What can you write to your ex after a breakup?

When it comes to correspondence with your ex, text messages can work in your favor, but only if you use this method of communication wisely.

It is especially important to pay attention to what to write to your ex-boyfriend in order to interest him and make him return. Of course, you can’t say a magic phrase after which he will crawl back. The perfect text sent at the right time is what will pave the way to success.

Texting your ex does pose a risk that he will reject you or simply not respond. For this reason, be mentally prepared for any development of events, especially if the guy left you. If you feel that you will not be able to endure negative scenarios after you write to your guy, then first devote more time to working on yourself before taking such a difficult step.

What you can and cannot write

First of all, let's talk about what you can and cannot write to your ex-boyfriend:

You cannot write while intoxicated. This is always a very bad idea. On a sober head, you will regret this action.
Don't do it just because you're lonely. You need to make sure that your ex is the right person, and the relationship will be different this time.
Get rid of excessive emotionality. Men are not prone to emotionally difficult conversations. This means don't send him messages like, “I can't stop crying. I don't know how to live without you.” This will only push the ex away and reduce the chances of returning.
Don't start a fight to get attention. Even if you get an answer, the conversation will definitely go in the wrong direction in the end.
Obsessiveness. If he doesn't respond, then just leave the man alone. There is no need to write millions of times: “Are you there? Hello???? Why don't you answer me?? Something happened? Just answer so I know you’re alive!” If a person doesn’t answer, it means he doesn’t want to do it. Is it worth causing additional irritation and humiliating yourself, especially when he abandoned you. You can read more about the signs that your ex wants to come back in our separate article.

Mistakes you shouldn't make after breaking up with your boyfriend

Women are very emotional creatures. And in the heat of the moment they can do a lot of things. As a rule, in stressful situations the mental activity of the brain is switched off.

There is nothing you can do to hold a man back, neither with children, nor with youth, nor with “stomach”, nor with blackmail, nor with hysterics. He stays with the woman he wants to live with.

Therefore, NEVER DO this:

do not humiliate yourself and do not beg him to return;
there is no need to threaten, insult, frighten with physical violence, or humiliate;
agree to be a litter i.e. for intimate meetings without obligations;
attempts to appease with gifts, bribery;
blackmail;
obsession.

“No contact” rule

In order to understand when you can write to your ex after a breakup, follow an important rule - wait a period without any contact. As a rule, this is at least four weeks.

You cannot text, call or communicate during this period.

It doesn't matter if it's the guy's birthday, whether he's made any positive changes in his life, etc. No contact means no contact.

Why is this point so important? The period of no contact gives him the opportunity to get bored, which he cannot do if you are always looming in front of his nose or blowing up his phone or social networks with messages. Four weeks of no communication can also help you get rid of the intensity of emotions after a breakup and gain a clearer understanding of what happened.

After this period of no contact, if your ex hasn't texted himself, then you can make contact through whatever means you want. Text messages are usually the easiest and safest method.

The exception to the “no contact” rule is tragic events. You can write to your ex for support, but be very careful and not verbose.

The text options below are good ways to reconnect or get people thinking about you in a more romantic way, but only after a four-week period of no communication. This is a must!

Reasons for separation

Breakups in relationships have many causes. It's like unstable weather. One moment there is warm, comfortable, joyful weather in the family, then suddenly a hurricane hits, a storm begins, shaking and tossing everyone around. There may be a light breeze and a little rain, but they do not carry anything dangerous.

There are many reasons and I will not list them here. What for? Does it really matter why your loved one left? He left, that’s it, the event happened. Let's better understand how to return it.

Sometimes someone can’t stand it and tries to move to another place where it’s quieter. But this does not mean that there has been a final break in the relationship.

And if you put aside your emotions, calm down, think, analyze the situation and your behavior. You can understand how to behave after breaking up with a man so that he wants to come back.

Happiness and ease

Men love happy women. When you feel good, they enjoy being around you and talking to you. When a girl is always negative and emotionally unbalanced, then men prefer to stay on the sidelines.

There is nothing more attractive than a positive and happy woman.

Be sure to keep this in mind if you want to text your ex.

