You've probably heard such an example or even observed two different women in your life. One of them looks brand new, so well-mannered and cultured. But for some reason men avoid her. And another woman doesn’t go for a manicure so often or just files her nails at home, and doesn’t particularly follow fashion. But for some reason men love her. The thing is that femininity is a special feminine energy.
And this is not only the appearance, but, first of all, the internal state. This is why the lives of these two women are so different.
This article is about how to fill yourself with femininity from the inside so that it literally pours out of you.
About femininity
Femininity is what distinguishes a woman from a man. This is external and internal softness and warmth that attracts the strong half of humanity.
In psychology, this concept includes four levels:
- physical;
- emotional;
- intellectual;
- spiritual.
To become a real woman, you need to achieve femininity at all levels.
Physical layer
Being feminine on a physical level is the easiest way.
This includes the image of a lady:
- The outfit emphasizes the figure, but is not vulgar, emphasizes the advantages and hides the flaws. Don't blindly follow fashion. Fashionable does not mean feminine.
- The skin is clean, soft, well-groomed.
- Hair is smooth, silky, neatly styled.
- Nails are neatly trimmed and have smooth edges.
- Accessories - complement the image and suit the style.
- Shoes are clean, treated with cream. Not only stiletto heels are feminine, but also ballet flats and low-heeled shoes.
- The gait is light, smooth, mannered and flirtatious, without unnecessary haste or fuss. There should be grace and elegance in movements.
- Speech. Voice timbre, intonation, words used, and grammatical correctness are important.
Another component of the physical level is the ability to create space around yourself. Femininity is the ability, with the help of little things, to create such an atmosphere in the house so that the husband and children want to return faster from work or school.
Emotional level
Femininity on an emotional level is characterized by how at peace you live with yourself and how you treat other people.
Femininity is the ability to:
- Distinguish between the desires and needs of a loved one. Give him what he needs without the feeling of self-sacrifice.
- Do good to your loved ones without demanding the same in return.
- Be able to forgive and not hold grudges for years.
- Be able to ask for forgiveness and admit when you are wrong. Be sensual and don't be afraid of it.
- Always accept loved ones as they are. See the inner beauty of a person.
- Solve problems creatively.
- Support and inspire loved ones, even if you are not sure that they are right.
- Thank you, give gifts and receive them. Speak and accept kind words. The skills to give and receive are equally important.
The main quality of the emotional level of femininity is the ability to love and accept love. Experience such strong feelings that your partner has no doubts. He needs to know that you are a person he can rely on in any situation.
Intellectual level
A fool will never be feminine. Good manners, wisdom, education and good manners are integral features of a lady.
Intellectual femininity lies in the ability to:
- It's appropriate to talk. A feminine woman knows when to answer and when to keep information secret. She understands what to say and to whom.
- Behave correctly in society. The lady does not ask awkward questions and apologizes if necessary.
- Transfer responsibility, let others prove themselves.
- Have a personal opinion and express it tactfully.
- End the argument in time and compromise. A woman knows that the truth is not born in a dispute.
- Use knowledge for its intended purpose, and not boast about it.
An intellectually wise woman understands that she cannot know everything. She tries to become better and more educated every day.
Spiritual level
This level of femininity is the hardest to achieve. The woman's religion does not matter. The main thing is to be grateful for your family, home and other blessings.
Spiritual femininity can:
- Accept the blows of fate with your head held high, realizing that this will make you stronger.
- Ask the Higher Powers, without being afraid to open your soul to them.
- Help people around, support them.
There is no such thing as partial femininity. It must be harmonious on all four levels. If a girl proves to others that she is feminine, then she is not. Femininity does not require verbal confirmation.
Afterword
Femininity is a complex of external and internal qualities attributed to women and expected from them. Men's ideas about femininity are approximately the same, and we have examined them. But every man has his own ideal of a woman. Femininity is only one aspect, and not every image of an ideal woman is inherent. Some people like strong-willed, masculine girls.
Femininity or its absence does not indicate the happiness or unhappiness of a woman, a couple of a man and a woman. What is more important is what image a woman is comfortable in, what kind of man she needs and what kind of woman he needs. Read more about female ideals and male preferences in the article “Which female images are attractive to men from a psychological point of view.”
Is being feminine an innate or acquired quality?
