In this article we will tell you:
- Birth and initial stages of relationships
- Falling in love is the first stage of a relationship
- Stage 2 of relationships – oversaturation
- 3rd stage of relationship – rejection
- Stage 4 of relationship development – patience and only patience
- Service Relationship Stage
- Laying the Foundation for a Serious Relationship at the Respect Stage
- The main stage of a relationship is love
- Characteristics of relationship stages by month
- Stages of relationships between a man and a woman by year
The stages of a relationship are a chain of natural changes in a pair of men and women, starting from acquaintance and ending with true love. Someone goes through all the stages and finds happiness, someone is afraid to take the next step forward or understands that this step should be intended for another person, and someone is simply not ready to move to the next level.
Every stage of a relationship, even the most difficult, is a normal course of events. And the candy-bouquet period will end someday, and the period of testing the strength of the relationship will also end. If a couple wisely goes through all the difficulties, then the man and woman will find happiness in their life together. Read about how each stage of a relationship is characterized and approximately how long each of them lasts.
Birth and initial stages of relationships
Before a relationship begins to develop, you need to find a person with whom you want to go through life hand in hand. Basically, people roughly understand what kind of partner they would like to see next to them, and with age and the emergence of some experience, his image becomes more and more distinct.
It often prevents you from meeting people who differ from the ideal picture drawn long ago, but could become excellent partners in a relationship. As a rule, we look at a person and quickly make a conclusion about whether he is suitable for us or not. But what can you understand about people after a few minutes of conversation or even one meeting? Yes, sometimes a person immediately demonstrates not the most pleasant character traits, and there is not the slightest doubt that a relationship with him will not work out. But it also happens that the counterpart is embarrassed, timid, behaves unnaturally, which is why a wrong impression is formed about him.
Often people are fascinated by each other literally right away, start dating and even live together, but as time passes it becomes clear that they are completely unsuitable for each other: different psychotypes, different views on some basic things in life, etc. At the initial stage of a relationship, a woman and a man make mistakes that eventually force them to separate.
This preliminary stage can be considered fast if, for example, a couple gets married at lightning speed. This speed of development has both positive and negative aspects. It’s wonderful when people are so in love and attached to each other that they cannot separate for a minute, they want to always be together. This state of euphoria gives rise to thoughts about marriage. However, such a rapid development of relationships almost inevitably leads to disappointing discoveries: it gradually becomes clear that the partner is endowed with certain shortcomings, is not adapted to everyday life, or does not think about the future at all. A showdown begins, mutual claims begin, the marriage eventually fails, and the newlyweds themselves wonder why they even officially confirmed their relationship.
It is necessary to understand that before going to the registry office, it is important to go through all the stages of building relationships, get used to each other, test your feelings for strength in various life situations, and only then make a decision about creating a real family.
Ideally, partners should gradually go through the initial stages of a relationship
.
- First stage
: uncertainty. People are just getting to know each other and forming a basic impression of a potential partner.
- Second phase
: rapprochement. Everyone in the couple still lives their own life, but the other person begins to occupy an increasing place in it, meetings occur more often, people become closer.
- Third stage
: falling in love. People assume mutual obligations. They view themselves as a couple, emotional and physical intimacy appears, while each has their own interests and their own separate lives.
The early stage of a relationship is extremely important
– at this moment their foundation is laid, trust is formed, an understanding of how to build correct and comfortable interaction for both. Often people break up because they fundamentally misperceive the union of lovers. Many people think that a couple is an absolute interpenetration, an interweaving of lives, dissolution in a partner. However, harmony in relationships arises only when two self-sufficient psychologically mature people make a balanced decision to be together. Each of them has their own interests (which, however, can intersect), personal space, the opportunity to retire if necessary, but at the same time they are confident that their loved one will be there in sorrow and in joy, will support, and will never betray .
How to recognize unhealthy (dangerous) relationships
The first date is the moment when people want to make the most pleasant impression on each other. Therefore, they will carefully hide all the dark sides of their character. It happens that a person “opens up” after years of living together. Psychologists have identified warning signs that may indicate that the future chosen one is a tyrant at heart.
- Excessive insistence of the partner: he wants the relationship to develop rapidly, and claims that he experienced love at first sight.
- His image is completely built on deception.
