutic effect on people.

And now about the main thing: in order to get out of depression on your own, you need to appreciate every moment of your life. It is given once and must be enjoyed so that nothing passes by. You should not dwell on failures or consider any problem global. Throw everything out of your head, love and appreciate your loved ones, communicate, enjoy every minute.

Give it your all!

There is a huge temptation to finally tell your boss everything you think about him. Or do something nasty: hide the necessary data, take away the phone numbers of important clients, paralyzing the work of the once dear company for some time.

Do not do that! Firstly, the professional circle is very narrow, and when your new boss calls your ex, he is unlikely to find at least a couple of kind words addressed to you. Secondly, if you want your boss to truly regret your dismissal, you need to act in exactly the opposite way. Gather your will and on the last day say a warm goodbye to him, saying the kindest words. Maybe he won’t call you back (which, by the way, is possible), but he will certainly give you an excellent reference. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you had before this minute. As you know, the first and last words are remembered most.

PROGRAM FOR OUT OF DEPRESSION BY A PSYCHOTHERAPIST WITH 30 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

Richard O'Connor, in addition to being a certified specialist in psychiatry, is also the author of many books that have become very popular due to their content and ease of understanding. They talk about many useful things: how to get rid of bad habits, how to become happy and how to get out of depression.

The psychotherapist considers depression not only a mental illness, but also a serious social problem. It should be treated by a specialist, relying on drug therapy and psychotherapy. But professional help is often not enough, since there is always a risk of relapse. An independent way out of depression, the 12 basic principles of which were formulated by O'Connor, will allow you to avoid it. They echo what was said above.

He writes that depression forces a person to think and behave in a certain way, and these become his inalienable habits. They are the ones who dictate an individual’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But you can change your thinking, set it on a different course, change your life in a more constructive direction.

So, here are the principles that you need to follow to get out of depression on your own:

1. Don’t avoid expressing feelings, experience them. A person suffering from depression creates a defense mechanism to isolate himself from disturbing emotions, including both unpleasant and pleasant ones. This deprives the individual of important life information - such anesthesia leads to the development of despondency and aggravation of the situation.

Experiencing emotions and expressing them are two different things: we cannot control the first, but we can and should control the second. You can't be sure you need to feel a certain way, because it destroys your personality.

Therefore, you should not be afraid of feelings, because both strong sadness and joy pass very quickly. A person is like a buoy: our emotions are constantly balancing, but eventually stabilize. So you shouldn’t suppress them: crying, laughing, defending your opinion, etc. will improve the condition. You just need to show them where you are understood, and you will certainly find support.

2. Look for the reason. The mood changes for a reason - there is a reason for it and it needs to be identified. If this is difficult to do, it may be advisable to keep a journal and record the events leading up to the episode of depression. Thanks to this, it will be possible to accurately identify the “culprit”. This could be a difficult conversation, a dream, something heard or read, a memory, etc.

Knowing what causes you to feel sad helps you overcome depression. Now the situation can be avoided or changed, and if both fail, then it is better to come to terms with it and not take it too seriously.

3. Practice mindfulness meditation regularly. This will rewire the brain, give you the opportunity to focus on yourself and eliminate obsessive anxiety. Mastering the skills of conscious living, not judging everything in black and white, accepting the world without distortion, not trying to control what is impossible, and enjoying every day is not easy, but it is quite possible.

Repeat the mantra (can be replaced with the phrase) “Lord, give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, give me the courage to change what I can change, and give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other” - and everything will work out!

4. Exercise regularly. The brain stores a person's experience, and it changes chemically, electrically, and structurally with every thought, experience, and feeling. Depression damages it by remembering depressive habits. But we are able to create new awareness, “build” other, positive skills, point of view and feelings, thereby improving the brain.

5. Get rid of depressive thinking. Avoid pessimism, blaming yourself for all sins and negative coincidences. Change your way of thinking, bad habits, become confident in your abilities. Keep a diary of dysfunctional thoughts to get rid of them, drive out the inner critic.

6. Get your priorities right. Doing things that are unimportant and uninteresting to you leads to depression. Define values ​​for yourself and strictly follow them, even making an effort. Don’t follow bad habits, don’t let others interfere in your life, strengthen your character.

7. Love yourself. Learn to be proud of yourself - it gives pleasure and a feeling of happiness. Write down your achievements and good deeds in a notebook, whatever they may be - spontaneous or a set task. It is usually quite difficult for a person to feel proud of himself, but such discomfort can be quickly overcome.

Small joys are very important: delicious food, a pleasant smell, a comfortable chair, etc. Just pay mindless attention to them - the main thing here is the sensations.

You need to learn to relax. Yoga, dancing, singing in a choir, swimming, aerobics will help with this.

Eat well, take care of your body and health, do not smoke or drink alcohol.

8. Be direct. To be understood correctly, you need to express your desires to your loved one. The language must be unambiguous: what you say and how you say it must match.

Depressed people, as a rule, think that they are not understood, that they are tongue-tied, prefer not to continue the conversation, become silent, and withdraw into themselves. However, if you cannot express your thought, it is better to pause, concentrate, and even ask your interlocutor to ask questions.

In turn, you should listen carefully to what they tell you and ask again for a better understanding.

Communicate more, smile at people, be friendly. It has been proven that extroverts are happy.

9. Find a hero. You need to identify a role model for yourself. This could be someone whom everyone respects for his kindness, courage, self-sacrifice. Such a person can be among both those living and those who have passed away. Of course, he definitely has some shortcomings, but they deserve admiration for their actions.