Femininity is a symbiosis of innate and acquired qualities. Every person has a genetically determined temperament. Phlegmatic, choleric, sanguine or melancholic. Who we will be is known even before we are born.
A person acquires character throughout his life through upbringing, the influence of teachers, and classmates. Femininity, being a combination of different character traits, cannot be completely innate. Not only the influence of others plays a role in the formation of a woman.
So, auto-training matters. This is the ability to find the best in yourself. Self-confidence, awareness of the feminine principle, acceptance of shortcomings is the first step towards achieving femininity. Before auto-training, take a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take a break from extraneous sounds. It is better if there is no one in the room at all.
Examples:
- The first option for auto-training is visualization. Imagine peaceful pictures: the ocean, golden sand, quiet forest and birdsong. Once you have been able to relax, visualize the dream and yourself in it. Daily exercises will make a person purposeful, confident that the goal is closer than it seems.
- The second way is affirmations. These are short positive statements that give a boost of energy for the whole day, increase self-esteem and make a woman more confident in her abilities.
Examples of affirmations for every day:
- I'm happy to be a woman.
- I am the embodiment of the goddess Aphrodite.
- I radiate love, tenderness and lightness.
- My masculinity only appears in extreme cases when I tell him to.
- I am a loving and faithful wife.
- I am a wise and caring mother.
- The inner woman gives me attractiveness and charm.
- If I want, I allow myself to be sensual, sexy and open.
- I enjoy my body and accept it as it is.
- I love and deserve to be loved.
Before repeating affirmations, do a visualization exercise to help you relax.
Other short statements can be found on the Internet on social networks (VK, Facebook). There are many groups where women share their own affirmations.
Problem from childhood
To be honest, as a psychologist, the frivolous ideal is not very close to me. So I will offer my understanding of femininity - a positive attitude towards your gender and your body. And therefore this concept does not correlate with the love of pink dresses or manipulation of men. To be feminine means to accept your sexuality in the broadest sense of the word and find many advantages in it
And whether you’re wearing stiletto heels or wearing a helmet and a fire hose is not so important
Alas, the truth is that not all representatives of the fair sex are delighted with their own bodily capabilities and limitations. Some desperately resist the idea of motherhood, others suffer from feelings of inferiority and fiercely compete with men. Others quietly hate their bodies as a source of frustration. To paraphrase the classic, there are many unhappy people, and everyone is unhappy in their own way.
The difference in the experience of one’s own gender should be sought in communication with the closest person – the mother
. A parent, satisfied with her marriage, child, and friendly support, demonstrates femininity every day, as a matter of course. But the mother, exhausted, irritated, having long forgotten about self-love, is a different story. “My pregnancy was a nightmare”, “men love cheeky people, but you and I are not like that”, “you know who is fixated on their appearance.” These sincere, but not the most constructive, maternal beliefs are the building blocks of our ideas about sexual relationships.
Without wanting it, the unhappy mother broadcasts: being a woman is a so-so job. It is joyless, difficult, dangerous. It is not surprising that, having learned her mother’s lesson at a young age, the girl completely forgets about her charm. She seems to be trying to belittle female nature in order to avoid the vicissitudes of fate. Growing up, such a girl can become her favorite boyfriend, a strong specialist - anyone, but not a beautiful woman.
Feminine girl
Raising a girl to become a feminine woman is hard work. The baby develops femininity by observing her mother, other women, and the behavior of men. The sooner you start raising a young lady, the more feminine qualities you will be able to reveal.
Educational foundations of femininity:
- Maternal image of femininity. From the age of 5, the child begins to imitate his mother. He copies her appearance, manner of speaking, and treatment of other people.
- The feeling of fatherly love. Thanks to the respectful and reverent attitude of the father towards the mother and daughter, she begins to trust men. A sense of value appears.
- Women's hobbies. Parents should support their daughter’s desire to learn dancing, drawing, gymnastics, music, etc.
- Taking care of yourself and your surroundings. Show your child an example of how to keep order in the room. Teach hygiene of skin, hair, nails.
Sex education is an important aspect of femininity. Don't be afraid of these topics, don't avoid them. Give the girl an answer to where she was born. It is better that she learns this from her parents than from her classmates in a vulgar form.