- He has difficulty expressing his feelings and does not show compassion for others.
- Shows unhealthy feelings of jealousy.
- He is offended by the whole world and believes that everyone owes him.
- He is irresponsible and arrogant.
- He often shows aggression and loves to be alone.
Falling in love is the first stage of a relationship
One of the most pleasant periods in the life of any person is the period of falling in love: the world is filled with light, butterflies flutter in the stomach, the loved one fills everything around him. The conditional duration of this stage is 18 months.
Harvard professor Helen Fisher conducted a study and found that people actively release so-called love hormones during the acute phase of falling in love. They neutralize negative emotions, suppress rational thinking, make a person immune to everything bad, in terms of physiology he seems to be under the influence of drugs - everything is so good and wonderful during this period in his world. This lasts for about a year and then gradually subsides. People study each other and cannot get enough of new discoveries.
Helen Fisher - American anthropologist, researcher of human behavior and author of self-improvement techniques
During this period, you want to be the best for your loved one, to demonstrate yourself in all your glory, but the main thing here is not to overdo it. By forming an ideal image, you can drive yourself into a trap and, in order not to disappoint your partner, continue to play a role that is unusual for yourself. It’s trite but true: it’s better to be yourself without trying to portray someone, because sooner or later everything secret becomes clear, the euphoria of the first months of falling in love dissipates, and the person appears as he really is. Relationships at the first stage should not turn into an exhibition of achievements. The task of everyone in a couple is to create comfortable conditions for the other person, allowing him to open up without feeling awkward.
Satiation
It is impossible to imagine the stages of a relationship without the second stage. It comes inevitably. The lovers in the first segment managed to “get enough” of each other, so they gradually lose the urgent need to constantly be nearby, fulfilling the desires of their other half. The intensity of passion fades away and is replaced by a calm feeling of love. Relationships begin to resemble a calm sea: everything goes peacefully, predictably, smoothly, quietly. The danger of this period lies in the possible discrepancy in the psychological readiness of one of the partners to leave the phase of falling in love. A man or woman does not want to take off their rose-colored glasses and return to reality, demanding that their other half “continue the banquet.” As a result, they become completely dependent on their loved one.
The saturation period lasts from 6 months to 1.5-2 years. If couples soberly evaluate each other, then they overcome the difficulties of this period and successfully move to the next stage of the relationship.
Stage 2 of relationships – oversaturation
A year passes, and people get used to each other, meetings no longer cause some incredible euphoria and are taken for granted. Often lovers decide to move in together.
For some, the onset of this stage of a relationship comes as an unpleasant surprise; it seems to them that the absence of a storm of emotions is a clear sign that love has passed, but this is not so (or not always so). The euphoria simply dissipated, and the partners began to perceive each other more realistically; they saw not only the advantages of their loved one, but also his shortcomings. Life seemed to have returned to normal. And this is not bad at all.
If in the early stages of a relationship there is an excessive idealization of the partner’s image, reality can hit you hard on the head when the rose-colored glasses fall off. But it is not the partner’s fault that he was perceived differently from what he really is.
When the acute phase of falling in love passes and the hormonal explosion stops, people begin to look at each other and relationships from a different angle. It turns out that the person slurps and periodically says some nonsense, throws dirty socks around and is always late, does not know how to cook, and generally does some nonsense in life. The desire to go out somewhere together, come up with surprises, etc. gradually fades away. People think that perhaps this is not the relationship they need, and that the person they previously loved is not who they seemed to be all this time. It is often during this period that couples break up. Some people's feelings really fade away, while others simply don't want to work on the relationship and are afraid of a new stage.
Those who have maintained relationships have a need to somehow harmonize them, make them more understandable, deep, and conscious. However, this is not so easy to implement.
What to do in this situation?
- Clear
. It is vitally important to talk to each other, discuss what is happening around, explain your view of things, try to understand your partner’s train of thought. After all, we are so different that often things that are quite obvious and acceptable to one person seem completely incomprehensible to another. Conflicts arise on this basis, which can be avoided if you just talk.
- Agree
. The basis of relationships is compromise. People in a couple are two separate universes. Each person acquired certain habits and attitudes during their life, developed some characteristic patterns of behavior, and, in the end, found a hobby. And now it is necessary to combine all this baggage with the baggage of another person. Of course, there will be a conflict of interest that will have to be resolved through compromise.