Just one little happy and light-hearted text can do wonders. It will also show the guy that it is safe to approach you. Perhaps the ex wanted to write the first one himself, but was not sure that you were in any good mood. With a happy, carefree text, you show that you have gone through all the terrible emotions and are ready for a new life.

Starting a conversation with your ex-boyfriend with vague or banal formulations, such as: “How are you? What are you doing?" - it’s not worth it. This may make your ex a little wary of the conversation. He doesn’t know whether you are friendly or going to start a scandal. The best way to re-ignite the spark is to recall a shared positive experience. This will direct the conversation in the right direction and have a more positive tone.

The message should show that you are thinking about the past, but not necessarily about your ex specifically. That you don’t cry into your pillow every night, thinking about him, but continue to live, and only sometimes some things remind you of the past. Or, for example, you think about some happy memory and feel comfortable discussing it with your ex.

For example, you could write something like: “Hi. I just wanted to know if you ever tried bungee jumping, which we looked at recently. I tried it and really liked it! I recommend."

If you changed...

Female infidelity has long been included in the 7 deadly sins for modern society. Therefore, you have to pay much harder. If a man is unfaithful, many may complain about his male freedom or midlife crisis, and in general, they have forgotten and forgiven. Then, if the wife turned out to be unfaithful, everyone who finds out about the offense will be branded with shame and dissuade the betrothed from reconciliation.

In this case, you should act wisely, weighing your actions and words. In order for him to still consider the sincerity of his repentance and eventually return, his beloved should write a sincere, long and piercing letter as a farewell, here are a few examples:

“In all family troubles, both are always to blame. But not in this situation. This is entirely my fault, my mistake and my sin. I succumbed to my emotions, and after that there was not a minute that I did not regret what I had done. It hurts me to breathe, realizing with each awakening that you are not with me and cannot forgive me. Accept my repentance and know that I love you with all my heart.”
“My mistake has taken everything from me, the air that I breathe, the earth that gives me support, the water that saves me from thirst. But I am ready to accept all these hardships, if only you would be near me again. Having stumbled, the criminal receives a prison sentence. So tell me, how much is measured out for me? I love you and am ready to wait for your forgiveness.”
“I am very sorry that I made you suffer. Every day before going to bed and immediately after waking up, I reproach myself for my mistake. Guilt in front of you does not allow me to move, breathe and feel this world again. Please listen to me, give me a chance to fix everything. I love you!"

Intriguing

The best thing you can do after a breakup is to work on yourself, making yourself a better person. If everything remains exactly the same, then the former partner will not be ready to restore the relationship.

You need to change the way the guy sees you. An intriguing message will help with this.

This type of text shows that you are a better version of the person you once were. That is, you get outside more, exercise, travel, live your best life. This type of woman really captures a man's attention.

Mention something interesting you did or saw recently that reminded you of a funny thing you did with your ex.

These texts will arouse his interest:

Is she a runner now?
When did she become so passionate about fitness? She looks simply amazing...
Did she go on vacation? And with whom? Maybe she was with a guy?

An intriguing message will make a man think about you in a new way, which means it will shake his confidence in his decisions.

Rules of conduct if you want to write to your ex-man

There is nothing surprising in such a manifestation of feelings for a man. But before you rush to save your relationship, follow these rules so that your decision is informed.

Keep your feelings under control.

There is a chance that you do not miss your ex-man, but the memories of him. I want to warn you: old feelings may never return. So before you text him, think again.

Don't give your ex a reason to gloat.

If the former lover ignores the message, the woman may lose her composure. Therefore, before taking the first step, you should take care of your self-esteem. After all, how can a man think: “Since she’s pursuing me, that means I’m a male.” And this may hurt you, which should not be allowed

Give important news at the meeting.

To renew the relationship, a personal meeting cannot be avoided. And general conversations about the weather won't help. In live communication, emotion, smell, facial expressions and body movements are important. Only on a date can a woman understand whether she has a chance to awaken new feelings or whether this was the end.

Let go of the situation for a while.

Do not rush to write to a man after a quarrel. Give him time to cool down and think things over. It is possible that he himself will take a step towards reconciliation. If the breakup was due to the woman’s fault, then it’s worth weighing everything carefully. Perhaps this is something that should have been done a long time ago?