Understanding moderation is the principle of raising a girl. Persistence will turn the child against the image of femininity.
What a feminine woman she is
To be feminine, you need to look the part and stand out from the crowd. But the most important thing is the internal content. A real woman radiates warmth that attracts the stronger sex.
Character traits typical of a feminine girl
Feminine girl confident in herself. She has a clear understanding that she is a woman. Walks with dignity: lifts his chin, straightens his back, walks easily and naturally. Not because she is proud and arrogant. But because she is confident and accepts herself for who she is.
A feminine woman has no fear of showing emotions. Girls, like children, are able to experience events vividly. A few tears shed or a sudden outburst will not make you less feminine. Consistency in emotions, the ability to process a situation through oneself is what distinguishes the fair sex.
A feminine girl knows exactly what she wants from life and achieves it. She should not cook dinner for her husband if her plans included going to a restaurant. But she knows how to compromise. If the husband does not want to go to the cafe, she agrees to order food at home. Femininity is not equivalent to sacrifice.
A feminine woman is an inspiration for men. Everything - from her unusual appearance to her manner of conversation - makes her stronger half pay attention to her. She carries herself easily and naturally.
A feminine woman combines a keeper of the hearth and a passionate lover. She knows how to quickly create comfort in the house without burdening herself and those around her. Behind closed doors, she is sensual, sexy, pleasures her man and knows what she wants to get from him.
Inner qualities characteristic of a feminine lady:
- tenderness;
- caring;
- self confidence;
- patience;
- sincerity;
- determination;
- emotionality;
- openness;
- communication skills;
- compassion.
A feminine woman, what is she like? The answer is simple: the combination of caring for others and self-confidence, patience and determination is important.
Internal qualities that reduce femininity
Every person has traits that move him away from the ideal. So it is with femininity.
There are character traits that displace the feminine principle:
- excessive diligence;
- excessive care;
- hyperactivity;
- fussiness;
- demonstrativeness;
- excessive display of intelligence;
- aggressiveness.
If a woman tries too hard, goes out of her way to make something happen, she gradually loses her feminine side. Inflated demands on oneself are a consequence of a lack of attention and praise from parents in childhood. Over time, excessive demands are transferred to others (husband, child).
Being a mother not only to your child, but also to your partner, is not a sign of femininity. Excessive caring repels the husband. Motherly love is not the feeling that a man should experience for the lady in his life.
Excessive fussiness reduces the feminine principle. A woman who constantly runs and does not sit idle is not feminine for a man. Such ladies scare away young men on a subconscious level.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Excessive demonstrativeness in appearance and behavior does not allow others to see whether the girl has the real thing. The inner quality of a lady is naturalness. She is not afraid to show the real herself. But deep experiences are revealed only to those closest to you.
Excessive display of intelligence alienates others. The use of long terms and unclear definitions is a characteristic of pseudo-intellectuals, but not smart people.
Aggression and rudeness are the main qualities that destroy the feminine principle. A rude girl who uses swear words is not feminine. The manner of speaking loudly is a manifestation of aggressiveness.
Appearance Features
Appearance is an element of femininity. We are not talking about expensive clothes and stilettos. The main thing for a girl is to look well-groomed. Unpainted nails look beautiful if they are neatly trimmed and filed. You don't have to have an elaborate hairstyle to feel like a woman. Washed and neatly blow-dried hair is a woman’s constant attribute.
A feminine woman dresses in skirts and dresses. They take us back to the 19th century, when ladies did not wear trousers and jeans. Clothes should fit your body, not be too tight or hang loose. A lady will buy ballet flats or pumps at a shoe store, not unisex boots.
A well-groomed girl knows how to hide her flaws with light makeup. A feminine woman does not wear bright shadows or draw long arrows. Nude makeup and light contouring emphasize the dignity of the face without vulgarity.
How to fulfill your feminine destiny
Femininity manifests itself in marriage. For many girls and women, a happy marriage is the meaning of life, and this is absolutely normal, because this is feminine nature. One of the main purposes of a woman is to create a strong family and become a mother. This is where all female potential is fully revealed. Signs of femininity begin to manifest themselves and women begin to feel that they are following the path of their destiny. In this state, any difficulties are overcome more easily, life seems more harmonious, happy and fulfilling, and enjoyment of your life appears.