A couple is a small state that itself establishes certain rules and laws acceptable to both
. At the same time, they may diverge from the generally accepted ones, the main thing is that the lovers feel comfortable. And if it is accepted in society that a man earns money and a woman looks after the children, this does not mean that you specifically cannot do the opposite.
Stages of relationship destruction
Any relationship does not collapse out of the blue. A person gradually realizes that the usual course of life is changing. The changes that are taking place disrupt mental comfort, which is replaced by conflicting feelings that something is going wrong. This is the first stage of relationship destruction. The person here acts as an observer: silently analyzes the events taking place. The irritation and feelings of rejection that characterize this stage are suppressed. A man or woman is trying to maintain a union without giving vent to unpleasant emotions.
How long does the candy-bouquet period last? Psychologists unanimously say - no more than six months. It turns out that after 6 months, one of the partners may begin to feel the first signals of a crisis in the relationship.
In the second stage of relationship destruction, dissatisfaction with the partner reaches its peak. People begin to say what irritates them so much about their chosen one. It’s good if this happens in the form of a calm dialogue. But more often, irritation is expressed in the form of insults, complaints and humiliation of another person.
The third stage is constant conflicts. Partners cannot agree with each other and do not want to understand one another. This can last for years.
The fourth phase is called despair. A person clings to the last opportunity to save an existing relationship. Here the chosen one often shows dissatisfaction in a harsh form.
The fifth stage is the destruction of the union. The partners are so tired of each other, of constant conflicts and misunderstandings, that it is easier for them to break up. The last phase seems to be the most rapid, because a person often does not realize that he has already experienced 4 previous stages of the destruction of his union.
3rd stage of relationship – rejection
Overcoming the above stages of relationships, the couple comes to stage 3. This is a rather difficult period, which is characterized by uncertainty about the correctness of the choice made. A person may seriously question whether their partner is truly right for them. The chemical reactions that have been raging in the body for the previous months stop or become less pronounced, people begin to soberly evaluate their relationships, wonder whether they can live with this particular person all their lives, start a family, give birth to children. Many are faced with a choice - to leave or stay.
Sometimes when conflict situations arise, the feeling that the wrong person is nearby can get worse. And this is where many people make a mistake: instead of working through the problem, they simply leave without giving the relationship the opportunity to reach the next, more stable level. Often those who are in an eternal search for the ideal partner end all their relationships at the “Rejection” stage.
In this difficult time, it is important to consciously approach the ongoing grinding process, take responsibility for the relationship upon yourself, and not constantly shift it to your partner, try to analyze your emotions and reactions, draw conclusions, discuss all the problems that arise, without resorting to shouting and mutual accusations.
You need to understand that most couples go through this period. For some it goes easily and almost unnoticed, for others it becomes a real test of strength. As a result, the union becomes stronger, people begin to feel each other’s emotions better, understand how to behave correctly to make the partner feel comfortable, and at the same time learn to build personal boundaries. This is a lot of work, and you need to be prepared to do it properly in order to jointly take the relationship to the next stage.
conclusions
Every couple goes through universal stages of relationships. But it depends only on you what this path will be. Initial love develops into warm feelings and interest. We are rediscovering love in a new stage. The secret of a strong relationship is not endless love, but the ability to solve problems and find compromises. We gradually master the language of love, learn to speak, and begin to better understand the goals and values of the other person. Of course, even in the strongest relationships there are quarrels. But if you have learned to overcome conflicts, you have nothing to fear anymore. Now you have tools in your arsenal that will help you solve problems. You can enjoy the journey. In the later stages, self-development becomes a source of inspiration. Personal growth opens up new facets of personality. Couples continue to develop their relationship. Love will last as long as you are interested in each other.
Of course, sometimes no advice helps. And the couple decides to separate. But even a breakup can be constructive. Breaking up is an experience (albeit a negative one) that will allow you to avoid similar mistakes in the future. Often it is simply impossible to continue the relationship. Falling in love hides the abusive nature of the relationship. If you notice that your partner is showing signs of a toxic relationship, it is better to leave. Such relationships cannot be corrected and returned to normal.