Remember the reason for the separation.

If a woman initiated the breakup, then her desire to talk to him may be a matter of habit. When this happens, then remind yourself more often that there were reasons for the breakup. If a man has put an end to it, then the woman should maintain her self-esteem and not impose herself. Simple messages with the text “How are you?” may look pathetic.

Find out the real reason.

In order for a man to think and want to meet you, it is important to fill his life with other activities. Start doing what you have been putting off for a long time: go to the gym, to a concert, read, draw. In this way, you can fill your life with new colors and completely forget about the man or meet a new one.

Don't compare yourself to others

You don't have to be like everyone else. If everyone around you has been married for a long time, don’t attach much importance to it. Moreover, it is not worth living with a person who is not suitable for you, because “that’s how it should be” and “it’s time to get married.” Better alone than with just anyone. Freedom has its benefits.

Filter your data.

Don't believe rumors. If he wanted to return, he would find a way. Before you write, it’s better to find out the latest news from his life if you don’t want to put yourself in an awkward position. But without fanaticism.

Emphasis on nostalgia

People will always idealize what they no longer have. This is a natural process that will work in your favor after a breakup. If you don’t know what to write to your ex-boyfriend, then remind him of happy times. This powerful tool activates feelings of longing for you.

For example, write the following: “I remember one cool night at the top of our cliff... you kept me warm, holding me in your arms. It was a pleasure."

When is it worth going for reconciliation?

To decide whether to reunite with your lover, you should answer a few questions honestly:

In a disagreement, did the guy insult you harshly or hit you?
Do you often fight in your relationship?
Does your lover abuse alcohol?
Letting a guy talk ignorantly in front of other people with you?
Cheating with someone else?

If the answer to two questions is “Yes,” then you should think wisely about returning the person. Perhaps your love is walking somewhere nearby. In case of negative answers, you should try to correct the situation and return the guy .

We're friends now

This is an extremely dangerous type of message, so use it with caution. After all, you may end up in the friend zone forever.

For example, send: “Hey... just wanted to say that I'm glad it's over, but I'd be really sorry to lose our friendship.”

This is a good option because the balance of power shifts from the guy to you. Instead of your ex thinking you still want to get back, you say you just want to be friends. This way you can end up having fun with him again... and then re-seduce him!

Errors and possible fixes

What mistakes do former partners make when corresponding?

They start swearing .
Even after finally going through all the stages of separation, people often continue to experience irritation and resentment towards their ex-partner, because separation is a long and painful path. Anger and anger in this case are absolutely normal reactions, but negativity should not take precedence over other feelings.
Instead of being sarcastic in your messages, stop texting altogether. Write down everything you feel on paper and then burn it. It is worth resuming correspondence only if the “passions” have completely subsided.
They write that they miss you . The passing of a loved one is not easy. Again, it’s quite normal to doubt your own abilities, “whether I can live without my other half.” Therefore, instead of the body’s natural reaction in the form of nostalgia, which will only make life even more difficult, open up to other close people - family, friends, a professional psychologist. Surely people who have already walked this path will be able to give practical advice from personal experience.
They brag about their new lover, relationships, family . Of course, this is one of the most striking temptations. But even if you yourself have already managed to let go of the situation and plunge headlong into a sea of new emotions and feelings, your ex-partner may still have a gaping wound in his soul. Don’t cause pain, and in case of the opposite situation, be happy for the person who was once dear to you.
List a list of your own mistakes . Don't dwell on what you were wrong about. Parting is an already accomplished fact, for which there were probably good reasons. Even if the failed chosen one focuses on the negative, you are not obliged to clarify what has already been “overgrown with reality.” As a last resort, choose one factor that requires discussion and talk about it in detail in correspondence.
They are trying to move the relationship into a friendly direction . Time is the best healer. Don’t rush to conclusions and don’t make hasty decisions, give yourself time to think carefully in order to adequately and soberly assess the situation from the outside.
They give compliments . Social networks are a real minefield of memories and unnecessary feelings. Have you noticed a new photo of your ex, do you like the way he looks? It’s better not to say anything than to openly provoke feelings. Kind words will not help you overcome attachment.
They invite you to visit . In moments of loneliness and melancholy, the easiest way is to follow a momentary impulse of feelings. Just passing the time together over tea is just an excuse, admit it honestly.
They blame each other for silence . Congratulations on the holidays, sending curse words and just chatting, but your ex turns on “ignore”? There is no need to indulge in provocations. If a person does not respond because he is busy, he will unsubscribe sooner or later. If not, take it as a sign from above that you shouldn’t correspond at all.
They accidentally “make the mistake” of the addressee . Very often people try to cheat and decide to provoke a past life partner, and then “pretend to be a hose.” Before you stoop to this, think about how it will look from the outside - nothing more than the manipulation of a not particularly mature person.