Try to be like this person and thereby you will begin to respect yourself.

10. Be generous. Of course, it is impossible to find a way out of depression by simply distributing money, showing participation and sympathy. But an outstretched helping hand to another person in need of funds will help get rid of the disorder. If you don’t have the opportunity to do charity work, then you can become a volunteer.

The habit of generosity will break through self-isolation and make you respect and feel better about yourself.

11. Don’t be afraid of intimacy, open up to your loved one. Intimacy opens you up more to him, he gets to know your doubts, secret fears, shameful secrets. This gives birth to harmony in the couple - there is nothing secret anymore, the masks are removed and you are loved for who you really are.

12. Ask for help in a timely manner. Learn to understand the signs that precede a depressive episode. The “bell” may be discomfort in the stomach, irritability, or a lump in the throat. Each person has a different signal, and if you notice it, then immediately, without delay, contact a specialist. Sometimes just one visit to a therapist can prevent a serious relapse.

Take medications prescribed by your doctor - this is not a sign of weakness, but a guarantee that nothing bad will happen.

Attend support groups and give your loved ones instructions in case you get really sick.

Shame to seek help is a symptom of depression and needs to be addressed.

Of course, as Richard O'Connor argues, it is very difficult to live exactly according to these principles. Yes, and they are not easy to master. These new skills need to be constantly practiced, but this requires your great desire to overcome depression.

It will take patience, time, and a lot of work on yourself, which will be accompanied by discomfort and anxiety. But gradually new habits will become commonplace, and then recovery will come.

Vicious circle

Having lost his job, a person has a huge amount of free time at his disposal. Perhaps at first it’s even pleasing: you’ll finally be able to relax! But, as a rule, it is impossible to truly relax. And the unemployed person begins to experience the emptiness that has suddenly formed in his life. According to the observations of psychologists, such a situation is a breeding ground for the emergence of neurosis.

A kind of vicious circle arises: due to the fact that there is no job, you feel depressed, and this, in turn, makes it impossible to find a job. If this condition lasts long enough, it can lead not only to depression, but also to severe physical illness. Psychiatrists often observe this effect of “psychophysical wear and tear” not only among those who have lost their jobs, but also among those who have retired: an intensively working person suddenly begins to rapidly age, and all sorts of sores begin to stick to him.

To avoid this, experts advise that you should start looking for a new job on the same day you were informed of your dismissal. The more time passes after losing a job, the more difficult it will be to find one. Treat dismissal as a test of strength, as an exam, passing which you will come to success.

Interesting

● No one is immune from dramatic turns of fate. Even geniuses. The example of one of the players of the Real Madrid football club is widely known. A freak car accident confined him to a wheelchair for a whole year. In the end, he managed to get back on his feet, but had to say goodbye to his brilliant football career. “What to do? After all, I don’t know how to do anything besides football!” – the former football player was tormented. Friends advised him to try himself in... the singing genre. And they were right. This is how the brilliant Julio Iglesias appeared to the world.

● The story of another famous person is no less significant. Before becoming famous in the literary field, he was... an accountant. Everything changed when the unknown Mr. Porter was accused of embezzlement and went to prison. Out of melancholy and hopelessness, he began to write stories. He emerged from prison as a popular short story writer known under the pseudonym O'Henry.

Bad advice

7 Sure Ways to Lose Your Job

1. Have no plans.

2. Fail to maintain and update your skills and abilities.

3. Do not provide any results.

4. Believing that you are indispensable.

5. Surround yourself with sycophants.

6. Forgetting to give credit to others.

7. Do not “advertise” your work achievements.

First aid for depression

Depression is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders and most people need help to overcome it. WHO estimates that around 300 million people are affected worldwide. The numbers are staggering; depression is a global epidemic. People who suffer from this illness definitely need help, otherwise it can develop into a serious psychological problem.

Symptoms of depression are:

• prolonged sadness or feelings of hopelessness;
• low energy level;
• fatigue;
• anxiety or restlessness;
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies;
• sleep problems;
• slow movement or speech;
• guilt;
• unexplained physical pain;
• thoughts of suicide or death;

By the way

Stress caused by dismissal is more pronounced in men. Women are more resilient to the blows of fate and react flexibly to stressful situations. People of retirement age, as well as those who cross the “dangerous” age limits, experience the loss of work very painfully: the so-called age of first adulthood (33-35/35-37 years) and mature age – 46-48/52-54.

The level of stress experienced also depends on the psychological type to which a person belongs. Temperamental, sociable people, although they take the news of dismissal hard, overcome the stressful situation relatively quickly. As a rule, two weeks are enough for them to be free from stress. Another thing is that people are phlegmatic and withdrawn. Their stress develops progressively and lasts for a long period.

If you are depressed, you need help

Unfortunately, in the modern world we are driven into the framework of many, sometimes conflicting demands. Too often, self-care doesn't make it onto our to-do list. As a result, some of us have more resources and are able to manage our stress for longer, but sooner or later, a lack of self-care will have a negative impact on everyone. And this is especially true for people experiencing depression. Neglecting to meet any of your basic needs can lead to worsening symptoms and increased severity of the disease.

Help with stress and depression

Psychologists and psychotherapists almost always advocate physical self-care practices. When diagnosing depression, many doctors ask their patients to make a number of lifestyle changes, including healthy eating and exercise. Of course, this alone will not cure your depression; for this you need psychological help from an experienced psychotherapist, but it will give you the extra boost you need to manage your symptoms of depression, when combined with medications and/or psychotherapy.