Stage 4 of relationship development – patience and only patience
Another difficult stage, in a sense a turning point. Usually a couple has been in a relationship for a long time, their life together has been established, they have common children and property. All these factors often prevent people from pursuing self-realization; they are focused on fulfilling the responsibilities assigned to them over time: making money, raising children, paying off a mortgage, and much more. Everyday life begins to consume lovers; they have less and less opportunities to be alone and spend time with pleasure, forgetting about bills, debts, shopping, and so on. Many begin to feel dissatisfied with life, lonely, and suffer from a lack of self-realization.
At this time, it is necessary to give the partner the opportunity to show his individuality and support his aspirations for something new. At the same time, it is important to look for reserves within yourself so as not to get bogged down in the routine of everyday life. When people have a hobby, even if everyone in a couple has their own, they are more interested together, new topics for conversation appear, some plans, ideas, aspirations, life is not limited to living together. A hobby does not have to have some kind of global scale. The main thing is that a person realizes his potential and desires.
If partners respect each other, have learned to read mutual emotions and needs, and no one tries to dominate, we can talk about successfully overcoming the “Patience” stage.
But it often happens that people disperse without being able to complete this path. For example, the children have grown up and moved away, and the man and woman are left alone and do not understand what connects them now. It turns out that only their common children kept them together, and now these two essentially lonely people are faced with a cruel reality. Many, out of habit, continue to live together, getting stuck at the “Patience” stage, while others break up because they do not see a future together.
People in couples who have successfully moved to the next stage become calmer, do not try to prove to their partner that they are right, accept their position, minimize conflicts and quarrels, talk about their feelings, and allow their loved one to engage in self-realization.
Adoption
Having overcome the crisis and decided to stay together, the couple moves to a new stage of relationship development - acceptance. What are the distinctive features of the fourth stage of a relationship? Partners have passed many tests and are no longer trying to “crush” their lover under themselves. They learn patience, overcome disagreements more easily and are able to turn a blind eye to their partner’s minor shortcomings.
The couple is increasingly replacing constant scandals and quarrels with dialogues. The lovers are trying to come to an agreement and find a compromise solution. They strive to achieve harmony and comfort by changing themselves, and not their partner, his views on life and habits.
The “Service” Relationship Stage
A new stage in relationships is “service”. During this period, we can say that true love took the place of falling in love. This is manifested in selflessness of actions, the desire to make the partner’s life pleasant and comfortable, while the initial stages of the development of relations between a man and a woman are often characterized by a desire to satisfy one’s own needs and ambitions. Now there is a natural desire to serve a loved one and not demand anything in return.
At this stage, people consciously choose their roles and responsibilities; it is as if they are signing an agreement about who is responsible for what in the couple. Everyone sincerely wants to be part of this union, to make it strong, reliable, and comfortable. Of course, for this it is important to communicate, discuss everything that is happening, and express your emotions. Whatever happens, the partners undertake to fulfill this unspoken agreement, but at the same time make mutual concessions if necessary.
Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman after a breakup
An ideal relationship between a man and a woman is what every couple in love strives for. But in reality, this is not always possible and not everyone succeeds. As we have already discussed, at any stage of a relationship there is a threat of separation. And perhaps this is the most difficult thing that people who were once in a relationship will have to endure.
When a relationship breaks up, partners go through certain stages:
- Denial - non-acceptance of what is happening, hope for the return of a loved one and restoration of relationships in the previous format. This is a kind of protective reaction of the psyche from emotional pain and suffering.
- Aggression is the search for someone to blame for what happened, the realization that everything is over. Containing feelings most often results in aggression, not necessarily against a former lover; those who are currently nearby and provide support in a difficult situation can also fall under attack.
- An attempt to return - when the negative emotions subside, the injured party begins to look for reasons and opportunities to restore the relationship, while being fully ready to sacrifice their principles, rules, and find compromises on issues that caused disagreements and conflicts.
- Depression is the most severe stage, which can take the longest period of all. There is no longer any hope of renewing the relationship, and then sadness sets in. It seems that no one and nothing can fill the spiritual emptiness that has formed after the departure of a loved one. From this moment the revival begins.
- Acceptance - the severity of the experience has already dulled, the person has found the strength to cope with depression and move on.
The time it takes for this crisis to pass is individual in each case, but on average it can last about a year. The most important thing is not to start the process of getting “stuck” at one of the stages, otherwise everything will drag on indefinitely.
