We are used to thinking that success is a precise formula of talent, luck and intelligence. The good news is you don't need it all. Experts believe there is only one definitive predictor of success: mental toughness.
Call it willpower or stubbornness. It is a relentless effort to push yourself to grow and be better in every endeavor you undertake.
Without excuses or self-pity, if you want to win, you will do everything in your power. Do you think you've got it? Let's figure it out. You are mentally stronger than average if:
You have an equalizer for your emotions
There is a huge misconception about mental toughness. People think that being mentally strong means you don't have to be emotional. But this is not true. Mental toughness doesn't require you to stop feeling your emotions. It only means the ability to balance your emotions using logic.
Mentally strong people understand that emotions do not negatively impact success. Emotions play a vital role in making better decisions when mixed with a healthy dose of logic.
Emotionality only stops you when you allow it to consume you, but acknowledging your feelings is really important for your well-being.
You admit your weakness
Mentally strong people don't believe they are immune to failure, they simply don't let their weaknesses stop them from trying.
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While other people make excuses for what they can't do, you make workarounds.
Either you delegate tasks that you cannot complete or you develop a plan to achieve success.
For you, your weaknesses are not obstacles, they are just problems that you need to overcome.
You know when to leave
You are stubborn. You don't give up - unless there's a very good reason. Being mentally strong also means knowing when it's time to quit.
There is a phenomenon called the “sunken cost fallacy,” which means continuing to pursue a certain goal due to the unfounded logic that you have already invested so much energy and time into it.
But for a mentally strong person, being aware of your limitations is something you have no trouble recognizing.
Of course you are stubborn. You push yourself more than other people. However, even you know that there are things beyond your capabilities.
Healthy Relationships
The foundation of a healthy relationship is boundaries .
You treat others fairly, which means you love and respect those who are worthy and do not waste your resources (time, money, energy) on toxic people or tolerate their abusive and harassing behavior.
If you encounter something that seems toxic or unhealthy, you make a decision about what to do rather than reacting emotionally or passively accepting it. You regularly review your relationships with other people and come to conclusions that will help maintain your boundaries.
You focus on "intrinsic motivations"
Intrinsic motivation is what comes from within you. Instead of focusing on external rewards such as money, fame, etc., you are internally motivated to do things for yourself.
This includes doing better, being better, and pushing yourself to be stronger. These things in themselves are your reward.
Mentally strong people know that true success comes from within. The rest follows.
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Emotional literacy and self-reflection
You are in touch with your emotions. You are able to recognize exactly what you feel, why, and what it means in relation to your existence.
You will take time to look back and reflect on what is happening in your inner and outer world. You think about what has happened in your life and what is happening, and actively make decisions about your behavior and actions based on your true emotions and reality.
You are effectively processing your past traumas and growing as a person.
You don't let life happen
Mentally strong people don't wait for things to happen. You are mentally tougher than average if you don't let life happen to you. Instead, you initiate an action.
How do you do it? Setting goals.
According to a study published in the International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, elite athletes credit goal setting as one of the biggest contributors to mental performance.
Small goals, big goals, short-term or long-term goals - you make it all a process of moving towards something.
In a nutshell: you are simply ready to take action. And it has a big impact on how you do things.
How can a weak person become stronger?
There are no hopeless people. Anyone can become stronger if they want. You should get rid of your shortcomings gradually. To do this, follow the advice of psychologists.
- Play sports. The key to mental strength is body strength. Make yourself a rule: go to the gym in any weather, regardless of laziness. Morning jogging can also train endurance and willpower. Develop a healthy lifestyle habit and it will make you stronger.
- Set goals for yourself. A goal is a clearly formulated dream. But this alone is not enough. You need to go to achieve your goal.
- Say what you think. When expressing your opinion, do not be afraid to defend it. This is one of the skills of a strong person.
- Don't be afraid of failure. Think of a roller coaster: the fall is followed by a rapid rise. Failures are also experiences, albeit negative ones. By avoiding it, you will not learn to overcome obstacles.
- Don't blame others for your own failures. If something doesn’t work out, it’s not the circumstances or other people who are to blame. Learn to take responsibility for actions, analyze thoughts, feelings and intentions.
- Love yourself. Low self-esteem will not help you achieve what you want. You will have to get rid of negativity towards yourself gradually, but it is achievable.