During the period of marriage and motherhood, there is a chance to fall into the trap of everyday life. To prevent this from happening, it is important to remain flexible, like a cat, to show care, gentleness, support, but also to be able to accept it from others, without trying to do everything alone.
A woman who consciously understands that she is ready to create strong family relationships, is ready to be a homemaker, is able to understand her chosen one without words. It is enough for her to be nearby, surround him with care, love, give him a feeling of warmth, comfort and tranquility in any current situation.
Very often there are situations when a woman does not pay due attention to creating an atmosphere in the family and her marriage collapses. They begin to think that it’s solely about them, about their appearance, and they try to regain their former youth, but the partner does not return to the family. In this case, it is necessary to analyze the relationship and the roles of the partners in it. Perhaps there was jealousy, pressure from a companion, or excessive reproaches. Working on yourself, communicating and mutual understanding and supporting each other will definitely help resolve these conflicts and smooth out rough edges in relationships. Family relationships may undergo changes. This is absolutely normal.
Men's opinions about femininity
Fragility, tenderness, affection - femininity through the eyes of different men. These qualities encourage representatives of the stronger sex to protect the lady and be nearby. Be a man.
The appearance of a feminine woman, according to men
Inner qualities are revealed to the stronger sex after contact. From afar, men pay attention to how a girl looks externally.
Features of the appearance of a feminine girl, from the point of view of men:
- well-groomed hair;
- beautiful figure;
- dresses, skirts, shoes;
- neat makeup.
Long hair has been an attribute of women since ancient times. On a subconscious level, men associate thick hair with femininity. Length doesn't really matter now. The main thing is softness and silkiness of the hair.
The concept of a “beautiful” figure is not equivalent to a “model” figure. According to men, a plump lady attracts people if she is not embarrassed by her figure.
Men understand the concept of femininity when a girl has dresses, skirts, and blouses made of translucent fabrics in her wardrobe. Translucent materials are considered vulgar. Men prefer light, flowing materials on girls. They make the figure more airy.
Men consider too bright makeup to be vulgar. They appreciate light makeup with delicate, nude shades.
The man comes closer. He notices the woman's gaze. Eyes are an important part of self-presentation. Nothing will interest a man more than the alluring gaze of the lady opposite him sliding across his face and chin.
Inner qualities of femininity from a man's point of view
For men, the prototype of an ideal girl is a mother. Loving, caring, faithful, selfless - this is what it means to be feminine in the understanding of a man. The main thing is a sense of proportion.
Here are the qualities that representatives of the stronger sex value:
- calm;
- the ability to trust and confide;
- the ability to listen and empathize;
- emotionality.
A man feels calm if he has a relaxed and balanced woman next to him. Impatience, nervousness and irritability repel the stronger sex.
A man is such only next to a lady who allows him to be strong. For men, femininity is the ability to completely trust a partner, without lectures or moralizing.
Young people appreciate girls who can listen. For them, there is no one more desirable than the one who takes care of him, empathizes, and is “infected” by his emotions.
A woman combines the features of an adult and a child. She is the keeper of the hearth, the mistress of the house, and takes care of her partner. But only with her you will laugh from the heart. According to men, this is the most charming quality of a woman.
If a charismatic girl, dressed in a fitted skirt and silk blouse, bursts into ringing laughter, looking sensually into her eyes, a man will say: “She is very, very feminine.”
Lady in communication
During a conversation, you can easily determine that a representative of the fair sex is not in harmony with herself and is reconciling herself to the role of a man. Suppressed femininity almost always manifests itself in a raised tone, rude expressions, obscene language, sarcasticness, etc. In order to understand her nature and accept it, a girl needs to radically rethink her communication skills with different people.
It is no coincidence that femininity through the eyes of men is represented by tenderness and softness of temperament. This does not mean that a girl should not defend her rights, express her wishes or point of view. What adds femininity to a representative of the fair sex is the ability to find a common language with different types of people without being aggressive. It is necessary to have the talent of a diplomat and the ability to lead your opponent to the idea that his thoughts on this or that matter are not entirely correct, and the decisions made may not lead to the expected consequences.