Women are more susceptible to getting stuck, because separation may be accompanied by the emergence of problems of a social or financial nature. In addition, as you know, women are more emotional than men, so experiences are more common for them.
But this does not mean that men experience less suffering during separation. Natural endurance and masculinity hide real experiences, and the ways to overcome them are somewhat different (alcohol, constant change of partners, sports, work, fast driving, etc.). But in the end, it still won’t get easier until you go all the way to the stage of accepting the collapse of the union.
An important question that often arises among former partners after a breakup - how to forget someone who just recently occupied your entire world - allows us to consider the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman.
So how can you find the strength to live on?
- Go through all the stages of separation in a timely manner, without allowing any of them to become “stuck.” The optimal time for each is 2-4 weeks.
- Exclude your ex-partner from your life completely - do not look for meetings, do not explore social networks in search of changes in your personal life, do not meet with mutual friends, delete all reminders of your ex-lover.
- Contact a psychologist, if necessary, to analyze and analyze the current situation and overcome the crisis.
- Think about yourself, your hobbies, hobbies, or better yet, find a new activity that will distract you from the current situation. An excellent option is to go in for sports, here hormones and corresponding chemical reactions come into play.
- Love yourself, do not engage in self-flagellation, blaming for the current problems. Both men and women who have been abandoned are prone to this - to feel guilty, to think that something is wrong with them.
- Avoid communicating with people who drive you into depression with questions about your ex-partner and a desire to “help.”
- Do not rush into new relationships, trying to drown out the pain from the old ones. Such a union will most likely quickly cease to exist, since an unlived and unresolved painful situation will not allow building a harmonious relationship. As a result, this will lead to low self-esteem and self-flagellation.
The psychology of relationships between a man and a woman considers the question of how to return a loved one after a breakup, but this is an illusion, do not fall into its network.
Laying the Foundation for a Serious Relationship at the Respect Stage
People come to the “Respect” stage with a huge amount of knowledge about their partner. Moreover, this knowledge has practical daily application. Everyone in a couple is strongly attached to their loved one, trusts him completely, feels gratitude, and mutual understanding reigns between people.
Relationships at this stage do not require such serious work as at the beginning, because it has already been done, all mistakes have most likely been made, corrected and taken into account. Ideally, a couple is a harmonious union of two self-sufficient people who have the opportunity to realize their desires and are confident in the support of their partner in any situation. They need each other, but this is not a painful dependence, but a desire to be close and give each other warmth, comfort, love.
Of course, this does not mean that at this stage people cannot feel irritated, angry or dissatisfied with each other. But the essence of a properly built relationship is to be able to talk about your feelings so that your partner hears and draws the necessary conclusions, corrects or supports.
Disgust
At the third stage of the relationship, lovers face serious challenges. What is special about the third stage of relationship development?
Idealized ideas about a partner are replaced by reality. The lovers have “cooled down” enough and are able to soberly evaluate the object of their love. Now his shortcomings are coming to the surface and driving him crazy. Unsolved problems also surface.
Lovers constantly quarrel and make claims against each other. Any little thing can cause a disagreement. The couple has serious doubts about the correctness of their choice. Such thoughts and constant disagreements often lead to the decision to break up.
Key Relationship Stages Couples Go Through: Pexels
The main stage of a relationship is love
Having gone through all the stages of a relationship, the couple reaches the most important stage, which is called “Love”. This is the most calm and harmonious period in the life of lovers.
People already know each other so well that there is simply no need to conflict or make mutual claims. They have learned to listen and hear each other, they feel how to make their partner satisfied and happy, and what not to do so as not to cause irritation and provoke an unnecessary quarrel for anyone. Relationships are characterized by confidence in each other, mutual respect, lack of demands and hidden grievances.
Everyone in the couple takes responsibility for their actions without shifting it to the partner, invests as much as possible in the relationship, without demanding anything in return, but at the same time receives in abundance.
The last stage is successfully reached by those people who are ready to change themselves, listen to their loved one, compromise, but at the same time can talk about their feelings, desires and needs, and convey their emotions to their partner.