- Find something you like. It can be related to your main life goal, or it can become a hobby that helps you relax after a hard day. When you devote yourself to what you love, immerse yourself in it headlong, and this will help you achieve results in your chosen field.
- Read books. How does what we call “general development” happen? By plunging into a fictional story, the reader projects it onto himself. The algorithm of actions is postponed on a subconscious level, so in a situation close to the one in which the literary hero was, you will know what to do.
- Fantasize. Dream, play out “what if?..” situations and don’t bury your own creative abilities. And even approach ordinary tasks with a dose of imagination. This way it will be easier to deal with them, and the world will open up to you with new interesting facets.
- Let go of the negativity. No, you don't need to wear rose-colored glasses. But the world is not a minefield. There is a place for good people and good intentions.
- Say no. Don't force yourself and don't do something to the detriment of your own interests. Fulfilling the desires and whims of strangers will not lead you to success.
- Get rid of unnecessary people. Let them go from your life and surround yourself with those individuals with whom you are interested and from whom you have something to learn.
- Help others. You can become a volunteer or simply feed a homeless kitten. Such actions change a personality, make it stronger and kinder.
Remember that there are no exceptionally strong or weak people. We are all strong in our own way, but sometimes we need support and understanding. Therefore, a strong person is not alone. He helps loved ones and is not afraid to ask for reciprocity if he needs it.
Do you understand that life is a "circle"
Mentally strong people deeply understand that life is not and cannot be a permanent state of bliss.
They know that life has ups and downs. And happiness is simply a state of being, not a permanent emotion.
In fact, mentally strong people expect adversity.
You are mentally stronger than average because you know that problems and suffering are a part of life. Not only that, but you believe that they are the reasons why you have strong willpower.
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Do you understand the commitment
Commitment is something that mentally strong people have in abundance. They don't do anything halfway. Either they do it completely or not at all.
You are mentally stronger than others when you give 100% of yourself in whatever you choose to do. However, you are not necessarily committed because you just want to succeed.
You know that you will definitely face failures. Yes, sometimes with big failures. But for you, the important takeaways in each task are the lessons and experiences you learn from them.
Rational consciousness
See reality as it is. You perceive reality meaningfully using reason, logic, observation and common sense. In comparison, irrational people, even if they are quite logical, may come up with conclusions or connections that make sense primarily to them, but they lack objectivity and are not forward-thinking.
You will be able to maintain a high degree of awareness when you accept a situation, or deceive yourself by being unable to regulate your emotions.
It is important to be in the present moment, without being stuck in the past or dwelling in the future.
You understand that "self-improvement" is necessary, but "self-acceptance" is equally important
The idea of “self-improvement” can sometimes be taken out of context. People follow this religiously because they forget how to be content with themselves.
As a mentally strong person, you understand that balance is key.
You know there are many things to learn, improve and discover. But you also balance it out with a hefty dose of self-acceptance.
You love and acknowledge things that make you stronger. However, you recognize that your “weaknesses” are not a death sentence, but a fact of life.
Paul Anderson (1932-1994)
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He is rightfully considered one of the most powerful people in history. The 1956 Olympic gold medalist set and broke many records. He is best known for his incredible unofficial 567kg squat record - no doping, no equipment, just pure 50's power. He entered the Guinness Book of Records in 1985 as the person who lifted the heaviest weight in history - he lifted a weight of 2844 kg with his shoulders. He also set a record by lifting a weight of 172 kg above his head with one hand.
you are modest
Mentally strong people do not enjoy external gratification. Everything they need they get from within themselves.
One sure sign that you are mentally stronger than usual is if you don't feel the need to show off.
You're good at certain things, you don't need to post videos of you doing them. You've achieved something great, but you don't have to shout it to the world.
Bragging is a waste of energy. You focus on honing your skills rather than showing them off.
Louis Cyr (1863-1912)
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The height of this Canadian strongman was only 177 cm, but his chest circumference reached 137 cm. The former Montreal police officer participated in wrestling and weightlifting competitions. He traveled around the world performing feats of strength, pulling four horses and pushing a freight car up a ramp in front of stunned audiences. His most famous feat was lifting on his back a platform containing 18 people - the weight of this platform was approximately 1967 kg. One day he lifted a stone weighing 211 kg from the ground onto his shoulder. He also set a record for lifting the heaviest weight with one hand - 123 kg.