When observing a girl who is aware of her nature, one can immediately notice that she has some kind of worldly wisdom and even knows how to eloquently remain silent when necessary. Such a representative of the fair sex will never interfere in the discussion of topics that are not entirely feminine. She can diligently avoid sharp corners in conversations, even if someone is trying to piss her off or put her in an unfavorable light. Next to a man, such a representative of the fair sex is always weak and does not hesitate to show that she needs support. Thanks to this, he can feel his value and necessity.
The voice of a real woman is soft and quiet, so it caresses the ear. There is no rudeness or harsh intonation, as well as obscene language. A real woman is distinguished by tenderness and kindness. The lady is always ready to listen, sympathize and support if necessary. It is impossible to hear sarcastic words about someone else’s even insignificant misfortune. In communication, the lady behaves very tactfully, delicately, without trying to offend or offend anyone. If you want to figure out how to reveal your femininity, you need to learn to interact with people around you from a soft position, and not loud coercion. This will allow you to further shape your image and bring your inner world to harmony.
Affectionate and feminine - similarities and differences
Affectionateness is a personality trait. It is characterized by a greater need for tenderness and empathy. Affectionate people experience emotions intensely, sympathize with others, and take other people's problems to heart.
The concept is narrower than femininity. If a woman is feminine, she is affectionate. But an affectionate girl is not necessarily feminine. Femininity includes a lot of qualities. Affectionateness is one of them.
A feminine woman takes care of loved ones, empathizes and has compassion. At the same time, she remembers herself and her aspirations.
Femininity and elegance, common points
Elegance is an important component of femininity. Translated from French, this word means sophistication and grace. The elegant lady successfully combines grace and simplicity.
Inner features of an elegant woman:
- calm;
- relaxation;
- smoothness;
- rigor.
These qualities are not genetically determined. They come with experience, after years of watching other elegant ladies and trying to imitate them. Elegance, like femininity, is characteristic of intelligent and wise women.
20th century femininity
In the 20th century, the feminine and masculine principles, equivalent to power and subordination, were strictly separated. A feminine woman was subordinate to a man, who was considered a leader and patron. Gender roles were clearly separated: the woman was the housewife, the man was the breadwinner.
The image of femininity can be seen in the works of the Silver Age. According to Goethe, femininity rules the world of men. Femininity is the force in which male egoism dissolves. In literature, femininity was equated with a deity, thanks to which harmony and peace are possible.
You melted endlessly in the snow with a song and repeated the early spring in tune. (Alexander Blok)
Femininity of the XXI century
In the 21st century, the feminine principle becomes more real. A woman is no longer an angel under the protection of a man. She is a self-sufficient person, capable of combining care for others and self-realization.
In the modern world, it is important for a woman to find herself. If a girl goes to work and earns money, this does not make her less feminine. You need to let a man understand that he is important. Even if you know how to tighten screws or rearrange furniture, leave it to your partner.
Femininity of the 21st century is the duality of masculine and feminine principles with the predominance of the latter. Gender roles are not as clear-cut as they were a century ago.
The most feminine women of Russia of the 21st century
Russian women are known all over the world for their beauty and charm. Classic Slavic femininity - long, thick, brown hair, light eyes and skin.
Rating of the most feminine women in Russia of the 21st century:
- Valentina Zelyaeva - model;
- Sofia Rudyeva - Miss Russia 2009;
- Irina Shayk - model;
- Ekaterina Guseva - actress;
- Yulia Snigir - actress;
- Maria Alexandrova is an actress.
Everyone can be feminine. The main thing is to work on yourself and accept those shortcomings that cannot be corrected. Being feminine does not mean being perfect. Only a confident lady will be desirable.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
Appearance
The symbol of femininity is long hair and dresses. You don't have to grow your braids or have elaborate hairstyles. But you should get rid of crew cuts and the like. If there is no inner femininity, such hairstyles will make you look like a man. Soft curls, frivolous curls or straight shoulder-length hair will add charm. You don't have to do your hair every day. But clean and healthy hair is a must.
Flowing dresses or formal skirts will emphasize the femininity of the figure and add mystery. Heels - even low ones - will introduce fragile instability into your gait and visually lengthen your legs.
You should not put too much makeup on your face or drench yourself in perfume. A slight understatement of the smell will make men come closer. It is better not to overuse cosmetics, but to prefer a healthy complexion and the radiance of a snow-white smile.