Sixth stage8
The penultimate stage of a relationship, in which partners become not just lovers, parents, but true friends. There comes a time when another unwashed cup no longer causes an explosion of emotions, sex is not so bright, but emotional intimacy covers everything in full. These are two truly close people who steadfastly withstood all the hardships and difficulties, found the secrets of understanding, fulfilled their duty to their children, went through all the temptations and stayed together. This is where the desired fairy tale comes in, in which “they lived happily ever after” best describes the state of things.
Although a person has been known for a long time, there are new traits and virtues for which one can respect, admire, glorify and be proud. Love has not yet reached the stage of highest meaning, but is already very close to it. Two people talk cheerfully and openly, ready to spend time together. Relationships are built on dedication, boundless trust and defense of common interests.
Characteristics of relationship stages by month
To create a harmonious union, the normal development of relationships is necessary, the main stages of which cannot be skipped.
The most common scenarios in this process are:
:
- over time, people either fall more deeply in love, or their feelings fade away, which leads to separation;
- they marry and live together until the end;
- They get married, but in the end the marriage breaks down.
In the psychology of interpersonal relationships, there are several stages of their development. Let's look at what happens within a couple during the first year of communication.
Stages by month | Development of a relationship |
The first three months | The period of falling in love. People are attracted to each other, there is a tangible mutual sympathy. Meetings are still relatively rare, but there is a desire to see each other more often. A man at the initial stage of a relationship, as a rule, does not make long-term plans and does not want to commit himself; he simply enjoys the nascent relationship and sexual intimacy. A woman may even at this stage consider him as a partner for a long-term relationship. |
Four to six months | Over six months of a relationship, people become closer both physically and spiritually, they meet more often, and some obligations to each other appear. On the other hand, separation may already occur at this stage, since the woman expects the seriousness and stability of the relationship, but the man is not ready for this. |
Seven to nine months | This is the stage of the final acceptance of mutual obligations. People are starting to think about living together or even getting married. If this does not happen, although one of the partners is ready, a conflict may arise that can lead to separation. |
Ten to twelve months | By the end of the year, relations may begin to develop according to three scenarios.
|
In general, everyone in a couple in the first year of a relationship is in a state of euphoria and does not pay attention to those qualities and character traits of the partner that he may categorically dislike.
Periods of relationship
The first and basic rule is that any romantic relationship develops in its own way. Some people go through each step with lightning speed, others stretch it out for several years, others get fixated on one stage and cannot overcome it. Therefore, it is impossible to distinguish the stages of a relationship by month, you can only describe them and indicate the approximate duration.
Love
This period is also called “candy-bouquet”, and for good reason. This is the most romantic time when a couple just begins to find the positive sides of each other without noticing the negative ones. They are not yet subject to everyday life, responsibilities and restrictions. They experience euphoria, which is similar to the effects of some psychotropics. This is explained from a medical point of view - there is a large surge of hormones, and serotonin, endorphins and even adrenaline are produced. This “cocktail” in the blood excites more than any drug.
I will list the characteristic features of how you can identify lovers:
- Frequent meetings. Girls sometimes face a situation where in the first months a guy comes every day, not paying attention to illness, heavy rain and other circumstances.
- Correspondence, long conversations on the phone. This can also be explained by the fact that when people meet, they know little about each other; there are many topics that have never been discussed and seem interesting.
- Gifts, flowers, cafe. The guy wins the girl's attention. And unless she turns out to be too accessible, it will take him a long time to win her over.
- Lack of interest in the opposite sex.
The beginning of a relationship between a man and a woman can last from several months to a year and a half. During this period, it is important to get to know your partner, identify common interests and common ground. In addition, it is very important not to forget about yourself. When all the pleasure centers in the brain are active, there is not enough motivation to study, work, self-development, and meet with friends. If you don't do this, mutual reproaches may appear.
Psychologist Daria Milai
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Satiation
After a year, hormonal levels return to normal. And the “butterflies in the stomach” give way to reality. Here you can already see flaws in appearance, insufficient intellectual level, differences in interests, as well as everyday little things. Sometimes lovers take a responsible step in the first period and move in together. Living in the same house at the second stage of satiety is very unsafe, since it is necessary to regain personal space and set boundaries - mine/our/yours. It is very important to respect them and not violate them. The right position is to begin to be interested in what a man likes, and also to unobtrusively immerse him in your world.
Characteristic features of female and male behavior:
- Return to personal hobbies, work, study, friendships.