Calling out jealousy

Jealousy plays a huge role and often attracts an old love back. Sometimes this is the only way to make a man understand how much he misses his ex-girlfriend.

Many people say that trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy. Honestly, this is a very tricky and at the same time very dangerous option that can lead to disaster.

Jealousy should not be used if the ex-boyfriend is insecure, extremely emotional, or jealous.

The message could be: “Hi! Everything was wonderful last night. You looked amazing!”

Keep in mind that you can only send this message after you have already written to your ex in a pleasant manner and feel good mutual understanding between you.

Form and content of a message to an ex

Don't know what to write to your ex-man? First of all, compose the text of the message. It should be unobtrusive and short. Re-read it several times before submitting. There should be no errors in SMS. In addition, this way you can evaluate whether you made the right decision.

Form is as important as content
The nature of your ex-boyfriend's response depends on the tone in which you write the message. If you unobtrusively, without a hint of your feelings, invite him to meet, then the likelihood that he will come to the meeting will be high. The opposite effect should be expected if the message contains words about how much you miss him and want to see him. The second option will tell him that you are suffering and need him.
That is, the purpose of your message can be one - the desire to see each other. But the way you express this desire determines his reaction.
Sincerity comes first.
If you still have a problem with such a meaningless presentation of the text, then all that remains is to write in more detail about your love for it. It is worth, firstly, asking for forgiveness from him if you are to blame for the reason for the separation, or if you somehow behaved ugly. At such a moment, it is easy for a person to understand how sincere the interlocutor’s words are. Just keep in mind that in this case it is necessary to live up to your words.
Correct format.
Choose the moment to write your message carefully. In your message, briefly and without fluff, write your request for a meeting. If it’s too early to meet and talk, then let him know that your feelings are very strong and you don’t want to lose him.
What should not be in a letter?
Don't try to make a man feel sorry for himself. He is unlikely to appreciate it, and few people will like it. You should not resort to manipulation. It’s definitely not possible to renew the relationship this way. Swearing and offensive words are also inappropriate. It's best to control your emotions and not get angry. After all, you want to return to the old relationship, and not alienate the man even more.
If you start accusing him of ignoring messages, this will also not lead to anything good. Just like reproaches, and even an attempt at blackmail. After all, it’s not possible to take him by force now?
A long message about who did what wrong and what is to blame will also turn out to be a failure.
Remove all words with affectionate nicknames from the text. This is unlikely to have any positive effect. Because of this, he will not forgive you and will not rush into your arms. There is no need to make it clear once again that you are ready to do anything if only he would pay attention to you.
Such behavior will only give you another reason to offend you and hurt you. Realize the whole situation and try to come to terms with it.
If the relationship really has come to an end, then your efforts will be in vain and it doesn’t matter who is to blame for the breakup.
It is clear that girls are very sentimental by nature. Emotions can strongly contradict true desires. Therefore, be as calm and restrained as possible.

It is a fact that the more a lady shows her indifference, the greater the chances that a man will become interested in her again. After all, who wants to lose a beautiful woman who knows her worth.

Request for advice

As you know, men are creatures who want to help the weaker sex both physically and mentally. For this reason, ask him for advice on some topic that your ex-boyfriend understands. Feeling useful has been shown to relieve feelings of stress in men, and communicating with an ex-girlfriend can be a challenging time.

For example: “Hello! I decided to take up music, but I don’t know which guitar is better to choose. Can you give me some advice?

The ex-boyfriend will feel great at the time of reading, as this is a confirmation of his expertise in this matter. But this option won’t work if you just come up with something that you don’t need at all. If a man catches you in a lie, then the chance will be lost.