- Less joint entertainment and evenings.
- Formation of doubts and fears – did I make the right choice?
- Disagreements arise for any reason.
At this level, couples often break up. It is believed that the first anniversary is the most difficult. It’s especially bad when the partners’ progress through the stages is not synchronized; one has already crossed the threshold of falling in love and wants personal space, while the other still wears rose-colored glasses. This may seem intrusive and will be perceived negatively.
Rejection is the most dangerous phase of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Here the chemical elements in the blood actually cease to act, giving way to rational thinking. All the partner’s shortcomings, which were previously unnoticed, now come to the fore. The reason for this is the big difference between cultural and spiritual values and interests. Everyone tries to “remake”, change, teach their beloved, without seeing any flaws in themselves. The main question that torments you is the dilemma: “Did you make the right choice?”
Character traits:
- Constant quarrels, reproaches, claims, even scandals.
- Rapid irritability, internal grievances.
- Thoughts about cheating and finding a new boyfriend begin to develop.
- The idea appears that this is not true love.
Regarding the latter, I would like to say that we often have a false image of this feeling, which is advertised in films and books. But it mainly shows the first period of the relationship between a man and a woman.
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If you don’t want to break up, your task is to accept your partner with all his strengths and weaknesses, and not try to change him, to fit him to standards.
Patience
Often these are already married couples who may have already had children. Basically, the stage occurs in the third year of dating. Many people feel tired, doomed, dull and mundane in everyday life. But there are no more strong quarrels of the past.
Characteristics:
- Disagreements pass calmly, people accept each other’s opinions, even if they do not agree with their personal opinions.
- A person is no longer focused only on himself, he is looking for compromise solutions.
- Everyone understands the value of marriage.
It is important not just to tolerate other people’s characteristics and shortcomings, but to accept them. To do this, first of all you need to understand them - find out why your partner acts or thinks in a certain way, find the reasons. Tolerance comes with the realization that your partner may have a different view of things and should be respected as your own.
Service
As the couple learned to accept flaws and idiosyncrasies, the sense of possessiveness and selfishness gradually began to diminish. Their desires and demands fade into the background; people think more about how they can please their loved ones. This happens unconsciously - just at one moment you want to start preparing your husband’s favorite dishes, delight him in bed, surprise him, and not give him any reason to be upset. But the main rule is that all this is done completely sincerely and free of charge, without the desire to receive a response for this.
They begin to go through this stage when gratitude appears - for the years lived together, for the children they shared, for the care.
Character traits:
- The desire to give gifts, go somewhere, spend vacations together and just weekends and evenings is renewed.
- A man looks after his woman, and she tries in every way to please him.
- Quarrels occur, but they pass calmly, usually ending with a quick search for a compromise or concession.
- Reproaches disappear, they are replaced by finding a way out.
- People are starting to agree to things they wouldn’t do before.
The task of lovers during this period is to give unselfishly and receive with gratitude.
Respect
Since the relationship between a man and a woman begins with struggle and overcoming difficulties, now the couple simply enjoys what they have built together. They value each other’s contribution to the family, respect each other’s opinions, and fearlessly express theirs (by the way, they often coincide).
Characteristics:
- The presence of individual interests that the partner respects and does not interfere with them.
- Minimum number of disagreements.
- Most of the topics for quarrels have already been experienced, and optimal ways out have been found.
- Doubts go away - everyone is happy with their other half.
Love
Years later, we can talk about the deepest feeling. It is similar to falling in love, but if at the first stage the cause was fleeting hormones, now it is caused by experienced emotions and informed decisions. Less than half of couples reach this stage, which is why the divorce rate is so high.
Traits:
- A desire to spend time together, less wanting to leave home and meeting strangers.
- A calm experience of separation, because jealousy disappears and trust appears.
- Intentions to care for a loved one.
- During quarrels, there are no more accusations; everyone tries to understand themselves and discover the reason.
- I would like to give away for free.
The level of mutual understanding is very high.
The time it takes to build such deep feelings is unique for everyone. There are no universal deadlines or frameworks. Some selfish individuals, as well as self-obsessed individuals, are not able to recognize and feel love.
How to assess the seriousness of a man's intentions
We figured out how a relationship with a guy should develop step by step. Ideally, normal couples go through all these stages. But it happens that lovers break up at some stage. Or one partner moves to the next stage, and the other is not ready or does not want to. It turns out that there is no harmony and no further development.
Women intuitively feel how a serious relationship should develop. If you analyze the man’s behavior, everything becomes clear. However, a girl in love often refuses to believe in what is visible to the naked eye from the outside. And yet, if your chosen one delays the marriage proposal for a very long time, behaves strangely, take a closer look at him.
Psychology of relationships between a man and a woman at a distance
A long-distance relationship is a choice between two people. Whether to agree to them or break them depends on several conditions:
- how long have these relationships lasted and their prospects;
- duration of separation;
- current relationship status (marriage, have children, open relationship, etc.).
If this is a serious relationship, or the partners are married and have children, then a long-distance relationship is possible. And if the union is just beginning to develop and there are no feelings yet, then a long separation can lead to its disintegration. Before you decide whether to stay in a long-distance relationship or end it, read about the pros and cons of such a relationship.
Pros of long distance relationships:
- There is an opportunity to be alone. But don’t be afraid of this, sometimes you need time to be alone with yourself and think about what’s happening. Perhaps the time has come to understand yourself, remember your desires and realize them.
- There is a chance to check the reliability of a man’s word. If he promised to be faithful, will he keep it or not?
- In separation, an understanding comes: is this the person you want to be with?
- Not having a partner around for a while brings many couples closer together. Lovers begin to appreciate each other more, devote more time, and show care.
That is, overcoming such an obstacle as separation, you can strengthen and improve relationships, understand their value, and be convinced of stability and durability. But the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman does not exclude weakness.
Cons of long distance relationships:
- Lack of care and due attention. In some cases, forced separation limits communication opportunities.
- Mistrust and jealousy. Such relationships between a man and a woman are classified as sick in psychology. The result of such behavior will most likely be the collapse of the union.
- Attempts to establish total control due to mistrust and jealousy. Frequent calls, messages, and the involvement of loved ones for surveillance are used. Of course this won't lead to anything good.
- There is a high probability that new emotions, new acquaintances will “help” forget the past. The old life is replaced by a new one, and the old feelings are replaced by new ones.
As a result of the influence of negative factors, alienation arises between lovers and the relationship gradually fades away.
Whether a couple can survive a long-distance relationship depends on their personality type. The first type is self-sufficient individuals who are able to keep their word and occupy themselves during separation, and are emotionally stable. The second type is anxious, these are people who require support and constant attention, so they are not able to be alone for a long time. It is precisely the second type that begins to look for backup options on the side, allowing betrayal.
Use the advice of psychologists to save long-distance relationships:
- Communicate more often, call, write, answer calls from your loved one.
- Send your photos.
- Don't be jealous and don't give reasons for jealousy.
- Always support your partner, in any situation.
- In your free time, try to find an interesting activity that captivates and captivates you.
- Share both your achievements and problems with your partner.
If you approach the organization of separation correctly, then this period will not turn into a painful relationship between a man and a woman from a psychological point of view. But in any case, only you can decide whether to continue the relationship at a distance, or whether it is doomed and you should not try to bind each other with unfulfillable obligations.
Modern relationships between a man and a woman are considered in psychology in different aspects. There are many variations in relationship formats, nuances on how to preserve feelings and warnings on how not to provoke a breakup. Keep in mind that an unfinished relationship between a man and a woman just kills time, and a long-distance union can help to form a deep feeling and create a family.
Ideal relationships - do they exist?
“The image that a man creates when thinking about an ideal woman is similar to the image that a woman creates when thinking about an ideal man” - Marlene Dietrich
How should relationships develop correctly? Is there an ideal scenario for everyone?
Of course, ideals live only in our restless minds. However, if your romance ends at the stage of falling in love, it will forever remain in your memory as the happiest. More precisely, over time he will acquire the status of ideal, and the man will turn out to be the impeccable image of a prince on a white horse.
Why?
It's simple. At the peak of love, you do not notice your partner’s shortcomings and often endow him with non-existent advantages. This is fine. Everyone does it, even men. Therefore, when the villainous fate separates ardent lovers, they remember only good things about each other. They often cherish that bright feeling all their lives and sometimes think that they have missed their only happiness.
What other stages are there, and what happens at these moments in a couple?