What to do before you write

Don’t rush and don’t be led by emotions; before you write something, think about whether it’s really worth doing. After all, you broke up for a reason. Over time, all grievances are forgotten and fade into the background. Remember the shortcomings of your ex, his unworthy behavior. After all, he will not change, and you should not waste your life in a relationship with a person whose behavior does not suit you.

Understand whether you really want reunion or whether this desire is imposed from the outside. Another friend got married, and your mother is terrorizing you with questions about when you’ll be able to go out at your wedding. Don’t pay attention to the comments of others, you deserve the best, and you don’t need to build a relationship with the first candidate you come across. A lonely girl has a much greater chance of finding a soul mate and a truly congenial person.

Or maybe you just got bored and your attempt to renew the relationship was dictated by the desire to diversify your life? Then keep yourself busy, find a hobby. Relationships are built on mutual love, and not to entertain someone.

Messages are not a magic pill.

Of course, SMS and messages on social networks make it possible to establish a connection with your ex, even if it was he who left you. The text gives a huge advantage, because you can:

think about the answer;
discuss things that are difficult to talk about in person.

But don’t expect that after writing just a couple of messages, your ex-boyfriend will immediately be on his knees at your door asking you to take him back. A constant dialogue should be created between you over some time. There is no need to rush in this matter; on the contrary, try to get to know your ex again, as if you had just met.

Progressive movements towards each other will help build contact, and most importantly, understand whether it is worth starting a relationship with your ex after a breakup.

If they leave you...

It is more painful and offensive to find yourself in the role of an abandoned party. The more you want to be collected, proud and desired at the moment of parting. Here are some options that will tell you what to say to a guy when breaking up so that he regrets:

“You deserve a kind, sweet and shy girl. I am completely different, purposeful and strong. Therefore, it is good that our paths diverge. Goodbye!"
“Initially, I was not ready to build a future together with you! But your persistence prevailed... And what came of it?”
“Leave quickly and don’t look back! Everything will be great for you, I wish you happiness!”
“I respect your decision! It really will be better for us separately. Although I am still in love with you..."
“Don’t blame yourself for anything, none of us are perfect. If you want to leave, go, I won’t keep you...”
“Thank you for the time we spent together, but you’re right, we’d be better off apart!”
“You were right when you said that we have little in common. And I kept thinking that opposites attract. It's time to part ways."
“Our love was too ideal to turn into infinity. Thank you for the days spent together"
“I’m sad and hurt not because we’re breaking up. But because you still found a reason to break up. But I still wish you happiness.”

The main thing is to be sincere, but not to show the withering negativity pressing from within. Pleas, threats, accusations will be unnecessary in any case. They won’t keep him and won’t return him, but at the same time they will become a reason to isolate himself from any contacts, or even a topic for jokes among his friends. Pride and self-sufficiency must come to the fore.

What to write in a message to make a guy feel negative emotions

If you still haven’t mastered the art of barbs over text, our advice will come in handy.

We humiliate with offensive jokes

Coming up with an offensive joke phrase is not so easy. It must meet certain requirements:

If you ridicule any quality of his, you must be truthful. If he is smart, there is no point in making fun of his stupidity.
The most noticeable blow is the one that is applied to sore spots. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, and you know what unpleasant situations he has been in and where he showed himself in an unsightly light, remind him of this and season him with “pepper and salt” so that it burns longer.

If you don’t know what SMS to write to a guy that will touch his heartstrings, you can turn to the ubiquitous Internet for help. The World Wide Web is replete with role models, but your recent admirer may have already heard them. Therefore, we offer you our set of humiliatingly funny phrases:

“The figurine you gave me was completely accidentally broken. Just imagine, I hit the wall myself. So sorry. I can’t give it back to you.”
“After our parting, I tried for a long time to find sadness in myself, or at least a little sadness. For some reason I didn't find it. We must have done something wrong. We must repeat the separation."
“Zhuzha misses you. Such a naive and stupid animal. Today I’ll start re-educating her.”
“Don’t touch my strengths with your shortcomings.”
“Apparently you were last in line when God gave out intelligence and beauty to people.” “You are like a vast ocean, covered with an endless series of waves. I feel sick when I look at you."
“Are you always so stupid or is today a triumph for you?”
“I see you’ve let smart thoughts get into your head?”
“I sympathize with your mirror. Seeing this face several times a day is not an attraction for the faint of heart.”
“Think at least with your bone marrow.”
“Did your parents offer you money when you were a child to run away from home?”
“I advise you to speak out as often as possible. Perhaps constant practice will eventually give you a chance, and you will voice some smart idea.”
“You probably don’t know this, but there are several hairdressers in our city. One of them is around the corner."
“Nature rested well on your face.”
“Have your brains returned from vacation yet?”
“I don’t even know how to explain this to you. After all, I don’t speak the language of stupid people.”

Causing jealousy

Is he worried about the fear of losing you completely and irrevocably? Fuel this destructive feeling with your messages.

“Your friend is really handsome. Can you text me his phone number?” With such a message you will not only cause jealousy, but also hurt his pride.
Ambiguous phrases are also suitable: “You don’t have to worry about me. There is someone to take care of me.” This “someone” can actually be not only a young person, but also parents, relatives, and friends.
Write him a long, beautiful compliment, and then send him a message indicating that you were the wrong recipient.
Send him a photo of a man's shirt and ask if he forgot it at your house? Let him think that you already have someone.

Show your imagination

To show him what a worthy woman he missed, engage in self-praise. At first he may take it ironically. But if you send him compliments infrequently but regularly, this can be an effective way to influence him.

“Today I outdid myself at work. I prepared such a delightful presentation. Everyone listened with their mouths open.”
“I myself am surprised how I manage to look so beautiful in our difficult times. I am attaching a photo report."
“I bought myself a new brand bag. For all bonuses. Unlike some, I can afford it.”

Some time after a strong quarrel, a man begins to feel remorse. Under their influence, he becomes softer and more romantic. Memories messages will be effective here: about first dates, joint holidays and trips, cute trinkets or serious gifts that you exchanged, in general, about everything related to happy days that are a thing of the past. Messages like this would be suitable: “Remember that pretty courtyard where you kissed me for the first time? Snowdrops are blooming there now.” “What were we thinking when we killed our love? We can’t get these feelings back.”

Each couple has their own code words that seem funny and amusing only to them, because they are associated with some kind of embarrassment, an unusual event, which they happened to witness or participate in. Or it could be a song, a poem, even a joke. Write him your secret phrase. Such a move will not leave him 100% indifferent.

Or maybe we should do it again?..

But if after parting the feelings do not subside, then an SMS to your ex-beloved man may be with the hope of a meeting or even a resumption of the relationship:

I'm seriously worried about our breakup, don't disappear.
My soul becomes sad and lonely, I can’t live without you.
I'm ready to forgive you everything, just come back.
Everything reminds me of you, where are you?
I can’t pull myself together and forget you, help.
It is difficult to get rid of someone you loved so much from your memory.
Tears are choking me, I can’t think about anything - you’re in front of my eyes.
I don't understand why we broke up, please explain.
“I’m crying for you, my love, I’m crying!”
"Not renounce loving".
My soul continues to hurt, but I fight with my love for you.
You left, but my love for you remained to live in my empty house.
How can I stop loving you?
Let's still have a farewell party, because we have something to say to each other.
“It’s a little sad that there’s no love, a little sad that there’s no hope.”
I'm still waiting for you.
I'm trying to let you go, but so far it's not going well.
It’s as if something has broken in my soul, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I’m longing for you.
I have a feeling of incompleteness in our relationship - is it just me?
“Let’s try to get something back, anything.”
“I will never meet such a guy again. Life only gives you a friend like you once!
“The memory of you will not allow me to smooth out my sadness.”
Your hands, your eyes - are they all in the past?
You are my happiness - I realized only now.
You are not around, and I can no longer drown in your arms.
I will always keep my love for you.
I will forget all our grievances, I will never reproach you, just come.
I realized that I truly love you.
Being with you means breathing and living, without you I’m suffocating.
You are still the best of men.
Or maybe you should just love those who love you?
Have you always been able to listen to me and understand how to live without this now?
I feel bad, I look at your photo - I think that we are together again.